You slept with my friend!

[weekendwarrior]

Hi guys,

I recently posted about getting locked out of my house after a date with this chick I previously SNL. She didn't reply to my follow up message after a terrible performance, so I dropped it. She seen me out at the weekend, I seen her making out with some fat guy, so I made a point to be seen dancing with my wing woman Miss Tall when she came near. She waved at me, and I blanked her pretending I didn't notice. Later in the night she seen me again and waved so I waved back so that I'm not emotionally hurt by it.

I went to the bar and these two chicks turned round and seen me. One of them shouted at me you slept with chick's name, twice! I had no idea how to respond, I just shrugged it off like it was no big deal. She came up to me and said she said a lot of good things about you, don't worry. A lot of good things. Again, I didn't know how to respond so just let her walk away.

In my head I'm thinking well she can't have been saying that much good stuff or she'd have replied or not been making out with some fat guy. The fat guy came up to me at the end of the night and said how cool he thought I was and that he thought it all night. The chick was standing behind him at this point, bet that was awkward. Before I left it looked like he was having an emotional breakdown outside of the club while she was checking on him. She clearly upgraded!

Could I have responded to her friends better?

( @HoofHearted this is how that interaction has developed)

Warrior

 

[Chase]

@weekendwarrior,

One of them shouted at me you slept with chick's name, twice! I had no idea how to respond, I just shrugged it off like it was no big deal. She came up to me and said she said a lot of good things about you, don't worry. A lot of good things. Again, I didn't know how to respond so just let her walk away.

In my head I'm thinking well she can't have been saying that much good stuff or she'd have replied or not been making out with some fat guy.

She wanted to talk to you, and gave you a huge bait to draw her in with. Probably wanted to sample the goods herself.

The way you respond to this is, "Oh really, what kinds of good things did she say? Everybody likes to hear their own praise sometimes..." then let this girl you've never slept (yet) with regale you with tales of how charming and dashing you are or how fun a lay you are, etc.

It doesn't matter what actually transpired between the other girl and you. It doesn't even matter what the other girl told this girl... for all you know she could be greatly exaggerating, just to have an excuse to talk to you.

The only thing that matters is what THIS girl thinks about you.

Well, assuming you want her.

If she's not cute / you don't want her, then the other option is just collecting intel on what the chick you banged is doing, and maybe wrapping this new girl up into a plot to shag that old girl again. i.e.,

HER: "You slept with my friend, Crissy! You slept with my friend!" [GETS IN CLOSE] "She said a lot of good things about you, don't worry. A lot of good things."​

​

YOU: "Yeah, it's too bad, because I'm all alone now." [FAKE SAD FACE] "What can you do, the fates are cruel."​

​

HER: "She still really likes you!"​

​

YOU: "I guess she likes a lot of guys then. I just saw her eating the face of some big fella over there."​

​

HER: "She said she wants to make you jealous"etc. etc., or whatever they say here​

​

YOU: "It's middle school all over again. Listen, tell her if she wants something with me, she has to come talk to me. Doing this weird thing where she gossips about me then avoids me... not really sure what to do about that. I can't go club her over the head and drag her off or something."​

At that point she will either offer to help or you can just outright ask her to join forces with you and conspire to reunite this girl and you. Tell her she gets to play matchmaker... girls love this stuff. Especially if it's a guy they already approve of, which clearly this friend did with you.

tl;dr: turn the friend into an ally or just bang the friend herself. You've got some options on how to handle situations like this...

Chase

 

[HoofHearted]

I'm glad someone had frame of reference, because I didn't know what the fuck when i read this.

If a girl did that to me, I would just think greenlight and try to talk to her.

But i've never had anyone shout out across the bar that i've fucked their friend.

I've had bad, awkward sex though where the girl was crazy about me afterward. But that's just encouragement i guess

 

[weekendwarrior]

Thanks @Chase I really didn't want this chick, she was the size of a house and that’s being polite. It would have been fun getting some praise, I didn't think of saying I'm all alone now because I wanted to project that I'm not bothered, I have abundance.

This huge chick was with a friend, after this interaction it dawned on me, they were with "Crissy" the night we met, and I danced with them both. I tried dancing with the other one a few months ago but she didn't seem interested and couldn't move away fast enough.

Outside the club at the end of the night the other chick said "I'm not going to lie but you're hot as fuck" the huge chick then "tried" setting me up with her friend, asking if I lived alone and whether my parents would mind if I took her friend home. I said not at all, she told her friend she could go back with me, but she was totally oblivious to what had just transpired.

Long story short, I found out she lived a short drive away from me, I offered to take her home, I didn't close, she pre-emptively gave me her number and asked me to message when I got home. She seemingly had high interest, I soft closed to which she was very enthusiastic, I went for the hard close and got a wishy-washy date the following weekend, I told her I could be free on one of those days (I know you shouldn't give up your weekends) and she hasn't even read the message!

Warrior