Am I ruining my social skills?

[Kaida]

I’ve been being more social and “loud” lately and it’s been helping me level up my social skills pretty fast. My clothes have been tight fitting and attention getting. I’ve been loud, opinionated, and shown strong emotions to counteract my previously very bad social anxiety.

With dudes, I’ve become significantly more charismatic. Guys are respecting me way more and I’m making guy friends easier.

Spoiler: Shit tests

I still get shit tested a lot, but one thing I learned is “a shitty comeback is infinitely better than no comeback”. I used to just not say anything because I had no good comback. It made me look weak.

they might call your comeback lame and laugh at you, but you still maintain most of your respect because they now know you’re not just going to take the disrespect like a punching bag.

Girls are somewhat more socially open to me than they were, however, my recent behavior seems be detrimental to my sexiness. Observation might be a lil biased tho idk.

Before this, when I was quiet, I was kind of blending into the background and my sexiness was more of an unknown mystery which intrigued women. Now I’m more like a Jester from the law of least effort quadrant

Now I’ve gotten comments like “i cant see you getting a girlfriend” from a girl friend jokingly and comments from a female friend about how a man from a tv show is so sexy (“the things i’d do that that man!”) - which i could sense was a lil weird.

(In the first few days I noticed some obvious attraction from girls, but my new personality may have turned them off a lil.)

I dont want to instill bad habits that will be hard to overcome down the road. I plan to focus more on other aspects of my image after I do this confidence leveling for another month or so (I’m like 20 days into doing this so far). I tend to overthink when I’m trying to work on too many things like my sexiness at once.

Is the way I’m “leveling up” my social confidence detrimental to my goal of being a lover later?

 

[Searcher]

It will be hard to say whether the behavior is coming across as fun or try hard unless someone sees you behave in group settings in real life.

As for what kind of loud and expressive to avoid, the guy in this video comes across as very try hard and is a good example of what to avoid.

 

[Zoro]

What you’re doing now is just the growing stage, the part where you break out of your comfort zone and practice being assertive, having boundaries and putting yourself out there with effort.

once you’ve become used to that, you then refine your behavior to make it more tactful, smooth, and easygoing.

 

[Kaida]

It will be hard to say whether the behavior is coming across as fun or try hard unless someone sees you behave in group settings in real life.

As for what kind of loud and expressive to avoid, the guy in this video comes across as very try hard and is a good example of what to avoid.

Nah lol it’s nowhere near that bad. The way I described it in the post may have made it look worse than it is. I’m more emulating Hector Castillo’s loud and strong personality without being as on point socially

 

[Kaida]

What you’re doing now is just the growing stage, the part where you break out of your comfort zone and practice being assertive, having boundaries and putting yourself out there with effort.

once you’ve become used to that, you then refine your behavior to make it more tactful, smooth, and easygoing.

Ok good, that’s really what I mean. Good to know I’m going the right way

 

[Zoro]

You are doing good by becoming more conscious of your behavior.

Meditation is something that helps expand this awareness of your own behavior.