Asking Out 100 girls!?

[AspiringStoic]

Hey guys!

So recently a friend of mine showed me a video where a guy asks out a 100 girls. He thought it was very "ballsy" and "courageous".


I checked it out and found that there are several such videos now. I guess its a YT trend, one guy does it and then everyone follows. But to be honest, I was really disappointed.

- First of all it was not hidden camera. Its an interview where the guys points the camera at them, asks for their permission to interview them and asks them a question of whether they would date them.

- Even the damn question is posed hypothetically and when the girls say yes, there is not even a number close.

- And of course though there is some level of ballsiness involved. It is not real feedback when the girl knows its an interview and she is on camera.


But I don't really think these guys are interested in real cold approach it seems to be more like an Internet trend that content creators are jumping on to get views.

The Real Experiment/Exercise

But it got me thinking. Something that I think would really need balls and push the comfort zone would be to do this without hiding behind the excuse of a YT interview.

Going up to girls and saying:

" Hi. I thought you looked very cool/stylish/pretty and I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me"

All in one go! No conversation whatsoever.

Now while this is not real game, I think it forces us to confront the 3 biggest fears/points of resistance that guys have with cold approach i.e.

- Fear of opening/approaching
- Showing romantic/sexual intent
- Going for the close

Doing this a 100 times, I think would be a great exercise to overcome these fears and the biggest fear of all " the fear of rejection"

I am thinking of running this kind of experiment to see what happens and to see if I can first of all do it and have the emotional capacity to handle it.

Have any of you guys tried something like this?

 

[James D]

I don't support that.

You may know it's not real game at first but after doing it 100 times, with maybe some positive reactions, but probably no substantial results (unless you happen to be exactly the type of the majority of the chicks you approach), you're gonna start to question why on earth you're failing...

...when you know you should be succeeding, cuz at some point your mind might confuse this with real game.

I like the idea of hitting on 100 girls to reduce anxiety and fear of rejection.

But hit on 100 girls with something that's part of the overall process.

Complimenting a girl and going for the close in the same sentence trains your brain to become neo-direct, so it's not game.

Don't train your brain on wrong patterns.

I bet proposing sex to 100 girls on the street might help you cure some approach anxiety but the cost of acquiring wrong patterns is high.

Maybe hit on 100 girls with a compliment, and with the option of number closing for a date if the interaction lasts for more than 5 min and there's a vibe.

You still get to work on the approach anxiety part while maybe getting a date as a bonus, if things go your way or if you decide to push things that way.

 

[Stark]

I used to do the exact same thing when I started off with daygame many years back.

It indeed helped with tackling AA as I went on autopilot like a robot spitting off the opener.

But I wasted so much time trying to get results and improving my skill set.

If there’s any advice I would give my younger self in terms of daygame tech it’s this :

Complimenting a girl and going for the close in the same sentence trains your brain to become neo-direct, so it's not game.

Don't train your brain on wrong patterns.

I bet proposing sex to 100 girls on the street might help you cure some approach anxiety but the cost of acquiring wrong patterns is high.

Spot on.

This had a severe negative effect of wiring my brain to expect girls saying No way more often than Yes.

It took a lot of willpower and conscious learning to get rid of this pattern.

Paul Janka used to give this advice on TV - To use the opener & close in same sentence.

However if you see his infields he never does this.


Instead he opens indirect, tease the girl, get compliance, sexual state transference, touch and goes for the close around 2-5 minutes.

Exactly the system that Chase teaches here.

 

[Chase]

Maybe worth doing if you have MAXED fundamentals + high local status.

e.g., you are the sexiest guy in the club by far, exceptionally well-dressed, super sexy hair and facial hair, everyone saw you DJing earlier, and you have hot girls all around you.

Then you can just approach every girl in the club and run 5-second game to collect a bunch of numbers with some extent of some of them turning into dates/hookups.

Otherwise, you are going to get a slew of worthless numbers and polite rejections.

...

Now while this is not real game, I think it forces us to confront the 3 biggest fears/points of resistance that guys have with cold approach i.e.

- Fear of opening/approaching
- Showing romantic/sexual intent
- Going for the close

Doing this a 100 times, I think would be a great exercise to overcome these fears and the biggest fear of all " the fear of rejection"

I am thinking of running this kind of experiment to see what happens and to see if I can first of all do it and have the emotional capacity to handle it.

Have any of you guys tried something like this?

Oh. Just to train out fear of rejection?

Listen to @James D:

Don't train your brain on wrong patterns.

There are pickup coaches who will have students do three approaches designed to get them rejected as warm-ups.

You go, three girls reject you, approach anxiety is gone, and now you're ready to approach for real.

However, if you are going to go get 100 rejections in a row, you are going to teach yourself that:

1. Rejection is no big deal
2. Cold approach = rejection
3. Every woman you approach is not interested

It is like if you decide you are going to step into a boxing ring and lose 100 rounds in a row to train yourself that losing is no big deal.

After the 100th round getting punched in the face and called a loser, you are not going to want to step back into the boxing ring.

You may have learned that "getting punched and losing is not the end of the world" but you are also going to feel like "stepping into the boxing ring means I'm going to get punched and lose."

You always need to be very careful what kinds of associations you are training up in your mind.

Read this:

Secrets to Getting Girls: Positive Reference Experiences

The man who excels with women is the one who possesses enough very positive reference experiences with them. These SHAPE his mind & behavior toward women! Want to know an absolutely ENORMOUS secret behind every guy who’s successful with women? The BIG secret behind guys who are ‘naturals’ who...

www.girlschase.com

I used to do the exact same thing when I started off with daygame many years back.

...

This had a severe negative effect of wiring my brain to expect girls saying No way more often than Yes.

Yep.

That's exactly what I mean.

This kind of exercise is a "road to hell paved with good intentions" -- way less approach anxiety, but way less motivation to approach + way less faith that approaching can lead to anything worthwhile.

Be careful what experiences you feed your brain. They shape your outlook in more ways than you'd think.

Chase

 

[AspiringStoic]

@James D @Stark @Chase

Thanks a lot for the input guys. I am very glad that I posted here before trying this.

Maybe hit on 100 girls with a compliment, and with the option of number closing for a date if the interaction lasts for more than 5 min and there's a vibe.

This is basically what I do. And to be honest, I am doing better now than ever. I don't have a negative attitude towards cold approach because even the ones that it goes nowhere with give me positive reactions and are generally glad that I opened them.

That is why I don't really ever feel like I am doing something bad or annoying.

Its just that when someone like my friend shows me some of these kind of things on YT, my ego kicks in and I go :

"Why can't I be more bold?? I can give as less of a fuck as this guy gives etc".

I see now that it has a lot of potential downsides. When @Stark says he used to do that and had to consciously stop, that surprises me! I came into this being very much of a nice guy and too socially calibrated so I have this feeling that if I can do such bold stuff then, just doing a "normal approach" would become way easier. That is why this interested me. I don't think I can very easily become "too bold".

Rejection is no big deal

Yes this was all I was trying to pound into my brain. Because I have noticed this phenomenon in myself. Let me explain. I am curious if any of you guys can relate to this.

I find myself approaching a lot of Asian (Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Korean etc) women. I was thinking is that because I really like Asian women?

Actually the answer is, no. Not really. The reason I approach them is because somehow I feel I don't care as much if they reject me. A rejection from them hurts me less, therefore I have less anxiety approaching them, I am more bold and assertive when I approach them and I am less bothered if the interaction goes badly with them.

But because of these things, I have had more success with them as well.

So my thinking was if I get to a stage where I care less about rejection with other kinds of women and women in general, I am then more likely to be bold and assertive with them as well.

So basically what I am getting at is:

If I can feel like xyz girl cannot hurt me. Meaning rejection from her does not hurt me, it would free me up to be more bold, assertive, take more risks and basically behave more attractively.

Would love to know if you understand what I mean and what you think about this.

 

[Chase]

I find myself approaching a lot of Asian (Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Korean etc) women. I was thinking is that because I really like Asian women?

Actually the answer is, no. Not really. The reason I approach them is because somehow I feel I don't care as much if they reject me. A rejection from them hurts me less, therefore I have less anxiety approaching them, I am more bold and assertive when I approach them and I am less bothered if the interaction goes badly with them.

But because of these things, I have had more success with them as well.

So my thinking was if I get to a stage where I care less about rejection with other kinds of women and women in general, I am then more likely to be bold and assertive with them as well.

I recommend spending some time visualizing success with the kinds of girls you want to be able to approach:

5 Steps that Let You Visualize Anything into Reality

If you're the kind of hard-nosed, stubborn-headed realist I am, things like visualization usually sound like some kind of hippie-ish New Age flimflam to you the first 10 or 12 times you hear about them. That's how it was for me anyway, and I'd always laugh a little and shake my head dismissively...

www.girlschase.com

Do it for a bit and you will start to feel like these girls are more approachable, more familiar, you will expect them to receive you warmly, and if they don't it will simply be a kind of "oh, that's funny, weird; huh, oh well!" response and you'll just move onto the next one.

The other recommendation here can be "get friends who are like the kinds of girls you want to approach."

Build social circles that have them, talk to them often, get to know them well.

Then it's just like approaching girls you're already familiar with.

(then once you've had a few romantic girlfriends like them, it'll be no sweat at all to approach)

-C