2nd Date Confirmation Question

DoWhatWorks

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
151
Hi Guys, would appreciate a 2nd opinion on this:

TLDR: Do I double text a meeting confirmation for a 2nd date if she verbally agrees but doesn't reply over text?

Background

Daygame number closed a 31 year old girl last weekend (I'm 25 to her) and we went on a date this Sunday with her knowing my age.

Good date with deep diving, light flirting and laughing where I set chase frames. She agrees to drinks at mine next Saturday evening and our plausible excuse was how cold we were and how there's no bar options in lockdown. Hence we'd make cocktails.

Sexual frames attempt

  • I'm guilty of being too friend like in dates so in this one I upped it slightly by talking about sexual discretion and being non-judgmental
  • She's receptive and talks about how she hates closed minded people and likes adventure
  • Also DHV talking about how I don't use apps and the last time I did a ONS turned FB got a sugar daddy on me (true story lol)
  • No sexual prizing on my part however so perhaps boosted attraction was missing

After date texts
  • I sent a short and simple "good seeing you :) catch you sat at 8pm" and got no reply.
  • Currently double texted already as my message before that was "meet on this side of the park".

My options
  • From my experience no reply from that text usually means it's dead. Although I feel as though I'm cutting my losses too quickly if I don't follow up x1 more
  • Do I send one last text a day before saying "we still good for tomorrow?"
  • Alternatively call 2 days before or send a voicenote? (I've sent it to her before and she responded with her own one back)

Lastly she also paused slightly when I hugged her goodbye so I think she would of been open to a kiss but that's a gut feeling rather than definite.

Thoughts?
 

Fluxcapacitor

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
675
@DoWhatWorks dude! This is female state change and backward rationalisation. There's a huge debate when it comes to kissing girls on dates where you can't bed them, some dudes will point out that it validates them and others will point out it doesn't show sexual intent. Both sides are right. It's also well pointed out that girls usually disappear and second dates aren't always guaranteed. (FSC and backward rationalisation).

For kissing, it depends on you and your style. I'd recommend you read this


It covers that you shouldn't wait to the end of a date for the kiss, it puts added pressure on the moment and if she's receptive you could have had a lot more fun. You could have been more touchy and playful that can help escalate. Maybe your logistics don't work and this style might not be suitable but it's an option to prevent being friend like on dates.

I'm not a fan of your text, you've robbed her of fun by saying you'll see her Saturday. This is very direct and the equivalent of your first text being want to go for drinks? It's very direct and has low odds. This is great if you're meeting her tomorrow, but you're meeting her in a week when there's very low investment. Her buying temperature must be very high for this to work.

In my experience this is a dead lead, but you've got options! Perfect time to experiment and not write it off just yet.

1) message a day or two early and cancel the plans yourself. Now you're the one cancelling and she hasn't flaked or bailed on you, then try again later.

2) wait a couple of days after and text her randomly. You can use a meme, voice note or anything but ignore that you didn't meet. Then mention that you totally forgot about it and reschedule. This re frames it that you were to busy for her.

3) it appears that texting is a bad platform for this girl and she's not very responsive, a voice note will change the medium and shake it up. Alternatively use another app to contact her and remind her of the date. If she doesn't respond you know it's a dead end but it's only cost 1 text/ voice note. Persistence (not neediness) is attractive.

The triple text usually doesn't look good, but it's alright with the right context. If you really like the girl or looking to try something give one of the options above a shot. (I've had success with all suggestions, though I usually use option 1)

The fix to this sticking point is either running a better date (for that girl) to try have the emotions stick (each girl requires something different) and improve your follow up text. You should read this:

[/URL]
 

DoWhatWorks

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
151
There's a huge debate when it comes to kissing girls on dates where you can't bed them

I fall under the camp of not kissing unless I’m able to sleep with them. I see both sides though!
girls usually disappear and second dates aren't always guaranteed

Learning this a lot recently. My challenge is weighing up the trade off on time wasted

Day 2 = easy lay or total 2hrs wasted on dates

Same day = easy lay or 5+ hrs wasted on LMR

I also find girls are more guarded on the 2nd date on the rare chance they meet you again after the failed 1 day lay attempt.

I'm not a fan of your text, you've robbed her of fun by saying you'll see her Saturday

Appreciate the feedback.

Any better response? It was based on our conversation & her happily agreeing those times



In my experience this is a dead lead, but you've got options! Perfect time to experiment and not write it off just yet.

Agreed!

Think I’ll either go with option 3 or option 1 via iMessage as we’ve been texting on WhatsApp

Could you re-send the link please? Didn’t work.

Thanks for the quick response man - grateful for your help :)
 

Velasco

Modern Human
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
952
After date texts
  • I sent a short and simple "good seeing you :) catch you sat at 8pm" and got no reply.
  • Currently double texted already as my message before that was "meet on this side of the park".
If the girl ignores my first message - no hard feelings I delete the number and move on - this makes the whole thing very efficient.
?
No sexual prizing on my part
Dates are coming in pretty easily too now but my missing link is converting those dates to girls I sleep with
See the change in results (wildcards is what prevented him from closing) Lofty got once he actually started talking about sex (it is after all called "sex" talk lol) VS before that (up until late October when i suggested he'd imply verbal material that turns girls on).
My challenge is weighing up the trade off on time wasted

Day 2 = easy lay or total 2hrs wasted on dates

Same day = easy lay or 5+ hrs wasted on LMR
those "day 2 easy lays" would be "same day easy lays" with sex prizing.

Most of or all the girls you've been with, had you done things right on Day 1 (or had there not been some insurmountable obstacle that forced you to delay things until later), you could've bedded on Day 1.

 

Glow

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
236
Assume shes coming, eg a text like:

Planning some vodka-mimosa-inspired coctails for Saturday. Down your alley?

Keep it light and assuming. Play with things like being drinking buddies, can she handle drinking certain types etc. notice its kept short and concise - casual.

even if she wasnt sure this could bait her
 
Last edited:

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
1,312
Location
South Florida
Hi Guys, would appreciate a 2nd opinion on this:

TLDR: Do I double text a meeting confirmation for a 2nd date if she verbally agrees but doesn't reply over text?

Background

Daygame number closed a 31 year old girl last weekend (I'm 25 to her) and we went on a date this Sunday with her knowing my age.

Good date with deep diving, light flirting and laughing where I set chase frames. She agrees to drinks at mine next Saturday evening and our plausible excuse was how cold we were and how there's no bar options in lockdown. Hence we'd make cocktails.

Sexual frames attempt

  • I'm guilty of being too friend like in dates so in this one I upped it slightly by talking about sexual discretion and being non-judgmental
  • She's receptive and talks about how she hates closed minded people and likes adventure
  • Also DHV talking about how I don't use apps and the last time I did a ONS turned FB got a sugar daddy on me (true story lol)
  • No sexual prizing on my part however so perhaps boosted attraction was missing

After date texts
  • I sent a short and simple "good seeing you :) catch you sat at 8pm" and got no reply.
  • Currently double texted already as my message before that was "meet on this side of the park".

My options
  • From my experience no reply from that text usually means it's dead. Although I feel as though I'm cutting my losses too quickly if I don't follow up x1 more
  • Do I send one last text a day before saying "we still good for tomorrow?"
  • Alternatively call 2 days before or send a voicenote? (I've sent it to her before and she responded with her own one back)

Lastly she also paused slightly when I hugged her goodbye so I think she would of been open to a kiss but that's a gut feeling rather than definite.

Thoughts?

^ none of this is my style or how i would have done things (plenty of posts on how to date and text)... This is my only point, next time after the date say do me a favor "text me when you get home to make sure you got home ok" must women will do this, and is a common practice and expected with women...

The kissing before after and all that, is irrelevant.. The problem is the typical end of date compensatory kiss (that is bad at end of the day good bye lip quick kiss = kiss of death)... other than that kissing done right with sexual tension does not hurt in my experience (i do this all the time)..

"good seeing you "smiley" emoji catch you sat. at 8 pm" beyond horrible, come on...
 

DoWhatWorks

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
151

Out of context. I don't double text girls I've number closed but if we've gone on a date I'll persist a little more.

See the change in results

Note taken. I've pushed it by talking about being sexually non-judgmental but this is a weaker area of mine I'm working on. I'm used to online where the context of the app does the sexual undertones for you.

those "day 2 easy lays" would be "same day easy lays" with sex prizing.

Never looked at it that way. Thanks this is why I use the forum to shorten my learning curve!
even if she wasnt sure this could bait her

Thanks I'll incorporate this

"good seeing you "smiley" emoji catch you sat. at 8 pm" beyond horrible, come on...

lol thanks for the brutal honest feedback. I'll steal the "get home safe line". I'm learning that my " existing game" was more not fucking up with green lights so I'm still transitioning to higher % game. Believe it or not that text has worked for me in the past ahahaha.
 
Last edited:

Fluxcapacitor

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
675
@DoWhatWorks dude! Your calculations are misguided at best and completely inaccurate at worst. Same day can be achieved in less than an hour and doesn't take 5. Day 2s can also take 5+hours due to LMR and various other reasons such as extended dates. You've backward rationalised why you prefer day 2s. This is fine, you can have a preference but realise your maths is of because otherwise you'll subconsciously miss escalation windows or not push when it's on.

The link that didn't work had the better text examples or I'd have provided you with some, my bad dude! The link is:


All of the article will help direct you, and I knew @Skills would agree that your text was horrible :') an example I'd give is

Hey NAME :) it was fun hanging out with you/ walking with you, hope you got home safe

Hey NAME, it was cool catching you today hope you weren't late for work!

Skills also gave a great suggestion of asking her to message you when she gets home. This adds social pressure to her and most likely will comply. If she doesn't it's negative compliance and you know where you stand. I've had girls who were really interested in me do this to me and I've felt obliged to comply due to the social pressure on it. I delay my reply if they know I live 10 minutes away I'll get in and sorted and take my time before hitting them up. Even then the premise of my text matches my examples rather than stating I got home. It's a better constructed text and provides more "value".

Follow up with a date confirmation later dude!
 

DoWhatWorks

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
151
@Fluxcapacitor thanks for challenging me on the day 1 vs day 2. Think I convinced myself that I need higher SMV to pull it off.

That article is a goldmine! I’ve saved it & I’m surprised I hadn’t seen it before.

Will send a confirmation text later and update the thread if it goes anywhere.
 

DoWhatWorks

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
151
Update: Thank you to everyone who contributed! Girl in question came round mine for drinks Friday night... Will write up a report soon
 
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