- Joined
- Nov 7, 2019
- Messages
- 622
Hi everyone - recently had 2 dates with 2 different girls from D.G last week that both went nowhere due to different reasons.
I've broken down what I could have done better in my head and thought I'd write it here as it's a skill that has been crucial for my improvement and it may help someone else. 2nd biggest help has been me putting my ego aside by giving myself permission to look silly.
Girl 1 - Context
Where it ended
Early Signs
Preventions / things I'll do better
Positives
Girl 2 - Context
Where it ended
Early Signs
Preventions / things I'll do better
Positives
Ending Remarks
Hope this helps someone! This is usually how I breakdown my game when something doesn't go to plan and it's helped me improve a lot even without posting everything on the forum. You almost look at yourself in 3rd person and give yourself feedback as though you were talking to a friend.
I've broken down what I could have done better in my head and thought I'd write it here as it's a skill that has been crucial for my improvement and it may help someone else. 2nd biggest help has been me putting my ego aside by giving myself permission to look silly.
Girl 1 - Context
- Met her on a highstreet with an "excuse me I like your outfit" she was taken by surprise but receptive and bubbly/chatty
- Agreed for to a date in 2 weeks' time as she had a busy weekend/week
- Very big on texting (which I'm not) so entertained it for a while before lightly ending it
- She was super forward and would call me in the evenings so thought this would be a classic "just don't fuck up game"
- First date was fine. Lost frame as I walked her back to her place, got in by saying I needed a bathroom but was politely kicked out promptly (think she felt uncomfortable as her house mates were in)
Where it ended
- Called her & got a date for the 2nd date about 3 days after our 1st. She then texts a paragraph saying "we're too different" & she doesn't want to waste my time
- I'm a bit needy and try to turn it around with a voicenote but then cut my losses when she says no again. Last msg is "all good
take care x" & she replies "thanks x"
Early Signs
- While she was trying to have text marathons with me she mentioned how we were "very very different" think she also saw me as "too posh" which is interesting as I described her to my housemate as a "little basic"
- I work at a tech company while she's basically a receptionist. TBF I think the "different" is a bit of girl speak for not aroused enough. As I've dated Au-pairs and nail beauticians before with no problems. Also based on our conversation I'm probably more "clean cut" than her usual type. She only dates black guys so my brothers on here will know the type hahaha.
Preventions / things I'll do better
- When I noticed the "different thing" I should of gracefully brought it up on the date, framed it as a positive then built some common ground
- Have more structure to my dates. As it's been a few months since new dates with new girls I can't just expect to freestyle like before without a plan
- Get better at showing different sides to me depending on the girl. She was a simple dinner and drinks with friends, visit Europe on the weekends and don't work too hard at life kind of person. So it would be beneficial for me to dial down my ambition and just come across as a fun easy going guy.
- With girls like this I had an intuitive feeling they can be easy and respect forwardness. Pulling her back to mine for drinks would of been the better play rather than going for a day 2
Positives
- I'm pulling of dates in semi-lockdown, effortlessly keeping her warm over the 10 days and despite my slip up - had good emotional composure in letting her go
- I held good frame in not getting sucked into texting her all the time and had her investing/chasing in the early stages
- Starting to build a system of regularly getting dates from day game while on my lunch break or shopping - loving the efficiency of it!
- This and the other date were attractive. With D.G there's less "going through the motions" and I'm only stopping girls that do something for me. If I carry on like this I'll reach the next level of effortlessly getting girls who I'm really attracted too rather than taking what I'm given like I did with online
Girl 2 - Context
- Commented her on her outfit on the street just outside my house ironically on the same day as the above girl
- She was initially very cautious/stand-offish but I won her over with "just 10 seconds" and being super warm and upbeat
- Got a date in the diary and had no texting in between dates. She flaked the 1st once but came across genuine so I got the 2nd one booked in
Where it ended
- 1st date - don't think she was that into me as she came straight after work, was late and it was tough getting past general chit chat
- She agreed to 2nd date on the Sunday after our Friday night date but was just being polite as she ignored my "cool seeing you - sunday still ok" text
Early Signs
- She called me keen for trying to arrange a 2nd date there and then. Usually it's a giveaway sign as if a girl is feeling you, it's never been a problem.
- Also the flake although it seemed genuine and I got a long reply saying "love to arrange if you do too"
Preventions / things I'll do better
- More structure in my dates! Can't get away with freestyling until I'm back in rhythm
- Leave a few days in advance between dates. Now with semi-lockdown you have to book everything in advance and all my usual places were fully booked so the pub we went didn't set a good romantic vibe. I also could of gone to the places in person to get any cancelled tables but lesson learnt
- Keep things simple. I changed plans which may have looked too enthusiastic as I originally wanted to walk by the river and give her a "romantic feel" as she was invested at the start by saying "she never gave her a number to a guy like that before" etc.
Positives
- Same as above - also the fact I still got her out even after a flake. I'm getting better at persisting correctly but I'll only do it in the minority of occasions. Green light game is so much more enjoyable.
Ending Remarks
Hope this helps someone! This is usually how I breakdown my game when something doesn't go to plan and it's helped me improve a lot even without posting everything on the forum. You almost look at yourself in 3rd person and give yourself feedback as though you were talking to a friend.
