Good on you for getting out there solo Renan. It can be very intimidating at first, but as I've improved going out solo has become my preference as I find that going out with people I know can hurt more than help. Anyway here are some things I've learned.
1. Set small, focused goals. If you're focused on getting laid when you can still hardly get passed "Hello," you'll end up both A. putting a lot of pressure on yourself and B. create a sense of failure. So instead think about what you can achieve and take it a step further. It's easier to say "Hi" to strangers now? Next time see if you can talk to them for 30 sec. There will be times, a lot, where you may not quite hit the standard you set for yourself and that's alright. Other times you'll hit your mark and you can go home satisfied. And then there will be the times where you did what you're supposed to and next thing you know you're much further along in an interaction than you ever anticipated to be. Try to tailor a step by step process suited to where you feel you're at.
2. Yes be talkative, but only to people you like / are attracted to. A good number of guys suggest lowering standards to help build yourself up, and maybe that's a strategy that will work for you but personally I don't feel it helps. Not only will your lack of interest show but you also won't feel that sensation of anxiety either and thus the need to overcome it. Here's the thing though...if you select who you talk to then it acts as social proof in a way (in my experience anyway). People generally expect you to be with a group or a silent creeper. So if you show that you'll talk to people, but not everyone it can help combat the vibe of being needy. Now, not lowering your standards also means not having impossible standards either...which is another discussion. You'll be surprised at how many supposed "out of your league" girls will be happy to talk to you and give you a shot.
3. Being talkative plus being out alone allows you to be flexible and freely join social groups. I have had a fair share of instances where a conversation starter in line led to drinks which led to lady introductions and eventually back to their place. It is very empowering when you can flow freely in and out of social groups.
4. The other nice thing about being alone, you don't have a group of friends judging you about who you're approaching. This makes you freer and more confident to approach more girls. Only a good thing.
5. Limit your drinking. My golden rule is 2. This kinda goes with #3, because while you want to have the freedom to go with others you also don't want to be stupid which means maintaining control. You don't wanna end up stuck at some stranger's place and unable to leave at a moment's notice cause you're too drunk to drive. Also being drunk while hitting on girls is bad news.
6. To the "Are you alone?" question the response that has worked best for me is "I was out with some people but they all decided to turn in early and I wasn't ready to go home." or some variation. It shows you have friends but also have the confidence to be out alone. It's also allowed me to bypass situations where I would otherwise be shit-tested.
7. Compliment girls. It may not sound like much but I've had entire interactions predicated upon whether or not I complimented a girl. Sometimes...say if a group of guys has invited you into their circle...and they introduce you to the the girls it can be easy to forget. Thing is regardless of whether a girl is into you or not she definitely won't be if you don't say something nice about her.
8. Move girls. Is your conversation slowing down? Stopping? Move them. Another little rule that I have found can make or break an interaction. Unlike us guys who are pretty task focused when they go out, girls are very ADD. You have to constantly play into that by giving them new things to focus on. If a girl says something like "I'm gonna go find my friends." or otherwise gives an excuse to leave, there's a good chance moving her somewhere (bar, dance floor, 5 ft., etc.) would have prevented it.
9. Don't buy girls drinks. You can offer to get a drink with them, but don't pay. Women are VERY good at faking interest for the sake of free drinks from guys. My caveat to this is if a girl is giving you a good deal of investment already, then you can buy her a drink as a reward for sticking with you. But yeah as a rule of thumb don't do this, because if a girl likes you then you won't have to.
10. Enjoy yourself. Have fun with the atmosphere and all the debauchery you see around you. Doing so will subconsciously help with all of your other fundamentals. It might sound cliche, but it's the spontaneous events you don't plan for that tend to make for the best experiences and those can only come if you enjoy things as they are, and then allow everything else to fall into place taking action and leading as a man where you see fit.
Hope it helps. Happy New Year and we all look forward to hearing how you progress.
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