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Asian Dilemma

The Byronic Man

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 28, 2013
Messages
209
It's a dilemma if you think it is. My advice is to change your frame. It's not a race thing if your frame is strong enough. If you're cool, people will see you as a cool guy, not "that Asian guy." If someone doesn't, either your fundamentals need more improvement and/or the person is genuinely racist but now you know you can weed that person out of your life.

It seems like you still have limiting beliefs that weaken your frame with a hint a victim mentality. Very common with Asian guys. The fix won't happen overnight, as you need to make real changes in your beliefs that require taking 1 step at a time.

P.S. I'm Asian myself as well. My identity is NOT tied to race. It's tied to my values and beliefs. My style (clothes and hair) has nothing to do with my race, but what I think flatters my appearance most. I'm in excellent shape as well, which is tremendously helpful for any guy, regardless of race. Make it a goal to achieve a 1.62 shoulder-to-waist (measured at the navel) ratio. This is accomplished by lifting weights (mixing it up is key to avoid plateaus) and losing body fat (anybody who says it's not calories in vs. calories out doesn't know what they're talking about--there's a gross amount of misinformation on the internet). Use the gym to build muscle and use diet to lose body fat (most people mix this up). Progressively increase the weight you lift, but don't ever sacrifice form. Figure out your BMR by taking the average of 5 online BMR calculators and use that as a starting point. Count your calories (but add 20% more for packaged foods) and if your waistline (measured at the navel) maintains at the end of several weeks (measuring daily is silly due to daily fluctuations), you've probably figured out how much calories you need to eat to maintain. Eat below this to lose body fat. To optimize muscle growth, eat between 80-120 grams of complete protein (anyone who thinks you need to eat more than this is a victim of marketing; also note that incomplete protein is not the same as complete protein) depending on your height. Oh, and don't think you have to work your legs if they're already in good proportions (physical body attractiveness is not bigger at all costs--it's about proportions), and it's certainly false that doing squats or whatever leg workouts has any significant benefit to testosterone production.
 

PinotNoir

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
747
My friend and I went shopping this week. Besides outlet malls (and Guess!) as I mentioned earlier, here's a big secret:

We tried everything on we liked.
We took pictures of it and the sizes with our phones (employees looked at us, but didn't care).
We search google for online store discounts.
Finally we buy online at the brand's online store (or if you want super cheap, try ebay... or even amazon, but usually the brand's online store with the coupon is cheaper than amazon).

For nice clothes, it's still going to cost, but this makes it a lot cheaper.

Also, we're thinking that on Black Friday (next Friday) a lot guys don't go to places like Saks Fifth Avenue and other women-centered stores, so we may be able to go there and get a deal without much competition.

Definitely listen to The Byronic Man. I know some white girls that find Asian men irresistible (especially if they're at least their height and taller, as most women don't like guys shorter than them unfortunately, but even then, no big deal with the right frame). You're exotic. People want to know about you and your culture. Use it! Go to Asian study classes or study clubs; they'll love you there. You just have to find the right women. Socialize and mingle. College is a big place (usually). And if college doesn't work out, just think of it as practice because outside-of-college is even bigger!
 

moonrayarc

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 22, 2013
Messages
31
Hey Konnichiwa
I'm very fond of japanese culture (I read japanese history, watch japanese movies, i even intended to go study in japan), but whenever i tried to get excitingly into a conversation with a japanese guy or girl, it seemed awkward as they acted very shy. I don't generalize but try to pay close attention to the vibe you're projecting at the onset of your interactions. If you think this might be the case for you, try to read Chase's post on warmth, or even this fantastic video of the charisma specialist Olivia fox Cabane http://ecorner.stanford.edu/authorMater ... l?mid=3005.

In my point of view, i'd highly advise you to use lenses...and glasses too. I have the same problem as you of dry eyes, hence i use glasses when i'm home, working or at school and lenses when not (which makes an average of 5 hours a day). And it's perfect. If you decide to use them, try to get good quality lenses and everything will go right ;)
 

konichiwa21

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 7, 2013
Messages
15
Hey Byronic man,

Thanks for the very straightforwarding comment. It's true that I don't really have a firm frame that I can rely on. I found it hard to build especially when constantly moving from country to country, trying to get adjusted to new living environment. In china,I wasn't welcomed at all coz I'm Japanese. In japan, because of the fact that I was transferred from china they didn't like it. In US, people look me as if I'm fresh meat.( I was robbed twice in Massachutte subway). Whenever I see them (Chinese and tall huge US), it' horrifies me. Sometimes I really wish I have a small friendship circle to grow up with and to build a firm with.

Konichiwa21
 

Ryan

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 28, 2013
Messages
278
Stop complaining and making excuses! Be a man, and take control of your life and destiny.

Trust me, i've been to China, and there are many Japanese students who are very happy there with many Chinese friends. Especially the bigger cities like Shanghai. But not they nor the US will respect you for pussyfooting around.

Toshiro Mifune - look up to this man.

toshiro_mifune_in_rashomon_2.jpg
 

konichiwa21

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 7, 2013
Messages
15
Hi Pinotnoir,

I have listed my wish list already for the Black Friday and cyber Monday. Can't wait for it.
I don't know if I'm over worry about this. But there is something I feel I must change before I graduate.
I went to a bar last night by myself, tried to step out my comfort zone. Didn't get to talk to anyone, but feel a little good after having few beer. I'm thinking going to bar tonight again but different bar. Wish me luck.

Konichiwa21
 

konichiwa21

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 7, 2013
Messages
15
Hi Ryan,

Sorry I shouldn't have typed those on the post. It really sounds like pussy

Konichiwa21
 

konichiwa21

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 7, 2013
Messages
15
Hi moonrayarc,

Thanks for the reply and the link. You are the first foreigner I heard who enjoy reading Japanese history. Even for Japanese, it's hard. My favorite Japanese history periods is the Meiji restoration, turning over the conservatives and reaching out the new world. Like the movie the last samurai, which is one of my favorite.

Anyway, I'll definitely read the articles. Thanks !

Konichiwa21
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

thejourneyman

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 19, 2013
Messages
25
hey if possible find a bunch of guys/girls who seem to know what they are doing dating wise and hang out more with them. you will definitely learn a lot quicker and hopefully meet some people in the periphery of their social circle who is more open sexually. goodluck.
 
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