Manhattan Solo DG

bkw said:

Notes on numbers flaking:

To get more solid numbers, you need to get numbers from girls who WANT to see you again or who are interested. Otherwise, you'll be forcing numbers on girls who aren't interested and who are far more likely to flake via texts.

Sometimes gauging whether a girl is interested or not can be challenging if she is not giving many signs, but one way to tell if the girl is interested is to see if she has "hooked" or has reached a "hook point" during conversation.

Ways you can tell a girl has reached a hook point:

1. She's planted and not going anywhere, even when there are pauses in the interaction.

2. She is asking you questions to keep the conversation going and to find out more about you—she's trying to build a connection with you.

3. Any IOIs like deep eye contact, crossing her legs, playing with her hair, initiating touch, etc. (see *Street Hustle*, pg. 120).

Knowing this, it might be a good idea to track on an Excel sheet which girls have hooked and which girls did not hook during your daygame sessions. This way, you can understand which numbers are more or less likely to flake via texting.

Also, it may be good practice to persist if the girl looks like she wants to leave and attempt the number close anyway. However, you need to be aware that the number will likely flake, so you should expect this.

Additionally, when going for the number close, don't suggest coffee—suggest drinks (beer/wine, etc.). If she agrees to coffee and you instead do a date invite via text for beer/wine, then she might be more resistant to the drink invite since she initially agreed to coffee. It just makes things easier on you, and it's what you truly want to do anyway.

When you go for the number close, just be upfront and honest so she knows what you want and it's agreed upon: "Well, I gotta go, and you gotta go, but I think you're pretty and I'd like to invite you out for drinks sometime. Is this something you might be interested in?" If she says yes, then take her number. If she says no, then you can say, "OK. Well, I'll send you a text, and if you change your mind, we can meet up. If not, no worries."

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I'm not sure there are any rules for what to do to prevent flaking. It's a part if daygame, and there is nobody who doesn't get flaked on. I once asked a girl after i got her number if she was going to respond to my text. She said she had to think about it after she left and she would decide later if it made sense. Some girls (more than you think) are in relationships and won't cheat just because some random dude stops here on the street.

How to overcome AA and improve your approach-count with daygame:

I just want to write this down for record-sake purposes.

So, after I did 50 approaches a couple of weeks ago, I did 30 approaches the week after, and then I basically took a week off, mainly because the lack of results made me want to pause a little bit, and I felt like I lost purpose. Leading up to the 50 approach week, I had spent a couple of months just building up my desensitization and momentum, to the point where I literally did not feel any anxiety and didn't care about any one approach at all.

After the week off, I went back out, and I had apathy and started to feel AA again. This is mainly the point of this entry: I want to share how important momentum is. It's crazy how you can spend months building it up to where approaching is the easiest thing in the world; an afterthought, and then you take a week off, and it's challenging again.

So for those of you still struggling with AA and approach counts, the absolute best thing you can do is go out every day and approach more and more every day, and before you know it your AA will be gone and your momentum and desensitization will be in a place where approaching women is like going to the local store, easy.

Beyond that, I'll keep going out, but I'm going to transition more into a lifestyle thing and, while I understand I have to be consistent, I'm not going to try and put all my focus on it. This will allow me to go long-term without getting too invested. I also am likely not to report anything here unless some major improvements happen, which I don't think it'll happen for a while, if it does. The one doubt I have is that I am not sure if it's my "game" or my age and getting older that feels like things are harder and more flakes are happening. It's a legitimate question. But I feel daygame, especially in a city like NYC, is still one of the best options if I am to date the type of girls I want. This thread likely won't see much action unless I start getting consistent dates again, but I'm currently building up my momentum lost and working on my DG schedule for the long-haul.

Not your age (I am older than you). To work on your game, I recommend posting on the forum with some of your attempts to get good advice on your game.

Love this journal!

OldGuy said:

Not your age (I am older than you). To work on your game, I recommend posting on the forum with some of your attempts to get good advice on your game.

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Thanks man. In a lot of ways, it'd be nice to get some inspiration from older guys.

Ugh, you're right. Probably a good idea is to post precise interactions I'm having. I bought a cheap digital camera I plan on wearing around my neck and recording infields (makes it look like I'm just doing photography this way without buying a stealth cam). Unfortunately, my momentum is shit again, so I need a week or two to build that back up before I want to record anything.

Forum advice is iffy sometimes, but I'm experienced enough to know what advice is worthwhile and which is not really (I say that humbly). This forum has some solid advice from some people. I perhaps need to move my ego aside and just do it. Give me a week or two, and I likely will.

Update:

Alright, fuck it, I've been pussy-footing around lately. I'll start posting some of my daygame approaches again, for momentum-sake purposes. My momentum is shot at the moment, so maybe a few approaches here or there until I get it ramped up again.

I got my schedule where I want it, so I should be able to follow through. I'll post soon.

5/26/25 - 5/31/25:

This week mainly was me attempting to get back into it after 2 weeks off basically and to build a little momentum, as well as trying to find my footing within my new schedule. A lot of the days I was not out very long.

Monday (5/26):
The goal was to "go out and get a feel for the street again". No motivation to approach. Didn't push anything.

Tuesday (5/27):
Didn't have a goal today. Felt like I could easily approach, but not emotionally interested enough.

Wednesday (5/28):
didn't go out

Thursday (5/29):
Didn't see much I was interested in. Feeling apathy.

Friday (5/30):
Approach 2. One girl didn't want to chat in store; second, BF deflection

Saturday (5/31):
didn't approach anyone

Sunday (6/1):
didn't go out because had a lot of personal stuff going on last couple days, sleep in too late

Total:
2 approaches
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As you can see, momentum and interest was not there. Spent days just waking around, not really that motivated or interested. I guess I use these days as excuses to see if I can leverage it to build some emotional momentum. Eventually, I realize I just need to approach.

If I can be on top of my schedule, this week I should do a lot more. Posting here does help with that, until I gather enough momentum. Going to keep posting weekly for a bit.

Also, been going to the gym again 5xs a week. My schedule is booked, which is why I keep bringing it up, but I made DG a priority nonetheless.

Update:

It's a cycle I've seen pretty much my whole dating life: Strong phases of pursuit, then even longer phases of apathy and disconnection from dating. Same cycle. And likely the same cycle will continue. But here I am, again, nonetheless...

Alright, come on dude, let's get some shit going again. Maybe this thread will give me the right momentum and accountability again...

OK. So, I'm going to write here per daygame session again.

Today I'm not going out. Tomorrow the sessions begin again, and this journal will see some entries again. Results don't matter. Action matters. I'm not going to focus on other peoples' journals much because I don't want to compare myself. This will be purely authentic and self-indulgent, without comparing (AKA I don't expect much tbh)

7/2/2025 - Approach 2; 1# close - DG

I haven't done any approaches since I last posted about it. Good news is, I don't feel any kind of hard AA or excuses, which I guess is kind of surprising considering the lack of action I've been in lately.

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Quickly, here are the approaches:

1. Asian girl who said she was in her 30s, which was really surprisingly because she legit looked early 20s, even face-to-face. This is yet another example of how perception considering age is often wrong (I've noticed this a lot for me). Anyway, she went into a tiny and crowded smoke shop before I was about to approach, so I waited outside for her to come out, then I approached. Typical conversation. Invited her out for coffee. Took her number.

2. Russian woman. She was nice, but didn't really seem interested in talking.

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Alright, so, this is what I really want to talk about:

I'm going to go about my daygame differently now--not so much in how I do daygame, but how I invest into it. For example, before I would keep stats on everything, and this likely kept me more invested into the process than I would like to be. The problem with this type of investment is that it gets you emotionally invested--it's good for motivation, but it wears you out, and when you are so invested into the process, the lack of results, or the "failures" are hefty, and you end up paying a toll for it--you can pretty much say the same thing in all of dating, in that, the more you're invested, the harder you fall when shit hits the fan. Therefore, what I am aiming for now is less investment overall. This will aid me in being consistent in the long-run as well.

The only thing I am going to invest in is my input as far as going out and approaching. This is needed. But I'm not going to micromanage the process or the results. In fact, ideally, I just want to do my approaches and then whatever happens, happens, and just the mere fact of going out and doing my approaches is good enough. Problem is, I ALWAYS end up getting more and more invested and wanting to control the outcome, which ultimately is not good for me personally.

Results don't matter. And it seems like something you never want anyone in the pickup community to say, but I truly believe at my experience level, I understand certain things are out of my control (really). And trying to control these things is a waste of energy and investment.

Anyway, I probably didn't put into words exactly what I wanted to say, but this is pretty close.

For me, right now, pickup/dating is more about feeling more connected with society and less being in my head. As an introvert, it's too easy for me to seclude myself. Dating/pickup gives me an opportunity to feel less alienated and more connected with the outside world. It kind of keeps me balanced IF I do not try to invest too heavily in it or depend too much on the results. This is the fine line I'm trying to walk. I am not focusing on the results, because, honestly, a lot of it is out of my control if I'm doing my part. I won't be keeping stats, only the amount of approaches I do per outing and the amount of times I'm going out per week. This keeps me accountable, but I'm not going to try to improve because the kind of person I am, how I communicate and feel, I sincerely feel much of the results are out of my hands and more into the decision of the girls I approach, so I won't fret on those things for now.

I'm going to keep a weekly journal here on my approaches week by week, so I guess I'll track daily approaches and outings, but I won't track the "results" that come from that unless I write about it here.

AspiringStoic said:

Great to see another member on the forums doing daygame and posting reports. Look forward to regularly reading about your adventures.

Just on the numbers thing, I must say I have never had anything workout when the onus was on the girl to text and make the first move. I think 99.99 percent of time they will never text you first.

And its not because they dont like you, but a girl texting and making the first move to them is like saying "I want to get fucked". And even if they want to, they would not say it out loud and therefore I dont think they will make that first move.

I am not saying its impossible but just the odds are very very low. So I think its always best to get the contact and make that first move.

But I think thats not the main focus at the moment. You are just looking to get back to approaching, so great job on getting in the approaches. Look forward to hearing more.

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What women like to do is make themselves approachable. Looking sexy. Being in a cool area. Giving you attention when you acknowledge them.