Backstory :
I found this woman on an online dating system. Again, she is looks wise probably way beyond what I should be getting with my fundamentals and she is my height, not shorter. She is a medical worker with a busy lifestyle. She can sometimes spend over 12 hours working, she said. It was another late evening dinner date. She had to cancel on a date the week before because of work but promptly rescheduled. In her photos she seems a bit more fashionable and into make up than the average woman that I meet. One other novelty is that she seems to be from this country, not abroad. I judged that based on her accent in her voice messages and she said so during the date. That's a novelty because maybe 2/3 of the women that I meet are from abroad. It's not up to me but if it were, I think that I'd rather date somebody from this country than abroad so this is another plus to me.
The date :
Around 2 hours before the scheduled date time, she asks if we can push the time back another 30 minutes. That would be pretty late for me, and I know that I'd be able to stay at most 90 minutes, but I say yes. I ask her if she is sure that she's OK to come out. I asked her this the day before too. The idea is that it's OK if she needs to cancel and reschedule but if I cancel I expect that I won't get another chance with her. Anyway she didn't bite so the date was still on! (I'd rather be home reading than facing another rejection and the date was going to be late so it would be a really tough task for me, but I can't cancel because my goals are important, so I always seem to give the woman several chances over text to cancel). This date was initially supposed to be on a non work day for her but stuff changed and it ended up being a work day. I really would have preferred a non work day because it would have allowed her to show up earlier and give me no time. But with her not canceling I was stuck ; if I tried to reschedule on her I would lose the lead.
She showed up on time. Her makeup and hair looked perfect, not like she had just finished 12 tough hours. I don't remember how we greeted but we went in and took our seats. We chatted a bit about our days. She told me her aspirations for her career and why she works so long. She also said that she has had a long day and that we should stop talking about her work. She later also said that she joined this dating system because she specifically doesn't want to date another medical professional, and that rules out most people in her social circle (I've heard this many times from medical professional women... Well medical professionals are usually sociable and healthy so why else would they be unable to meet appropriate guys in their daily life). This probably should have been a clue to me.
Anyway, we talked about the usual stuff. We talked about where we grew up and our experiences of school and college. We're actually from very similar backgrounds. We ended up speaking about career a little bit and that was probably a bad idea. We covered our experiences on the dating system etc but didn't get much into past relationships. She gave me one or two compliments, saying that it's good now I'm dedicated to my fitness training and dietary adherence. I think that we got too caught up on interesting but unproductive topics such as morality, spirituality, cosmetic surgery, sleep and attraction. I think that there was a past date that I had with an intelligent woman where I got caught up on stuff like this and it was bad. Here
www.skilledseducer.com
At one point during the date, she asked me what I was doing later on. I don't know if this was an escalation window but I gave a wishy washy answer (it was late and I had to get to bed..) and she transitioned to asking me what I'd typically do for fun or enjoyment on an evening like this. She also mentioned that she had some more work to do later. She had to document the day's work before the next day.
I suggested hanging out again sometime and she seemed neutral on it but said that she could do it if it wasn't too far from her town. My town is not far so that was OK for me. The bill came and we split it after she suggested. Again I figured that I had delivered a bad date so there's no need for me to pay the whole bill since I likely wouldn't see her again.
I also asked her, towards the end, maybe while we were waiting for the check, whether she's a big social media user. She asked for my Instagram and gave me a follow request right there. After we had said goodbye, I went and accepted her follow request and requested to follow her back. She has a few thousand followers, and that's a further indication of how far I was out of my depth here. The next day, the follow request and everything was gone! So it looks like she had said no to my follow request and was no longer following me. She must have changed her mind. One question is whether she looked at my (lousy) Instagram before doing that or not.
Anyway after paying the check we got up and walked out. She went ahead and didn't wait for me in front of the door or hold the door open for me. Bad sign obviously. Then, outside, she asked which way I was going. I was going to the subway station and she was walking in the opposite direction to her place which was just around 10 minutes away. When she said goodbye, she stood kind of far away from me and didn't move in closer to hug me or anything. She said that it was nice meeting me. The goodbye was pretty much identical to the one here
www.skilledseducer.com
Total date time was around 1 hour 20 minutes.
I found this woman on an online dating system. Again, she is looks wise probably way beyond what I should be getting with my fundamentals and she is my height, not shorter. She is a medical worker with a busy lifestyle. She can sometimes spend over 12 hours working, she said. It was another late evening dinner date. She had to cancel on a date the week before because of work but promptly rescheduled. In her photos she seems a bit more fashionable and into make up than the average woman that I meet. One other novelty is that she seems to be from this country, not abroad. I judged that based on her accent in her voice messages and she said so during the date. That's a novelty because maybe 2/3 of the women that I meet are from abroad. It's not up to me but if it were, I think that I'd rather date somebody from this country than abroad so this is another plus to me.
The date :
Around 2 hours before the scheduled date time, she asks if we can push the time back another 30 minutes. That would be pretty late for me, and I know that I'd be able to stay at most 90 minutes, but I say yes. I ask her if she is sure that she's OK to come out. I asked her this the day before too. The idea is that it's OK if she needs to cancel and reschedule but if I cancel I expect that I won't get another chance with her. Anyway she didn't bite so the date was still on! (I'd rather be home reading than facing another rejection and the date was going to be late so it would be a really tough task for me, but I can't cancel because my goals are important, so I always seem to give the woman several chances over text to cancel). This date was initially supposed to be on a non work day for her but stuff changed and it ended up being a work day. I really would have preferred a non work day because it would have allowed her to show up earlier and give me no time. But with her not canceling I was stuck ; if I tried to reschedule on her I would lose the lead.
She showed up on time. Her makeup and hair looked perfect, not like she had just finished 12 tough hours. I don't remember how we greeted but we went in and took our seats. We chatted a bit about our days. She told me her aspirations for her career and why she works so long. She also said that she has had a long day and that we should stop talking about her work. She later also said that she joined this dating system because she specifically doesn't want to date another medical professional, and that rules out most people in her social circle (I've heard this many times from medical professional women... Well medical professionals are usually sociable and healthy so why else would they be unable to meet appropriate guys in their daily life). This probably should have been a clue to me.
Anyway, we talked about the usual stuff. We talked about where we grew up and our experiences of school and college. We're actually from very similar backgrounds. We ended up speaking about career a little bit and that was probably a bad idea. We covered our experiences on the dating system etc but didn't get much into past relationships. She gave me one or two compliments, saying that it's good now I'm dedicated to my fitness training and dietary adherence. I think that we got too caught up on interesting but unproductive topics such as morality, spirituality, cosmetic surgery, sleep and attraction. I think that there was a past date that I had with an intelligent woman where I got caught up on stuff like this and it was bad. Here
FU - Disastrous dating app date in December
I went on another dating app date. She's a student in my country from Asia, going for a career in medicine. She said on texts that she likes quiet or peaceful settings so I suggested an art museum that was convenient for both of us to reach (and free) . When we met I greeted her with the hand...
www.skilledseducer.com
I suggested hanging out again sometime and she seemed neutral on it but said that she could do it if it wasn't too far from her town. My town is not far so that was OK for me. The bill came and we split it after she suggested. Again I figured that I had delivered a bad date so there's no need for me to pay the whole bill since I likely wouldn't see her again.
I also asked her, towards the end, maybe while we were waiting for the check, whether she's a big social media user. She asked for my Instagram and gave me a follow request right there. After we had said goodbye, I went and accepted her follow request and requested to follow her back. She has a few thousand followers, and that's a further indication of how far I was out of my depth here. The next day, the follow request and everything was gone! So it looks like she had said no to my follow request and was no longer following me. She must have changed her mind. One question is whether she looked at my (lousy) Instagram before doing that or not.
Anyway after paying the check we got up and walked out. She went ahead and didn't wait for me in front of the door or hold the door open for me. Bad sign obviously. Then, outside, she asked which way I was going. I was going to the subway station and she was walking in the opposite direction to her place which was just around 10 minutes away. When she said goodbye, she stood kind of far away from me and didn't move in closer to hug me or anything. She said that it was nice meeting me. The goodbye was pretty much identical to the one here
FU - Dour dinner date
Backstory: I found this woman on an online dating system. She is my height (not shorter), smart and successful. She is slim. I felt like it was a rare occurrence for me to get a date with a woman like this so I thought that I had to set the date and go out on my shield rather than take 1-3...
www.skilledseducer.com
Total date time was around 1 hour 20 minutes.