Any success stories of asking a girl late?

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NealIRC

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I posted this question on Wikipedia's science desk.

Title: Attracting women without pursuing them.

I experiment trying to attract a girl without pursuing them. To the point where it hurt them. But they won't be upfront about it. I've asked around, and it seems this is an unforgivable thing. Cheating is more of a forgivable thing, I've heard.

My current understanding of women regarding asking them out is, there's a small narrow gap where a woman will say yes to it. Can't ask too early, can't ask too late. But my research is on asking a girl when it's too late. I tried to self-depreciate myself by making arguments such as "I've never dated before" and "never been in a relationship before" but it doesn't seem to work (their anger still stays).

So when you keep on attracting the bleep out of a girl, her revenge is built and she'll just wait for you to ask her out, just so she can say no.

Other questions: does anyone know of any stories where after a girl said no for date requests, and she usually will wait for him to ask her a 2nd or 3rd time, cases where she retroactively yes's his 1st request?

Does anyone know of any relationships where the female pursued the man?

And, is there any other method, besides asking out? Thanks.
And, an admin deleted it, with the comment "Wikipedia is not in the business of helping sociopaths harass women. Go away and don't come back."

Damn, hoping someone can help shed light on that.
 

NealIRC

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Does anyone know of any stories where, a married or relationship-woman introduced a single guy to her single female friends?

I ask this because.

Me: What if I were to try to make friends with married woman and such.
Guy: Why?
Me: To see if she'll introduce me to her single friends.

What do you guys think? (This is 2 questions.).
 

lostnumber

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NealIRC said:
Haraklus said:
I'm going to skip a lot. The short version of the rest of the story is that we got really drunk, she lost her virginity to me (on Valentine's Day on the first date, dang), and had a great time and shared some pretty intimate and awkward moments (have you ever held a girl's hand and coached her through peeing while you were both dead drunk? I have). It was one of the best experiences I've had with a woman in my life, if I'm being totally honest.

But... She had some major freak outs, feeling guilty and slutty afterwards. I successfully calmed her down a couple of times, but eventually she had a panic attack about it when I was asleep and ended up blocking me on all communication mediums, so we actually never met again. I feel a little sorry for her -- odds are, she's never going to have an experience like that with a man again. She really enjoyed herself. But we got to share something pretty good and I'm sure when she gets over her anxieties about the whole thing she'll be able to cherish the memory.
So, you basically had a 1-night stand with a Tinder girl, she felt guilty, blocked you out.

How common is it to establish a relationship - whether friendship or relationship, with a girl, after a 1-night stand?

Or is the vast majority is they cut you off somehow?

Thanks.
I can speak to this with some authority because the Tinder thing is pretty much all I do for meeting women. I think I've had 8 relationships off Tinder in the past 2-3 years where I saw the girl for at least 2 months. For the first year I was averaging second date sex, now its pretty much exclusively date one. One of them ended up being a serious committed relationship for over a year. I've never had a one night stand with a girl where she called it off, although there have been a few I chose not to pursue after the first night. Chase has written extensively about this basic principle in some articles, but essentially once you sleep with a girl if you play things right and come off as a suave sexy man its almost always within your power to steer the relationship where you want, at least for a little while.

There are exceptions of course (in the above example it sounds like the girl was very inexperienced and had a bit of a breakdown)
 

NealIRC

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Hey, here's a post from a possibly troll guy from another thread:

Virgin101 said:
Recently when entering my number into a girl’s phone, I didn’t think to hit ‘dial’! I just let her save it to her phone-book and haven’t heard from her since!!!!

Which brings up another question for me. Has any men ever gave a woman his # to see if she'll be the 1st to call or text him, and if so, has it worked?

Heh.
 

NealIRC

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Do women like it when men ask them about their tattoos?

-

By the way, that new article by Hector Castillo on masculine/feminine men balance.

A Feminine Man, Done Right, Can be Wildly Sexy to Women

I think the idea is right but doesn't seem to be worded correctly, I'm not sure feminine is the right word to use.

But the idea is women don't like it when men are wooden-headed. The turn-on is if men can be flexible. That is, adaptable. So homoeroticism is 1 of them, being able to talk about who they think is the hotter guy.

This could be telling women you're an atheist, but also able to make jokes against atheism and atheists.

When men are so bullheaded, then the women's shit test is to see if they can get them out of being so bullheaded.
 

ResentMasculinity

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i'm sure some have, as always, the burden of risk is always on us, and we are not supposed to view it as a burden.
 

NealIRC

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1. Could a girl turn a guy down because she thinks he is way out of her league?

You know how the more a more a girl into a guy, the more and more she knows he could break her heart?

So could a guy be too attractive to her, that she knows how hurt she would be if he broke up with her, so she'd rather be with a lesser-attractive guy, 1 who can't hurt her as much if he breaks up with her.

2. Are there any contradictions in attracting women?

How about the part where it says you should be different from other guys - stand out from the rest of the pack.

But the vast majority of guys hit on women, and hit on women for sex.

So to be different than that, then you shouldn't hit on women and hit on women for sex. Good or bad?

3. What are some things that we think women are a lot like men but aren't?

Single guys have posted that when they do grocery shopping and such, they pick the hottest cashiers.

But I don't see women necessarily doing the same. I've seen attractive women shopping by themselves, showing cleavage, that don't even pick men cashiers. They pick women cashiers.

This makes me believe women really are different on the inside than men are.....



More different than we think they are..

Thanks.
 

NealIRC

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NealIRC said:
1. Could a girl turn a guy down because she thinks he is way out of her league?

You know how the more a more a girl into a guy, the more and more she knows he could break her heart?

So could a guy be too attractive to her, that she knows how hurt she would be if he broke up with her, so she'd rather be with a lesser-attractive guy, 1 who can't hurt her as much if he breaks up with her.
Doesn't ever girl has to have a back-up plan? That is, if boyfriend breaks up with her, she has to have a back-up guy.

But when women have back-up guys, that usually means their current boyfriend isn't all that.. right.

And so what if she had an amazing bf or husband where she simply can't have or find a back-up plan.

Does that mean she should go for a lesser-guy?
 

NealIRC

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So I think months ago I saw some people making posts on it's better to raw approach women on the street than to message a random girl on line?

I can honestly say this.

If you msg a girl on something like Facebook, and she responds, that is better than raw approaching a girl in real life (where you have no social situations).

Why? Because.

On Facebook, a girl you msg can.

-She can stalk your profile. She can keep viewing your posts and see how intelligent your posts are. Get a idea for who you are.

So if she saw you make a post "I will be at ___, on month day" she can be a stalker and also show up at same place/time.

You can't have this with meeting random girls in real life (unless you can somehow find her at the same place/time daily).

I'm a big advocate of dating a girl without dating a girl. A girl could know a lot about you just by seeing your social medias.
 

NealIRC

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How long in your relationships or marriages, if any, did it take for you to find out.

-The age your girl lost her virginity?
-How many boyfriends she had prior to you?
-And whether she broke up with him, or he broke up with her, and why.
-How he attracted her for relationship or sex.

When are these acceptable questions to ask, after the 1st date?

If I were courting a girl and she knew I was a virgin and never had a girlfriend before, is it unacceptable for me to ask? Is she morally obligated to tell me?
 

Marty

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NealIRC said:
1. Anyone have any, or know of any, success stories where the guy did not immediately ask a girl out, did it weeks or months later, but still got a yes?

2. Anybody got any stories where the girl asked the guy out?

3. Stories where girl was the 1st to message a guy after not hearing from him for weeks?

Thanks.

Yes to #1, #2 and #3, I asked out a girl after almost a year of working with her. Then after several weeks passed she asked me out to the theater. Then I left that job, heard back from her after about another year or more. Ended up married to her for 12 years and had one child with her. She is still beautiful in her late thirties and we are still closest of friends.

I think you need to understand that each and every piece of advice you hear or read needs to be tested for compatibility with your own manner. The nice thing about this community and the accompanying coaching site is that it gets you thinking about the right things and taking action. But unless you actually put each recommendation into practice, you can't know its validity. It may sound good but not work for you, or it may sound wrong but in fact be wise advice.

For example, a regular theme on this site is that you should be more sexual with women. That definitely sounds nice. In practice, for me, when I have attempted it, it has resulted in women taking apparent offense and sabotaging dates that might have turned into a gratifying relationship.

On the other hand, if it had not been for the advice on this site, I would certainly never have ended up having those enjoyable dating experiences in the first place, or many others. So I have immense gratitude for the community and the writers here spurring me to take action.
 

Michal

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NealIRC said:
...

Is she morally obligated to tell me?
Nobody is obligated to do anything for you, especially based on morals. Every person operates on a different set of moral principles.
 

NealIRC

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Michal said:
NealIRC said:
...

Is she morally obligated to tell me?
Nobody is obligated to do anything for you, especially based on morals. Every person operates on a different set of moral principles.
So you think it's fair that she knows the age I lost my virginity, how many girlfriends I've had prior, whether I've broken up with them or whether they've broken up with me, and yet I don't get to know any of that about her?
 

Michal

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NealIRC said:
Michal said:
NealIRC said:
...

Is she morally obligated to tell me?
Nobody is obligated to do anything for you, especially based on morals. Every person operates on a different set of moral principles.
So you think it's fair that she knows the age I lost my virginity, how many girlfriends I've had prior, whether I've broken up with them or whether they've broken up with me, and yet I don't get to know any of that about her?
It should not matter what I think because ultimatelly, world is not fair and never will be, life is not fair either. Also, why do you tell this to girls? What is your objective? The only situation which comes to my mind as reasonable is when you want to bond with a girl but that still has very specific uses like you being so out of her league that she feels intimidated by being in your presence and you talk about past relationships and you tell her that you have been with like one or two girls. This can work if she has been with only couple of guys too because it brings you closer to her level and makes you relatable. But if you do not have a feel for situations like that yet, I would advise you to simply not tell girls at all.
 

NealIRC

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Michal said:
NealIRC said:
Michal said:
NealIRC said:
...

Is she morally obligated to tell me?
Nobody is obligated to do anything for you, especially based on morals. Every person operates on a different set of moral principles.
So you think it's fair that she knows the age I lost my virginity, how many girlfriends I've had prior, whether I've broken up with them or whether they've broken up with me, and yet I don't get to know any of that about her?
It should not matter what I think because ultimatelly, world is not fair and never will be, life is not fair either.
Yes, this works.

Michal said:
Also, why do you tell this to girls? What is your objective?
To test them. To test if they really into me.

Michal said:
The only situation which comes to my mind as reasonable is when you want to bond with a girl but that still has very specific uses like you being so out of her league that she feels intimidated by being in your presence and you talk about past relationships and you tell her that you have been with like one or two girls. This can work if she has been with only couple of guys too because it brings you closer to her level and makes you relatable. But if you do not have a feel for situations like that yet, I would advise you to simply not tell girls at all.
Yea, if I had ex-girlfriends, then women all want to know the "why didn't it work out?" right. Which is the same question for me. But I'm not gonna lie. And make up ex-gfs.
 

Michal

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NealIRC said:
Michal said:
Also, why do you tell this to girls? What is your objective?
To test them. To test if they really into me.
Ok, and how do girls react? What do they do after you tell them? Does their behaviour or texting mannerisms change after you end the date or after you text?
 

NealIRC

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Michal said:
NealIRC said:
Michal said:
Also, why do you tell this to girls? What is your objective?
To test them. To test if they really into me.
Ok, and how do girls react? What do they do after you tell them? Does their behaviour or texting mannerisms change after you end the date or after you text?
Never dated, but there was 1 who brought it up because she saw me make a post about it on my wall 2 months earlier.

"Are you really a virgin?" to which I said "Yes" to which she says "oh."
 

Michal

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Yea, that should be enough of an hint for you why you should not talk about this with girls. It is nothing to be ashamed of. But If you want to test them there are better ways like ask for complience or investment, move them or ask them out.
 

NealIRC

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What happens when women fall in lust with cashiers or store employees, then what do they do, go back to the store more often?
 

lostnumber

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Neal, no offense, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but if you are spending so much time on this and have never dated or had sex I think it might be worth reexamining how you are approaching women. Have you read through the articles on the site and tried to put them into practice?

The way you describe your process to us is that you walk up to random girls, ask them bizzare social questions, then turn around and leave. Am I misunderstanding what you are saying? Because I think anyone here could tell you that such an approach will not yield good results.
 
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