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10 things I don't understand about the dating game

FBJ

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 16, 2014
Messages
25
I don't understand none of the things below




1. Why everyone has to exaggerate their lifestyle during the getting to know process


2. Why women constantly ask me if I like my job when they first meet me


3. Why women only seem to text or call me when I disappear for a while


4. I'm not supposed to talk to a women I want to date the way I talk to my platonic female friends..............so what do I talk about?


5. I was told I don't have any GAME and I have no clue what the hell that is in the dating game


6. I don't know what it means when a woman says "tell me something good"


7. The question "what do you like to do for fun?" In my sparetime or on a date?


8. When a woman sends a text stating she may 10 or 15 mins late........."is it because she is wrapping up another date?


9. When a woman sends a text after a 1st date that says........."It was a pleasure meeting you".........Is that not Interest?


10. If a woman comes home after a date and views your online profile is that a good sign or bad sign?




These are the reasons why I am single because It's so much about the dating game that I just don't know.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
1. Why everyone has to exaggerate their lifestyle during the getting to know process
>>>> Getting a long term partner is important, especially for woman. She wants to select the best available option. While most men have quite simple requirements for woman (e.g. she has good looks, that is good enough) women usually have quite long list. They don't look for single characteristic or behavior in man, rather they assess the "whole package", they consider many things... Thus you want to "sell" yourself, meaning that you want her to have positive view on you. For simplicity, think about it as a car dealer - you want to hear all the good stuff about the car, you don't want to hear that it may break down after 10K miles. You also want to make sure that the car won't break down after 10K just because the car dealer say so...

2. Why women constantly ask me if I like my job when they first meet me
>>>> If she is looking for long term BF, does she want a guy who doesn't work, who has no income? Nope. She wants somebody who is financially stable, someone who has place to live, someone who can afford things...

3. Why women only seem to text or call me when I disappear for a while
>>>> What does it mean "while"? 2 days? 2 months? Either way, I would say that it is a good sign. She might be testing your patience. Say that you go for a date and there are good vibes, you seem to like her and she likes you. Many guys go home and they text or call her right away, maybe the same evening, or next day. The thing is, she may perceive him as being too needy, too clingy and too eager for the relationship. She might think that he can't wait because he is impatient. She may see the guy as not being too attractive because he has no other girls to go out with. On the other hand, a guy who waits several days is perceived differently. If there were good vibes she wonders whether he likes her or not. She may be thinking that the reason why he doesn't call is that he might be dating another girl(s). She may be thinking that he is not much interested in her. And, because she calls after several days, she is thinking about that guy - she is curious what he thinks about her, whether he likes her. She is interested becaues she is calling, and by making an effort to reach him she is investing into him. It is most likely against common sense, but it is all good, very good.

4. I'm not supposed to talk to a women I want to date the way I talk to my platonic female friends..............so what do I talk about?
>>>> Not sure how you talk to your platonic female friends... Anyway, you want to keep your emotions hidden. Say you like her a lot - but don't tell her that. Be careful, she may also test you, for example she can send you a text that she loves you. Unless you are sure that it is true, don't reply that you love her too, you may lose her. You ALWAYS want to look less emotionally engaged than she is. Keep your feelings for her to yourself, don't share them with her. Instead of feelings show her actions - take her to different places, don't just sit and talk at the table. She wants to experience different things. What to talk about? The best way is when you let her talk about herself, her life, her friends, what she likes and so on. She will try to get lots of information from you - tell her only minimum about yourself, always deflect the talk back on her. The less you tell her the better for you. Talk about anything but yourself - other people, other relationships, concerts, hobbies, events, music,...

5. I was told I don't have any GAME and I have no clue what the hell that is in the dating game
>>>> Yes. Game is popular today, you need at least some game. You should always make it seem like you are dating more women. Even better, you should be dating more women at the same time. Aim for 5. It may not make sense again, but in her eyes the more women you are dating the more attractive you are to her. Work on fundamentals. Have some plan for different actions, never make it seem that thinking about her consumes most of your time, never make it seem that she is the one you are thinking about all day long. Never...

6. I don't know what it means when a woman says "tell me something good"
>>>> It may just be a stupid question she memorized because she reads magazines about dating, but it doesn't have to.... What are you actually telling her? You might be too pessimistic, too negative. She is looking for long term partner thus she wants some excitement, some fun. I'm not saying that you should change your personality, but you should be careful how you are expressing yourself. You want to look optimistic, positive, fun. Like a guy who likes his life, guy who is motivated, ambitious to achieve something. Guy who cares about his life.

7. The question "what do you like to do for fun?" In my spare time or on a date?
>>>> The same, it could be memorized question, or you may appear too passive, too negative. Have plan what to say for next time, and have plan to do stuff with her. Again, she wants to experience things, not just talk about them. Take her to different places, food, trips, parks, zoo, swimming, exercising, movies... You don't want to appear that you sit home and just watch porn, TV or play stupid games... You want to appear like you are living your life. No, you should be living your life...

8. When a woman sends a text stating she may 10 or 15 mins late........."is it because she is wrapping up another date?
>>>> Most likely not. It is good when she lets you know ahead, and even better if she actually shows up.

9. When a woman sends a text after a 1st date that says........."It was a pleasure meeting you".........Is that not Interest?
>>>> I wouldn't analyze it too much. She might be interested especially if she initiated herself. The important thing is if she goes for another date with you.

10. If a woman comes home after a date and views your online profile is that a good sign or bad sign?
>>>> The same. If she wasn't interested at all she wouldn't look. But she is looking. Again, the important thing is if she goes for another date, not whether she is checking your profile...

These are the reasons why I am single because It's so much about the dating game that I just don't know.
>>>> Yes, there is A LOT of stuff to learn about, it is totally different world. At times it all even seem totally backwards, it is as if everything what you have been told since you were little is totally wrong. And it is totally wrong because you can't get woman...
 

FBJ

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 16, 2014
Messages
25
well it turned out she wasn't interested so I maybe taking another break from dating
 

PinotNoir

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
747
There will always be "problems" with dating, with women, with men, with rules, with society, etc.

It may take a lifetime to change the mountain that is society.

But, to change the molehill that is yourself is much easier.

Yeah, it sucks that men are expected to approach women, and women typically don't. But, how long will it take for society to change this? 7 years? 4 decades? 9 centuries? If I want women, I have to accept this, so I have to get over the hurdle somehow and ask women out. So....

Why everyone has to exaggerate?
- It's just life and silly and playing around. Tell women that you're a secret agent and have to leave the date early to go give a nobel peace prize speech. Laugh it off.

Why women ask about your job?
- Because they're generally interested in you. We spend most of our time at work, and they want to know what you're passionate about. It's also the first thing that pops into people's mind to ask. It's like "how are you?"

Why women only text/call when you disappear?
- Because they're interested and wondering why you aren't texting/calling as much anymore. She's got the hots for you. You're being mysterious, un-needy, busy (possibly pursuing goals in life or dating other women), etc., etc. It's just human nature to be jealous, or to get bored of something that you experience easily and often.

Can't talk to a woman like a friend?
- Sure you can, but surely you talk to your sister (if you have one) differently than with a girl you're interested in, right? You can ask the same questions and say the same crap, but it's just a bit different. I'm not going to make a wet sexual innuendo in front of my sister (but I don't have one anyway), and I'm not going to ask her about her past sexual experiences. Other than that, you can still talk the same way in at least 60% of the conversation or so.

"Tell me something good"
- She's bored or wants you to tell her something hot and exciting (i.e., sexual). Depends on context.

People are late sometimes and busy, don't worry about it. If she's dating other guys, it doesn't matter; you're the sexiest. 10-15 mins? Hey, at least she showed up and had the courtesy to send you a nice text that she will be late. That's a cool girl.

"It was a pleasure meeting you"
- ALWAYS value girls actions over what she says. Girls like to say bullshit (just like guys) in order to be nice and not hurt people's feelings. If she says, "I hate you," but agrees to a 2nd date, does it really matter? This is better than her saying, "Go fuck yourself." She's just being nice.

10. Good sign I would think. Move faster.

Best of luck,
-PN
 

FBJ

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 16, 2014
Messages
25
Actually the date I had on saturday looks like it turned out ok

I text the girl the next morning and she responded in 30 mins

I text her this morning and she responded again

I called tonight but didn't leave a message. She called back in 40 mins



So Looks like interest is there and I will suugest another day to meet up
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,551
FBj,

FBJ said:
1. Why everyone has to exaggerate their lifestyle during the getting to know process

I think it is common. When you find something new and have an early success in it, you do get excited. Some overdo it, Some drop away after some time because they achieve success they want or they dislike it after some time.

FBJ said:
2. Why women constantly ask me if I like my job when they first meet me

It does happen. but not from all girls. They can do it because

1)Small talk
2)the conversation has become boring
3)You let her run the conversation (and most people don't like it since they are just as blur as you on where to run the conversation)
4)Trying to qualify you

FBJ said:
3. Why women only seem to text or call me when I disappear for a while

It is because most guys won't disappear. LOLX!

FBJ said:
4. I'm not supposed to talk to a women I want to date the way I talk to my platonic female friends..............so what do I talk about?

I think you mean is the tone of the conversation. :)

FBJ said:
5. I was told I don't have any GAME and I have no clue what the hell that is in the dating game

You are aware that "Game" exist. You are just putting the basics correctly, right now. So it does seems to outsiders that you're retarded.

FBJ said:
6. I don't know what it means when a woman says "tell me something good"

Hmm....seems like a qualifier to please her.

FBJ said:
7. The question "what do you like to do for fun?" In my sparetime or on a date?

Depending on the course of conversation, and the tone. Worse is that she sees you as a non-sexual being.

FBJ said:
8. When a woman sends a text stating she may 10 or 15 mins late........."is it because she is wrapping up another date?

Maybe. She is probably busy, stuck in traffic, trying to please you before going out and so on.

FBJ said:
9. When a woman sends a text after a 1st date that says........."It was a pleasure meeting you".........Is that not Interest?

It's just a tactical thing. No biggie

FBJ said:
10. If a woman comes home after a date and views your online profile is that a good sign or bad sign?

It's a good sign, to be a boyfriend material, of course. :)

Zac
 

FBJ

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 16, 2014
Messages
25
well the girl I went on a date with on saturday returned my call and we chatted for a bit last night. Only thing I didn't like is when her line beeped and she asked.."can I call you back?"

And never did


So the next convo will be sat or sun and I will ask her out then a
 
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