A ray of light in the darkness

[ray_zorse]

Thanks for reading boss

About not using GC lately

Have not posted in a bit. This is because I was struggling with Internet / smartphone addiction and I set myself a SMART goal that for 2 weeks I would not use certain websites except between Saturday morning and Sunday evening.

I have also been having extra time with kids to help out my ex-wife so that makes it difficult too -- I briefly got onto GC last weekend after having got kids settled on train (or so I thought) for 1hr journey to beach, well they continually pestered me for attention while I was trying to write an interesting post. I explained to kids that my expectation was for them to relax and spend some quiet time whilst I got up to date on some tasks, but they were not having it. I was starting to get looks from people on the train like I was a bad parent / smartphone addict (I see this a lot with other parents, whose kids need attention while they're texting away, and think the same thing). Hmm.

So I basically just put GC away for another week. It's not that the community isn't important to me, because it is. But I guess I haven't been posting a lot of questions, and have really more been trying to add value, it's better I concentrate on getting my own life under control before I expend effort to help others.

About my work routine

I also set myself a SMART goal that for 2 weeks I would get up at 5am and work from 6am until it's time to go to the gym (and I mean work -- not just browse the Internet, check email etc). This is to get a proper start on my day, since by the time I hit my desk after having driven across town from the gym, showered, ironed my clothes etc, it's often like 10am or 11am and I'm already tired. So if I have some tasks in progress that I can just pick up and continue with, it's a lot easier. To be honest I didn't hit my goal this morning (although I got up at 5am) but more on this later, basically the strategy is working. Sometimes the intense focused work between 5am and 7am is all I get done in the day (rest of the day can be sucked away in important errands, parenting etc), but even that helps enormously. I also saw a University counsellor to explain some of the problems I have been having and for him to help me be accountable with these goals.

About feeling lonely

Well, without GC as a crutch I felt better a lot (more alive -- would get home and do things like housework or hobbies, which had fallen by the wayside a bit, would get out more etc), but also felt worse a lot, struggled with intense loneliness, cursing the fact that I didn't have a woman in my bed, the fact that I hardly ever get messages on my phone unless I initiate it, my social life, etc.

With this kind of low mood I don't even feel like going out approaching (even though there's literally tons of hot women in the streets here and tons of awesome venues of various kinds). I felt so lonely I considered getting a pet so I would have some companionship, rejected this idea, considered advertising for some pet sitting work... or something. Actually, tonight I discovered that a few doors up towards the market, there's a Japanese-style cat cafe, so I may go there in case of low mood.

I have also been burning down all the numbers in my phone, of which there were a lot. I deleted many, but some still remained as possibilities. As follows:

1. Had a date setup with R2 who cancelled same day sending me nasty text messages. It's a shame because it's clearly an attainability issue, she has auto rejected because she thinks I'm a player / won't commit, or possibly it's a self esteem issue / relatability on her part and she feels I'm talking down to her and our lifestyles are poles apart (I'm clearly well off and she's a poor struggling student working to make ends meet)... I have done everything in my power to reassure her of the truth, which is that I genuinely cared for her, though I suppose this feeling is starting to fade due to her post-date behaviour. Trying to be attainable has hurt my value, for instance, I shouldn't have let her think she "has" me, as this has removed intrigue -- in reality I only agreed to invest some time in getting to know her, she took this to mean I want relationship, which is assuming a lot, and I should have called her out on this. But I don't think it could be a value problem, since if it was, she'd be trying to spare my ego. NEXT.

2. Had a date setup with [L], who I deliberately hadn't contacted after last time, but ran into her in the shopping mall and felt a warmth coming from her, she was looking into my eyes whilst holding my hand in a lingering touch, after this we exchanged a bit of phone tag, and had a brief chat with good feelings. Well apparently these didn't last, cos she also cancelled same day (after I moved her into the spot vacated by R2), with some excuse and hasn't been back in touch.

3. & 4. Sexy raver chick and coffee shop chick are both making excuses not to hang out too.

5. I even ran into the pair of women who had their bitch shields up at the pussy factory last week... at a tram stop... predictably they were a lot more friendly in a normal environment. I could only remember the tall one's name, pity cos she had already NEXTed me and the short one (who had her foot on the chair and wouldn't move it so I could sit down) was a lot hotter anyway. So talked to the short one for some time, discovered she works on reception at a hotel in the city etc, asked her out and persisted a little but she wasn't down. I think she might have been more receptive had she been alone, kept asking friend for permission. Unfortunately I had kids with me and they were tired / playing up, bad look.

All these women were into me at one time. All have good excuses, and one is a weed smoker, so it's easy to excuse their behaviour, but bottom line is her actions, because I'm certain she wouldn't make such excuses for the man of her dreams.

I had somehow painted a mental picture of myself as the charming rogue, seducer par excellence (on the back of the fact that I work hard in doing a lot of approaches, and that when I'm in state I can banter, sexually flirt, and so on)... and this is a great mindset to have, but it's been disappointing to find that often it doesn't accord with reality. I've had to have a very thick skin lately.

About making girls chase

So what I've been doing is rereading Chase's ebook "How to make girls chase" in my spare time, since I'm not on the site, and I've been finding it extremely valuable. What I'm concentrating on now is actually *making girls chase* which I find has not been a big part of my interactions. I suppose as a new guy I'd got into the habit of relentlessly moving stuff forwards, which is a great asset to have with women who are already into you, but does not work so well with women who are on the fence, it looks pushy. For instance, if I carry the conversations too much, pester them for dates etc, hard-push them too much, touch too much, etc.

So what I've been trying to focus on is to go in a bit lower energy and then give my full attention and engagement to them as a reward for their own attention and engagement. This means a lot less incidental touch (still some protective touch) and trying to reward them by touching on high points. It also means less eye contact and breaking eye contact more frequently, in order to appear medium bored and distracted.

Generally I'm very engaging and fun to be with, I run conversations, laugh a lot and make jokes, and I politely give my full attention and EC/body to whoever is speaking, but I haven't been making women work to earn this. Bzzzt! Wrong!

I had one insta-date since deciding to concentrate on this, and I got the low-energy part right, but in retrospect I think I forgot to reward her on high points, and overall didn't succeed in making her chase. She has since flaked, a shame cos I was really into her, sexy 18yr old English student from Colombia working a few jobs, very tight body, very cute, compliant, responded to me very well.

Fun things that happened

Although my girlfriend cancelled a planned midday sex session where I was going to give her a punishment enema and then engage in some ass play (said her husband had been looking through her phone and was angry and suspicious, causing me to regret not having been stronger about soft NEXTing her for sending incriminating text messages, something she's done again today that I'm not happy about, even though I discussed it with her *again* the other week)... she had some time ago made plans for us to attend a concert of an international trance act, and had bought the tickets for us, and had been talking it up for ages... so I arranged a babysitter and we went along. It was great.

The concert

During this night I decided that since she had bought the tickets and everything, I was going to do my utmost to give her my attention and make her feel good through the night, which meant not going off and doing other approaching etc (although she didn't demand this, it was voluntary on my part). It did mean that basically we were in body contact the entire night, just slowly moving in time to the music together whilst making friends with those around us. Very much a BF/GF scene. Despite this limitation, the following amusing things happened that night:

1. I'm getting better with eyeliner, added eye shadow too in this occasion. This got a fair bit of attention (recently got even better, I did an amazing smokey eye last night after watching some Internet videos and trying it about 5 times).

2. We ordered drinks from a sexy bargirl when we arrived, she saw me cuddling my GF while we waited for the drinks, and I think this gave a little preselection because she was eye fucking me every time I visited the bar, and acting somewhat flirtatious... so I gradually ramped it up during the night, at one stage she'd been working in another part of the venue so when she came back and went for my order I said in her ear "you didn't have to come back especially for me...", she loved this and went in to hear my order again and I said "you really are unbelievably cute aren't you..." and then kept teasing her like this, she was down. The funny part was it occurred in front of hundreds of other patrons waiting for their drinks, nobody could have heard the shit I was saying in her ear, haha.

3. Megan from an early rave report was there (girl who came up to me incredibly high energy and kissing me with tongue before pulling away, this was something to do with the fact I'd approached every woman in the vicinity and was basically using them as part of the furniture, grinding on every living soul and loving it, ahh good memories)... so I greeted her warmly and gave her a cheek kiss but she could see I was occupied with my GF and so it wasn't the moment to become better acquainted, a shame though... however I talked to Megan's friend who I'll call Alice and she was hot, deflected all her questions and she persisted a bit (investment) so that was fun. They were incredibly high energy all night, the energy in this place was awesome but they were another level again. It was hard to keep eye contact discipline and not stare at them, I'll re-approach another time.

4. I nearly got into a punch-on, I had gone to the toilet and had just got back on the dancefloor to thread my way back to my GF (it was incredibly packed), when a dude wouldn't let me past... he wouldn't let me go between him and his GF, which was ridiculous, and wanted me to go around them... well I took this as a challenge and just calmly persisted, I wasn't backing down (now that I'm a high value man I never back down from a challenge and this is working well for me). Eventually it was getting pretty tense when the bouncer intervened from behind me and told this guy to back off and let me past. I won! Haha! Dude looked really incredulous that bouncer hadn't taken his side. I think this might have been partly because my GF had been flirting with this bouncer all night, so he knew me.

5. I made friends with a pair of girls whilst I was standing behind my GF and moving with her... the first girl was eye fucking me so I blew her a kiss and she reciprocated, which was a fun interaction... second girl (who was a fatty) looked a bit left out, so shortly afterwards I did a standard approach where I took her hand and said my name into her ear and asked her name... she couldn't hear... so I went in again but this time I decided to just put my tongue in her ear and then start making love to her ear which I did, and she was down. It was hilarious, I then pulled away and tried to introduce myself in her other ear "seriously though, my name is Ray" and she couldn't hear me again, so I started grinding on her instead, this while I was still kinda grinding on my GF too, gradually transferred to new chick and spent a little time with her until she went off with her friend (spanked her on the bottom as she left)... my GF didn't realize what had happened, I later asked if she minded I go kiss this girl but by this stage the music was finishing and I couldn't find my girl. Should've just gone for it.

6. My GF showed me a note which had been left on her car, in a spot where she parks it regularly, which said "Hey good looking, I want you to know that I think about you when I'm alone. You get me incredibly hard." or similar. OMG a bit creepy but I think she liked it (actually, she has self esteem issues and watches porn and masturbates daily, and I'm sure she has thought of lots of such perverted voyeur type scenarios to get horny). It's such a shame though because this guy is probably not a bad guy, just an AFC, and he probably doesn't realize he could just go up to her when she approaches her car and say "hey there I could not help noticing how amazingly gorgeous you are, I'm blah, what's your name" etc. And that she's bored and frustrated with her sex life and might even be DTF (but she is actually somewhat fussy for somebody who is horny and watches a shitload of porn, my uni buddy wanted to fuck her, I tried to set it up, she wasn't down).

7. I fucked my GF that night on the couch while thinking of the fatty and what a great threesome it could have been (my GF's response when I asked about kissing this other girl, was to go for it, since she'd be down for a threesome, haha).

Insta-date with Colombian chick

So after not approaching for a while (actually did grab a few number here and there but nothing worth mentioning), I decided to hit it last night with some night street game, got my appearance pretty good if a little on the metrosexual side (the smokey eye, and I was wearing black boots, white pants, pink shirt, black jacket, plus my normal jewellery, cologne, and Daniel-Craig-as-James-Bond hairstyle), well it started off great, approached two chicks who turned out to be from the youth hostel (tourists/students from Queensland, heading back the following day, would've been great for a fuck/3some), walked some blocks with them, was starting to boss them around and take control of the night, when they went to get cash and didn't come back to the meeting spot, maybe I looked a little needy?

This put a slight dampener on my vibe and I got in my head and couldn't open, there were shitloads of people around as it was Chinese New Year but I think possibly I felt nervous doing "hey, stop for a moment" in a crowded street with people behind and in front trying to get past, was looking for something a bit lower energy, did a seated approach but fucked it up (cold read failure), tossed out a few humorous comments here and there but ejected quickly. I went to get something to eat and ended up even more in my head, came out again and still passed up a lot of opportunities. Went to the pussy factory and had some interesting interactions, warmed up a little but decided to leave (and do a little street game) as it was getting late. And then, the next seated opener I did, came up trumps.

This was the 18yo Colombian chick, I took her for electronic darts and it was a really fun time. This time we chose the party-games option and the party games were quite interesting, it keeps a counter for how many drinks you owe the other person and although we didn't use it literally it was a basis for a chase frame ("I'm worried you'll drink me under the table", however I pussied out on adding the next bit "and take advantage of me")... she dutifully bought the drinks for us as instructed (I paid for the games which was cheaper although I did put money upfront so I guess it was a fair bargain)... for one of the games I told her that if she lost she had to kiss me and she did, it felt great, she looked so cute doing it and her lips were a little cold from drinking beer, a nice sensation.

Anyway I was hitting windows I think, after about the 3rd or 4th game when she'd pretty much finished her beer I was concerned the vibe could go stale so I suggested going to drink tea or coffee in another place I know that's coincidentally partway to my home (funny that). She declined saying she had to get up early but she was telling the truth (explained later about the job interview she had in the morning), *but I took the initiative*, if I had just let the vibe peter out and had her say "I have to go, I have to get up early", then this would have yielded control of the interaction, as compared with myself dominantly moving things forward thus putting her in the position of excusing herself. So I smoothly responded "then we have to exchange numbers", we did this and I inquired about logistics and discovered we're almost neighbours, so I suggested we walk together.

The way home I was basically deep diving about her work, etc, I did make one misstep on the way home which was when she inquired about my day, giving her an account of my day. I think this was probably what murdered the seduction overall. I can't see many other mistakes I made, apart from briefly discussing logistics for a second meetup, this might've looked needy, but I don't think so, she seemed down although you can never really tell. I should have just brushed off her question about my day with some non-response and returned it to her. Need practice!

Possibly, my texting game wasn't on point either. Or I may have misspelled her name, which I guess could have put her off since I had to have her remind me of it a minute or so into the approach (after I realized it was gonna stick). I dunnno but I did my current standard procedure which is to send an icebreaker (it wasn't a particularly fun icebreaker, I could've made it fun), and then if no response to icebreaker try a voice call at a carefully chosen time the following day, and if that rings out then I leave no message and take no further action. Hmm.

Approaching generally

So today I was a bit pissed off with myself about approach anxiety the previous day and not having the balls to approach, and I decided to do some approaching on the way to work. It didn't go well. I was nervous, facial expressions not on point etc. Fuck, so frustrating! The first two both spoke to me and gave their name but were clearly a bit freaked. Then I got in my head a bit again. On the way back from uni and to the school to pick up kids, wasted some great opportunities. On the train I looked up approach anxiety and found this article. Golden!
http://www.sashapua.com/how-to-defeat-approach-anxiety-forever/

So I decided to put the article's advice into practice immediately and approached the first hot woman I saw, walking up the hill from the station. Went with a "cute outfit" opener and actually the conversation was a little awkward but I'm glad I did it, turned out she was married but somewhat flattered to be approached. Did a little other approaching throughout the day, a nice divorced woman with two older kids that were playing with my kids a little at the park, wish I had got her number, but it was hard to ask her out with her kids listening. Spoke to some girls that my son nearly hit with his remote control UFO, but then pussied out. Anyway, I think Sasha's advice can't always be taken literally, for instance in social circle you might not want to burn it down every time, and if you're looking after kids then you obviously have to consider their welfare primarily.

Anyway, what I'm going to do is get in the habit of approaching the first hot girl I see when I leave the house every morning, no exceptions, and try to make approaching "part of who I am" rather than "something that I do". I hope it works. It is incredibly frustrating being alone a lot, and having nobody in my bed!!

Miscellaneous

Was at the supermarket getting icecreams and afternoon snacks for my kids when we were held up at the register for an incredibly long time by some older dude trying to cash in some scratch card offers or some shit... my kids were doing what kids usually do (climbing on stuff, fidgeting, running around etc) when he told me in a tetchy way to control my children... and instead of getting defensive or trying to justify their behaviour, I handled it dominantly, laughing it off and saying "are you serious?", I actually couldn't believe he was serious. He confirmed that he was and added that he was trying to go about his shopping or whatever, I immediately came back with "no you're not, you're wasting everybody's time behind you in the queue", he was then the one to become defensive and try to explain he's engaging in a perfectly legitimate transaction, so I said "well then do it politely, would you?" and this shut him up. I love winning. No more beta.

The kinky sex session is back on. GF cancelled again today saying she's got her period, but I convinced her that it was no issue. All the more reason for ass play! I ordered/received some bits and pieces, will have to remember to try them on myself in the coming days, so that I have some idea what do with them later.

I have another date set up with my voice teacher, bit of a complicated history there and I NEXTed her but she's rang me this week wanting to catch up, also wanted to know if I want further classes but I told her I was unsure and that in any case I cannot afford them right at the moment. Then invited her to my place to hang, this a step in right direction as it's always been low investment for her, we hang at her place and she calls the shots. Will see how it goes.

 

[snipefield]

Ray, glad to read about your latest antics! Kudos on your discipline mate, I'm finding that I still get easily distracted by incessantly checking journals and FR's.

Yea, I can associate with your loneliness, but such is the ebb and flow of improving at pickup, I guess. Loved your antics at the concert with the fattie and burning it down with the Colombian chick.

Thanks for the advice and support on my journal, I have a hunch it will come in handy.

Cheers

 

[fsc]

I recall struggling with loneliness just 2-3 months ago. It was an absolutely shitty feeling. At the time, if I JUST had a friend over to lazy around on my couch and play games or watch a movie with me, then I would've felt cured.

However, Hector released that article about being alone perfectly on time with what I was going through, and I realized that I'd only be cured from the lonely feeling if I accepted it and forged on. Give it a read/reread.

cursing the fact that I didn't have a woman in my bed, the fact that I hardly ever get messages on my phone unless I initiate it, my social life, etc.

It's great to see that you hold yourself to a high standard and place pressure on yourself to achieve. That's how you reach your potential faster. I'm the same way. But close your eyes and reminisce for a minute. Think about all the crazy shit you've pulled off last year. Not many men in the world can say that they could've done what you've done. Think about how far you've come and pat yourself in the back from time to time.

I had somehow painted a mental picture of myself as the charming rogue, seducer par excellence (on the back of the fact that I work hard in doing a lot of approaches, and that when I'm in state I can banter, sexually flirt, and so on)... and this is a great mindset to have, but it's been disappointing to find that often it doesn't accord with reality. I've had to have a very thick skin lately.

Lols, I thought the same. Chase mentioned a few times that it'll take years to become good at this, and a few more additional years to become great. This is what I thought to myself. LOL...it actually does take some time to become great. So don't put yourself down because you've over-aggrandized yourself a bit in your mind. Just continue to keep your head up and forge on because next year you'll look back and chuckle because you'll be at a whole new level.

It seems like you're back on track though, so I'm not sure how relevant my blabbering was just now. But yeah, you prolly know we all feel like poop from time to time. Hope it passes soon =]

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey homies well another week has gone by and I suppose I didn't do a whole lot of game, but what little game I did do I'm quite happy with because of doing things in a slightly different way to normal.

New approach to cold approach

It feels like approach anxiety is one of my biggest sticking points at the moment, funny that, because I used to kick it by getting massive momentum, but strangely the last few times I went out specifically to approach, I started off well, but soon got in my head and failed to recover my vibe. Or didn't persist long enough or whatever. So I've been having a kind of a reboot in my mental attitude and how I consider approaching, based on the link to Sasha Daygame in previous post.

So I've had a lot of problems with excuses like "she's hot...but I'm not approaching now" or "it will take too long to get warmed up and I'm busy now" et cetera... whereas now I'm recognizing this for the kind of pussying out that it really is, and basically I'm aiming to approach every hot girl I see during the day. This hasn't been totally successful since I still usually pussy out, but at least I recognize it for what it is, and even better, I've done at least 2 or 3 good approaches daily.

I also found that when I started putting Sasha's advice into practice I wasn't aware that I was supposed to be opening direct every single time, so to save my ego when I approached throughout the day while not warmed up, I wasn't using good openers and I was basically just talking to them as if there was an existing conversation, some responded and some didn't. What I've been doing this week is using the "totally cute" opener more, this takes quite a lot of balls though.

Another sticking point is not asking for the number, did a really good approach on a street corner the other day to a girl and her friend, "I was just passing by when I noticed how amazingly cute you are and I wanted to say hello, I'm Raymond", with body language and facial expressions on point, we were both giggling a bit by the time I got my opener out, and she was cool, but we could only chat a little before getting to where she was going. Should have asked her out!!

I've been watching Sasha's videos and it seems I should put more emphasis on just making girls smile, I did this just before actually, and it felt fantastic -- has been a long hot day with kids, just got home after multiple birthday parties and changeover back to their mum... a girl was waiting to cross my driveway as I drove into my building... she caught me looking, and instead of just waving her across, instead I smiled and waved to her in a sexy way and made her laugh. I mean I could have got out of my car after I parked and chased her down, she was cute but that wasn't the point, the point was I made her smile! Hehehe.

I approached several girls in the last week with whom I got on well, and who turned out to be from Sydney, and whose numbers I grabbed... so I put in motion a plan I've had for a while, which is I'm going to go to Sydney with no credit cards and only enough cash for some drinks and bus tickets etc... and get a homeless pickup on. It's booked for the coming Friday->Sunday, a week away. So hopefully I'll soon be a homeless PUA, I was gonna try to set up some dates with these Sydney chicks before leaving but it seems both have flaked, I'm not too concerned though because I think that would distract from being 100% in the moment.

I've also booked some coaching with Sasha Daygame, not he personally but one of his staff. The reason I did that was I sent a request for clarification on whether I should be opening direct every single time (answer seems to be yes) and got a voice call from these dudes, they seem very keen for the business so I decided to give them a chance. So I'll have a Skype session with Austin White and see if he can identify some of my sticking points and give some advice.

One approach I didn't do this week that I regret. I saw her walking towards me, a cute Chinese chick but I rationalized it to myself "well she's only cute" and that her clothes didn't seem to offer much scope for a compliment (cutoff shorts and a t-shirt)... and by the time she got closer I was thoroughly in my head and had decided not to approach... well she checked me out as she passed, I checked her out too and then she looked down and I should've pulled the trigger. Fuck.

There's also a bit of other dating related activity in my life beside cold approach.

Fannying about with my voice coach, an older lady but okay

This woman I have been intimite with, but haven't fucked yet despite wasting a fair bit of time hanging out with her, TBH I cannot really say this time will be any different (a problem is not having built sufficient compliance with her, it was hard to order her around while she was my teacher)... anyway she can be a bit of a whinger at times but is basically pretty good company so I'm having her over for dinner this week, she rescheduled last week. No high expectations but we'll see.

Fannying about with [L], an early cold approach I had NEXTed

So the saga continues with [L], it's quite bizarre because she's now firmly in chasing mode, I NEXTed her on Franco's advice around September/October last year after about 4 dates with little progress, date compression didn't seem to be solving the problem, and the last date she brought a friend along and told me at the last minute which I wasn't that happy about.

So then she randomly called me around December/January and wanted to hang out, so I exchanged a warm phone chat with her and then swiftly set up a date near my home, in the course of which I pulled her home with plausible deniability, built a little compliance (but not enough), and then attempted to escalate, which resulted in her running away before I could even get a kiss, so I just showed her the door and NEXTed again!

Then nothing till I ran into her in the shopping centre the other day (months later), kissed her on the cheek and held hands and briefly talked to her, she seemed even more keen to hang out, did not seem to want to let me go... so we exchanged some more warm phone calls and set up another date, which she cancelled on the day.

So NEXTed again, but now she's been messaging me almost every day to ask if I'm free to hang out, and each time I tell her she can come and hang with me and my kids and we'll either drive her home later when I drop the kids, or else we'll watch Vietnamese films while the kids are sleeping, no go... So no doubt she'll contact me again this week and I'm at a bit of a crossroads. She wants to meet for coffee and I can either
(a) meet her for coffee and try to pull her home with plausible deniability (but I feel my options are rather limited there, as I already blew my load so to speak); or
(b) tell her I spend too much time in coffee shops as it is, they're expensive and not comfortable or private and I see no point furthering our relationship in a coffee shop, so if she wants to hang out she's to come over and do it in an environment where we can realistically spend time together (i.e. my house).

The kinky sex session with my GF

This went really well, I had been thinking of re-activating the master/slave fantasy or the father/daughter fantasy but decided to go with something different, since I happened to be wearing my biker jacket that day I accused her of running with a rival gang and taking cocaine and being gangbanged in their clubhouse and so on (I made up a fictional rival gang called the Tomahawks), this fantasy did not really take, but it provided sufficient excuse for some rather unusual punishment.

So what happened was I helped her park her car and then we kissed a bit in the lift, and then because we hadn't eaten I made us a sandwich and poured a beer into two glasses (I ordered her to pass me various things and got flippant responses in return which pissed me off, she's another woman with whom I haven't built sufficient compliance and it really bothers me, I should have slapped her around a bit for that, but as mentioned I was trying a different fantasy and I was trying to be dominant in a more suave way). So then I tied her hands behind her back and sat her down on the couch and fed her her sandwich and beer, followed by ordering her to get on her knees and suck my cock which she did. After a little kissing and fingerbanging etc I then made above-mentioned accusation and told her to wait in my bedroom whilst I prepare her punishment (in future I may try a blindfold and have her in the same room while I do it).

So she could hear a lot of moving around the apartment and some clinking of glass and my opening various packages and setting things up, and no doubt was really wondering what was going on... eventually I brought her into the bathroom where I had laid out towels on the floor, and I showed her her enema bag in which I had prepared 2 litres of solution. I had her kneel over my knees and pulled her dress up and inserted an enema tube in her ass. I made her take a litre, and then hold it for 20 minutes, she was groaning a bit and when I massaged her stomach it felt very hard. I made her beg to be allowed to expel the solution and then I left the room while she did it. When I came back in she was still on the toilet so I had her suck my dick for a bit and then asked her if she wanted her arse filled with cum. She did. But she wanted a round 2 (didn't want me to see her shit and recalling the book "Life of Pi", inspecting someone's shit is a very dominant move so I should have insisted on it)... So I put her back into position and gave her the remaining one litre, and made her hold it for 10 minutes this time. While she held it I gently washed her whole pubic region with soap and water to remove any shitty traces, and then licked her clit until she came twice.

After I let her expel the second lot of solution then she was ready to go, so I had her lube up my dick while she was sitting on the toilet, this felt good, very slippery and her hands were cold. But now she wanted me to use a condom, okayy so I put it on and added a whole lot more lube on top, think I used too much lube and I also lost some of my boner, had a fair bit of trouble getting it in her arse (she was on all fours on the towels in the bathroom, I was on my knees) but basically we were good to go. Strangely it did not really feel any different than vaginal sex and TBH I was not really feeling it so after a while I decided to stop for a bit, explaining that I was not really feeling it... she asked "is it not tight enough?" and honestly, what could I say to that... "oh yeah sorry baby your arse is too loose"... noooo I said "haha well if it was it would mean we've prepared very well then"... so I whipped the condom off and had her suck on me until I was rock hard (she is good at this and I find it helps me to get in the moment)... then I went in raw and it was fucking awesome, I felt like king dick and fucked that arse hard baby, she loved it too...

Really got in the moment and could feel my orgasm building and sustaining for a long period, completely filled that arse with come, after I came I started laughing uncontrollably which was maybe not the politest thing to have done, but I explained that it was a release of tension and that it had felt fucking amazing (I often laugh after sex)... the best thing was after staying around for quite a while, when I eventually withdrew, my dick was clean as a whistle, no shit dick whatsoever. Okay so I highly recommend a bit of enema punishment prior to arse play, the buildup of anticipation is really great and so on... earlier in my journal I recommended a book about enema/arse play, cannot remember the title now but although I changed a lot of things it was a useful overview. This whole scenario went a lot better than I would have expected, considering I've never had anal sex before, or administered an enema (it's helpful to have a sympathetic partner). My GF told me that she felt fantastic, and also that she had been planning to have a colonic and I had saved her $150, also wanted her own kit for home. She has been sending me sexy messages every day since then, I wish she wouldn't do this for security reasons, but it's still kind of flattering to have pleased her. Oh yeah forgot to mention I took her into my bedroom after all this, and rewarded her with some more orgasms by fingering her and using the vibrator and so forth.

Tall sexy new student in my research group

I'll call her Mariela, she is from Iran and she's hot. Maybe early to mid 20s and long sexy dark hair, sexy eye makeup too. Anyway I met her quite a few weeks back at a mixer for postgraduate students, of course I instantly approached her as she was the hottest girl in the room and she was talking to another student I vaguely knew who I'd met at the last mixer, a relatively new student from Iran also. I couldn't remember the other one's name but we renewed our acquaintaince, then I started to flirt a bit with Mariela, going very direct and probably adding some touch etc (I cannot remember). Discovered to my shock that Mariela and I have the same supervisor, which gave me a bit of pause, but anyway eventually moved on and forgot about her, well she came to my desk last week wanting some help with her research (I later bumped into a mutual friend, who told me she had sent Mariela to me for help, and that Mariela had been struggling a little with her research since arriving in September... the mutual friend is also Iranian and part of the birthday club we've set up on 6th floor, so we know each other quite well, the mutual friend also knows that I enjoy reading people's draft papers and reports, helping them with their English, and that kind of thing).

So the when Mariela came to me for help, to be honest I was a bit beta, started off well by touching her, ordering her out of the room and having her sit in a certain place, telling her I liked her eye makeup and that kind of thing, then ordering her to go and print out her work and bring it back to me and so forth, but when I suggested to walk to the union building so I could buy a hearing aid battery and that we'd look at her work on the way, she wasn't down, making excuses and I wish that I had stuck to my frame but instead I caved and did it her way. So we ended up going to her office where although I could not hear her too well (she was speaking in a very tiny voice and one of my hearing aids was not working since battery was flat), I played around with her computer for 5min or so and solved her problem which was easy (but I missed an opportunity for compliance building by directing her what to type and so forth, saved a lot of time however). As we entered her office, I was getting eye contact from another male who was standing up, which I held for a bit, and then greeted him with a friendly "hi" as recommended by Chase. Since I'm now a lot more socially savvy I reckon this means this other male officemate of hers fancies her, and wondered my status.

Apart from not sticking to my frame (should have told her if she wants my help she has to walk to union building with me, because I require a hearing aid battery in order to be able to help her), another reason I think I was beta was that I was a bit too keen to help further after solving the initial problem, which seemed a bit too easy. Of course, I just wanted to spend more time with her, but this was kinda hiding the banana. And I don't think she wanted me to realize she was struggling, and she wanted to be independent now that her problem was solved. Luckily, it does not seem to have done much damage since I quickly left it alone and returned downstairs to my work. Well, it was a bit of a shame I didn't get her number. So I was thinking of returning the following week to ask her out, although I felt that I was in danger of being friendzoned, since we'd had this kinda friendly interaction, lacking sexual tension, and I had acted kinda like orbiter.

So the next thing that happened was I met her at another postgraduate mixer a few days later, this time my supervisor was there to introduce her to everyone and there was also another new student in our research group, who seemed like a good guy. I was mainly talking to other people, including the organizer of the mixer who was looking stunning that day, a Chinese postgrad who I've gradually been becoming friendly with, as I try to get involved in the postgraduate society to help organize events etc. It got down to only her, Mariela and the other new student, when I told Mariela I'd be interested to hear what she decided about the research (instead of solving the next problem with my help, she'd been planning to throw it to our supervisor) and suggested I'd call in the following morning. She said she had orientation at that time, so I took the chance to grab her number. Fuck yeah, although I kinda hid the banana... which I had not been planning to do, I wanted to ask her out very dominantly for the purpose of spending time together and I didn't, to be fair these other students were present. She asked if I was taking her number to talk about the research, and I said in a fairly offhand manner "...among other things" although I'm not sure how much she picked up on my meaning here, overall it was pretty weak. So basically, although I had her number now, I was kinda feeling things had not gone the way I wanted them to...

Well so I was just gonna leave it for a bit, but on the spur of the moment the following day, while walking in the street, I decided to ring her and see how things looked. I looked at my watch and it was 13:15 and I figured she'd be on lunch break. Perfect. Well she answered after a few rings (I had basically expected it to go to message) and so after a little small talk (how was the orientation, etc) I took a deep breath and told her "I asked you for your number so we'd be able to talk without all the other students listening, and because I thought it would be fun to spend time together", she seemed down so I asked her out for the Sunday, she couldn't do it but I'm convinced she was legit, was explaining a fair bit about her plans for the weekend. I returned the favour (bad move?), but she had trouble understanding what I was telling her about my son's birthday party etc, so I took the opportunity to tease her a bit which went well. I also took the opportunity to check logistics (she lives near me). We arranged to talk early in the week and set things up then. She did not seem to want to get off the phone. Good going!!

Overall...

So that's about where things are at.

I'm probably over invested with Mariela, have been thinking about her a lot lately and this is a bad thing to do. Fuck. She is cute and friendly and smart though. So I hope I am able to be discreet enough and to get over my cautiousness (=result of over investedness) and get some fun and flirting happening.

I'm also going to hit the cold approach hard this week, by leaving for all my appointments half an hour early and approaching all the hot women I see. I'm going to focus on doing things that make people smile or just human-to-human contact like if I'm walking past someone I'll just randomly say "hey can I get a high five".

I'll post the results of my Skype coaching with the Sasha Daygame coach... Whilst Chase is pretty much my idol, I think I need a bit of specialist input, since my focus is really on daygame and making it go well (not that I don't enjoy nightgame, but nightgame is hard work and can be a test of the ego).

In my conversations I'm going to focus on my bored vibe, whilst becoming more animated and adding touch when women chase (such as asking me questions about myself or qualifying themselves to my screens). I'm also going to focus on adding more hand movements and adding touch earlier in the interaction.

Finally I'm going to focus on asking for the number or setting up the date -- before I approach, for at least some of my approaches, I'm going to commit to getting a number or getting blown out. This will depend a bit on who she is and the circumstances, but if I commit to getting a number a priori, I will do it.

Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement in the last few journal posts, it means a lot to me that my buddies are reading this and I of course do the same.

 

[Smith]

Hey ray,

It feels like approach anxiety is one of my biggest sticking points at the moment, funny that, because I used to kick it by getting massive momentum, but strangely the last few times I went out specifically to approach, I started off well, but soon got in my head and failed to recover my vibe. Or didn't persist long enough or whatever. So I've been having a kind of a reboot in my mental attitude and how I consider approaching, based on the link to Sasha Daygame in previous post.

So I've had a lot of problems with excuses like "she's hot...but I'm not approaching now" or "it will take too long to get warmed up and I'm busy now" et cetera... whereas now I'm recognizing this for the kind of pussying out that it really is, and basically I'm aiming to approach every hot girl I see during the day. This hasn't been totally successful since I still usually pussy out, but at least I recognize it for what it is, and even better, I've done at least 2 or 3 good approaches daily.

I also found that when I started putting Sasha's advice into practice I wasn't aware that I was supposed to be opening direct every single time, so to save my ego when I approached throughout the day while not warmed up, I wasn't using good openers and I was basically just talking to them as if there was an existing conversation, some responded and some didn't. What I've been doing this week is using the "totally cute" opener more, this takes quite a lot of balls though.

I can totally understand how hard it is to try make talking to girls your daily routine, because there's always some smart excuses. I'm pretty much doing the same thing putting Sasha's advice into practice, and I found that one thing that really helps me to remove that last minute "excuse" is to stop using the word "open" and "approach". Because using that language puts you into this "pickup" mode, so when you're not in that "pick up" mode, you feel like you can't talk to girls. Removing these language and replace it with just everyday words helps a lot. You can just simply say anything to start the conversation and take it from there. I still get a little nervous from time to time, but at least it's not as bad as before. Another thing I do is to reinforce my "giving" mindset. Like you said, it feels good to just make a girl smile. So when I realize I get "approach anxiety", I know I'm coming from a place of deficiency that I need to get something from her, so reminding myself that I'll still have what I'm giving, i.e. good sexual energy, even if she doesn't want it helps calm me down a lot. Basically imagine yourself like a pool of infinite good energy.

I have the same problem of not grabbing numbers when I was supposed to. Just the other day, I was vibing really well with this girl, but didn't grab her number because she thought I was leaving the interaction so she ejected just when I was just about to exchange number with her =( This feeling sucks because I thought I had fix this problem before, but I guess you always have to go back to the basics and be more trigger pulling.

I've also booked some coaching with Sasha Daygame, not he personally but one of his staff. The reason I did that was I sent a request for clarification on whether I should be opening direct every single time (answer seems to be yes) and got a voice call from these dudes, they seem very keen for the business so I decided to give them a chance. So I'll have a Skype session with Austin White and see if he can identify some of my sticking points and give some advice.

I'm curious if "opening" direct is the way to go every single time though, because it could get awkward if you're going to be in the same room with a girl for a long time. Would be curious to know how they explain. I haven't heard of Austin White, but I'm sure he's good if he learned from Sasha.

I approached several girls in the last week with whom I got on well, and who turned out to be from Sydney, and whose numbers I grabbed... so I put in motion a plan I've had for a while, which is I'm going to go to Sydney with no credit cards and only enough cash for some drinks and bus tickets etc... and get a homeless pickup on. It's booked for the coming Friday->Sunday, a week away. So hopefully I'll soon be a homeless PUA, I was gonna try to set up some dates with these Sydney chicks before leaving but it seems both have flaked, I'm not too concerned though because I think that would distract from being 100% in the moment.

Let us know how this adventure turns out. I would be keen to know if girls in Sydney are any different from girls in Melbourne. Although in my last 3 weeks there, girls had been more receptive to me. It could be due to my change in mindset. But there sure is plenty of cute girls over there. Good luck

 

[snipefield]

Ray,

Glad to read about your recent adventures. That sex session was epic, I almost had to stop reading it because it was too much! hehe

Homeless pickup-up, what a creative idea!

You've got an uncanny knack for recognizing elements to work on that are applicable to me as well. Specifically, I'm referring to making the girl smile. I'm working on sexualizing my interactions now during the initial meet. I think the next level will be combining that with making the girl smile to put her at ease.

 

[ray_zorse]

I have not journaled in ages, I documented my Sydney adventure in the FRs board but other than that, things are going great, I have about 3 or 4 girls in play atm -- that doesn't mean I'm banging them it means I'm in the process of setting up dates, all have complicated routine since it's start of semester etc.

Dawn -- works in Japanese shop near campus (although she's Chinese), mathematics student, got a flirt on at the start of the year, randomly went in some months later and she was strongly hinting I grab her number which I did. Since then we've had a few tries at setting up a date but had to reschedule. She seems keen, I have quite a text-message flirt going, lots of sexual innuendo although recent texts were all on logistical matters.

Juliette -- approached her the other day in city in her workout gear, by telling her I had to tuck in the tag of her workout top, politics student at my uni (lucky that), walked with her quite a few blocks as we were heading the same way and got a little deep diving in, surprisingly after setting up a date for today and then conversing a bit longer and telling her to give me a kiss goodbye she pulled me into a pretty warm hug and kissed me, I didn't expect that. Didn't respond to icebreaker but I perservered and added a little attainability (telling her I'd been thinking about her the previous days and it would be fun to resume our conversation), she was down, apologizing for late response. Saw her today in normal clothes, looked good. Interestingly I randomly bumped into her at the tram stop on the way to uni (during our text exchange haha), I did not recognize her at first, but we got it sorted and had a mini-date on the way to uni. She flaked on the main date which could indicate she wasn't impressed after the mini-date and changed her mind, but I am pretty sure that she is sincere, her mum was sick and had to go to hospital. So she says she will contact me to reschedule. I'm looking forward to that.

Leticia - I've referred to her as [L] in previous reports (I think I had some other name for her at one stage but I've forgotten it)... well it's been 6 months of fucking around but finally had a makeout and she messages me every day to say goodnight and she misses me. Hmm. I wrote a detailed summary of the situation with Leticia here: https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=9760

Yumi - Grabbed an insta-date with her from the supermarket the other night when I went in to buy stuff for kids lunches, went with a totally cute opener and she loved it, turns out she was in the supermarket just killing time (not buying anything) while waiting for her train home, so she was down to come and play darts and this was really fun. I then took her to sit on a bench and talk about her life in Japan (she's a nurse) and other things, she seemed keen to set up another date and we exchanged some text, however I have tried voice calling her yesterday (switched off) and today (no answer) so I'm not quite sure what's going on there. I started a little sexy-nurse flirt by text and she did not seem to object. Will persevere...

A few others that I'm not optimistic about... Anna, Patience, Elle... have not really had time to contact them since I've been triaging and they've probably gone cold but I might get to it eventually.

I saw a tall Chinese girl with glasses and a cute outfit at the postgraduate mixer today, but was talking, and she was gone before I could approach, however, G-man says she's in his research group, so hopefully I will see her again.

Grabbed two more numbers tonight, I went out approaching after Juliette flaked (something I try not to do these days, but I disguised it with a little shopping for some new shirts haha). I had lots of interesting interactions.

The first number was a paralegal sitting on a bench having a cigarette while waiting for bartending class, have sent her an icebreaker, she was cute and interesting but I won't be too heartbroken if she doesn't respond, she did seem pretty keen to be approached though.

The other number was an interesting case, I wasn't super attracted but I was out with G-man having a meal and we started a group chat (I liked other waitress better and got as far as establishing other waitress was from Newcastle, UK)... G-man says he was about to ask for the number when I jumped in and did it, although it was way late in the conversation and she was about to go... anyway he now says he's not that keen on her so I suppose I will give it a shot, I thought she was decently cute but I am starting from way behind the 8-ball since I didn't open direct and will now have to establish some attainability and that I am actually serious about her, since it looked like a pretty half-hearted and friendly approach. Just sent icebreaker that referred to her cute eye makeup, better late than never I guess?

Overall I'm happy with where things are at, but I reckon I need some fresh and hotter chicks, so I'm not going to let up on the approaching, I tend to do at least one approach on the way to the tramstop every morning and this gets me started.

I really want to try the techniques in this post: https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=9746. It really frustrates me that I'm not good at making girls chase.

 

[ocantu1987]

Been reading your journal ray, ive had a few setbacks too and reading your post seeing how much you approach, im feeling motivated again. Im getting my ass out again and approach!

 

[ray_zorse]

Thanks ocantu.

Are u referring to the earlier stuff where I used to go out at like 3~5pm and approach 20 or 30 girls before it got dark and then hit the clubs and do the same thing till like 3~5am? Cos I'd definitely recommend that to a beginner, if there's ever a feeling of being stuck for something to say or whatever you need massive practice with hundreds of women.

Or, are you referring to recently when I integrate it into my activities (Sasha Daygame idea)? Cos this is another thing to do. ATM I have a terrible head cold and felt miserable for the better part of the day, wasn't at all in the mood for any long interactions or using touch, but I still complimented at least 10 women, just to stay in the game so to speak, also did a brief version of usual cafe routine when I decided to treat myself to a breakfast:
1. Compliment the cashier on her eye makeup.
2. Correctly cold read her as being French based on accent.
3. Later tell a customer that she looks fantastic and absolutely amazing, in hearing of others.
4. Finally chat with / tease the barista a little about her muscles from working the machine all day.
5. Also make them smile with remarks like "I want to order another serve just so I can take a picture" and so forth.

I'll write a proper summary later, but anyway Leticia is golden, and a surprise prospect turned up when I Skype dated Sayuri, a JP girl from Cairns I met during the homeless pickup, the Skype date went well as I threw continual chase and sexual frames at her e.g. she's a nurse and I said "you take very good care of the man patients, very good care", also explained that when I get sick I require an "eroi na-su" (sexy nurse), pulling my shirt tight over my chest to indicate "oppai" (breasts) and I need "mijikai ska-tsu" (short skirt)... etc... and she's very strong so I suggested that when I come to Cairns I had better not get sick because if she pins me to the bed I will not be able to escape... et cetera, kept up this kind of shit for half an hour or so interspersed with a little deep diving and checking logistics, storytelling, complimenting her beautiful black eyes, etc... it went great, we were both crying with laughter most of the time, so I decided to act fast and spent today texting her on and off to arrange I'll drop in to see her in 3wks after I make a trip to Japan I've been planning to make at an appropriate time. I'm gonna go to Osaka to practice Kansai dialect, see cherry blossoms and do homeless pickup. I checked all flights and ordered a new passport today. I will book tomorrow after she confirms having got time off work.

Ray

 

[ocantu1987]

Sounds like what im about to do haha i plan on daygaming then hitting up some bars at night. The problem i got is money, im dressing the best I can, but I still need some shoes and shirts haha doing my best. I also like to buy shots for girls at a bar cause then I can use my best bar opener "I was going to take a shot, do you ladies want to join me?" its worked several times for me, but im too broke, i know chase doesnt recommend buying drinks. So i got to figure out a way around that.

Still reading your journal ray, maybe I can learn some things from you since you are an approach machine

 

[ray_zorse]

I probably wouldn't go with the shots, one problem is although slcohol sure will give you a short term boost, if you are planning to go out for like 8+ hours then you will feel more tired as the alcohol wears off. So longer term it's hurting you. Also you need to get out of the habit of buying women's company. Again, a short term boost (you get to chat and flirt with them) but longer term it hurts your confidence.
Ray

 

[ray_zorse]

I forgot to mention that instead of "Share a shot with me" a better opener would be "You are gorgeous. I wanted to meet you". I'm a firm believer in always going direct unless you are just being friendly & have no romantic interest. Also bear in mibd that never having spoken to them you have no idea of their personality and all you know of them is their looks. So at that stage it's not unreasonable to judge a book by its cover, so to speak, and to be completely honest & open about doing so.
Ray

 

[ocantu1987]

I forgot to mention that instead of "Share a shot with me" a better opener would be "You are gorgeous. I wanted to meet you". I'm a firm believer in always going direct unless you are just being friendly & have no romantic interest. Also bear in mibd that never having spoken to them you have no idea of their personality and all you know of them is their looks. So at that stage it's not unreasonable to judge a book by its cover, so to speak, and to be completely honest & open about doing so.
Ray

interesting ray, i heard some guys go indirect during bar game instead daygame direct. I like going direct haha.

 

[ray_zorse]

Those guys have a point. Nightgame is actually a place you don't need to push too hard, since by definition if you are there in that environment and you approach her, then you probably want to fuck her. Therefore I definitely wouldn't choose a wordy opener "I was blah blah blah and I noticed blah blah blah and I wanted to blah blah blah"... simply, "hey..like your top..I'm Ray" or "hey..you are cute..I'm Ray" suffices just fine... but "hi there..I'm Ray" is almost as good in my view. You can always sprinkle in compliments later if it seems warranted. It can be good to go a little situational like so: "hi there, I noticed you just now..I was hoping you would get off the phone so I could talk to you..I'm Ray"... so you've said you noticed her (subtle but direct opener)..and thrown in something she was doing..etc.
Ray

 

[ray_zorse]

I have not journaled in a bit, I wasn't really feeling the need, my approaching was going great, as I was making a concerted effort to train myself to approach anywhere, anytime and it really helps, I was hardly feeling any anxiety at all. But then I got sick for a week, with a tummy bug followed by a bad cold/flu. During and after being sick I've had trouble committing to interactions, I still do a lot of compliment-eject and have incidental conversations of varying length with women of varying hotness without having opened direct, but I haven't really got in the saddle again, so I need to address that.

Leticia

I wrote a fair bit about Leticia in various places around the boards, situation was kind of making me anxious so I thought about it a lot and these thoughts leaked out here and there while writing on unrelated matters. Most recently I wrote about a time pressure when I availed myself of another PU opportunity despite already having plans with Leticia. And how I probably could have laid both girls if I hadn't decided to be a gentleman (mistake on my part).

So cutting a long story short Leticia was unimpressed at being told I see other women and the talk went a lot more beta for me than I expected, we still had a brief makeout but she then went home and I felt I had blown it. I did feel good for having salved my conscience and not operated from fear, but I crashed the next day, and slid into a depression which rapidly got worse as I was still sick, did not hit my targets for the week, did not go to work etc, most of all just hated myself for being dependent on external validation. The whole thing made me realize I still have inner game work to do. I had gotten a little sloppy about attending the co-dependents group, the shame work I plan to do and other self improvement.

Luckily for me, Leticia wasn't too put off, went quiet for a day or two and on the second day I called her as I normally would and rebuilt some attainability, not sure if this helped or if she's just keen, but anyway she reciprocated a few days later and called me, at a time when I was lying on my bed feeling miserable and I was grateful for this. (I had been about to text her, despite knowing it would be veering into chasing territory). So we had our usual 10min catchup and then I set up a date for the following day, which was to take her to Botanical Gardens (I didn't suggest my home because I wanted to show I was for real and not just trying to use her for sex). I was planning to take her to her home after the sunset.

Well fortunately the weather was not good so we met at Starbucks in the afternoon (I left work early after the regular postgraduate mixer function). I got some sexual flirting in and some compliance building and felt I was on firmer ground. She then attended a Mass while I returned to the office for a bit, then we grabbed pho together (Leticia is Vietnamese). Got some more sexual flirting in during the meal and then I suggested the Observation Wheel (ginormous Ferris wheel thing in Docklands) but she had already been, so we decided on bowling which was nearby.

I put her on the scorecard as "Sexy" just to tease her a bit. She was pretty confident of her ability so I told her that if she loses she will be my slave for the rest of the day. "No deal" she replied, but I continued to tease her about this relentlessly, as well as getting physical of course. Turns out in the next lane there was a beautiful Chinese woman with her Aussie boyfriend (seemed very boring and beta), I spoke to her and discovered I had cold approached her in the city at some point, she remembered my name even, hahaha. I told the bf about the slave game, but he failed to get on board with it...

Leticia and I finished pretty early and so we just sat on the couches talking and tickling each other and grabbing a mini makeout, I then told her we should hang out at mine for a bit and then I'd take her home in the car from there. She was moderately down but just to be on the safe side I stuck to pull talk and didn't engage when she asked where we were going (actually she was just asking the way, but I was concerned for a moment that she might have misunderstood and would cockblock herself).

So we got home and went straight upstairs to commence a makeout (fortunately she wanted to put her phone on charge and the charger was by my bed anyway). This went great, however I had fapped that morning (still in depressed mode, even though I felt a bit better having set up the date), and was conscious of not being as hard as I should have been. I find dominance really turns me on, so after kissing her for a bit and escalating I told her that since I had won the game she would now have to be tied up, and got some ropes out, well I explained the safe word and persisted like fuck and got as far as tying up one wrist but she wouldn't let me tie the other end to the bedpost unfortunately. Wash rinse repeat a few times but she was not having it.

Eventually after she gave me a long handjob with lotion (and vice versa) I got up and tried to tie her up again, then told her that she was extremely disobedient and would need to be spanked, put her over my knee and spanked her hard on her bare bottom about 5 or 6 times, she wriggled away but I grabbed her again and repeated the process, I then had her feel my dick which was instantly in much better shape, and told her "this is what you get when you get a spanking". I lay back down and just played with her briefly, then when she was kneeling beside me, and completely not expecting it, I just grabbed one of her legs, pulled it over my body and sat her down on my hard dick, it felt fantastic and I got about 3 or 4 pumps in before her thought processes kicked in and she climbed off again. I looked at her extremely reproachfully through narrowed sexy eyes and said "Oh, Leticia..." and then I pushed her down on the bed and fucked her in adapted missionary, she didn't resist except after a minute or so she looked really shocked and said "Oh no! I will have baby"... so I grabbed a condom which had been sitting by my bed for this purpose since Sunday (had checked the lube and it hadn't dried up so it was good to go), and then fucked her with that. All good, both totally in the moment, she absolutely loved it and my big Western dick felt good in her tiny Asian pussy haha. It's hard to know if she came during foreplay and/or sex but my money is she did, multiple times, but kinda silently (if not then something put her off when she was nearly there?).

Okay so we cuddled a long time and then got dressed again and she helped me clean the house (!) and then I took her home, we were laughing a lot and joking in the car. I was sure to let her know of my genuine appreciation for all the kind things she did. I really like Leticia and I plan to make her my gf. I was not too certain if I could trust my feelings but I have since come to the conclusion the yardstick is the emotions I feel when I am with her, and they are 100% great.

Other matters

I will write more about my upcoming trip to Japan and Cairns and the girls in Cairns and Melbourne I'm talking to atm.

 

[ocantu1987]

nice man! compliance is something i got to try more often, take the lead. i could of done that more last night, i was dancing with a shy girl and i felt i could have led her outside to talk or get her number. Didnt go well unfortunately.

you never ask permission right ray?

 

[ray_zorse]

Hi guys.

I haven't journalled in ages, and I am not really seeing a need at the moment since my game has improved a lot, I have laid 5 new girls this year and I feel I am doing something right. I just need to keep doing it. My approaching is sort of on/off at the moment, I did quite a few approaches today while out and about but didn't really commit to the interactions, OTOH I have as much female attention as I can handle at the moment, haha.

I could still tighten up my game a lot, to summarize: My last sticking point was asking girls for a date and I got that solved a few months ago. My current sticking point has been making girls chase, by subtly rewarding chasing behaviour and doing takeaways if they get aloof, and that's still a work in progress, however I have not really been actively focusing on it, since I am getting dates and lays in any case.

At the moment I have 2 girls in my rotation and my dick is sore, I just got home from a dirty weekend in another Australian city in which I fucked my new gf in countless locations and different ways (she is submissive and open minded), which was on my way home from holiday in Osaka. I went to Osaka specifically to do cold approach and I had awesome fun doing it. I got a lay in a love hotel with an incredibly cute and charming younger girl (after a date in which we had Japanese barbecue=yakiniku, then pool and darts, followed by a sake bomb+deep conversation in a bar), and several makeouts. Tonight saw my regular gf which was very fun, she's such a good girl and so conservative, also had her period and gave me a lot of resistance since she thought it was dirty, but was a fucking animal when aroused, as she missed me a lot, I think she was actually trying to eat me, hehe. Gradually we are shifting her boundaries -- had never had her cunt licked before tonight, nor experienced an orgasm it seems.

A problem I am having is that although I'm not keen to settle down and I want to keep improving my game, plus I see hot chicks all the time and wouldn't like to have my hand tied behind my back, my relationships are very bf/gf like, I am naturally very affectionate and I also do not like the sterility of the classical FWB relationship (you only meet for sex and you do zero bf/gf stuff together), for instance during the weekend away we did basically everything together, I treated her to several expensive dinners (she's an auto invester and paid for many other things though) and we did sightseeing and hiking and go-karting and picnics and so on. And my gf in my city has met my kids and my mum, I invited her to beach house a few weeks ago and I am taking her to the country this Sunday for some tourism and to drink tea with my uncle and see his country house / gardens etc. Having them meet the rest of my family is a nogo area at the moment, but going on fun activity-filled dates is not something I'm planning to give up.

Also, I feel there is a congruence issue, for instance a new girl that I met in Kansai International Airport who happened to be travelling to my city has mesaged me today confirming her wish for me to take her to the zoo to see koalas this week. So if I take her out on a fun date and then lay her and then I won't take her on any more dates except coming over for sex in my home, I feel it would be kind of mean.

So I'm just going to go my own way on this -- both my regular girls know we are not exclusive, both of them would like exclusivity but aren't actively pushing for it at the moment. Hmm. I feel I may be heading for disaster, but if so I will have to learn it for myself, because I'm not satisfied with the advice I read, I need to find through trial and error a relationship style that works for me. I'm hoping that my natural high value will be enough to carry the situation, both my girls are really in love with me, which is kind of bad because it risks hurting their feelings in the long term, but kind of good because if they want me bad enough they should be willing to share. I basically just make sure that I uphold the boyfriend-like frame I have set with both girls, by calling them regularly, making time for them, giving my whole attention during that time, i.e. basically being attainable.

ocantu: You have to lead responsibly. For instance you make the plan to eat in a steak restaurant. Then you say "I feel like steak tonight. Is steak okay for you?" and she should say yes, then you direct her to the restaurant. Good leadership is inclusive. However, if it's something she wants to do but thinks she doesn't (such as fucking you on the first date) then obviously you would not want to be asking for her input on that. Hehe.

 

[Mr. Wes]

Hey Ray, good job on the lay in Osaka. I was hoping to see a detailed LR or FR on your adventures there. How was it? You already know I'm heading there this weekend. Just curious about what I'm in for/where to go/ what to do. I'll only be there for 1 day so I want to be prepared (and not waste my visit there)

Wes

 

[ray_zorse]

The 3 places I enjoyed hung out were called Umeda, Namba and Tennouji. They are connected by the red subway line which is called Midosuji and runs north/south (Umeda is north, Namba is central and Tennouji is south). If you are only there for 1 day I'd recommend to you Namba.

The underground Namba station is on the Midosuji line and is absolutely huge, there are lockers near the station gates where you can leave your bag which will free up hands for getting physical with girls (north gate, central gate, south gate all look pretty similar so there's potential for confusion, remember where you left your bag). The amount of traffic is incredible and lots of girls are just waiting around to meet friends etc, so it's easy to talk to them, although they will obviously eject when their friends arrive etc. However, they're often good for a date later on ("yakusoku").

From the underground station make your way to the above-ground Nankai Namba station (it should be well sign posted, I think it's slightly north of the subway station so may want to go for north gate). This is a huge building where trains leave for all local regional cities, and the airport, and is fine for approaching although doesn't get as much traffic as the underground. Locate the main entrance/exit to this building to the street, which points north. From here you'll see a kind of forecourt in front of you and to your right, with some roads and a big pedestrian crossing to your left.

Heading straight ahead (north) from the far right corner of the forecourt you're in Dotombori which is a grid of covered pedestrian streets with every conceivable shop in them (fashion, phones, coffee, izakaya / ramen, fast food, etc)... I found this to be good for approaching, the only problems were (1) it is very loud because the foot traffic is incredible and the covered roof makes it a bit echoey (2) in busy times there are so many people that it's a bit of a "deer in the headlights" effect, they're also walking quickly, so you have to be good at street stops.

If you walk north/south through Dotombori, about halfway you'll get to a east/west canal with north/south bridges which has some nice quiet boardwalk on each side where you can take a girl to talk and get to know her. Lots of people hang out on the bridges too so that's also fine for approaching, and not as loud since there's no roof. Also if you walk north from Nankai Namba station, then near the canal you'll reach a huge Starbucks which is in a bookstore, so lots of girls are there reading magazines and drinking coffee etc, the staff are also quite friendly haha.

If you go left (west) from Nankai Namba station you'll cross the road and get to the love hotels area, better check this out first if you are planning to take a girl there and lay her, because you'll want to be able to lead strongly. Look up "Mickey Cookies" on a map and you'll see what I mean. It's a bit hard to describe how to reach this, I firstly crossed the street and headed west about 10m (there was a big rectangle/cube shaped lit up billboard in the distance that I used as a landmark) and then I turned right into a side street and walked to the end of that street and Mickey Cookies was on the left IIRC.

Umeda is basically similar to Dotombori, maybe a bit smaller and more upmarket, I'm not sure as I didn't spend a lot of time there. Tennouji is different, it's an urban jungle with huge shopping malls and bridges etc connecting them, not nearly as densely trafficked, so if you are anxious about approaching in front of lots of people then maybe Tennouji will work for you, department-store approaching is generally quite good in Japan, there will be lots of fashionable girls there, and you can do silly shit like blowing girls kisses who are going the opposite way on the escalator, etc.

My typical conversation would be something like this:

Me: Konnichi wa!
Her: ...?
Me: Suteki na wanpi-su o kiteharu to kizuitennen! Hometakatta! (Nice dress you have on, I'm noticing! I wanted to praise you!)
Her: ...!
Me: Ore wa Re-, o namae wa? (As for me, Ray, and as for your honourable name?)
Her: Mizuho (or whatever... shake hands)
Me: Kyou wa, yakusoku? (As for today, are you waiting for a friend?)
Her: Sou! (That's right)
Me: Tabe ni ikun? (Is it that you're going somewhere to eat?)
Her: Sou! (They're kind of shy so they don't give a lot of input until they warm up a bit)
Me: Tanoshisou! Kareshi ni au? (Sounds fun! You're meeting your boyfriend?... say this with a playful tone and a smile / wink)
Her: Haha! Iie, gakkou no tomodachi ya de (Haha! No, it's a school friend)
Me: Sugoi, tomodachi mo kawaii? (Great, is your friend also cute?... again, be playful)
Her: Hahaha kawaii deshou (Hahaha she is probably cute)
Me: Donna ryouri o taberu yotei? (The plan is for eating what kind of food?)
Her: Shirahen... mada (don't know... still deciding)
Me: Ore wa washoku o taberu no ga suki! (I[masculine pronoun, always use ore] like eating Japanese food!... rub her shoulder as you say this and look as sexual as possible)
Her: Hahaha
Me: Mizuhochan wa doku ni sundeharu? (Where does Mizuhochan live?)
Her: Chotto tooi, han jikan densha de (A bit far, it's half an hour by train)
Me: Sou nan... nanji ni kaeru tsumori? (I see... what time were you thinking of going home?)
Her: Ima nopuran (At the moment, no plan)
Me: Ii... hima yattara yakusoku shiyou? (Good... if you get free, shall we meet up?)
Her: Doko? (Where?)
Me: Suta-bakkusu? LINE ga arun? (Starbucks? Is it that you have LINE?)
Her: Sou... (we swap LINE contact)
Me: Tanoshimi shitennen... tokoro de, machi no namae wa? (I'm looking forward to that... by the way, what was the name of your town?)
Her: (name of the place)
Me: Sou nan... kazoku to sundeharu? (Right... you live with family?)
Her: Sou...
Me: Oneesan, oniisan, imouto...? (Older sister, older brother, younger sister...?)
Her: (starts to share... note I didn't really need this information but just wanted to continue the conversation for a bit after the number grab)
Me: Sou! Kekkon shiteharu? (I see... are they married?)
Her: (blah blah blah... I'm screening for does she have nieces/nephews, does she like kids, just because I have the vocabulary to do so, and I want to screen for something)
Me: Kodomo ga suki! Ii naa (You like kids... great isn't it)
et cetera
Me: Hona, shina akan (well, I've got to go)... I grab her and give her a big kiss on the cheek... mata na! (until!)

It really pays to learn the table from this page: http://www.guidetojapanese.org/learn/complete/progressive_tense
Then you never need to use "masu" anymore... I recommend to use ONLY casual speech, and use "ore".

In Osaka, you can also use the grammar from my example dialogue above, although it's not compulsory to do so... "shiteiru" becomes "shiteharu" for someone else or "shitennen" for yourself. When negating, "nai" becomes "hen". If something is not okay "ikenai" this changes to "akan". And if not doing something is not okay (have to do something)... then "-nakereba ikenai" changes to "-na akan" as you saw above. Also "-no" or "-n da", which means "Is it that..." or "It is that..." and is used when asking for/giving explanations, becomes simply "-n" as in "ikun" or "sou nan" above. I really love the shorter Osaka speech and it impresses the hell out of people that you know it, see this website here: http://www.kansaiben.com/

And, by the way I'm not fluent in JP, I can only converse slowly and with simple words and on superficial topics such as current day plan, about their family, their health etc. If I can do it... then so can you!!!

Ray

 

[ray_zorse]

I slept a little after the gym (a bad habit since I'm quite behind on sleep and getting late nights lately)... got up late and got dressed leisurely in one of the outfits I like for approaching, so decided to go do some errands (have coffee, drop a jacket to dry cleaners, pick up favourite boots etc) and did a fair bit of approaching, it was really, really fun...

Very cute Cambodian girl in the coffee shop, I made a lot of sexual remarks (studying interior design so I led off with "my bedroom needs a makeover, could you come and have a look? I might have some other jobs for you too" and made some puns on her name which rhymes with "underneath" haha... and made jokes about when we are married... and when I come to Phomh Penh to visit her, and does she have a boyfriend, kept going like that), she was a bit shy to accept a date although I didn't really care, just told her she was amazingly cute and if she refused a date I would have to tickle her which I did. Hehe.

Another approach was a Malaysian girl in a black leather skirt, who was going to meet her friend (I teased her about meeting her boyfriend although it was actually just a female friend), she looked amazing and I told her so... it was only a short interaction, but I felt that being so effusive with the compliments was a bit like supplicating so I let her go, but not before saying "are you wearing contact lenses too? My God you look incredible, let me have a look at you" and stepping back a few paces and slowly taking in her body, then grabbing her arm and pulling her in for a kiss goodbye.

Had a longer conversation with a late-20s-early-30s blonde who works in cloud applications for the major telecomm company here, we walked a couple of blocks together and she was cute (I complimented her on her "casual Friday" outfit and teased her a little for coming in to work late, before pointing out we were both doing the same thing)... should have asked for a date, however, I just wasn't that attracted, for some reason I only really seem to dig Asian chicks and Latinas at the moment. I'd really like to find out why this is, since I am missing out on a lot of pussy.

Another girl was Chinese and dyed blonde with a cute friend on the tram, she wasn't investing super lots but I was making funny remarks and she liked it. TBH since I already have a GF at the moment I'm kind of enjoying just playing around with chicks and not being desperate, I still ask for dates but only if I feel there is a strong connection or if I think she is particularly cute. That's the way it should be I think. It really is qualification in action -- I talk to her for a while and gauge her level of investment, as well as trying to find out the things I like about her (likes kids, can cook, enjoys her work/study, is driven, et cetera).

I also did a fair bit of compliment-eject and just funny shit like waving to girls as I pass, to snap them out of autopilot. Anything they don't expect is good, since part of my mission at the moment is to bring smiles to cute faces. Hehe.

Ray