- Joined
- Jan 28, 2013
- Messages
- 35
Before I get into the meat of this post, I guess I'll just cut to the chase (no pun intended). Last night I was out with the guys playing some pub trivia at a popular bar on Main St. When I came back from using the restroom shortly after the trivia game had ended, as people were filing out, my friends handed me a note and told me, "The girl who was sitting at the table over there left this here and told us to give it to you." The slip read, "You're cute! 
xxx-xxx-xxxx -Sam"
As I walked home, I pondered, "Why me? This never happens to me... But there's GOT to be an explanation! I must have done something right. What was it?" This led me to think deeply about how this must have happened to me... So I went home and jotted a few ideas down, and it all led back to one thing: ALWAYS paying attention to your self-presentation. (NOTE: if you're only interested in what I mean by self-presentation, skip the next 2 paragraphs)
If you're like me when I first started learning seduction a year ago (coinciding with when I began reading GC), you probably read a lot of the "How to ..." articles. And after each one you read, you thought to yourself, "Wow! This is great stuff. Time to read another one." But you eventually found yourself with an overload of great pick-up information but no girls to whom you could apply these newly "learned" skills. Then you realized the biggest obstacle between you and these girls was your mind. You were mentally building up any possible interaction, then fumbling or backing out when the time came, probably thinking to yourself, "What if she doesn't like me? What if she's not attracted to me? What makes me different from any other guy?"
This is where I was just one year ago. So how did I get past my mental block? Well, first, I realized that my brain only means well. It's simply looking out for what it thinks is best for me. It doesn't want me to get turned down, rejected or hurt, so it tries to avoid this all together by overriding your emotional senses and trying to get you to think logically and protect yourself. Then I thought, "Well, there are many other situations where my brain does this too, but I easily override it. Why can't I do the same with girls?" For example, your brain tells you that you shouldn't eat that Bic Mac meal because it's not healthy for you, but you do it anyway; it tells you not to speed because you might get a ticket, but you drive over the speed limit anyway. It's no different with girls. Your brain means best, but you have to simply learn to override it.
Now what does all that mumbo jumbo have to do with why that girl gave me her number? Well, once I was able to overcome approach anxiety, I began approaching girls left and right. I was becoming a great conversationalist. I was deep diving. I was chase framing. And results were really beginning to improve. But something seemed like it was still missing. I was left with the feeling that I still wasn't completely separating myself from "regular guys," based on my results. What was missing? It was then that I learned what I believe to be one of the most important things in seduction, which actually comes even before the approach: your self-presentation.
I used to have really long, scrappy hair and a long, ungroomed beard. I never dressed nice, at all. Somewhat baggy jeans, tennis shoes and a basic polo was dressing up in my mind. I put on deodorant probably once every 3 days and showered maybe 5 days a week. Brushing my teeth wasn't always a priority. You get the point. But when I realized the importance of self-presentation a few months ago, all of this changed.
Why did she feel the need to give me her number? It all boils down to several things to which I've been paying close attention in the past few months. So last night I sat down and jotted down everything I lump together in what I've dubbed "self-presentation":
You've probably heard the whole "always dress nice" or "always be sexy" stuff before. But last night I finally realized, there's more to your self-presentation than just looking nice or always being sexy. Really, they are all good advice; I just feel like they are all equally important, but doing just one at a time isn't enough, which is why I have grouped them all together in the term "self-presentation."
For me, I gradually shifted into the paradigm that maintaining your self-presentation was paramount. I didn't do it all at once. But slowly, I began to enjoy taking care of my body and looking good. These days I make it a priority. I schedule time into my day, each day, that's only assigned to making sure I've prepped myself such that I will present myself in a way that will make women really notice. If you start paying more attention to all of these small details, girls will notice, and it really turns them on.
And the best part? This requires absolutely NO "GAME" whatsoever. Just a little dedication. Heck, maybe you'll get women to start approaching YOU, and even handing out their numbers.
~ Cheers
xxx-xxx-xxxx -Sam" As I walked home, I pondered, "Why me? This never happens to me... But there's GOT to be an explanation! I must have done something right. What was it?" This led me to think deeply about how this must have happened to me... So I went home and jotted a few ideas down, and it all led back to one thing: ALWAYS paying attention to your self-presentation. (NOTE: if you're only interested in what I mean by self-presentation, skip the next 2 paragraphs)
If you're like me when I first started learning seduction a year ago (coinciding with when I began reading GC), you probably read a lot of the "How to ..." articles. And after each one you read, you thought to yourself, "Wow! This is great stuff. Time to read another one." But you eventually found yourself with an overload of great pick-up information but no girls to whom you could apply these newly "learned" skills. Then you realized the biggest obstacle between you and these girls was your mind. You were mentally building up any possible interaction, then fumbling or backing out when the time came, probably thinking to yourself, "What if she doesn't like me? What if she's not attracted to me? What makes me different from any other guy?"
This is where I was just one year ago. So how did I get past my mental block? Well, first, I realized that my brain only means well. It's simply looking out for what it thinks is best for me. It doesn't want me to get turned down, rejected or hurt, so it tries to avoid this all together by overriding your emotional senses and trying to get you to think logically and protect yourself. Then I thought, "Well, there are many other situations where my brain does this too, but I easily override it. Why can't I do the same with girls?" For example, your brain tells you that you shouldn't eat that Bic Mac meal because it's not healthy for you, but you do it anyway; it tells you not to speed because you might get a ticket, but you drive over the speed limit anyway. It's no different with girls. Your brain means best, but you have to simply learn to override it.
Now what does all that mumbo jumbo have to do with why that girl gave me her number? Well, once I was able to overcome approach anxiety, I began approaching girls left and right. I was becoming a great conversationalist. I was deep diving. I was chase framing. And results were really beginning to improve. But something seemed like it was still missing. I was left with the feeling that I still wasn't completely separating myself from "regular guys," based on my results. What was missing? It was then that I learned what I believe to be one of the most important things in seduction, which actually comes even before the approach: your self-presentation.
I used to have really long, scrappy hair and a long, ungroomed beard. I never dressed nice, at all. Somewhat baggy jeans, tennis shoes and a basic polo was dressing up in my mind. I put on deodorant probably once every 3 days and showered maybe 5 days a week. Brushing my teeth wasn't always a priority. You get the point. But when I realized the importance of self-presentation a few months ago, all of this changed.
Why did she feel the need to give me her number? It all boils down to several things to which I've been paying close attention in the past few months. So last night I sat down and jotted down everything I lump together in what I've dubbed "self-presentation":
- Whenever you leave your house, dress nice. ALWAYS. Even if you're just going to the store real quickly to grab something. Always dressing nice will eventually become natural for you, and you will enjoy looking better than everyone else, everywhere you go. Your confidence will soar. Instead of spending that next paycheck on a new TV, consider taking a trip to the mall and upgrading your generic wardrobe.
- Maintain your hygiene. ALWAYS. That includes brushing your teeth/having fresh breath, keeping your facial hair groomed (whether you shave clean or have a trimmed beard), showering regularly, using facial wash regularly, and even using lotion if you have dry skin. You'll find that eventually, you'll feel weird going out anywhere without first making sure your beard looks nice, for example. Again, something most guys don't do.
- The way you smell is powerful. This is a simple one. Just don't over do it, please! (I want to tell that to sooo many people who ride the bus every day. "Dude, go easy on the Axe Spray!")
- Find a hairstyle that works for you, and do it. EVERY DAY. Spending those few extra dollars to go to a nicer salon is worth it. Also, I've found that I prefer guys to cut my hair over girls these days. And remember, to keep a schedule. Don't let it grow out for too long...
- Workout. Muscle tone is great. Obviously having muscle tone will set you apart. But it also makes you feel better about yourself. If you're skinny like me, dismiss the thought that you need big muscles. Notice I said muscle tone is important here, which is attainable for anybody. If you're further like me and the idea of lifting weights and having a gym membership just doesn't intrigue you much, consider at-home workout programs like BeachBody's Insanity - which I'm currently doing and highly recommend.
- Your facial expressions/body language say a lot about you. Most guys have a pretty stoic facial expression, walk fast with no grace or swagger and have terrible posture. Imagine if the Victoria's Secret girls walked on the runway with a flat facial expression, didn't sway their hips and slouched as they walked. Nobody would watch because half their sex appeal would be gone. Work on slowing yourself down, loosening up your facial muscles and paying more attention to your posture. Watch yourself in the mirror, record some of your conversations on your phone, etc. Eventually having a sexy look on your face and a sexy walk/voice will become second nature. Chase also talks a lot about this.
You've probably heard the whole "always dress nice" or "always be sexy" stuff before. But last night I finally realized, there's more to your self-presentation than just looking nice or always being sexy. Really, they are all good advice; I just feel like they are all equally important, but doing just one at a time isn't enough, which is why I have grouped them all together in the term "self-presentation."
For me, I gradually shifted into the paradigm that maintaining your self-presentation was paramount. I didn't do it all at once. But slowly, I began to enjoy taking care of my body and looking good. These days I make it a priority. I schedule time into my day, each day, that's only assigned to making sure I've prepped myself such that I will present myself in a way that will make women really notice. If you start paying more attention to all of these small details, girls will notice, and it really turns them on.
And the best part? This requires absolutely NO "GAME" whatsoever. Just a little dedication. Heck, maybe you'll get women to start approaching YOU, and even handing out their numbers.
~ Cheers
