#1 shopping opener

[StrayDog]

Thought I'd share my #1 opener when shopping. It's so simple, and the opportunity so common I rarely need another opener.

Basically, you see a babe standing in front of a shelf/rack considering some items, you approach and open with

"I can tell you are putting a lot of thought into this decision."

Granted your fundamentals are decent you will always be met warmly. Often with a laugh.

Now, obviously you have to follow this opener up to generate conversational momentum. But you can definitely consider the ice broken at this point.

Here are some simple follow ups

-Highlight how important the decision she is making truly is

"picking the right cheese can really make or break a picnic"

"its amazing how the wrong socks can throw off you off. Have you walking you walking funny all day

-Comment on the items she is considering

"This pattern is incredible. You would definitely catch glances wearing that one"

"This color definitely works on you" (holding short up to her arm/hand)(can also ask for her to hold her hand out like "here let me see, hold your hand out real quick")

- Ask her how her day is going (usually best after you have had a couple small conversational beats first but can definitely keep the ball rolling)


-Tease her about how focused she is

"I'm actually kind of concerned for you, this is clearly weighing on you."

"the focus is actually impressive, I bet that's a good skill in other parts of your life"

-Go slightly direct

"You seemed interesting, I just wanted to meet you really quick"

"what is we took a moment to meet eachother?"

-Go a little more direct

"you were totally reminding me of a former lover, you have a very different vibe now that we're talking but it was kind of tripping me out for a moment" (this is my fave for injecting a bit of flirt into things. best used earlier in the convo but can be used right off the bat or a few solid beats into the convo to switch gears)

There will be ample opportunities to bring up many different subjects or get compliance, or reality pace, and all that but it all starts with "I can tell you're putting a lot of though into this decision" and you really don't have to think of anything else to open with when you see the approach opportunity.

Remember that starting a conversation can be a bit like starting a lawn mower so you might have to throw out a few things before it really gets started. You can throw out any of the examples I provided one after the other if you need to, and will probably have other ideas that crop up on the fly as well.

Also, remember that how you approach is key. Don't just b-line it towards her. Saunter in her direction looking around as though you are just going about your day. Don't look at her or acknowledge het presence until you are in a solid position to open. Let her see you first, and open from an angle that feels comfortable and natural. Sometimes when her back is slightly turned towards you this means walking past her and then planting yourself at a more proper angle.

Some bonus openers

-If she is standing at shelf/rack looking at her phone a good variation

"you know it's an import purchase when you have to consult Some one else"

-If she is crouched looked at a lower shelf

"you know it's important decision when you gotta get low like that" (make sure there is enough distance when you open her so you are not just looming above her)

-A silly and fun opener when she is looking at some items

"definitely go with the tasty one"

"go with the stylish one, it's way better"

"definitely go with the cozy one"

these are funny because they are so general and obvious. Like of course pick the tasty one. "I mean, you could always not go with the tasty one, but that doesn't seem like your style"

That's all for today boys. Now get out there and open literally any women who is shopping.


Edit: just want to note that opportunities for this approach aren't as ubiquitous in shopping malls, where things are a bit more hustle and bustle. You might find the opportunity in individual stores but things are still more fast paced and women are usually out in groups.

You will find this situation more in grocery stores, box stores, consignment stores, low key shopping centers, individual clothing stores, and so on.

 

[DarkKnight]

Nice, will use I tend to use similar situational openers

 

[StrayDog]

Nice, will use I tend to use similar situational openers

Right on dude. I think you will be pleased. Let me know what sort of results you get

 

[Marty]

Remember that starting a conversation can be a bit like starting a lawn mower so you might have to throw out a few things before it really gets started. You can throw out any of the examples I provided one after the other if you need to, and will probably have other ideas that crop up on the fly as well.

I love this. I tend to eject at the first sign of awkwardness, so I’ll keep this lawnmower analogy in mind to help me in future.

 

[JT Sunshine]

I am going to test this out at a grocery store I know of that is always full of cute girls. I've been trying to think of something to open with that's better than "Have you tried that before? Is it good?" These seem way more playful/fun.

Thank you!

 

[samanil]

Love it! One I've used a few times that seems to work ok is "So much cheese so little time, am I right?" said in a slightly playful tone like you're being obviously silly/playful. You could even leave off the "am I right" and then it could be a "ping" where you're half talking to the girl half talking to yourself, and wait to see how she reacts before fully engaging (if at all).

 

[StrayDog]

Love it! One I've used a few times that seems to work ok is "So much cheese so little time, am I right?" said in a slightly playful tone like you're being obviously silly/playful. You could even leave off the "am I right" and then it could be a "ping" where you're half talking to the girl half talking to yourself, and wait to see how she reacts before fully engaging (if at all).

another decent ping is "so many choices". I like to keep my pings concise, as being too verbose looks like I am trying to hard to get her attention. I basically make it appear as though I too am deliberating the items in the area. I say it as though I am kind of saying it to myself but also maybe to her (should she choose to engage). This doesn't always work smoothly though. Best used when you both have already been browsing the same area already. I want to it appear natural and not like I am half assing an open. So if it is too obvious that I am basically in the area just to get her attention, that sort of ping usually falls flat, and I would have been better off just approaching. Basically the more it is obvious I am just straight up approaching her, the more direct I have to be (unless there is a really keen situational opener)

That is the virtue of the " I can tell you are putting a lot of thought to this decision" opener, is that it works rather well for approaching from a distance. It is slightly more direct as it shows that I am noticing her, but it is still somewhat situational. You only barely have to appear as though you are browsing, but you can be walking through an isle without milling about. So if you see her all the way down an isle and go walking by her, you can then turn as you pass her and open. The key is appearing as though you were just "passing through" and happened to take notice of her

Another move, if you are walking past a bunch of rows of aisles and you see her all the way at the end of an aisle, is to go to the next isle over and go down it, then do a u-turn to the isle she is on. This way it appears as though you just happened to turn the corner and you two happen to cross paths. As opposed to you walking all the way down the aisle she is on, which can feel pretty obvious as an approach, and also be kind of awkward.

 

[samanil]

another decent ping is "so many choices". I like to keep my pings concise, as being too verbose looks like I am trying to hard to get her attention. I basically make it appear as though I too am deliberating the items in the area. I say it as though I am kind of saying it to myself but also maybe to her (should she choose to engage). This doesn't always work smoothly though. Best used when you both have already been browsing the same area already. I want to it appear natural and not like I am half assing an open. So if it is too obvious that I am basically in the area just to get her attention, that sort of ping usually falls flat, and I would have been better off just approaching. Basically the more it is obvious I am just straight up approaching her, the more direct I have to be (unless there is a really keen situational opener)

That is the virtue of the " I can tell you are putting a lot of thought to this decision" opener, is that it works rather well for approaching from a distance. It is slightly more direct as it shows that I am noticing her, but it is still somewhat situational. You only barely have to appear as though you are browsing, but you can be walking through an isle without milling about. So if you see her all the way down an isle and go walking by her, you can then turn as you pass her and open. The key is appearing as though you were just "passing through" and happened to take notice of her

Another move, if you are walking past a bunch of rows of aisles and you see her all the way at the end of an aisle, is to go to the next isle over and go down it, then do a u-turn to the isle she is on. This way it appears as though you just happened to turn the corner and you two happen to cross paths. As opposed to you walking all the way down the aisle she is on, which can feel pretty obvious as an approach, and also be kind of awkward.

Nice. I like the u turn technique.

Can't you just pretend to be browsing near her, and even grab something and put it in your cart, even if you are just there to chat her up?

Also, do you have a method for when you pass each other in the aisle? Like, she's walking straight towards you and you towards her.

 

[StrayDog]

Can't you just pretend to be browsing near her, and even grab something and put it in your cart, even if you are just there to chat her up?

I wouldn't. not unless I was genuinely shopping AND me doing so was setting myself up for a more advantageous approach angle. The thing is, opening really only counts for so much, so you might as well just hop to it when the opportunity presents itself. There is rarely much use in hanging around waiting to do it. If the timing/ angle aren't exactly right, I prefer to just loop back around from a different angle, or try to swing back down the aisle when the timing is better. Better than just hanging around waiting to approach, which makes it feel too forced/pre mediated. Not saying there isn't times where that might work, just hanging around her shopping, but always better to make the approach feel more spontaneous. That's why, if I see an attractive women and I don't have the best angle or timing, I usually try not to make my presence really known to her until I am ready to approach. Instead I will keep tabs at a distance (in a very inconspicuous manner), or even pass by the aisles for a bit (though not too many times or she might catch on). So, instead of appearing as though I am shopping right there next to her on the same aisle, I make it appear as though I am just shopping in the general vicinity. Sometimes you even got to loop around the whole entire section of a store to angle it right. Or wait until she has proceeded to a different aisle, at a better angle. All about the angle of approach.

Also, shopping cart, is great if I am really doing some shopping. But often times I am just picking up a few items. If I am using a shopping cart though, unless there just so happens to be great timing as I am pushing it around, I will simply park it somewhere before I make the approach. Kind of clunky to be lugging around. Especially when you gotta be adaptable to subtle nuances.

Also, do you have a method for when you pass each other in the aisle? Like, she's walking straight towards you and you towards her.

I haven't developed something specific, per se, for this sort of scenario. Where you are simply just walking past each other. In General though, I just make sure to use my walk and my presence and look out for if she is giving me approach invitations (like glances in my direction). The key is walking super casual, just slightly slower than you might normally. You want to appear very present and at ease. Slight smirk on my mouth, like I am content, and curious. I examine the aisles, but in a broad sense, scanning the whole area. Kind of look past her, but not directly at her. You will notice if you are catching her attention as you pass. Sometimes she might be distracted on her phone or something and you have to make the judgment call about how much you can land an approach on her, but generally I am sensing to see if she is picking up on my presence before I open.

I will either open with something situational (if the opportunity is there), or go a bit more direct with either a genuine compliment or something simple like "hey you seem chill, what's your name." Basically just have to think on your toes because these moments usually kind of spring up on you somewhat unexpected, and you just have to act.

Walking slowly helps with moments like this because it allows you to sink into the approach, where as when you are moving too fast the moment can just kind of slip by. So move at a pace that allows you to naturally ease into the interaction as she passes. I have often found that when I am moving in the manner I described above, and a women takes notice, she will kind of slow her pace as well, or even sop walking forward and decide to start examine the shelves nearby. Basically she is putting her self in a position where she is easily approached.

Also, sometimes the two of you just make eye contact, in this case you just go in and start talking to her normal like you already know her. Again, this is made much easier when you are walking at a smooth pace. In this scenario, where you are basically just looking straight at each other and slowly gravitating towards each other, you can just be like "Hey, how's your day?" or something super simple. Obviously you gotta build some conversational momentum from there, but the opener can be super simple.

In general, the less situational openers are available, and the more you are obviously there to approach her (as opposed to "meeting smooth", where it feels like you just bump into each other) the more direct you are going to have to be (even if it is just slightly direct) , otherwise your approach will feel forced (like come on, she knows why you are walking right towards her). That's exactly why something like a street stop you just have to be up front, since it is super obvious you are just there to get her attention, but when you just happen to be shopping on the same aisle you can ping with something super indirect like "so many choices." There is a whole spectrum in between though, and you just have to improvise.


One more note on pacing here. If I happen to see a girl examining a shelf and she is smack dab in the middle of the aisle. This means that I basically have to walk down a good distance from either end of the aisle. In this case I will often walk at a somewhat faster pace than the whole "slow walk" routine. I will make it appear as if I am "just passing through." I will not really pay mind to the girl and will often walk past her before I "start to notice her" and then I will open with the "I can tell you are putting lot of thought to this." Basically in this scenario you don't necessarily have the best angle of approach, so picking up the pace a bit makes it easier to close the distance but still have it feel casual, and not like you are just hanging around waiting to approach, or b-lining it straight towards her.

Now, in clothing departments you don't always have aisles, but instead you have racks, which afford more visibility from a distance. In cases where I am approaching a women, in the women's sections (at places like Target, and such). I don't really have a good reason to be in that section. So in that scenario I am probably doing to aim my angle of approach pretty much in her direction. Still not b lining it towards her, but once I have opened it will have been pretty clear that I walked over to talk to her, so I am not really trying to be covert about that. The key is to not b line it though, because if you are just gunning straight for her at a distance than she might notice and take flight before you can open.

In the end, the opener only matters so much, really what is important is what you do with her attention afterward.

 

[Freakester]

@StrayDog

Thanks for this opener man. I have been reading it again and again for the past few days trying to get a feel of what the vibe is when you open.

Do you open with a more funny, yet relaxed style like this: "Hey.. I KNOW you are putting a lot of effort into this." Like sort of how you joke around with your friends or you are going more indirect-direct style, injecting sexual undertones to it right away.