Thanks for the reply guys.
The question I ask pertains more so to first impressions. Impressions based strictly off of your looks.
Her statement came to her as moment of clarity in which she was surprised to see that there existed another side of me outside of impressions based on looks and quick conversation.
Example: you see a girl who is has a great sense of fashion with a walk that is both sexy and confident; her face is certainly above the average plain jane and you can't help but wonder what she's thinking about when you note that her facial expression is one of deep thought and purpose. You haven't said a word to her yet but you want to talk to her even though she hasn't given you any sort of sign that she wants to be opened.
To add more...
What would you do in real life? Your thoughts and actions, what would they be like walking up to her? Nervous, shitting confidence, or a tactile approach that keeps you level headed? You end up opening her and she is surprised but steels herself once again after realizing that she doesn't know you. Her automatic response is to be a little defensive and weirded out, but she's stopped to hear what you've had to say so you encourage yourself to keep going and see where things may lead to. You make conversation, basic questions to feel each her out. You note that her facial expressions reveals very little information about what's going on inside of that pretty little head of hers; the only thing you know is that she is scanning and analyzing you with her cool, calm eyes: up and down, left and right, sometimes she stops to give you eye contact, but you can't seem to capture her attention any longer than a few seconds at a time. Her answers are matter of fact as well: quick, polite, revealing as little information as possible. You are a little worried because she isn't putting in any effort to help you out here, the only thing that is keeping you going is the thought that "she hasn't left yet, she hasn't left yet." After running the gauntlet, she tells you that she'd love to keep talking but she has to go. You're thinking, "Man I totally fucked this up. This girl would never go out with me. It's clear she was just being nice because I walked up to her. Oh what do I care, she seems really boring anyway. I bet she has no mind for fun, all business with girls like her." But you check yourself again, thinking, "Man, you've come this far, what do you have to lose?" So you ask for her number and to your surprise she agrees and you exchange digits.
If we switch the roles, I think this is how girls (not just girls, but most people) feel around me. There is this pressure in the air that creates tension and the other person(s) just have this need to please, to validate oneself, to establish rapport. The reality behind such people may be something less than perfect or having it together; I'll let you guys fill in the blanks.
PN,
I think I am definitely in with this girl because she is giving me a lot of the positive cues that you mentioned in your response so I am thankful
You are definitely right about the eye contact being really strong. If I give my usual eye contact, this girl's facial expression would exude this, "Oh gosh, what did I do look," and suddenly she is more cautious about what she says or does around me. Is this a good or bad thing? I think it is a double edged sword in the sense that a girl will be more inclined towards aiming at saying the "right" thing but establishing comfort is a bit more difficult. Does anyone know what I should do in this case? How to relax a girl... The only time I feel like things are working, in terms of getting a girl to relax, is when I rely more so on my own experience and use the info from GC when I really need it.
I think if you get it too often in a negative way that you need to add a bit more playfulness and a few smirks/smiles into your interactions. Especially on a date, you don't want it to feel like an interview or a job. But, at the same time, the complete opposite of serious is "really fun guy" that is the clown and is completely void of anything sexual in women's eyes.
This is right on the money. I'm literally in the baby-stage of this whole playful-serious subject. Again, this is probably an experience thing that will develop by spending more time with girls and meeting more girls.
I would take it as a signal you need to loosen up a bit and be more playful with her. When you hear her say these things you should really hear her saying "feel free to actually excite me at any point". Sorry if this all sounds a bit harsh but that's my interpretation; a girl will never come straight out and say you are boring her, she will just throw hints like this out there.
Also agree with this Doc, and I encourage you to be as straight-forward as possible haha. Communication over the internet can be quite difficult. I've definitely increased my level of playfulness even though I don't really like it... I feel like I am dealing with a child everytime this happens, not just this girls but all girls. I just know right away when someone is bullshitting me or trying to act cute and I just don't like it.... another indicator that I really need to loosen up and relax.
I have toned down much more than how I was last week, but I have a loooong way to go!
- TWF
