You're not supposed to learn GAME!

[MisterX]

I just read yesterdays post "Anatomy of a Failed Date"

And I'm thinking one big thing that new guys don't seem do understand(some of my friends) is that you're not supposed to learn game.

Girls aren't attracted to the guy who's learning how to seduce her and how to be sexy, the guy using routines and trying to remember what was next. They're attracted to the guy who's actually liked by other women, who is sexy and sexual, not learning or pretending to be.

Just as an example, imagine you needed life saving operation that determines if you live or die, would you want an experienced surgeon or some medical student who's trying to learn how to save a live, or a guy who's pretending to be a surgeon but is actually an accountant.
Would you feel more comfortable placing your life in the hands of the first guy?


And you forget that attraction is not logical or conscious - it's a primal instinct, that is out of a girls control. She can't just think to her self "hmmm this guy is learning how to seduce women and even though I'm not attracted to him now, I'll sleep with him because he will learn and become a better seducer and turn me on in a couple of years".



Girls don't want the guy who's learning it, they want the guy who already is it and has it.

it's not like anything else in life: school, work, sports, music, art, etc - there you are supposed to learn the skill. Imagine a university/college where you'd get thrown out the first week because you're not at the level of a graduate before you even get in. Or a job as an accountant you won't get because you're not qualified to be at the top of the company and running it as CEO - most have internships, seminars, you start at the bottom and work your way up.
And this is the way it works with women - no girl would start dating you and start teaching you how to become attractive to her.

That's why attraction is not forgiving and you may have a girl crazy about you and her turning completely cold and uninterested a couple of minutes later. She's not thinking that you're simply learning and this was a simple mistake that you can fix and become better. You're either attractive to her or not.

It's kinda like Chase has said that when approaching a girl you shouldn't worry about your body, clothes, game during an approach - you can't do nothing about it now. It doesn't matter if you've started working out if you're fat while approaching she won't care that you might have a great body a year from now.
Or if you're game is bad - it's bad, she won't care if you're going to become the greatest seducer. Right now you're not and she is not attracted.

You must be the guy she goes crazy with lust for, when approaching not hoping to be that guy after you've slept with her.



I just wanted to give my 2 cents.

X

 

[Mr.Rob]

I don't get what your getting at X.

Are you saying that there's not point in learning game because your not going to get laid anyway, in the now at least.

Or are you saying that you just need not resist the fact that your going to fail a lot when your still in shtick mode and learning game?

I'm confused at why you wrote all this and am curious to what your getting at exactly!

Peace homie.

-Rob

 

[MisterX]

I don't get what your getting at X.

Are you saying that there's not point in learning game because your not going to get laid anyway, in the now at least.

Or are you saying that you just need not resist the fact that your going to fail a lot when your still in shtick mode and learning game?

I'm confused at why you wrote all this and am curious to what your getting at exactly!

Peace homie.

-Rob

I'm saying why one little mistake will cost you the girl and that you must make everything seem like you've been like that as long as you remember. So that no-one can tell you learned how to pick up girls.

I have a friend who always goes around telling people how he's learned how to pick up girls and how he knows all these techniques.

 

[Franco]

X,

I'm saying why one little mistake will cost you the girl and that you must make everything seem like you've been like that as long as you remember. So that no-one can tell you learned how to pick up girls.

I have a friend who always goes around telling people how he's learned how to pick up girls and how he knows all these techniques.

Based on your response here, I think the title was a bit misleading.

While seduction is indeed a "skill," it still has plenty of unique attributes that don't make it the same as other skills that you learn. Part of the actual "skill" in seduction is learning to become a guy who APPEARS like he isn't using any skills -- he simply just does things that appear to make him naturally good with women. But guys are not naturally good with women by default. They develop their skill through approaching, talking, and failing with women until they've garnered enough experience to know what works and what doesn't.

When a guy truly has enough "skill" in seduction, he APPEARS natural, because that's what the skill is actually all about: to become naturally good with women. So in that sense, when you see a guy who's really good with women, you don't think "wow, that guy has great genes and is lucky to be so naturally good with women." Instead, you should be thinking, "wow, that guy is so good with women; he must have really spent a lot of time around them honing his skill and making himself look so naturally good."

This is the same way the student of a surgeon sees an actual surgeon. He says to himself, "wow, that surgeon must have really perfected his skill to be as good as he is now. He looks so naturally good at performing surgery." So in essence, you can say that most "skill" that is learned can make you appear like you don't have to use any skill at all -- everything just looks natural and flows as if you were born with the ability to do it.

- Franco

 

[Estate]

MisterX,
I'm not getting where you are going with this? Are you saying not to learn AT ALL? Or are you saying that it can't be done.... like you can't approach girls until you are a master but you can't master until you approach, so it's a catch 22 and we all give up?

I think the article was a good one. Heck, I've seen parts of some old dates I've gone on in there. But you learn and adapt and improve. How else can you really do it?

But yeah, I mean, the guy obviously learned some "games" or techiques but hasn't figured out the flow of it really, he was just throwing things at the wall until they begin to stick. Of course there's a flaw there... when he's running a routine, he *might* seem amazing but then it goes back to regular conversation and all of a sudden, he's no longer the same guy without the prepared material.
You just keep going until it all becomes more fluid, the date has a solid direction and you aren't really using material but know how to make a good date.

 

[trashKENNUT]

MisterX,

Hey man, i actually noted this. Marty, you and myself have this occasional problem on approaching girls without look to approach. I noted to Chase on this. Don't worry, let's hope this topic in the article list will be out soon. IT will help.



Zac

 

[Chase]

Fellas-

I believe the point MisterX is making is that you're not "supposed" to learn (according to society) game, you're just supposed to have it.

He's talking about the fact that people mostly judge you on who you are right now, and they don't see or put faith in what you MAY become in the future.

You might start playing tennis at 16 and play it so religiously every day that eventually you go pro and make a lot of money. But that's not going to stop you from taking a bunch of licks when you first start out and you're crap and everyone else who has already been playing for years thinks you're hopeless since they're so far ahead of you RIGHT NOW and you'll likely never catch up to them (they imagine).

He's also talking about how this is part of why women are so stingy with second chances - they're not including in the quick mental math they do on you that you're continually upgrading yourself (and that's actually pretty fair of them, because most guys aren't, and most guys who say they are going to don't, and there's really no way they can tell that you're the 1 guy out of a 100 who might say it and then will actually follow through on it; lots of people say lots of things they never go on to do). They want the guy who's proven attractive to women (who displays this by attracting them and guiding them effortlessly through the seduction), not the guy who maybe might be in the future sometime perhaps.

I don't see any message either way in X's post about "here's what you should/shouldn't do." He's just talking about how society and other women view you as a beginner vs. you as a veteran.

Chase

 

[trashKENNUT]

on a sidenote

I know people tend to make people work harder for them when they get rejected or seemingly ignored for the first time, It seems to me like you can get sex from the girl once you are deem a success.

It's like you have the power, once you have a certain success and she deems you one. and that she's doing the chasing now. Using her for sex and walking away. It's a trade off that some people might think it's "bad".

my thoughts.

Zac

 

[MisterX]

Fellas-

I believe the point MisterX is making is that you're not "supposed" to learn (according to society) game, you're just supposed to have it.

He's talking about the fact that people mostly judge you on who you are right now, and they don't see or put faith in what you MAY become in the future.

You might start playing tennis at 16 and play it so religiously every day that eventually you go pro and make a lot of money. But that's not going to stop you from taking a bunch of licks when you first start out and you're crap and everyone else who has already been playing for years thinks you're hopeless since they're so far ahead of you RIGHT NOW and you'll likely never catch up to them (they imagine).

He's also talking about how this is part of why women are so stingy with second chances - they're not including in the quick mental math they do on you that you're continually upgrading yourself (and that's actually pretty fair of them, because most guys aren't, and most guys who say they are going to don't, and there's really no way they can tell that you're the 1 guy out of a 100 who might say it and then will actually follow through on it; lots of people say lots of things they never go on to do). They want the guy who's proven attractive to women (who displays this by attracting them and guiding them effortlessly through the seduction), not the guy who maybe might be in the future sometime perhaps.

I don't see any message either way in X's post about "here's what you should/shouldn't do." He's just talking about how society and other women view you as a beginner vs. you as a veteran.

Chase

That's exactly my point. That people and girl judge you based on what you are now and not what you can become.

I wrote this because I notices that a lot of people have a wrong view of themselves. When they evaluate themselves they put into account what their potential is and what they can accomplish.

Not what they are now and what they have actually accomplished.


I remember reading an article by some guy as to why women can't get the caliber of man they should get. And the main point was that women and men over-value themselves because they look through "what I can/might accomplish some day" glasses.

For an example you are a 4 right now (I hate the attractiveness scale but It's needed here) but you've started reading GC, you started working out very seriously, you started reading about male fashion, you started a company. In a year of few years you'll be fit and have amazing body, you will have great game and fundamentals, you will be rich and successful BUT right now you're a fat guy with no game no money.

You might become a 9-10 in a few years but now you're a 4. And the thing the guy meant was that most people see what they can become and add that to the evaluation of themselves.

So you know you'll become sexy and attractive but you're not right now.


You must remember that - people will judge you based on what/who you are the moment you meet, now what you MIGHT become in time.


It was kinda sad that Chase was one of only guys who got my message. The others saw it as some angry guy who was telling that you'll "never get laid".

 

[Joy]

Ok... so if you're not supposed to learn game in order to get girls (or, continuing the medicine metaphor, not go to medical school to become a doctor) what do you suggest we do, magically become the men we desire to be with pixie dust and a little luck?

Ok, so girls want guys who have their shit together, I get that. Ok so they may not get charmed by the guy who's a novice, I get that. But what should the guy do?

I get what you're trying to say though. I think your core message is for guys to stop trying too hard and instead live in the moment and live with the punches.

 

[MisterX]

Ok... so if you're not supposed to learn game in order to get girls (or, continuing the medicine metaphor, not go to medical school to become a doctor) what do you suggest we do, magically become the men we desire to be with pixie dust and a little luck?

Ok, so girls want guys who have their shit together, I get that. Ok so they may not get charmed by the guy who's a novice, I get that. But what should the guy do?

I get what you're trying to say though. I think your core message is for guys to stop trying too hard and instead live in the moment and live with the punches.

Fellas-

I believe the point MisterX is making is that you're not "supposed" to learn (according to society) game, you're just supposed to have it.

He's talking about the fact that people mostly judge you on who you are right now, and they don't see or put faith in what you MAY become in the future.

You might start playing tennis at 16 and play it so religiously every day that eventually you go pro and make a lot of money. But that's not going to stop you from taking a bunch of licks when you first start out and you're crap and everyone else who has already been playing for years thinks you're hopeless since they're so far ahead of you RIGHT NOW and you'll likely never catch up to them (they imagine).

He's also talking about how this is part of why women are so stingy with second chances - they're not including in the quick mental math they do on you that you're continually upgrading yourself (and that's actually pretty fair of them, because most guys aren't, and most guys who say they are going to don't, and there's really no way they can tell that you're the 1 guy out of a 100 who might say it and then will actually follow through on it; lots of people say lots of things they never go on to do). They want the guy who's proven attractive to women (who displays this by attracting them and guiding them effortlessly through the seduction), not the guy who maybe might be in the future sometime perhaps.

I don't see any message either way in X's post about "here's what you should/shouldn't do." He's just talking about how society and other women view you as a beginner vs. you as a veteran.

Chase

X