Boring Conversation?

[BeeJay]

Hi guys, I've been working on conversation for a while now, and according to chase, most women love conversation based upon emotions, relationships, danger, etc, although it is usually different for each person.
For example, there was this new girl I started a conversation who seems to be into the relationship convo. That was a first for me and I found it to be really dry. Do I have to learn how to find it interesting (if that is even possible) or can I just avoid girls into relationship convo entirely?

 

[JacobPalmer]

Don't learn how to find it interest, learn how to MAKE it interesting. You could talk about the following:

Love languages - how they impact relationships, what yours and hers are (you can make a fun game by guessing each others)
What the 3 most important things in a relationship are (first two can be whatever suits you, last should be "great sex" to start the convo sexual)
How she feels when she's with someone that she really connects with

These are just a few examples, but there are tons more. Just get creative, and run things on your terms. Make it interesting.

 

[Chase]

@BeeJay,

Learn how to thread-cut off boring topics onto ones you'll enjoy.

e.g., she starts to talk about her girlfriend's drama-filled relationship. You find this boring and unproductive to where you want to take things. So you thread-cut off to something more useful:

HER: ... so then Kathy called me up and said Jake showed back up at her apartment. She thought he was going to apologize -- and that's what you'd think, right? But no! Instead, he wanted her to apologize! Can you believe it?​

​

YOU: You know, one of the most interesting things to me is how differently people can think about things. In your friend's case, she can be thinking "He so owes me an apology", but meanwhile the boyfriend was thinking the exact same thing about her! It's the weirdest phenomenon. Actually, just the other day I was out with my friend to buy a few new clothing items. She has a great eye for fashion and was helping me out. Well, this sales guy approached us and he just completely misinterpreted how to work with us. The guy was hanging around, being nosy, pestering us. I already had a fashion expert with me, I didn't need this guy's help. He thought he was ensuring himself the sale with this behavior. In the end it was so annoying my friend and I found another sales guy and brought all our purchases to him. First guy looked completely vexed; he couldn't understand it. So how about you, do you like fashion? You're dressed pretty smartly. This blouse is straight up sexy. I love the design. You seem like you know your stuff.​

So you go from:

1. Her: blah blah friend's relationship
   
   
2. You: "Yeah, people can think about things totally different"
   
   
3. You: story about being out with your friend (who happens to be female, and who is helping you pick out clothes for you to wear... very kind of her), when a sales guy behaves annoying, and you pick another sales guy over her
   
   
4. You: ask her if she's into clothes and compliment her on her fashion while throwing a little cold read in there

You can thread-cut to any topic you want.

Key with thread-cutting is just taking either the concept of what someone is saying, or a specific important word from her last sentence, and using that as a launchpad into a new, related, but different topic, that lets you take things in a new direction.

You can see how hard it'd be for her to get the conversation back to her girlfriend's relationship drama after your shopping trip story and moving on to asking her about her fashion and complimenting her on it. You've brought it back to something personal between you and her, and her friend's drama is no longer relevant.

Very handy technique for leaving bad topics behind.

Chase

 

[Cody Lyans]

Do what I do when talking relationships, playfully illustrate how single life is so much better.... Or paint out to her the perfect relationship and then say why it won't work. Or paint out a new way things can work and see what she thinks.
I think you are just bored cuz you are afraid to break the mold. Ha that's the whole point of talking about it being fun, playing with people and the reactions

 

[BeeJay]

Don't learn how to find it interest, learn how to MAKE it interesting. You could talk about the following:

Love languages - how they impact relationships, what yours and hers are (you can make a fun game by guessing each others)
What the 3 most important things in a relationship are (first two can be whatever suits you, last should be "great sex" to start the convo sexual)
How she feels when she's with someone that she really connects with

These are just a few examples, but there are tons more. Just get creative, and run things on your terms. Make it interesting.

Thanks Jacob, I would give this a try

 

[BeeJay]

@BeeJay,

Learn how to thread-cut off boring topics onto ones you'll enjoy.

e.g., she starts to talk about her girlfriend's drama-filled relationship. You find this boring and unproductive to where you want to take things. So you thread-cut off to something more useful:

HER: ... so then Kathy called me up and said Jake showed back up at her apartment. She thought he was going to apologize -- and that's what you'd think, right? But no! Instead, he wanted her to apologize! Can you believe it?​

​

YOU: You know, one of the most interesting things to me is how differently people can think about things. In your friend's case, she can be thinking "He so owes me an apology", but meanwhile the boyfriend was thinking the exact same thing about her! It's the weirdest phenomenon. Actually, just the other day I was out with my friend to buy a few new clothing items. She has a great eye for fashion and was helping me out. Well, this sales guy approached us and he just completely misinterpreted how to work with us. The guy was hanging around, being nosy, pestering us. I already had a fashion expert with me, I didn't need this guy's help. He thought he was ensuring himself the sale with this behavior. In the end it was so annoying my friend and I found another sales guy and brought all our purchases to him. First guy looked completely vexed; he couldn't understand it. So how about you, do you like fashion? You're dressed pretty smartly. This blouse is straight up sexy. I love the design. You seem like you know your stuff.​

So you go from:

1. Her: blah blah friend's relationship
   
   
2. You: "Yeah, people can think about things totally different"
   
   
3. You: story about being out with your friend (who happens to be female, and who is helping you pick out clothes for you to wear... very kind of her), when a sales guy behaves annoying, and you pick another sales guy over her
   
   
4. You: ask her if she's into clothes and compliment her on her fashion while throwing a little cold read in there

You can thread-cut to any topic you want.

Key with thread-cutting is just taking either the concept of what someone is saying, or a specific important word from her last sentence, and using that as a launchpad into a new, related, but different topic, that lets you take things in a new direction.

You can see how hard it'd be for her to get the conversation back to her girlfriend's relationship drama after your shopping trip story and moving on to asking her about her fashion and complimenting her on it. You've brought it back to something personal between you and her, and her friend's drama is no longer relevant.

Very handy technique for leaving bad topics behind.

Chase

Thanks Chase, I never fully understood thread cutting until this post.

 

[BeeJay]

Do what I do when talking relationships, playfully illustrate how single life is so much better.... Or paint out to her the perfect relationship and then say why it won't work. Or paint out a new way things can work and see what she thinks.
I think you are just bored cuz you are afraid to break the mold. Ha that's the whole point of talking about it being fun, playing with people and the reactions

Hey Cody, Could I get more explanation on this?

 

[Glow]

During conversations you can nudge topics in any direction. This is done well by pacing what she talks about and then choosing one of the things she talks about and moving it in a new direction. You can also add in new topics or perspective of you choosing if it resonates. Or you can add a new thing by using eg something in the room or alike.

Write a list of the convo w her in a relationship - think about 10 directions you could take that in - consider which one would be fun and interesting. And which would be more emotional since you wanna go there according to your post? Then Riff a little on that at home. this makes you do and thus embody the new practice a bit.

On the topic of Relationship you could eg steer towards
- the joys of being single
- relationship w friends
- good connections (A SOT)
- men and women
etc.