Called out for mirroring in text?

[weekendwarrior]

Hi guys, I went the other weekend and bumped into this chick that I'm on and off with. She brought up our texting for some unbeknown reason and pointed out that I only ever copy her (mirroring). Stating if she sent a long text then I'd send her a long text, if she sent a short message, I'd send her a short message.

I passed it of that I was just texting her, I'd reply to what she gave me, if there was a lot to reply to it would be a bigger message. I didn't think I'd ever be called out on this "technique"; it seems like a common trend in texting?

She then asked me what my thoughts were on some dating coach I'd never heard of. Sounds like she's been googling my texting habits! She's started texting me again and the mirroring continues, it's just a habit at this point.

Warrior

 

[StrayDog]

Switch the frame on her. She is trying to bust you like "haha got you!" but what she is actually doing is implicating herself

I would just tease her "Wow didn't realize you've been thinking so deeply about our interactions"
I might even have got her to keep explaining herself and just kept turning the frame on her. Shouldn't be too hard to do. I mean, she is sure putting a lot of thought into this

Something around those lines. Imply that she is thinking about you. That her analyzing of your texts is her wanting to know if you like her or not. Her looking up dating coaches' texts and comparing them to yours implies she is researching on the internet if you like her or not. Tease her about it.

 

[weekendwarrior]

@StrayDog that's fantastic thanks, I wish I thought that quick on my feet! Usually, I've been better at setting chase frames with this chick, but I completely stalled on this one.

When she asked about the dating coach, I recognised the name from reading it in recent discussions on this forum and by all accounts on this forum he's not very good, I played dumb saying I don't know who that is and got her to explain who he was but I didn't do much more to frame this.

Warrior

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Straydog's response would work, you might even be able to put her on the defensive, why is she studying dating advice? Is she studying dating advice for women? What kinds of tricks is she using on you? Whom is she following? Maybe she's following @Vision

Reminds me of a thread Levo had called "the weird behavior phenomenon", he would probably just tell her that she's being weird and to stop acting weird and genuinely act like she's a weirdo (with eye codes and so forth).

That said, you shouldn't make the mirroring this obvious. I can even tell when girls do that to me, and I've had a few cases where they did. I text after 50 minutes, she texts back after 52 minutes, and so it goes with every text... very transparent.

I think a better mindset is to make it random rather than mirrored, while paying attention not to invest more than her.

 

[weekendwarrior]

Thanks @Karea Ricardus D. I think I've missed the opportunity to put her on the defensive unless she brings it up again. I'd love to know what tricks she's using on me, I'm about to post an overview of the time line with her, I'd really appreciate your thoughts.

I've called her weird from day one, I act like she's genuinely a weirdo, it helps that she usually does something weird like this.

She mirrors me with response times and usually message length, it is very obvious. My response pattern is random, I don't text when I'm at work, at the gym, doing a hobbie or out with friends and text around those things so my response times vary.

She's called me out for taking forever to reply, to which I've explained I'm busy and that I don't text when I'm at work or at the gym etc and she insists no one's busy 24/7 though she's incriminating herself here by mirroring my response times.

Warrior

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Sounds like you got the upper hand here and she's really into you. You will probably have to worry more about her pushing for monogamy than you will have to worry about losing her.

 

[weekendwarrior]

Thanks @Karea Ricardus D. I definitely have to worry about her pushing for monogamy, she's tried to bring up the relationship talk a few times but lost the nerve and covered it up by saying something weird. She asks to speak to me in private, ums and arr's and then says something random that she could have said anyway.

I think she loses the nerve because it breaks her Disney perception of reality, just my thoughts.

Warrior

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Hmm yeah, could be. Maybe she's interested in an LTR with you but not interested in any other kind of hookup.