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- Sep 27, 2013
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This is important to understand about cold-approach if you are a beginner/are prepared to do hard core approaching day in and day out. Give thanks to GC user "Zac" for sharing the article I source. The average person only reads 20% of a post. I suggest you read this all because it is valuable and short!
Cliff notes:
1. Social exclusion reduces your willingness to self-regulate, which is necessary to your well-being in general - socially, physically, spiritually. Cold approach involves lots of social exclusion.
2. Be Aware of the cumulative effects of rejection during an extended period of daily cold-approaching. Are you keeping up your good habits?
3. Beware of allowing rejection to become your default social expectation. It's bad for your head.
Social exclusion reduces people's willingness to self-regulate: http://www.apa.org/monitor/apr05/exclusion.aspx
From the article
An experiment illustrates the effect.
In the past, after a long series of cold-approach rejections and number flakes I noticed that my carefully crafted lifestyle habits would start to crumble. Imagine this, you're starting on this new path, hitting tons of girls when all of a sudden, BAM: you're working out less. Your driving is becoming more reckless. Your diet is gravitating towards more junk-food. Your room is a little bit less meticulous. Your focus in school/at work is a little less sharp, etc.
If you aren't careful and you are out doing 10-15+ approaches a day for a month, the insidious effects of accumulated rejection after rejection can sneak up on you until you're either a pig or plain miserable.*
In fact, it doesn't even take that level of volume. Are some of us more/less susceptible to this? Probably. I just wish I had known when I started out. This is me trying to help you stay aware of something that could frustrate you. So how do we prevent this from happening?
From the article
That's why it's good for you to take breaks to, you know, enjoy your life! This will make it easier to preserve the habits that keep up your passive value. Otherwise, you must will yourself to stick to your good habits. The more comfortable you become with rejection, the easier that chore becomes - I can attest to that. Also, if you're nixing all your social ties in order to do this (lets say your friends and family aren't supportive/are bringing you down) or you're scuttling your ships be sure to have at least ONE strong pillar to turn to.
I've mentioned this elsewhere: if you're not getting positive feedback soon enough, you may start to feel like rejection is your default expectation in all social situations and this is not healthy. I know because I've been there. So, be sure to hang around one person who likes you LOL! If rejection becomes your default expectation, then you'll slowly lose motivation to game because when you approach a woman your brain won't shoot out a dopamine rush signaling, "hey, I could get laid!" (dopamine governs desire and motivation to seek rewards). You'll have to find other ways to motivate yourself at that point. See Chase's article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/effor ... d-get-laid
*I've done this: while it can be good for destroying approach anxiety, I don't suggest it. At all.
This is important to understand about cold-approach if you are a beginner/are prepared to do hard core approaching day in and day out. Give thanks to GC user "Zac" for sharing the article I source. The average person only reads 20% of a post. I suggest you read this all because it is valuable and short!
Cliff notes:
1. Social exclusion reduces your willingness to self-regulate, which is necessary to your well-being in general - socially, physically, spiritually. Cold approach involves lots of social exclusion.
2. Be Aware of the cumulative effects of rejection during an extended period of daily cold-approaching. Are you keeping up your good habits?
3. Beware of allowing rejection to become your default social expectation. It's bad for your head.
Social exclusion reduces people's willingness to self-regulate: http://www.apa.org/monitor/apr05/exclusion.aspx
From the article
As it turned out, people who were told they'd be alone in life were less able to regulate their actions..... People who can self-regulate well are more likely to perform unpleasant tasks for future rewards, the researchers theorized.
An experiment illustrates the effect.
A second experiment in the study found similar results using different measures of self-regulation and social rejection. In it, 38 unacquainted undergraduate participants arrived in the lab in groups of four to six. The participants spent 20 minutes getting to know each other, and then were asked to write down the names of two people they'd met whom they'd like to work with in the future. Then, half of the participants--selected at random--were told that no one had chosen to work with them, while half were told that everyone wanted to work with them.
Finally, to test the participants' ability to self-regulate, the researchers left each participant alone in a room with a bowl of 35 minicookies and asked them to rate the cookies for taste and texture. The participants who thought they had been rejected ate nearly twice as many cookies as those who thought they were accepted by their peers.
In the past, after a long series of cold-approach rejections and number flakes I noticed that my carefully crafted lifestyle habits would start to crumble. Imagine this, you're starting on this new path, hitting tons of girls when all of a sudden, BAM: you're working out less. Your driving is becoming more reckless. Your diet is gravitating towards more junk-food. Your room is a little bit less meticulous. Your focus in school/at work is a little less sharp, etc.
If you aren't careful and you are out doing 10-15+ approaches a day for a month, the insidious effects of accumulated rejection after rejection can sneak up on you until you're either a pig or plain miserable.*
In fact, it doesn't even take that level of volume. Are some of us more/less susceptible to this? Probably. I just wish I had known when I started out. This is me trying to help you stay aware of something that could frustrate you. So how do we prevent this from happening?
From the article
These findings make sense, the researchers say, because regulating our behavior is what allows us to fit into society and be accepted in the first place. People who are rejected may feel that their self-regulation efforts were for naught and be less likely to self-regulate in the future. In fact, a follow-up experiment in the study suggests that rejected people are merely unwilling, not unable, to self-regulate.
"Self-regulation allows us to be good citizens and follow social norms, and it also lets us plan for the future and be rational," says lead researcher Baumeister. "Social rejection apparently reduces people's desire to do both."
That's why it's good for you to take breaks to, you know, enjoy your life! This will make it easier to preserve the habits that keep up your passive value. Otherwise, you must will yourself to stick to your good habits. The more comfortable you become with rejection, the easier that chore becomes - I can attest to that. Also, if you're nixing all your social ties in order to do this (lets say your friends and family aren't supportive/are bringing you down) or you're scuttling your ships be sure to have at least ONE strong pillar to turn to.
I've mentioned this elsewhere: if you're not getting positive feedback soon enough, you may start to feel like rejection is your default expectation in all social situations and this is not healthy. I know because I've been there. So, be sure to hang around one person who likes you LOL! If rejection becomes your default expectation, then you'll slowly lose motivation to game because when you approach a woman your brain won't shoot out a dopamine rush signaling, "hey, I could get laid!" (dopamine governs desire and motivation to seek rewards). You'll have to find other ways to motivate yourself at that point. See Chase's article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/effor ... d-get-laid
*I've done this: while it can be good for destroying approach anxiety, I don't suggest it. At all.