FR BRUTAL night in the club

[average_daygamer]

Well, after finding daygame frustrating with a lack of volume to approach, several weeks ago, I made the decision to hit the club. I buy the ticket weeks in advance online because it is cheap and I don't wish to waste anymore money on top of the misery the club provides.

I work on Saturdays and this Saturday I finished late, about 1730. So I got the bus back to my town, ate dinner quickly and then got the bus back to the club town, walked to the gym where I stashed my sleep kit and would later rest my head, then walked back to the club.

I was quite tired but that wasn't the excuse. There were girls there, particularly at the beginning of the night, but I have had poor experiences approaching at the beginning of the night.

I got to the club as usual. Tons of sexy girls as usual, but how to approach? I have approached early on in the night and it hasn't gone well so this time I held back. I couldn't even think what to say. Something like "ladies, how's your night going" didn't seem to sit right. "Hey, nice dress" also seemed cumbersome. The night has barely began so I don't know how it is even relevant.

The fact is, I am not these girl's type. So regardless of what I say, it will not land right. And the groups are so intermingled, that I can't tell who is with who. It was supposed to be a uni night but it seemed to be mainly chavy locals instead of middle class uni girls. I do not want to step on any guy's toes incase they become aggressive.

I was very poor the whole night. I think I attempted 7 approaches all within the last hour. I was suffering badly with AA, unusually so, infact. I also think my Smv was tanked to rock bottom because the girls had seen me on my own all night, lurking around the club.

And they were not interested in a middle aged guy, just these boisterous young local lads with skin faded haircuts.

The rejections were quite brutal. One set instructed me to turn around after approaching them on the dancefloor. Another set walked off as I was talking. The best reaction was when I told a chick dressed as a sexy business woman. "Hey, nice outfit" and she replied "thanks" and smiled. I later saw her with a lad.

I am beginning to realise (something I already suspected before I even went) that the club is an illusion when it comes to approaching.

On the one hand, I have never seen so many hot girls in one place, even the gym is a distant 2nd. But on the other hand, they are not very approachable.

I struggled the whole night for relevant openers. I tried "Hi girls, how is your night going" which seemed so lame and generic that it didn't land.

I didn't even touch a single girl when I approached. I really felt that I was making progress when I worked up to putting my hand on their shoulder and turning them towards me. It felt very masculine and dominant, especially on a group set.

But that ended in an incident which saw me unofficially banned from the other club, now I am down to only 1 club. So that is another thing, with the huge amount of security guards standing around, I am very on my toes as to not make an approach which could elicit a bad blowout. So my approaches are less bold. But the bolder the approach, the harsher the blowout, so it makes sense.

I stayed from 11pm till 250am, just before 3am. I couldn't take anymore of the place and a lot of the chicks were already paired off or had gone home.

The highlight of the night would have been chicks bumping into me and therefore feeling their bodies against me. That's all. No deliberate interaction at all.

Oh and a couple of groups of lads trying to make chit chat. I always seem to get quite a bit of respect from other guys in the club and compliments etc but nothing from chicks.

So all in all, a rough night as usual. I could have approached more but the blowouts showed there was nothing to be gained. These chicks were not interested, that much, was obvious.

Now I will feel tired all day Sunday as a bonus. But it's either night game or daygame those appear to be my only 2 very low probability options to get laid.

 

[S.S Can]

This might be going against the grain, but I think you need to change up your approach massively. If you've been doing the same thing for 7 years and have only managed to accrue a couple of numbers, this might not ever click for you, and that's okay. I would recommend attempting social circle game, starting a club or event that attracts attractive young women, positioning yourself as high value, and getting yourself comfortable through proximity.

You have too many limiting beliefs that you don't seem to want to change, so I would decide what to do and take a decisive stance.

IF girls matter to you so much that you are constantly in woe about your negative reception, better your chances by putting yourself in a better position. Either move, seriously focus on leveling up your fundamentals, figure out ways to start providing value in a social setting, rewire your brain and stop having so many negative thoughts, or give up. What you're doing isn't working.

 

[average_daygamer]

This might be going against the grain, but I think you need to change up your approach massively. If you've been doing the same thing for 7 years and have only managed to accrue a couple of numbers, this might not ever click for you, and that's okay. I would recommend attempting social circle game, starting a club or event that attracts attractive young women, positioning yourself as high value, and getting yourself comfortable through proximity.

You have too many limiting beliefs that you don't seem to want to change, so I would decide what to do and take a decisive stance.

IF girls matter to you so much that you are constantly in woe about your negative reception, better your chances by putting yourself in a better position. Either move, seriously focus on leveling up your fundamentals, figure out ways to start providing value in a social setting, rewire your brain and stop having so many negative thoughts, or give up. What you're doing isn't working.

Nothing against the grain about that at all. Just to clarify, I have managed more than a couple of phone numbers in the time, my best result from the club was when I got 2 phone numbers in the same night, but that was a straight forward approach of simply asking girls for their phone numbers and by complete chance, it worked twice. The last time I tried lead to an incident where the bouncer told me not to talk to them. So I stopped doing that. Needless to say, when I did get those 2 phone numbers, they flaked.

By changing my approach, do you mean how I approach a girl or how I approach trying to get laid in general?

As for night game, I have been going out to night venues since 2022, so only 3 years.
I have been daygaming since 2018, however, that's where the 7 year figure comes from.

Girls don't matter to me that much, I just want to get laid and then retire, but it surely can't be this hard. The time investment and effort each time is insane. I have 4 years until I am 40, I want to achieve something, god damned it.

Levelling up my fundamentals is hard because it seems that no one does night game coaching. The guy I had coaching with back in March said he came from a night game background but teaches daygame in an intensive style format. He had a couple of tips for night game but that isn't enough. I need someone infield with me.

All I get told is to make bold approaches but that leads to blowouts and eventually the security guards start taking a closer look at a guy who came in alone who keeps getting blown out of set after set, so I favour a more subtle and deniable approach.

As for social circle, you can forget it, I suffer from Asperger's which means I don't have a social circle. The closest I have is the Thai boxing class I go to and that is an all male environment. Clubs or events that attract attractive young women don't seem to exist, I see them suggested a lot but nothing really materialises. My coach actually suggested an English learning class, but I am too lazy to do that.

The closest I have to somehere with hot young women is the gym which is tricky to approach in and I often suffer from imposter syndrome when approaching these young beauties as a guy who has never got laid before. The problem is, I think most guys here have forgotten what mental barriers you suffer from as a guy who hasn't got laid yet.

Imposter syndrome is huge and insurmountable short of finding a cool wing to go out with. I do have some more daygame coaching planned soon, but it is not very transferable to night game.

The reason I go to the club in the first place is due to the concentration of hot girls.

But let me focus on the positives on the night:

Near the end of the night, I spoke to a hot blonde who was sitting on the coach by herself. I normally find it nerve wracking to approach girls who are by themselves because I feel like they are waiting for their friends who will come and tell me off for talking to her.

I complimented a chick wearing a sexy business outfit with what looked like just underwear for her bottom half. She thanked me for the compliment, but didn't seem interested, so I moved on fast.

I did get to feel the bodies of a few girls as they squeezed past in a very packed club. It was very busy so approaching any targets I was difficult without grabbing them physically, which I don't want to do due to possible bouncer intervention.

But as for positive receptions I didn't get any.

 

[gameboy]

I just want to get laid and then retire,

If you just want to get laid once, get a hooker or a sugar baby. You will save a lot of time and money, and you'll get it out of your system.

If you're lucky it will even help you with any incel vibes you might be exuding. Girls smell this kind of stuff from miles away...

 

[Vibe]

@average_daygamer you seem like an intelligent lad!

Here are some practical thing you can do that actually work in an club environment, from my experience:
-Arrive a little early to get acclimated to the club environment
-Befriend the regulars - you are not the only one who has the idea of going out by himself. Keep an eye out for patrons you will see there almost every weekend and talk to them. That way even when you go out alone, you are not really alone and you have a "base" to get back to.
-Dress cool and wear 1 item to peacock. If you look cool people will reinterpret your actions more positively.
-Use proximity - position yourself next to the girl you want to talk to, that way you are not "approaching from across the club" you just "found yourself there" and you turn around and talk to her. This KILLS anxiety, it's so easy to do.
-Use pre-openers

You are right that the "How is your night going?" is a weak sauce opener for the club. I mean it CAN work BUT it is not optimal and most efficient. But if you want to use it, for it to work, you need to deliver it in a high energy way. A lot of guys use that opener so girls easily sort you in the "another one of those" category. Sounds from your writing that your confidence is wrecked and you suffer from feeling inadequate when out.

Instead, you can use openers that are FUN.
-Use role playing openers
-Dumb hypotheticals
-Situational openers (the optimistic complaint opener is a good one)

And they were not interested in a middle aged guy, just these boisterous young local lads with skin faded haircuts.

Surprise, surprise. Women like young good looking guys. Water is wet. Game and seduction is using your personality and charisma. But looks aren't a silver bullet either. I think @Skills put it best: the more good looking you are the more women will be forgiving of the mistakes you make in seduction. He can probably weight in more on what you need to do.

But, I think for you, you should really think about this as your sticking point. There is so much material on night game opening. Go on a binge and saturate your mind with the materials. Watch infields. After you watch it, think of the situations you were in and re-imagine doing them differently.

 

[gameboy]

Thinking about it, I think the best place for you @average_daygamer is actually the gym. Since you seem to like being there, and I assume you have a decent body.

In a setting like a gym I would focus on making small talk with everyone first. Try to get the girls to laugh if that's your thing. Don't worry about closing at first. You only want to close girls you are reasonably sure are into you. If you just make small talk and befriend as many people as possible there (ideally guys and girls), I think you wouldn't need to worry about complaints.

 

[Skills]

Average day gamer change strategy temporarily...

- chill for the first couple of hours no expectations just looking for friendly open body language women...

- go to an area with multiple venues


- only open women that give you invites or react positive or neutral when you force reactions....


Try that for a while till you feel comfortable...

 

[average_daygamer]

Thinking about it, I think the best place for you @average_daygamer is actually the gym. Since you seem to like being there, and I assume you have a decent body.

In a setting like a gym I would focus on making small talk with everyone first. Try to get the girls to laugh if that's your thing. Don't worry about closing at first. You only want to close girls you are reasonably sure are into you. If you just make small talk and befriend as many people as possible there (ideally guys and girls), I think you wouldn't need to worry about complaints.

That's uncanny, I literally just made a post about a couple of gym approaches that I backed out of.

The thing with the gym is, I find it a bit fraught. It's due to 1. I am preoccupied with my workout. 2. I am weary of interrupting the girl with her workout.

The advantage of the club is, if puts you in such close proximity with the girls. I literally had more female contact that night than any time in my life other than other times in the club. Just from being in such a restricted space packed with girls.

I have another ticket booked for the 24th of this month, hopefully it will be better. But the problem is I work Saturdays, finish between 2700-1800 and I have to catch an hour bus back home to eat dinner, freshen up and get my nightgame clothes on then take the bus back to my local approaching city then walk to the gym (1 mile) to stash my sleep kit and then walk back to the club and stay until 3am.

So I am pretty exhausted before I even get there and therefore not too excited once I have walked through the doors.

The gym is definitely my preferred environment but I really struggle to approach consistently.

Last week I managed 3 opens in the same session, but today if you look at my post in Mr Variety's gym thread, you can see I let 2 good approach opportunities slip by me.

I plan to go to the gym and just hang around tomorrow as I don't have a session scheduled so just see if I can manage 1 approach. And the. Daygame for the rest of the day.

So far I haven't had a bad blowout in the gym but I am very selective. I need to cast my net as wide as possible, hence the nightgaming otherwise I would gladly never step foot inside a club again.

 

[Skills]

Average how are your fundamentals:

-style

- hair

- physic

You were complaining about that what is the specific issue

 

[average_daygamer]

Average day gamer change strategy temporarily...

- chill for the first couple of hours no expectations just looking for friendly open body language women...

- go to an area with multiple venues


- only open women that give you invites or react positive or neutral when you force reactions....


Try that for a while till you feel comfortable...

Thank you, Skills, I do appreciate your contribution.

That was ironically what I was trying to do this time.

But I was very conscious that I was walking around the club with a straight face and no happy expression on. I refuse to drink alcohol so that doesn't help.

But these girls, they are interested in guys with a certain energy which I do not possess.

Here is a UK video for reference of the type of girls that attend these venues

As you can see, very slutty and no brain! I do not do well with these types of chicks.

i did not see any friendly open body language women, although the club was very packed and chaotic.

I did try to hang around where there were other people, I was careful to not isolate myself.

I also did approach a few sets between 2am-3am. But I was not having a good time.

Unfortunately, without going to London, there are only 2 venues near me, one of which I am probably banned from after an incident with the bouncer telling me not to approach girls too young for me.

For me to have a 0.1 percent chance of getting laid, I need nightgame, daygame and gym game and all the leads I can get.

 

[gameboy]

traight face and no happy expression on. I refuse to drink alcohol

very slutty and no brain

Forget it. It's not going to work.

I used to do a lot of clubbing (but unlike you, I loved it. The music, the alcohol, and the girls). I can assure you that someone walking around all night with a straight face, refusing to enjoy themselves, will be talked about and ridiculed by pretty much everyone.

We used to make nick names for these kind of people. Fortunately there weren't many at the clubs I went to.

I'm pretty sure that's why you're getting these harsh rejections. I feel sorry for you, it must be tough. But if you insist on keeping doing things like you used to, it's not going to get any better.

 

[Skills]

Thank you, Skills, I do appreciate your contribution.

That was ironically what I was trying to do this time.

But I was very conscious that I was walking around the club with a straight face and no happy expression on. I refuse to drink alcohol so that doesn't help.

But these girls, they are interested in guys with a certain energy which I do not possess.

Here is a UK video for reference of the type of girls that attend these venues

As you can see, very slutty and no brain! I do not do well with these types of chicks.

i did not see any friendly open body language women, although the club was very packed and chaotic.

I did try to hang around where there were other people, I was careful to not isolate myself.

I also did approach a few sets between 2am-3am. But I was not having a good time.

Unfortunately, without going to London, there are only 2 venues near me, one of which I am probably banned from after an incident with the bouncer telling me not to approach girls too young for me.

For me to have a 0.1 percent chance of getting laid, I need nightgame, daygame and gym game and all the leads I can get.

Because they dress slutty doesn't mean they are slutty... Genz in my area dress way more slutty than that... Yet when dealing very afcish and conservative... Doesn't mean anything

 

[gameboy]

Because they dress slutty doesn't mean they are slutty... Genz in my area dress way more slutty than that... Yet when dealing very afcish and conservative... Doesn't mean anything

This is true. Also slutty = good if you want to get laid lol

 

[JT Sunshine]

Tips from a die-hard night gamer: I recommend first working on your fundamentals. Get a couple of decent outfits and get a good haircut. Get at least one accessory like a watch or bracelet. None of this has to be expensive, just proper fits and colors that work. Plain colors are fine. Do you look approachable? If not, try to fake it.

Next time you're out, the only goal is to have fun, try to get a couple of positive responses, and maybe make someone's day. "Hey, nice dress" sounds like an attempt to talk to a girl disguised as a generic compliment. Sorry if that's blunt, but it won't work unless your fundamentals are good OR you deliver it with massive confidence. Try this instead: find a girl with a really cool looking dress, shirt or whatever and say "Hey... *wait for her to look at you* that shirt... is the coolest shirt I've seen all week. *smile* I though you should know that." and slowly turn to walk away. Make it genuine. Way more interesting, and more likely to get a big "thank you" from her, creating a positive feedback loop for you if done a few times a night. Get some positive reference experiences, with no outcome in mind other than to brighten a girl's mood. Don't try to get laid as your goal - try to make 100 women smile without getting laid. Seriously. Agenda is the killer of fun, and no fun = no sexual attraction. The lays will come.

Then, work on your negative limiting beliefs. You are not "middle aged". I am the same age as you and do not stand out as the "old guy" at the club, at all. But it's all in how you present yourself. 10% of the girls you meet will find the age gap MASSIVELY attractive. 10% will find it repulsive, and 80% won't give a shit. Your only job is to find out which category they fit in. And just because they dress "slutty" doesn't mean they are slutty. And so what if they are? Some "slutty" girls are the kindest, sweetest people around. Nothing wrong with having a high sex drive and going for what you want.

Lastly, give yourself props for going out and trying this stuff. You may be down and frustrated, but most guys wouldn't even attempt going to a nightclub in their 30s and talking to women. That takes courage. You are worthy. Now set some small goals and keep tweaking your approach until you can achieve them. Then set slightly bigger goals. Rinse, repeat. Baby steps. We're all rooting for you.

 

[Orchard]

As you can see, very slutty and no brain! I do not do well with these types of chicks.

But You want to do well with those types of women right? I can’t tell.

 

[Skills]

But You want to do well with those types of women right? I can’t tell.

how do he knows they have not brain, and that they are very "slutty" just by the way they dress... is just an excuse...

 

[Orchard]

how do he knows they have not brain, and that they are very "slutty" just by the way they dress... is just an excuse...

Exactly. He’s assuming things and it gives him the ability to not even try. gamma mindset.

 

[Will_V]

But I was very conscious that I was walking around the club with a straight face and no happy expression on. I refuse to drink alcohol so that doesn't help.

But these girls, they are interested in guys with a certain energy which I do not possess.

So you walk around with an unhappy expression on your face, and you expect girls to be receptive.

Does it seem logical that you would succeed here? Do you think girls are going out to find unhappy guys to spend the night with?

The mind boggles.

 

[StrayDog]

I see you have done very little to shift your style of gaming to something more congruent to your personality, like I had suggested. You're still trying to run social butterfly game, instead of sniper game.

I would go into detail again about what that sort of approach to game entails, but I already wrote a bunch about it on other threads for you.

you're running your game all wrong for your personality.

not surprised you didn't even get a hook.