How do you guys have fun?

I have hard time just having fun.

Most of the time it feels like a waste of time. Though I enjoy it in the moment.

Also, there are not a lot of things I find fun.

I wonder how people just find working on something fun or watching a sports fun.


Or actively improving on things fun.


What am I missing?

I feel anything that is not moving me towards laying a girl is waste of time Or improving me career wise or building my body.

Other people find me fun because I worked on my sense of humour etc. but that’s a cultivated persona at most I guess.


Also, what is your philosophy on fun?
How do you make time for it etc

I can relate to a certain extent. I have to have a purpose for anything I do.
So even things like drinking with friends to get wasted, not my thing.

What I do enjoy is when I can have a fun for purpose.

For example, I want a classy girl -> I go to a high class venue ->I have fun -> It attracts good vibes -> I get a classy girl knows how to have fun.

I want to learn social skills - I go to the club and socialize - One of the concepts I know is if a group is having fun, I have to add more fun to get in - etc.

If I can rationalize having fun w/ a goal of mine, I can have fun.

empath said:

I have hard time just having fun.

Most of the time it feels like a waste of time. Though I enjoy it in the moment.

Also, there are not a lot of things I find fun.

I wonder how people just find working on something fun or watching a sports fun.


Or actively improving on things fun.


What am I missing?

I feel anything that is not moving me towards laying a girl is waste of time Or improving me career wise or building my body.

Other people find me fun because I worked on my sense of humour etc. but that’s a cultivated persona at most I guess.


Also, what is your philosophy on fun?
How do you make time for it etc

Click to expand...

Starting to feel the same way in which I feel like times wasted if not achieving the same things you listed. I have a ton of friends who just want to chill and kill time at their apartment on a weekend night instead of going out and trying to get laid. These are the same pals that complain about not having girls/ a girlfriend.
I don’t know if it’s a gen Z thing, but many man are comfortable just hanging out in sausage feats with other men on a day or evening off. They talk about women with no intentions of putting effort into meeting one.

Rinse. Repeat

I’m at point now where the majority of the time, if one of my pals wants to hang out with no intention of going out talking to girls, I just decline the hang out.

David223 said:

Starting to feel the same way in which I feel like times wasted if not achieving the same things you listed. I have a ton of friends who just want to chill and kill time at their apartment on a weekend night instead of going out and trying to get laid. These are the same pals that complain about not having girls/ a girlfriend.
I don’t know if it’s a gen Z thing, but many man are comfortable just hanging out in sausage feats with other men on a day or evening off. They talk about women with no intentions of putting effort into meeting one.

Rinse. Repeat

I’m at point now where the majority of the time, if one of my pals wants to hang out with no intention of going out talking to girls, I just decline the hang out.

Click to expand...

I get you.

but just chilling is the point tbh.

just have fun … have outings for the fun of it not getting laid.

now the question is how you do it.

Are you saying you find nothing fun except pickup, working out and making money?

I have a hard time relating to that. What about reading a good book, listening to music, admiring art, playing a game... don't you enjoy any of those?

empath said:

I get you.

but just chilling is the point tbh.

just have fun … have outings for the fun of it not getting laid.

now the question is how you do it.

Click to expand...

I still have days where I do hang out with friends just to chill, but it’s probably only 2-3 days out the month. I think if you use it as a way to decompress from juggling with sex life, career and health that’s cool. Most use it as a continuous escape from those responsibilities and don’t develop those skills and life experiences.

If none of you and close friends are getting laid on a normal basis, hanging out every other day and being unproductive is a huge waste of your prime as a man. It’s sweeter spending time with your boys when it’s less frequent and y’all are all coming back with new stories of your personal journey.

David223 said:

Starting to feel the same way in which I feel like times wasted if not achieving the same things you listed. I have a ton of friends who just want to chill and kill time at their apartment on a weekend night instead of going out and trying to get laid. These are the same pals that complain about not having girls/ a girlfriend.
I don’t know if it’s a gen Z thing, but many man are comfortable just hanging out in sausage feats with other men on a day or evening off. They talk about women with no intentions of putting effort into meeting one.

Rinse. Repeat

I’m at point now where the majority of the time, if one of my pals wants to hang out with no intention of going out talking to girls, I just decline the hang out.

Click to expand...

Feel the same way haha

One of my friends hosted a "rager" with 3 women(one taken, one was kinda cute, one was actually attractive), and close to 10 dudes.

I threw out going to the bars a few times, people seemed interested but no one bought in, meanwhile some of the dudes were legit just trying it on the one attractive girl(SPOILER ALERT: DIDN'T WORK). Very hard to actually escalate and build a seductive vibe.

gameboy said:

Are you saying you find nothing fun except pickup, working out and making money?

I have a hard time relating to that. What about reading a good book, listening to music, admiring art, playing a game... don't you enjoy any of those?

Click to expand...

Well I used to enjoy playing games and I can enjoy it too but then after sometimes I start to feel guilty. Or like I don’t find a reason to improve myself in the game itself while my friends playing that game will try to improve.

reading was a huge hobby back then but not now.

I can enjoy watching a series or two or anime but again somehow end up feeling bad

Lastly, just sitting in a group and enjoying the vibe has never been my thing like even if I am sitting in a group I want we do something play a game or something just don’t sit and talk

empath said:

Also, what is your philosophy on fun?
How do you make time for it etc

Click to expand...

Ok, so this is going to be a very weird response.
Because you for example mentioned the lay itself was the goal.
I have a bad newsflash for you.
The lay itself is also not going to be satisfying you longterm. but sure, shortterm it is going to be good for you because you are human and biology and stuff.

In the end what truly can be fun is when you actually feel energetic and happy in the moment about what you are doing. This happiness often is the result of dopamin kicks.
Can you get them from everything? Yes when you are desensitized or healthy processing through everything.
No when your rewardsystem has gotten such good gratification from a certain source that you have keyed yourself too.

So the question, in my eyes, is not: how do you have fun. but rather; where do you want to get your fun from..
From an analytical point of view the answer is: search for what gives you the best outcomes long-term, and that arises from your long-term goals.

But to figure out your long-term goals. you need to work on figuring out yourself first. Figure out what you want out of life.
Yep gave you a very hard task, but you will figure something out, have fun on the road towards it by leaving the outcome dependence on those things that are less serious.
At some point you will either leave that goal or work towards another goal.

The reason you feel demotivated in having fun is because a lay in itself is not likely to be a very satisfying goal on the longterm and what you are working towards is some kind of 'fun', while the process itself is supposed to be fun. (Hmmmmmm I should take my own advice)

dont know whether i still make sense to you.