Científico returns

[Científico]

A year ago, I left this board and ended my previous journal announcing that I had found the right girl for an LTR. That is still true. The girl is a true match for me in many ways. And not only that, she is constantly showering me with love and attention.

However, after some time with her (~ 9 months in or so) I began to realize a closed, monogamous relationship was not sustainable for me. The trigger point was a dance festival where I was getting multiple IOIs and I drove myself crazy knowing I could not pursue.

After getting some advice from trusted advisors and friends, including reading the post from Chase himself about the subject, I decided to try to transition the relationship to an open one.

I am not going to go into all the details about the transition now. It has not been a smooth ride. Suffice it to say I did it knowing that it could torpedo the relationship that was otherwise very stable, and I was ready to walk away in order to return to the seduction scene. However, - my efforts paid off. She is still with me and now the relationship is open. I will probably discuss the dynamics of my open relationship later, as it is worthy of analysis.

However the main purpose of this journal is to document my seduction efforts and hold myself accountable on my continuing seduction journey.

I am excited to be back, to read and comment on other's journeys, and to start posting LRs again soon.

Onwards and upwards.

 

[Científico]

Immediate goals:

Improve on my flaky cold approach leads.
I have not been practicing nearly enough cold approach lately (similar story as before I met my girl). Lately however, I have had a few sets that went very well seemingly and yet the girl simply stops responding. This is a common problem, and I believe the solution is to a.) stay in set longer to build more investment and b.) set up a concrete date with a known date and time right in set (or instant-date). No more open ended "I'll text you soon" closes.

Address first dates to nowhere.
Lately I've had many first dates where I don't close, and the girl texts me later saying she had a great time but "didn't feel a spark". It's becoming an uncomfortable pattern. I may be rusty getting back into this and be doing something on these dates that is disqualifying me as a lover. A problem I used to have is attainability, however I also think I may simply be selecting for the wrong girls and need to find more DTF-type girls by screening better on the dating apps. I get decent numbers of matches so there may be strategies to accomplish this.

 

[Beck Bass]

I am not going to go into all the details about the transition now. It has not been a smooth ride. Suffice it to say I did it knowing that it could torpedo the relationship that was otherwise very stable, and I was ready to walk away in order to return to the seduction scene. However, - my efforts paid off. She is still with me and now the relationship is open. I will probably discuss the dynamics of my open relationship later, as it is worthy of analysis.

Curious on this one, not even sure what's the status of mine as of lately, but I suppose it's kinda open... But it's an every day frame battle, my girl wants as much of my attention as she can get (she's not too clingy though, so it works for me), it feels like more work than being single keeping a girl on an open or one-sided LTR but it sure makes the girl respect you a whole lot, and by the end of the day I guess you get the best of both worlds, so I'm all in for your decision.

Lately I've had many first dates where I don't close, and the girl texts me later saying she had a great time but "didn't feel a spark". It's becoming an uncomfortable pattern. I may be rusty getting back into this and be doing something on these dates that is disqualifying me as a lover.

I think it's likely you're just not tryng hard enough to close, I know I have this kinda second thoughts about if it's really worth having sex with a girl and what impact this could have on my LTR and all this, and this of course can lead the girl to think maybe you don't like her all that much. I myself don't know if I should be disclosing that I do have a girlfriend to girls I'm seducing, but I'm starting to think the girls that really wanna go along likely won't care. Of course there's the ones that are kinda on the fence, and then I don't know how to proceed, even if you frame yourself as a lover a girl might still have some hope she's gonna become my girl, but I guess I can be responsible for other people's expectatives, right?

Anyway I think you gotta reflect on how hard are you really trying to fuck these girls, like are you really willing to bed them? Will they know you have a girlfriend? When? This type of stuff. Without a strong frame is hard to have a sound game.

 

[Científico]

I myself don't know if I should be disclosing that I do have a girlfriend to girls I'm seducing

I am struggling with this myself. I could see it as a double-edged sword -- might drive some girls away, but might make others intrigued and box you squarely into the "lover" camp, or at least disqualify you as a normal boyfriend.

I might experiment by screening harder for more open minded girls to go on dates with, and then revealing that I'm in an open relationship. There might be more optimal times to do so than others.

Needless to say, more research needs to be done on this.

 

[Beck Bass]

Yeah, I'm doing some field research as well right here, let's share our results and hopefully make humanity progress a bit more lol
Good luck @Científico!

 

[Skills]

A year ago, I left this board and ended my previous journal announcing that I had found the right girl for an LTR. That is still true. The girl is a true match for me in many ways. And not only that, she is constantly showering me with love and attention.

However, after some time with her (~ 9 months in or so) I began to realize a closed, monogamous relationship was not sustainable for me. The trigger point was a dance festival where I was getting multiple IOIs and I drove myself crazy knowing I could not pursue.

After getting some advice from trusted advisors and friends, including reading the post from Chase himself about the subject, I decided to try to transition the relationship to an open one.

I am not going to go into all the details about the transition now. It has not been a smooth ride. Suffice it to say I did it knowing that it could torpedo the relationship that was otherwise very stable, and I was ready to walk away in order to return to the seduction scene. However, - my efforts paid off. She is still with me and now the relationship is open. I will probably discuss the dynamics of my open relationship later, as it is worthy of analysis.

However the main purpose of this journal is to document my seduction efforts and hold myself accountable on my continuing seduction journey.

I am excited to be back, to read and comment on other's journeys, and to start posting LRs again soon.

Onwards and upwards.

Interesting how you took an ltr to open women dont really go from ltr to open does not pass my smell test, would love to know how you dod this, are you sure this is not a break up and you guys testing waters dynamic... this sound to me like a recipy for disaster....

- with the new girls dont bring it up, if they find out after investment say you are not happy and on your way out...same speah marry men use...

- you are rusty your gain will find a mojo eventually same shit i tol @Beam

 

[Científico]

Interesting how you took an ltr to open women dont really go from ltr to open does not pass my smell test, would love to know how you dod this, are you sure this is not a break up and you guys testing waters dynamic... this sound to me like a recipy for disaster....

Thanks for your comment and the tips. Your skepticism is warranted. I can only tell you it's true. It's been a journey of several months to reach this point.

I think a large part of it was probably my willingness to walk away and not budging on my frame. And her determination to make it work.

Make no mistake, it could still end in a train wreck. Thankfully, we are not married, no kids, no shared assets, etc. A break up would be clean and easy.

 

[Skills]

Thanks for your comment and the tips. Your skepticism is warranted. I can only tell you it's true. It's been a journey of several months to reach this point.

I think a large part of it was probably my willingness to walk away and not budging on my frame. And her determination to make it work.

Make no mistake, it could still end in a train wreck. Thankfully, we are not married, no kids, no shared assets, etc. A break up would be clean and easy.

Yeah i see, so she is making a "hail marry" attempt to concede and let you be open so you don't walk, makes sense, this eventually will cause tons of drama, but yeah this is something i talk about and used to do in the past now that i think about it....

"Now as soon as one of the girls on the side is better than the” main girl/queen” , you replace the “main girl/queen” with the girl on the side GRADUALLY, it has to be a slow process, since the girl on the side needs to be proven on the new role. Once she is proven, you need to get rid of the “main girl/queen”. The beauty is the former main girl will go crazy and act needy, and will let you sleep with her and be a side girl for her fear of loss, usually she will let you do this for about 3 months to a year, depending on her level of attachment."

How to get a girlfriend and never having dry streaks

Here I will share my secret formula that I have been following for the last 15 years, for getting the right girlfriend while never having a dry streak.

www.theskillsmethod.com

 

[Skjöldr]

Good to have you back. I enjoyed your journal. Many golden nuggets in there.

 

[Científico]

At the moment I'm finding it complicated to manage an open relationship. There has been a bit of drama and I made a mistake yesterday that blew it up again.

My girl really likes attention from me. We live in different cities and go see other often, and she wants to talk almost everyday on the phone. And we have regular video calls. She tells me she loves me, despite my transitioning the relationship to an open one and despite the drama this has caused. The sex continues to be amazing and it got even better after the transition, with her and me both cuming hard and repeatedly.

Yesterday, I was on my way to see my Bulgarian booty call (really, the only other solid plate I have right now besides my main girl). Except I forgot that I had agreed to reschedule the video call we were supposed to have on Wednesday due to work travel. Complicating matters, I had consumed some edible cannabis before I went on the way to the Bulgarian's place. So when she called me because I was 10 minutes late to the video call and I was already driving in the car, it was like a truth serum. Or at the very least, it made me very, very unsmooth at handling why I was missing the video call I had agreed to. In that moment, I simply could not lie to her, and my vagueness about where I was going was all she needed to know.

Women are funny in that even though you've agreed you can see other people, EVIDENCE of this happening is a big no-no because it sets off all sorts of triggers. Varoon Rajah discusses this on this very site in his "harem series". But to add to the drama this time, it's my fuck up at forgetting the video call (even though we had a long phone call the day before, and talked the day before that, etc...).

It's my first try at having an open relationship with a girl that is so devoted to me and I'm really not sure what I'm doing here. I really like this girl, because she is very compatible with me for a long term partner. But I simply cannot be with just her, that was made clear to me by how miserable I got when I was monogamous to her and I was hating how I had to pass up opportunities all over the place. And yet, even though I have successfully transitioned the relationship to an open one, I have set a really bad precedent with her, because she expects a lot of attention from me and any other extra-curricular activities from me are eventually discovered. Not only that, the emotional attention I invest in her distracts from time and energy I could be spending picking up other women.

I don't really see what else I can do at this point other than just stay on the course I have set, and perhaps communicate that I need some more space for myself. The more space I take back, it's certainly possible that she will just get tired of this and move on. I've always been prepared for this possibility and I know that despite the pain I'll be okay - this was the mindset that I KNOW made this entire situation possible in the first place. I must always be prepared for this possibility.

Society says that a man my age, 35, should be settled with kids no? Definately no kids, and monogamy? I'm not sure that is ever in the cards for me either.

 

[Beck Bass]

Society says that a man my age, 35, should be settled with kids no? Definately no kids, and monogamy? I'm not sure that is ever in the cards for me either.

Don't care about society man, people don't really need to know your age either, also people are living longer and longer and taking more time at each stage of their lifes, so what was expected back in the day it's not quite the same anymore.

Complicating matters, I had consumed some edible cannabis before I went on the way to the Bulgarian's place.

Yeah, drugs can really complicate things. Most of dumbest arguments I had with my girl had some relation to alcohol (both for me and for her, she rarely drinks, but if she does, she likely is with her girls, and if I'm not around, they might be talking random shit that might make her paranoid).

EVIDENCE

Yeah, because that's what makes it real in her mind. It's one thing for you to say you're banging other girls, it's another for her to actually see it with her own eyes (even if indirectly). We are not that much different from women, really. I remember girls that I banged and then kinda went distant, and not having them around was kinda chill, but actually seeing them post they are with some other guy on IG or whatever is what would actually fuck me up emotionally, even if deep down I knew they were seeing other guys already.

It's like that Schrödinger's cat stuff, you can't know the cat is dead until you open the box, but the chance the cat is alive is lower each passing moment, but still, we don't wanna believe it. Our mind creates fantasies about everything going "our way", even if logically you know it won't go, inside you kinda hope. And when you see real evidence of things not going your way, you get disappointed. I guess it can't be helped.

To me, it's about managing those "opening the box moments" to have as little impact in your relationship as possible (minimizing both how often they happen, and how bad they are). Like hey, she knows you're banging other girls, but this doesn't matter, you're with her. I guess that is easier for me because me and my girl see each other really often (2 times a week at least), and I keep texting to a minimum (we still text every day pretty much), so even if I'm with other girl, it would really hard for her to notice.

Another thing that helps is giving her good surprises, so not all unexpected stuff for her is bad stuff that takes away from the fantasy of having you. This can be anything really she likes and doesn't expect, like last time I saw my girl I bought a funny wine for us to drink together (something like a "Catholic cult" wine or whatever). The wine itself was not that great, but she had a laugh, posted on her IG for her friends to see, and we had some nice tipsy sex afterwards. I also bought her some sexy lingerie for her to wear to me sometime ago, like some bunny costume, we had some hot sex with it (keeping it sexual is great of course, but it could be something else entirelly that she finds kinda cute as well). In fact, I think I need to buy her a new one hehe, gonna think about what I want her to wear for me.

By the end of the day, it's all about her you make her feel, so if she's happy with you 99% of the time, she won't care about this little 1%.

I don't really see what else I can do at this point other than just stay on the course I have set, and perhaps communicate that I need some more space for myself.

Yeah man, if you need more space, tell her, but be sure to handle that with care, girls want relationships to move forward, not back, overtime. Sometimes breaking up for a little while can be good for her to think about and see that you're gonna do your thing no matter what, so if she really misses you, she might as well be with you, even if you bang other girls. There's always the risk she might find someone else though, so I wouldn't recommend it, but if it can't be avoided, sometimes taking some time off can be a good thing.

Good luck and I hope you work it out, feel free to ask me anything if you want!

 

[Científico]

@Beck Bass thanks for your comments my friend. It appears things are okay. At least for now. Luckily this comes at a time when she is completely invested in the relationship, is spending lots of money planning travel with me and since we've already made it clear to each other that the relationship is open - she knows she doesn't have much of a leg to stand on (besides my obvious mistake when it comes to forgetting about a call I agreed to). She is rational like that, that's why I like her.

 

[Científico]

Was at another festival event this weekend, one in which I attended by myself without my girl. Besides enjoying the music and the dancing, one of the things I enjoy doing at these events is getting a hotel room at the event venue (to have perfect logistics) and then practicing fast escalation.

Clearly though, I am very rusty. I did not get laid. But I made a lot of mistakes.

1.) Unprepared hotel room. I didn't have any wine or the usual prepared plausible deniability on my laptop the first night (Friday), which caused me to make excuses to myself and even defer pulling a hot lead I had on Friday.
2.) Not closing at the optimal time. Related to the girl I mentioned in the line above, and at least one other one. These environments require me to move fast to make the best use of time. Not only do I miss escalation windows, I also waste time I could be using better.
3.) Need to work on avoiding the vibe crashes that still seem to happen sometimes after a good dance. I am going back to review some of the old material I had written about this in my previous journal.

I did find a girl that seemed DTF late in the night last night. She is one I've interacted with before and I was attracted to her when I first met her years ago. Highly compliant and essentially said she would crash in my room with me. I problably could have made that lay happen.

However, time has not been good to her. Not only has she gained weight, she was a mess of alcohol and cigarettes and smeared make-up. It was a situation where the girl was only borderline fuckable. I decided I wasn't attracted to her and let it be. Cientifico years ago would have pulled but Cientifico today goes for quality over quantity.

I will be at another similar multi-day event in Mexico next week. I believe my chances for sex are far higher at this event - not only do I have more time, but in general I seem to get laid a lot easier in Mexico. Girls just fall on my lap there every time I go.

 

[Beck Bass]

Cientifico years ago would have pulled but Cientifico today goes for quality over quantity.

I will be at another similar multi-day event in Mexico next week. I believe my chances for sex are far higher at this event - not only do I have more time, but in general I seem to get laid a lot easier in Mexico. Girls just fall on my lap there every time I go.

Yeah, I'm also trying to only pull higher quality girls now, specially since it can generate some drama with my girl, I gotta make sure the girls I'm investing my time in are worth it.

Sounds like a great time, this Mexico thing, hoping to read it here when it happens!

 

[Científico]

There is no doubt that my game is dog shit at the moment. I just had one of the worst cases of self-sabotage I've ever had in my entire seduction career. Without going too much into details (since I believe I have a good understand what I did wrong), essentially it was a hot latina girl that was ready to be pulled and had agreed to leave the party with me but I just botched the execution. There were also weaknesses in my game before I pulled that led to this failure.

I think part of this is also that I am still adjusting to this open-relationship model I created, and since I already have a girl that is super-committed to me there is a lack of urgency/dominance in my seductions. I'm like the sales person that only gives 75% instead of the 100% required to be consistently good. Women need to be lead and I am terrible at the leading right now.

I need to invest some more effort into seduction in my home territory so I can get my mojo back.

 

[Beck Bass]

I'm like the sales person that only gives 75% instead of the 100% required to be consistently good. Women need to be lead and I am terrible at the leading right now.

Oooh man I've been feeling a lot like that lately as well, not gonna lie.
Part of me is like whatever, I'm not even trying that hard because my girl is dope and if I'm getting involved with other women, they better reeeeally make me wanna do it, but in part I also feel I'm just a bit lazy because I have her, and saying all that stuff can be just a crutch for justifying bad, half assed game.

I feel like having a girl really makes me second guess if I'm really going for the girl I go for, like are they hot enough? Hesitation is death in seduction many times, so it's been tough. I guess I just need to adapt a bit and start seeing girls in a more sexual way and giving less of a fuck again.

 

[Científico]

Current State of Things

After my seduction disaster last week in Mexico with the girl I SHOULD have closed but didn't due to my own incompetence, I realized I need to do a little better with my interactions with other women to make this whole open-relationship worth it. As opposed to being single, my girl requires a substantial amount of time to keep her happy and satisfied, thus opportunities with other women are more limited and losing girls stupidly hurts more.

Lately I've been putting in little effort into sourcing new women in my home city, so upon coming back from Mexico I've been re-evaluating my routine. I only see my girl on (most) weekends, so I have all the weekdays to be social with other people and find new women.

My current work situation is great for this. Things are going well and we are very likely to hit the sales number for the year at this point, meaning that I'm mostly on cruise control and have minimal work most days.

However, I spend far too much time at home, play too many video games and consume far too much cannabis - so my plan going forward is to concentrate on being more social, approaching more, and hitting the local dance scene a lot more. My goal is to reprogram myself to be more social again as a default, the way I used to be before I had a girlfriend giving me constant dopamine hits and making me complacent.

Upping approach volume again and being more social

Last week I did 11 approaches, only three of them number closed and only one of those numbers was solid. It's a cute little Italian girl that was texting back very fast the day of the close on the metro. We set up the date for two days after, the day of she cancelled citing an upcoming med school exam. I was understanding and she suggested rescheduling for the following day.

Unfortunately, the following day was Friday and that's when my girl was coming down to see me. So I deflected to this week, and then this week the Italian girl is responding less often and less frequently. The momentum is gone. Such is the challenge when you are juggling multiple priorities - had I met her on Friday things may have turned out differently.

I'll problably try a call out text to try to get her out soon, but otherwise might write this one off and just focus on getting more leads. I have found a particular area of my city that seems to have a high concentration of quality girls for cold approach, and I think I'll hit at least 1-2 weeknight dance events a week just to increase my social momentum at the very least. Tonight will be the first one in a while.

Mindset Change

I am becoming more accepting of the fact that even with my new open-relationship circumstances, I still will never be able to duplicate what I was doing when I was single. The energy I can devote to sourcing new women is reduced when I have a girl constantly showering me with love, attention, and sex.

So I'm trying to see every single approach as a win, as an end in and of itself. This is already a useful mindset when single but even more important now. Dates and sex with other women are bonuses, but I'm confident they will come if I put in enough reps. That's how it always worked when single.

Dating apps are still working to get some leads, but cold approach is just more fun and can deliver higher quality as previously discussed. Which brings me to a note about fitness...

Fitness

Have to throw in this note about my new relationship with food and my body - I am literally at the point where I can quite easily control if I'm losing body fat or gaining muscle/fat by just regulating my caloric intake. Right now I'm at a losing phase and seeing numbers on the scale I have not seen in over 6 months, prepping for another photo shoot at the end of September in which I hope to improve several of my dating app photos at a low body fat %. I am proud to have reached this point in my fitness journey, and I actually believe I have the COVID-induced solitude to thank. I am in the best shape I have ever been in my life.

Job Situation

It's good as a stated above, but I am also constantly entertaining recruiters from other companies. One thing about my industry I find tantalizing is the possibility that I could take a job with more travel, which is potentially very good for seduction as being the transient traveler immediately disqualifies me as a boyfriend and leads to better logistics in general with hotels. I don't see myself changing jobs anytime soon, but I constantly have it as a back-burner possibility if/when things go south at my current role.

And one final happy note....

VASECTOMY

Scheduled at the end of the month, and with the full support of my girl I should add. I cannot wait to be shooting blanks and eliminate the possibility of little Cientificos for good.

 

[Beck Bass]

As opposed to being single, my girl requires a substantial amount of time to keep her happy and satisfied, thus opportunities with other women are more limited and losing girls stupidly hurts more.

Yeah I know the feeling, starting to get over it thanks to my girl, actually, she's so sweet and nice with me that she makes me wanna share with other girls if I can hehe
It is super tough though as you said, many opportunities you would have as a single guy just close off or become way more complicated when you're in a relationship.

VASECTOMY

Ooh that's craaaazy, I always thought I didn't want kids, but my girl said she wants down the line and I guess I don't find having one or two eventually. She's actually pretty paranoid about me using condoms with her since she really doesn't want kids right now.

 

[Científico]

Ooh that's craaaazy, I always thought I didn't want kids, but my girl said she wants down the line and I guess I don't find having one or two eventually. She's actually pretty paranoid about me using condoms with her since she really doesn't want kids right now.

I have known for >10 years that I have no desire for children, I've just had difficulty pulling the trigger with surgery on my balls until now. I also now have the financial means to pay for what my insurance won't cover (things like this are rarely fully covered in the states).

In a way, this deepens the connection with my girl. It was set from the very beginning of the relationship that neither of us wanted kids, and part of the rationale I gave her for an open relationship was that without kids there is no need for strict monogamy. In contrast, you can pretty much forget about regular seduction when you've got little primates running around to take care of. She knows that me being sterile disqualifies me as a long term partner for most other women that want kids.

I am also excited to avoid any possible pregnancy traps, complications etc that come with shooting viable sperm into women. That risk will be over soon, and I can save my time, money for myself and have sex with one less worry. Can't wait!

 

[Beck Bass]

In contrast, you can pretty much forget about regular seduction when you've got little primates running around to take care of. She knows that me being sterile disqualifies me as a long term partner for most other women that want kids.

Yeah, that's for sure, but I've no idea of when we'll get kids, I would say I still got 5 years or more left, if we decide to have kids at all (I think she told me once she wasn't sure, I'm not sure either).

Can't wait!

Yeah, sounds like a great deal, I would do it if I was sure as well!