FU WTF End Game situation

[Jan]

FIRST

I was out in a club two weekends in a row. On the first weekend I met a really beautiful woman. I was with a friend and we approached her and her friend on the dance floor. We danced a bit and had a decent banter on the dance floor. After couple of minutes was feeling due to my limiting beliefs, my mindset was starting going chode-way around her so I decided to eject and give myself little time to reset and reestablish proper frame. I told her that we are going for a smoke and that we will find them later. She said: "Sure, please find us later."

After I refreshed I found her again, came over and started talking. Even though she invited me enthusiastically, my conversation was to serious for the occassion. I thought about her as a possible girlfriend, so I wanted to know what her values are in life. It's a good question but it was too early. She replied "Tranquility" which kind of surpised me. I didn't think of tranquility as value, but ok. Anyway, she told me that this is too serious of a topic for now. We agreed that we may talk about it some other time because she is a friend now. It came to exchange contact details, she proposed FB which I told her I don't use, Instagram neither. I actually didn't want any of these. I don't remember the details of this contact info exchange, but I finally left without it. I didn't want to do her way, she didn't want to do my way, so I left and didn't see her again that night.

SECOND NIGHT

On the second night (a week later), she saw me first and she came over to say hi. It was a good sign already. She was smiling, happy, clearly remembering me, and she came first. It was kind of in the middle of the club, and just a quick and she told: "I'm here with a friend, I can't ignore, I will talk to you later."

Later in a night, it was already about 3am I saw them walking through the dance floor, so I approached again, and said: "Hey, let's have a drink and talk." Three of us came to the bar, I ordered them a drink and we had about 30-40 minutes conversation.

It was a very good conversation, much better than the previous day. She was very much into me, talking a lot, giving me hundreds of compliments, touching my arm and back. I was doing the same to her. She was smily, happy and clearly attracted. The emotions between two of us were really good. Relaxed, happy, you could feel sexual energy slowly rising. She told me that I'm very different guy, that I'm emotionally on high level. She told that other men approach her all the time, but they offer her a drink but there is no platform to communicate further. She also told me that I great posture, she praised my body saying it's silly muscular but still strong. She was 100% honest and enthusiastic about all these stuff. She told me about her past relationship, her private life, etc. Really decent conversation. Not sure if it's worthy to mention but she ended her long term relationship three weeks ago.

At some point, she pointed on her watch, basically saying: "It's late." We talked and touched a bit more, and at some point I said: "Take my number.". She enthusiastically replied: "Sure." We exchanged numbers. I don't know who suggested this first, but the consensus for three of us was that we are gonna leave the club. We finished the drinks, and started walking through the dance floor towards the elevator. Kind in the moment, she mentioned that she wants one more dance, but her friend didn't hear it and we kind of walked through the dance floor towards to the elevator.

First red light happened there. She was walking first, I was walking second and her friend behind me. We were all a second or two separted, and in front of the elevator there was a group of 3 or 4 guys waiting for the elevator. She came suspisciously close to them. Nothing big, but she made it super easy for them to talk to her. The guy who talked to her looked pretty lame to me. I mean, not like a total chode but I just a regular, horny guy in the club. I didn't hear the conversation but she responded pretty positively, talking to him, she even touched his back briefly. When we entered the elevator, three of came together again, talking to to each other again. I thought the happy story for the guy is over.

I was wondering what this thing with the guy was all about. And I have few hypotesis:
1) shit test - to see how I handle her being available to other guys
2) jelousy plot - to make me jelous and see how I react
3) since we were leaving the club and we didn't agree that we are going to take a cab together, she thought I'm not gonna fuck her tonight, but she was horny so she opened herself to whoever was around

END GAME

My plan for the end game was to put her friend to Uber and take another Uber to her place or my place. I was also ok with her going home too, my sexual energy was pretty low that night and I was also happy meeting her another time.

But something really weird happened. Three of us went down to the changing rooms and when I was waiting for my jacket, THEY LEFT THE CLUB WITHOUT TAKING THEIR COATS. They didn't say bye, they just left. I saw them walking outside and away, just two of them. I was really confused and angry. I didn't understand their intentions. I started thinking. Ok, they left me but didn't take their their clothes, so they had to go back to the club. I suspected they wanted me to leave the club and then they would go back. I decided to test this hypothesis and before I ordered my uber I waited in front of the club for about 15-20 minutes. I was curious to see if they will return. But they didn't. It wasn't that warm outside, and they were without jackets so I thought it's just a matter of time until they come back. They will simply get cold. But they didn't come back.

I saw this group of 4 guys outside, waiting for Uber. The taxi driveway is pretty big there. While I was waiting I saw three of these guys jumped into the cab. Then I saw the fourth one later, he looked to me kind of emotionally charged but also confused, like not knowing what to do. I thought he was chasing the girls, they showed him some positive signs but he didn't know what to do. Cause the girl was really hot and for my intuition, clearly above his level. But all these is just my interpretation. I really don't know what really happened.

After about 15-20 I took Uber and left home.

I was a really big WTF moment for me. Would be awesome to hear from you guys. What the fuck happened there?

 

[Chase]

@Jan,

Sounds like you're doing decent with your conversation (just needs to be a little less serious). Fundamentals seem like they're in a good place, if that girl and her compliments were any indication.

A little feedback:

Not sure if it's worthy to mention but she ended her long term relationship three weeks ago.

Yes, that is absolutely worth mentioning.

You said your conversation was basically "too serious", girlfriend screening -- she even told you it was too early for it.

She just broke up 3 weeks ago. She's on the rebound. She wants a hookup! She wants to have fun.

That is the key to this whole report.

At some point, she pointed on her watch, basically saying: "It's late."

Translation: "Take me home."

We talked and touched a bit more, and at some point I said: "Take my number."

Why not invite her home instead?

You had an awesome connection, she's really into you, the touch is strong, she's now met you there TWICE, she just broke up three weeks ago... this girl is hard-up for some hard dick, man!

My guess is you saw how hot she was and your head went, "Whoa. A girl this hot would never be down for a one-night stand. I need to court her slowly and make her my girlfriend."

You'd have had much better odds pulling her home, fucking her silly, then having her come back for a repeat after that.

That's what she was looking for.

Kind in the moment, she mentioned that she wants one more dance, but her friend didn't hear it and we kind of walked through the dance floor towards to the elevator.

She was probably suspecting you were not going to close.

You don't exactly seem to be pushing for it at this point.

First red light happened there. She was walking first, I was walking second and her friend behind me. We were all a second or two separted, and in front of the elevator there was a group of 3 or 4 guys waiting for the elevator. She came suspisciously close to them. Nothing big, but she made it super easy for them to talk to her. The guy who talked to her looked pretty lame to me. I mean, not like a total chode but I just a regular, horny guy in the club. I didn't hear the conversation but she responded pretty positively, talking to him, she even touched his back briefly. When we entered the elevator, three of came together again, talking to to each other again. I thought the happy story for the guy is over.

I was wondering what this thing with the guy was all about. And I have few hypotesis:
1) shit test - to see how I handle her being available to other guys
2) jelousy plot - to make me jelous and see how I react
3) since we were leaving the club and we didn't agree that we are going to take a cab together, she thought I'm not gonna fuck her tonight, but she was horny so she opened herself to whoever was around

It was #2.

You didn't seem like you were going to try to pull her.

She picked some LAME guy to talk to, who was no threat to you at all, and engaged him to see if you'd swoop in and peel her off and pull her home.

Good try on her part, but sad for her it did not work

END GAME

My plan for the end game was to put her friend to Uber and take another Uber to her place or my place. I was also ok with her going home too, my sexual energy was pretty low that night and I was also happy meeting her another time.

Sure, you were happy to let her go, and hope to perhaps run into her another time...

BUT SHE WASN'T!

Ignoring girls' escalation windows is a luxury very few men have.

Even if you get to the point where you are very, very good, and extremely attractive, plenty of women still will not wait around for you if you are unable to capitalize on their escalation windows.

But something really weird happened. Three of us went down to the changing rooms and when I was waiting for my jacket, THEY LEFT THE CLUB WITHOUT TAKING THEIR COATS.

Are you sure they brought coats with them?

Many women don't...

They didn't say bye, they just left. I saw them walking outside and away, just two of them. I was really confused and angry.

Your girl was probably hoping to shake you into action, hoping you'd chase her down and do something manly, pull her, anything.

Sounds like you just watched her walk away.

I was a really big WTF moment for me. Would be awesome to hear from you guys. What the fuck happened there?

Well dude, you missed a layup.

I don't know what the odds are you get this girl. She's probably gone. I doubt she'll want a repeat of that disappointment, and even if she runs into you in the club again she's likely not to 'trust' you for that.

HOWEVER, assuming you haven't texted or anything, she doesn't actually know that you were confused/angry when she left. She might think you were just chilling, happy to go home alone, etc.

If it was me I would try texting her normally, not expecting much. Maybe try to get drinks one weeknight and see if she's still horny then and try to move it forward if so.

I would probably also try injecting a lot more sexuality into my next conversation with her -- should I manage to get in-person with her again -- just to make it clear to her that "something is different this time" and she stands a chance to actually gets what she wants with me this time.

Judging by how horny she seemed to be, she's likely to get scooped up by some other guy able to sate her need for a quick fuck / rebound FWB though, and may not be very hard-up for it for long. I'd be trying to get her out ASAP if I was you and you were able to raise her via text. She may well get another cock in her by next weekend if not sooner, and it'll dampen the way she sees you after that ("Oh, there's the guy I was talking to before Brian fucked me").

Take your shot regardless -- it's the only way you learn!

Chase

 

[Jan]

@Chase It's a brilliant review. Thank you.

I guess you were pretty much on point with everything. I recently got much better in early and mid game, but my late game beliefs and skills didn't catch up yet. You are right that I didn't see her as a hookup opportunity. I saw her as a potential LT girlfriend and so I proceeded "accordingly".

Even few months ago my mid game (rapport, connection, comfort) was poor so I was not able to pull. And at that time I tried EVERY TIME. And failed pretty much every time.

Because my mid game was poor I wasn't exposed to mid-game or late-game escalation window. I wasn't able to properly read signals where I could know that this is a high chance pull opportunity.

I'm pretty sure she is gone for me.

I texted her yesterday. I thought to myself: 'she was trying to make me jealous' because I wasn't attainable enough for her. So I sent her a message: "I had great time with you yesterday. You're awesome'. Or something to this degree. She didn't reply. I don't even know if she's read it.

Later the same day I deleted the message. I don't know if she's seen it or not.

Today after I read your reply I texted her again: "I guess you felt disappointed and angry on Saturday. Me too". She didn't reply. Status message: 'Delivered'

I'm gonna keep what I'm doing in early and mid game, read the article on escalation windows and I try to be more cognisant of late game signs. And then pull on these signs.

There is another issue I have thought.

I'm actually emotionally on a massive roller coaster these days because my fundamentals and vibe are really awesome. But at the same time, I go out and go out, and never close. I actually get ghosted so fucking often I never experienced that before. And it's driving me nuts to the point that I tell to myself that I hate women and I'm not gonna talk to them anymore

I also get angry on myself that I don't allow myself to express my anger in women's presence. I really believe that trying to always stay cool and ignore/mute your emotions is not good for you, for seduction, for her. Let me tell you something VERY interesting. When I went back home from the club, I went to bed and allowed myself to feel the anger and resentment in my body. I first felt anger, confussion and resentment and immediately afterwards I felt massive sexual desire for her and started imagining how I'm fucking her. My hypothesis that this WHOLE JELOUSY PLOT situation was unconcious play between a woman who is horny and wants to make a man horny for her. If I only didn't self-sabotage myself but just allow my male instincts to release itself, I'm pretty sure I would have fucked her that night.