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Originally posted in the first Girls Chase Forum on Wednesday, 23 June 2010
So I recently broke down what I think are the three main aspects of being cool, and therefore attractive. This is still kind of a rough sketch, so your feedback is much appreciated.
They are:
Quick rundown:
Confidence & Dominance
Guy is strong, collected, and in-control. He is unfazeable and seemingly has an answer for everything. Nothing surprises him, and he seems skilled in all he does. He maintains his cool even when other men are attempting to tool him or women are going apeshit crazy around him. Even if he doesn't have a perfect answer for something or isn't 100% certain he knows the right way to accomplish a feat, he'll roll up his sleeves and it's clear to everyone there that he's secure in the knowledge that he WILL find a way.
Social Savvy
Guy is highly socially calibrated, attuned to everyone around him, and brings value. He makes it his responsibility to ensure that everyone in the group feels comfortable and included. He is aware of the discomfort of others in his group, and is adept at putting them at ease. He's also adept at identifying the leader of a new group, and quickly winning him/her over to his cause. The socially savvy man has exposed himself to a wide variety of people, and feels completely at home speaking with everyone from dignitaries to bums on the street. He has shed the concept of an established social hierarchy that less socially savvy people cling to to understand whom they need to kiss up to and whom they can order around, and instead treats everyone as more or less his equal. Above all, the socially savvy man is adept at managing the emotions of those around him.
The Appearance of Effortlessness
Guy excels at doing the things he does in the most efficient way possible, and never seems to so much as lift a finger unless it serves a distinct and important purpose. His movement and speech are noticeably slower than others', and everything he does seems much more deliberate and considered. He responds with minimal effort: he will use nonverbal replies when possible, including facial expressions, shrugs, grunts / humphs (which we are considering "nonverbal" for the sake of argument), or minimal verbal responses if these do not suffice. His descriptions of himself are often vague, contrasting with the detailed, information-laden self-descriptions used by those seeking to impress (and who are thus putting far more work into those descriptions). He is adept at using his social savvy to sidestep people seeking to make him do superfluous work for social advantage (e.g., a date who asks him to pay for things for her, or another man in a social environment who attempts to get him to do things in order to show dominance over him and lower his social status).
These are, in my opinion, the three chief aspects of what makes someone "cool", as well as desirable to women. They create intrigue and mystique, and show a man to be a member of the elite. Women respond far better to men who have them, and other men like men who possess these aspects more, too. Getting these handled makes navigating the social arena vastly simpler.
Thoughts very welcome.
Always,
Chase
So I recently broke down what I think are the three main aspects of being cool, and therefore attractive. This is still kind of a rough sketch, so your feedback is much appreciated.
They are:
- Confidence & Dominance
- Social Savvy
- The Appearance of Effortlessness
Quick rundown:
Confidence & Dominance
Guy is strong, collected, and in-control. He is unfazeable and seemingly has an answer for everything. Nothing surprises him, and he seems skilled in all he does. He maintains his cool even when other men are attempting to tool him or women are going apeshit crazy around him. Even if he doesn't have a perfect answer for something or isn't 100% certain he knows the right way to accomplish a feat, he'll roll up his sleeves and it's clear to everyone there that he's secure in the knowledge that he WILL find a way.
Social Savvy
Guy is highly socially calibrated, attuned to everyone around him, and brings value. He makes it his responsibility to ensure that everyone in the group feels comfortable and included. He is aware of the discomfort of others in his group, and is adept at putting them at ease. He's also adept at identifying the leader of a new group, and quickly winning him/her over to his cause. The socially savvy man has exposed himself to a wide variety of people, and feels completely at home speaking with everyone from dignitaries to bums on the street. He has shed the concept of an established social hierarchy that less socially savvy people cling to to understand whom they need to kiss up to and whom they can order around, and instead treats everyone as more or less his equal. Above all, the socially savvy man is adept at managing the emotions of those around him.
The Appearance of Effortlessness
Guy excels at doing the things he does in the most efficient way possible, and never seems to so much as lift a finger unless it serves a distinct and important purpose. His movement and speech are noticeably slower than others', and everything he does seems much more deliberate and considered. He responds with minimal effort: he will use nonverbal replies when possible, including facial expressions, shrugs, grunts / humphs (which we are considering "nonverbal" for the sake of argument), or minimal verbal responses if these do not suffice. His descriptions of himself are often vague, contrasting with the detailed, information-laden self-descriptions used by those seeking to impress (and who are thus putting far more work into those descriptions). He is adept at using his social savvy to sidestep people seeking to make him do superfluous work for social advantage (e.g., a date who asks him to pay for things for her, or another man in a social environment who attempts to get him to do things in order to show dominance over him and lower his social status).
These are, in my opinion, the three chief aspects of what makes someone "cool", as well as desirable to women. They create intrigue and mystique, and show a man to be a member of the elite. Women respond far better to men who have them, and other men like men who possess these aspects more, too. Getting these handled makes navigating the social arena vastly simpler.
Thoughts very welcome.
Always,
Chase
