Very brief intro: 43, not unsuccessful with women, but definitely not able to pull at a whim either. Social game is pretty good, but I have a good (bad) case of approach anxiety, which I'm now trying to get rid of.
I've heard that sharing some of my adventures might be an even better way of learning, so here goes!
For the last few weeks I've been going out 3-4 times per week to approach girls for an hour or two, either in city center or a park (so all day game). My approaching has gotten much better (I only break out into cold sweat half of the time now...), but I have a tendency to eject at the merest sign of discomfort.
Yesterday I went to my favorite park, which is basically a long strip. One major advantage (for me at least) is that people walk it up or down, but not sideways (too narrow), meaning you're constantly meeting new people but no chance of running into the same ones twice (getting observed to be approaching multiple girls is still quite anxiety inducing).
I'm most comfortable with direction openers (where is...?) and I used those to warm up. As mentioned, this went pretty well, but conversations tend to be short. I get my answer, I pivot to one other subject and that is generally the end of it.
I did learn a new "trick": The park has lots of semi-wild flowers growing so I plucked a bouquet to spruce up my house. Which I then turned into an opener: "I'm meeting a friend and normally I'd bring a bottle of wine but now I plucked these wild flowers. Do you think this is a decent gift?". They all said yes, that it was a much better and thoughtful gift than something store-bought. A few alluded that my friend was a lucky girl, which allowed me to say that we were strictly friends and not involved. I felt this has been the easiest opener for me so far, having something "in hand" makes a difference somehow? Staying in the conversation however was (as it generally is for me) a sticking point, something I'm aiming to improve upon.
I find that after a few sentences my mind goes blank and I feel the need to eject, to get out of the awkwardness. I've been trying to sit with the awkwardness and that helps a bit, but it's not easy. I do find that every time it goes a little bit better, so I'll continue practicing.
There is one interaction that stands out, mostly because I fucked up from the get-go. Before settling on "These (the flowers) are for a friend I'm visiting", I said "These are for a date I'm meeting"... Which I felt immediately disqualified me for any potential follow up. On the other hand, that was the longest conversation I had during the day (7 minutes?). She mentioned that she had gone on a first date where she felt a bit awkward because the guy had brought flowers and she had to walk around with them all the time. We discussed dating in general a bit and then wished each other luck with the follow-up.
Thinking back now I could've asked her phone number "In case both our dates don't work out". Some day I'll be quick enough on my feet to think of this on the spot instead of a day late...
Any comments or tips you have based on the content or how I write things down is much appreciated
I've heard that sharing some of my adventures might be an even better way of learning, so here goes!
For the last few weeks I've been going out 3-4 times per week to approach girls for an hour or two, either in city center or a park (so all day game). My approaching has gotten much better (I only break out into cold sweat half of the time now...), but I have a tendency to eject at the merest sign of discomfort.
Yesterday I went to my favorite park, which is basically a long strip. One major advantage (for me at least) is that people walk it up or down, but not sideways (too narrow), meaning you're constantly meeting new people but no chance of running into the same ones twice (getting observed to be approaching multiple girls is still quite anxiety inducing).
I'm most comfortable with direction openers (where is...?) and I used those to warm up. As mentioned, this went pretty well, but conversations tend to be short. I get my answer, I pivot to one other subject and that is generally the end of it.
I did learn a new "trick": The park has lots of semi-wild flowers growing so I plucked a bouquet to spruce up my house. Which I then turned into an opener: "I'm meeting a friend and normally I'd bring a bottle of wine but now I plucked these wild flowers. Do you think this is a decent gift?". They all said yes, that it was a much better and thoughtful gift than something store-bought. A few alluded that my friend was a lucky girl, which allowed me to say that we were strictly friends and not involved. I felt this has been the easiest opener for me so far, having something "in hand" makes a difference somehow? Staying in the conversation however was (as it generally is for me) a sticking point, something I'm aiming to improve upon.
I find that after a few sentences my mind goes blank and I feel the need to eject, to get out of the awkwardness. I've been trying to sit with the awkwardness and that helps a bit, but it's not easy. I do find that every time it goes a little bit better, so I'll continue practicing.
There is one interaction that stands out, mostly because I fucked up from the get-go. Before settling on "These (the flowers) are for a friend I'm visiting", I said "These are for a date I'm meeting"... Which I felt immediately disqualified me for any potential follow up. On the other hand, that was the longest conversation I had during the day (7 minutes?). She mentioned that she had gone on a first date where she felt a bit awkward because the guy had brought flowers and she had to walk around with them all the time. We discussed dating in general a bit and then wished each other luck with the follow-up.
Thinking back now I could've asked her phone number "In case both our dates don't work out". Some day I'll be quick enough on my feet to think of this on the spot instead of a day late...
Any comments or tips you have based on the content or how I write things down is much appreciated
