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5'9" Chinese guy attracted to white american girls, will I have any chance?

Atlas IV

Cro-Magnon Man
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Joined
May 21, 2023
Messages
275
@Chase @AspiringStoic

Well, I get it, confidence and game are important, but let's be real for a second. I'm not talking about a "serious disfigurement," but my wide, flat nose and weak jawline aren't exactly earning me brownie points either. It's not just about confidence; it's about the harsh reality of how superficial white women can be, especially when it comes to dating.
I've noticed guys who get the most attention from white girls are white and often have those chiseled facial features and aesthetic jawlines. No offense to you @Chase, but you are a 6 ft tall white man and probably considered above average in looks to most young white women. It's not a coincidence! It feels like no matter how much game a facially average or below average non-white man has, he is still facing a MASSIVE uphill battle with white women because of how he looks.
I know cosmetic surgery is a big step, but if changing my nose and jawline can give me even an edge in any modern competitive dating market, shouldn't I at least consider it? I don't like being judged for something I can't control. It's easy to say 'focus on game,' but when repeated failures with certain types of women can be attributed to one man's physical appearance, it raises questions about the overall effectiveness of game in such scenarios.
So yeah, maybe I have just watched too many lookism / looks-maxing videos, but they seem to make some valid points about how shallow white women can be and how critical first impressions are. I just want to know if investing in my appearance will potentially make a huge difference.
Dude, you sound like one of the guys in this article...

https://www.girlschase.com/content/i-cant-get-girls-because-girls-only-want-blank
 

gameboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
974
Why would you want to get with a shallow woman?

Stop watching videos and meet girls in real life...
 

Chase

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Staff member
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Messages
6,029
I've noticed guys who get the most attention from white girls are white and often have those chiseled facial features and aesthetic jawlines.

The most attention or the most pussy?

Because if you are talking pussy, I have not noticed that, no.

No offense to you @Chase, but you are a 6 ft tall white man and probably considered above average in looks to most young white women.

Well I guess you should just ignore everything I have to say then.

It is not like I have been running a business in this space for 16 years and have personally worked with hundreds of clients, including short & average-looking Asian dudes with accents who want to bang white American girls, not to mention witnessed thousands of more men's individual progresses, including, once again, short & average-looking (or even ugly) Asian dudes with accents who are going around banging white American girls :p

It's not a coincidence! It feels like no matter how much game a facially average or below average non-white man has, he is still facing a MASSIVE uphill battle with white women because of how he looks.

What is this mental model you have based on?

Is it based on TV?



I know cosmetic surgery is a big step, but if changing my nose and jawline can give me even an edge in any modern competitive dating market, shouldn't I at least consider it?

It will not.

It WILL waste a lot of your time going through "procedures", and then cause you to crash in depression when you realize your new plastic surgery nose and jawline do not help put pussy on your dick in any way.

I don't like being judged for something I can't control.

Oh okay.

You're not talking about pickup then.

You're talking about becoming a beautiful one.


There's an ENORMOUS difference between "what do I need to do to fuck women?" and "how can I be as beautiful as possible?"

See, you came on here talking about fucking women -- but now you are talking about being judged.

These are two different things.

Guys who fuck a lot of women learn to not care about being judged. They have learned that "everyone's a critic" and that it doesn't matter what the peanut gallery thinks about them -- the only thing that matters is what pussy they end up inside of at the end of the day.

They have even learned that chicks who started out judging them in some negative way will spread their legs for them a lot of the time if they play their cards right.

Guys who are obsessed with "not being judged how they don't want to be judged" are not guys who get pussy.

But they are often very good at being likable guys, making it into a lot of girls' friend zones, climbing the social ladder, etc.

Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

It's easy to say 'focus on game,' but when repeated failures with certain types of women can be attributed to one man's physical appearance, it raises questions about the overall effectiveness of game in such scenarios.

How many failures would you say, and how did you trace the issue back to your appearance?

I've got thousands of failures in the game. Most of the time it's impossible to trace it back to precisely what the issue was.

How are you drawing these conclusions you're drawing?

So yeah, maybe I have just watched too many lookism / looks-maxing videos

Ah.

Yep.

So it is the TV.

The magic insecurity-generating machine.

but they seem to make some valid points about how shallow white women can be and how critical first impressions are.

Do these looksmax guys get pussy?

Because from what I have seen they tend to be incels.

Would you take "how to get laid advice" from a priest? How about a monk?

Is there any difference between an incel and a monk?

(I guess the technical difference is one is voluntary and one is involuntary... but effectively these guys have about the same level of insight into female reproductive psychology)

I just want to know if investing in my appearance will potentially make a huge difference.

You can find plenty of articles online about dudes who go and get a bunch of plastic surgery work done and then still can't find dates.

Life is short. We all have to decide where we want to focus our energy.

You can focus your energy on "being beautiful" or you can focus it on "fucking beautiful girls."

In theory you should be able to do both. But Realistically you may only pick one.

Personally, my position is always, "Hey, if you hate the way you look, why not go find a BEAUTIFUL girl who looks FUCKING PERFECT then just knock her up with like 10 babies and let the next generation of your lineage look a lot more like your ideal of beauty?"

It's a much better use of time then visiting plastic surgery clinics, getting a bunch of possibly-shoddy, often-uncanny-valley-looking work done, then getting deeply depressed that your new jaw or nose doesn't open THE PUSSY FLOODGATES like you so hoped it would.

Women are attracted to male behavior.

Posture is behavior. Eye contact is behavior. Hairstyle choice is behavior. Fashion is behavior. Vibe is behavior. Expressions are behavior. Movement is behavior. Proximity is behavior. Flirtation is behavior. Seduction is behavior.

Behavior is the male peacock's tail.


If you want to be FIENDISHLY sexy, obsess about THAT -- not "your Asian jawline."

P.S. I dislike my own jawline. Too rounded for my tastes. Don't tell anybody.

I love fucking girls with sexy jawlines. Makes me feel like I'm getting away with something :cool:

Chase
 

AspiringStoic

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 21, 2023
Messages
312
@Chase @AspiringStoic

Well, I get it, confidence and game are important, but let's be real for a second. I'm not talking about a "serious disfigurement," but my wide, flat nose and weak jawline aren't exactly earning me brownie points either. It's not just about confidence; it's about the harsh reality of how superficial white women can be, especially when it comes to dating.
I've noticed guys who get the most attention from white girls are white and often have those chiseled facial features and aesthetic jawlines. No offense to you @Chase, but you are a 6 ft tall white man and probably considered above average in looks to most young white women. It's not a coincidence! It feels like no matter how much game a facially average or below average non-white man has, he is still facing a MASSIVE uphill battle with white women because of how he looks.
I know cosmetic surgery is a big step, but if changing my nose and jawline can give me even an edge in any modern competitive dating market, shouldn't I at least consider it? I don't like being judged for something I can't control. It's easy to say 'focus on game,' but when repeated failures with certain types of women can be attributed to one man's physical appearance, it raises questions about the overall effectiveness of game in such scenarios.
So yeah, maybe I have just watched too many lookism / looks-maxing videos, but they seem to make some valid points about how shallow white women can be and how critical first impressions are. I just want to know if investing in my appearance will potentially make a huge difference.
I guess you came to the wrong forum buddy. It seems like nothing anyone says here is going to change your mind. You are just looking for validation of the things you already believe in. All the best to you.
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
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Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,029
FYI, I wrote a new piece on the whole looksmaxxing trend, why guys get sucked into it, and the dearth of results (actual results -- as in penis-in-vagina -- not the "my look now is so much better" results, which are totally subjective and not the reason the guy gets into it in the first place) this stuff boasts:


This thread was the inspiration for it.

Also also -- I am convalescing from surgery right now (double hernia repair surgery), which totally sucks.

Just tried going off my pain meds for a few hours to see if I was ready for that and the verdict was no, I am definitely not ready for that yet.

Why anyone would subject himself to this to "try to get laid", and have it not even work, when he can just go learn how to talk to girls better, and have that actually work, puts my head in twisty tangles.

Chase
 

Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
313
Hi all. So I'm heading to the US for my Master's soon. As a 5'9" average-looking Chinese man born and raised in Singapore, I am starting to get attracted to white women, especially tall blonde girls. However, I'm feeling anxious about my dating prospects soon in the US. My male friends who've been to the US and studied there have got me feeling a bit unsure, haha.

They're saying young beautiful white girls, especially blonde women, usually go for white guys and if they go for guys who are not white, usually go for black guys or hispanic guys. And they also said that based on their personal experience East Asian guys there were considered ugly and asexual by white women unless the Asian guy is genetically gifted (e.g. looks like a 6'1" tall Korean male model or kpop singer). Apparently, the whole COVID thing didn't help the image of Chinese men in the US much either.

For your information I've had a high-school Chinese girlfriend and a few flings in Singapore. But America might be a whole different ball game. And after all the "Asian guys are unattractive" studies my friends have sent like these:

Asian males and black females are more highly excluded than their opposite-sex counterparts
For equal success with a white woman, an Asian man needs $247,000.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm in for a brutal reality check when I go to America and try to get a girlfriend there. What if I become an incel?

It's scary, because I was actually in LA last year, and I saw like every possible combination except Asian man with a white girl. Like, tons of white men with Asian girls, but the reverse? Nonexistent. Also, I know some Chinese women who are married to a white American man in my life but no Chinese man married to a white American girl. Starting to think my pessimistic friends might be onto something.
if your sexy, you could be purple skinned and it wouldn't matter

what does matter is subtly communicating you can fuck good

here are two articles that'll point you in that direction:

how to be sexy

being an asshole - women love this
 

AspiringStoic

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 21, 2023
Messages
312
FYI, I wrote a new piece on the whole looksmaxxing trend, why guys get sucked into it, and the dearth of results (actual results -- as in penis-in-vagina -- not the "my look now is so much better" results, which are totally subjective and not the reason the guy gets into it in the first place) this stuff boasts:


This thread was the inspiration for it.

Also also -- I am convalescing from surgery right now (double hernia repair surgery), which totally sucks.

Just tried going off my pain meds for a few hours to see if I was ready for that and the verdict was no, I am definitely not ready for that yet.

Why anyone would subject himself to this to "try to get laid", and have it not even work, when he can just go learn how to talk to girls better, and have that actually work, puts my head in twisty tangles.

Chase
Wow great article @Chase 😎

I am glad this thread culminated in a great article that others might benefit from even if the OP ends up brushing it aside.
 

AbWongX

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 6, 2024
Messages
15
FYI, I wrote a new piece on the whole looksmaxxing trend, why guys get sucked into it, and the dearth of results (actual results -- as in penis-in-vagina -- not the "my look now is so much better" results, which are totally subjective and not the reason the guy gets into it in the first place) this stuff boasts:


This thread was the inspiration for it.

Also also -- I am convalescing from surgery right now (double hernia repair surgery), which totally sucks.

Just tried going off my pain meds for a few hours to see if I was ready for that and the verdict was no, I am definitely not ready for that yet.

Why anyone would subject himself to this to "try to get laid", and have it not even work, when he can just go learn how to talk to girls better, and have that actually work, puts my head in twisty tangles.

Chase

Hey @Chase , thanks for the response and for sharing your long article. First off, I hope you have recovered from your surgery – that sounds difficult.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what you wrote, and I understand that learning how to talk to girls and learning game are crucial. I definitely plan on working on my game because, as you mentioned, game can go a long way. However, I still can't ignore the impact of physical appearance, especially for a 5'9" (175 cm) Chinese guy like me.

Well, I have a small, recessed chin, which is considered generally unattractive in the West, and that sucks since I'm particularly drawn to the looks of many white women with well-developed chins and jawlines — traits that are the complete opposite of mine. There's something very appealing about that facial symmetry and healthy craniofacial structure. We know that people tend to be attracted to similar facial features, as you mentioned in one of your articles. However, I can't even grow a proper stubble to hide my weak chin. Therefore, undergoing surgery to enhance my chin and jawline could logically make me more appealing to the white women I find attractive, right?

main-qimg-ab83313cb45a5d9785aae36c21896128

An example where surgery significantly improves overall facial appearance, making someone look more balanced and attractive.

I have this belief that men with very weak chins and jawlines struggle more to attract high SMV white/european-descended girls in the West, like models and actresses, especially if these men are not white/black and cannot grow facial hair to hide their weak chins. Obviously, there are some exceptions like multi-millionaires and famous celebrities, but still. It seems to me that white men with visible jawlines and well-developed chins, like ryan reynolds, ian somerhalder, tom cruise, have an advantage in getting attractive white girls (because they have many similar facial features to these girls). No envy or judgment here – just recognizing the reality.

So I'm considering a dual approach: improving my game and social skills while also saving up for potential cosmetic surgery. I’ll start with working on game as you recommend, but I’ll keep the option of surgery on the table.

If anyone here has tips on balancing both aspects or has gone through a similar experience, I’d love to hear your stories and advice.

Thanks again for the insights.

AbWongX
 
Last edited:

topcat

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
847
Hey @Chase , thanks for the response and for sharing your long article. First off, I hope you have recovered from your surgery – that sounds difficult.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what you wrote, and I understand that learning how to talk to girls and learning game are crucial. I definitely plan on working on my game because, as you mentioned, game can go a long way. However, I still can't ignore the impact of physical appearance, especially for a 5'9" (175 cm) Chinese guy like me.

Well, I have a small, recessed chin, which is considered generally unattractive in the West, and that sucks since I'm particularly drawn to the looks of many white women with well-developed chins and jawlines — traits that are the complete opposite of mine. There's something very appealing about that facial symmetry and healthy craniofacial structure. We know that people tend to be attracted to similar facial features, as you mentioned in one of your articles. However, I can't even grow a proper stubble to hide my weak chin. Therefore, undergoing surgery to enhance my chin and jawline could logically make me more appealing to the white women I find attractive, right?

main-qimg-ab83313cb45a5d9785aae36c21896128

An example where surgery significantly improves overall facial appearance, making someone look more balanced and attractive.

I have this belief that men with very weak chins and jawlines struggle more to attract high SMV white/european-descended girls in the West, like models and actresses, especially if these men are not white/black and cannot grow facial hair to hide their weak chins. Obviously, there are some exceptions like multi-millionaires and famous celebrities, but still. It seems to me that white men with visible jawlines and well-developed chins, like ryan reynolds, ian somerhalder, tom cruise, have an advantage in getting attractive white girls (because they have many similar facial features to these girls). No envy or judgment here – just recognizing the reality.

So I'm considering a dual approach: improving my game and social skills while also saving up for potential cosmetic surgery. I’ll start with working on game as you recommend, but I’ll keep the option of surgery on the table.

If anyone here has tips on balancing both aspects or has gone through a similar experience, I’d love to hear your stories and advice.

Thanks again for the insights.

AbWongX
😂 dude, you’ve never even spoken to a white woman before..how do you know what “they” are attracted to??
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,029
Hey @Chase , thanks for the response and for sharing your long article. First off, I hope you have recovered from your surgery – that sounds difficult.

Cheers.

Still wearing the compression underpants.

But as of today I can finally shower again. No more asking women to give me sponge baths!

I’ve been thinking a lot about what you wrote, and I understand that learning how to talk to girls and learning game are crucial. I definitely plan on working on my game because, as you mentioned, game can go a long way. However, I still can't ignore the impact of physical appearance, especially for a 5'9" (175 cm) Chinese guy like me.

Well, I have a small, recessed chin, which is considered generally unattractive in the West, and that sucks since I'm particularly drawn to the looks of many white women with well-developed chins and jawlines — traits that are the complete opposite of mine. There's something very appealing about that facial symmetry and healthy craniofacial structure. We know that people tend to be attracted to similar facial features, as you mentioned in one of your articles. However, I can't even grow a proper stubble to hide my weak chin. Therefore, undergoing surgery to enhance my chin and jawline could logically make me more appealing to the white women I find attractive, right?

main-qimg-ab83313cb45a5d9785aae36c21896128

An example where surgery significantly improves overall facial appearance, making someone look more balanced and attractive.

I have this belief that men with very weak chins and jawlines struggle more to attract high SMV white/european-descended girls in the West, like models and actresses, especially if these men are not white/black and cannot grow facial hair to hide their weak chins. Obviously, there are some exceptions like multi-millionaires and famous celebrities, but still. It seems to me that white men with visible jawlines and well-developed chins, like ryan reynolds, ian somerhalder, tom cruise, have an advantage in getting attractive white girls (because they have many similar facial features to these girls). No envy or judgment here – just recognizing the reality.

You are correct, people generally prefer similar facial features.

Among 40% of people (those with the best relationships with their parents), this is a STRONG preference.

Among 20% of people (those with the worst relationships with their parents), it is an ANTI-preference (they prefer opposite features to their own).

The remaining 40% of people are somewhere in the middle, where it is not a strong preference, and not an anti-preference. Basically a moderate preference.

I will also note the preference seems to be strongest among marriage partners, and less strong among casual partners.

However, at this point, you are engaged in what we in the seduction community dub "mental masturbation":


You have concocted an entire theoretical model of American white women and attraction based off of a mixture of secondhand resources, with zero firsthand information.

I very strongly advise against permanent / drastic decisions when you are operating on zero empirical evidence.

You need a solid base of real world experience before you go resorting to drastic measures. Surgery that permanently alters your face is a drastic life change.

Keep in mind that it is also something that, ultimately is going to attract the wrong women in -- i.e., women attracted to "fake face @AbWongX" instead of "real face @AbWongX." That's how you end up with situations like this:


So I'm considering a dual approach: improving my game and social skills while also saving up for potential cosmetic surgery. I’ll start with working on game as you recommend, but I’ll keep the option of surgery on the table.

I strongly suggest you commit to reaching a certain level of game before plastic surgery is even an option for you.

Actually I would probably suggest you bed at least 5 (though more ideally 10+) American white girls, then decide if you still need to have chin surgery.

Even with a recessed chin you are still going to be able to find white girls to bang once your game is developed. If you reach 5-10+ bedded and decide that you're still not getting the quality you want and are convinced a chin upgrade is going to push you over the hump to white girl heaven, then knock yourself out. (well, I guess the anesthesiologist will knock you out, technically speaking)

But don't do it before you've got a sizable amount of real world, empirical data under your belt -- otherwise you are doing something drastic without understanding how women actually respond to you IRL, and very likely without understanding what the consequences will be either.

Chase
 

johndoe

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 18, 2013
Messages
65
Hey @Chase , thanks for the response and for sharing your long article. First off, I hope you have recovered from your surgery – that sounds difficult.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what you wrote, and I understand that learning how to talk to girls and learning game are crucial. I definitely plan on working on my game because, as you mentioned, game can go a long way. However, I still can't ignore the impact of physical appearance, especially for a 5'9" (175 cm) Chinese guy like me.

Well, I have a small, recessed chin, which is considered generally unattractive in the West, and that sucks since I'm particularly drawn to the looks of many white women with well-developed chins and jawlines — traits that are the complete opposite of mine. There's something very appealing about that facial symmetry and healthy craniofacial structure. We know that people tend to be attracted to similar facial features, as you mentioned in one of your articles. However, I can't even grow a proper stubble to hide my weak chin. Therefore, undergoing surgery to enhance my chin and jawline could logically make me more appealing to the white women I find attractive, right?

main-qimg-ab83313cb45a5d9785aae36c21896128

An example where surgery significantly improves overall facial appearance, making someone look more balanced and attractive.

I have this belief that men with very weak chins and jawlines struggle more to attract high SMV white/european-descended girls in the West, like models and actresses, especially if these men are not white/black and cannot grow facial hair to hide their weak chins. Obviously, there are some exceptions like multi-millionaires and famous celebrities, but still. It seems to me that white men with visible jawlines and well-developed chins, like ryan reynolds, ian somerhalder, tom cruise, have an advantage in getting attractive white girls (because they have many similar facial features to these girls). No envy or judgment here – just recognizing the reality.

So I'm considering a dual approach: improving my game and social skills while also saving up for potential cosmetic surgery. I’ll start with working on game as you recommend, but I’ll keep the option of surgery on the table.

If anyone here has tips on balancing both aspects or has gone through a similar experience, I’d love to hear your stories and advice.

Thanks again for the insights.

AbWongX
A bit late to the party, but I agree with @Chase that you don't need cosmetic surgery as well. That's focusing on the wrong thing.

I'm a 5'5" Singaporean guy who has travelled quite a fair bit, and I've managed to get with reasonably attractive white women. It is harder than getting Asian women, because you will not have as many successful opens, but closing is still the same game. For me, that just meant I needed to go through a larger number of girls.

White girls are not a lot different from girls in other places. They are just more liberal than the average girl in Asia (which makes them similar to the girls in Singapore, IMO).

I have a Chinese / Singapore accent as well, and I never thought that was an issue. If you manage to get a girl out, having a strong frame and a firm hand on how to lead the interaction is more important than your accent or how you look. I actually found it easier to get laid overseas because I was always only a tourist, which meant I could pull the "it's either tonight or never" card a lot.
 
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