4 year relationship breakup, need some guidance

[topcat]

I only want to reply to her to show I have no grudges and that i accept things as they are, because my last message to her (before her audio and try's to call me) might have conveied the oposite by not wanting to meet and stating that her entertaining another man earlier this year is also a reason for me to walk out. I dont wanna look like i dont accept shit , idk

You only want to change her perception because you have some hope that she’ll come back. Ironically doing so will actually decrease the chances she does.

If you truly accept it, accept it by moving on. If you have to retroactively tell her you accept it, then your actions reveal the opposite.

 

[Pushpullsucker]

You only want to change her perception because you have some hope that she’ll come back. Ironically doing so will actually decrease the chances she does.

If you truly accept it, accept it by moving on. If you have to retroactively tell her you accept it, then your actions reveal the opposite.

Even if my last message rejecting her meet before she spazzed out was something along the lines of " There is no need for an emotional talk, im good. We all have personal problems but things like respect comitment and loyalty are unegociable. And your previous mistakes have shown me that you are not the person I tought you were regarding those values, honestly I dont want any part in that. You can choose to tell whatever narrative you want but only we know the truth. "

 

[topcat]

Even if my last message rejecting her meet before she spazzed out was something along the lines of " There is no need for an emotional talk. We all have personal problems but things like respect comitment and loyalty are unegociable. And your previous mistakes have shown me that you are not the person I tought you were regarding those values, honestly I dont want any part in that. You can choose to tell whatever narrative you want but only we know the truth. "

I dunno maybe she won’t come back. Why do you care?

If you love her so much why did you break up with her?

As a man make a choice, chase her down and get back with her, warts and all. Or move on.

This half assed “let me send the right message to her so i can hopefully manipulate her into missing me so i don’t embarrass myself by chasing her to get back with me” is weak and indecisive as fuck.

Chase her and beg her to get back with you. Or turn your back on her and do better with the next one.

The tone of your last message isn’t the problem.

 

[Pushpullsucker]

I dunno maybe she won’t come back. Why do you care?

If you love her so much why did you break up with her?

As a man make a choice, chase her down and get back with her, warts and all. Or move on.

This half assed “let me send the right message to her so i can hopefully manipulate her into missing me so i don’t embarrass myself by chasing her to get back with me” is weak and indecisive as fuck.

Chase her and beg her to get back with you. Or turn your back on her and do better with the next one.

The tone of your last message isn’t the problem.

I understand that. But the reason im trying to decide the best way to exit this and leave her wondering she fucked up is to atleast have that to lean on while healing, knowing that I left the right way keeping a strong frame and dignity and that she probably will regret instigating a break up down the line.
I feel the need to make the best exit possible in that regard but for my own well being. If i would fuck her again it would not be to have her back and resume a relationship, because once she goes trough other dudes I can never see her the same way. It would be for my self esteem knowing that she came crawling back because I wasnt the low value man she portraid me to be.
Thats why im asking if my last message was good enough in that regard, because truth is i want her to regret, i put years and effort into this relationship took a lot of shit and went trough the worst phase of my life regarding mental and physical health.

 

[POB]

@Pushpullsucker
Take the fucking pain and move on.
Stop being a petty mofo that still moans about women exercising their RIGHT to have sex with whomever they want.

Relationships come and go, that's the nature of it all.
Embrace it and do better next time.

You are punching a wall hoping your hand won't break in the process...it will never work.

 

[topcat]

I understand that. But the reason im trying to decide the best way to exit this and leave her wondering she fucked up is to atleast have that to lean on while healing, knowing that I left the right way keeping a strong frame and dignity and that she probably will regret instigating a break up down the line.
I feel the need to make the best exit possible in that regard but for my own well being. If i would fuck her again it would not be to have her back and resume a relationship, because once she goes trough other dudes I can never see her the same way. It would be for my self esteem knowing that she came crawling back because I wasnt the low value man she portraid me to be.
Thats why im asking if my last message was good enough in that regard, because truth is i want her to regret, i put years and effort into this relationship took a lot of shit and went trough the worst phase of my life regarding mental and physical health.

The very fact that you’re having these thoughts is just proof that you are the low value guy youre worried she thinks you are.

Want to be perceived as high value?

Walk away quietly and let her be. Then spend your time working to be a stronger and more valuable man. Build your value in your own eyes. Any other move is low value.

I promise you for all your bullshit, if she texts you to meet up tomorrow, you will. If she offers you the pussy, you won’t turn it down. And if she apologizes you’ll jump right back into the same swamp you just got out of. You’re pretending right now.

If being high value is a true concern walk away. Actions speak truest…

 

[Pushpullsucker]

@Pushpullsucker
Take the fucking pain and move on.
Stop being a petty mofo that still moans about women exercising their RIGHT to have sex with whomever they want.

Relationships come and go, that's the nature of it all.
Embrace it and do better next time.

You are punching a wall hoping your hand won't break in the process...it will never work.

The very fact that you’re having these thoughts is just proof that you are the low value guy youre worried she thinks you are.

Want to be perceived as high value?

Walk away quietly and let her be. Then spend your time working to be a stronger and more valuable man. Build your value in your own eyes. Any other move is low value.

I promise you for all your bullshit, if she texts you to meet up tomorrow, you will. If she offers you the pussy, you won’t turn it down. And if she apologizes you’ll jump right back into the same swamp you just got out of. You’re pretending right now.

If being high value is a true concern walk away. Actions speak truest…

I hear you.. Thanks

 

[topcat]

I hear you.. Thanks

No problem buddy. Good luck

 

[POB]

I hear you.. Thanks

Check the links @Skills posted.
They'll help you.