Concerns of Attraction Window Expiration

[NewBeeWinner]

Hey guys,

Something I've noticed and want to tweak in myself.

When I go on a date with a girl and we dont have sex on the first date for whatever reason, Im very conscious of their attraction expiring so Im always aiming to get them out on the next date quickly (the next day if possible, assuming the first date went well).

But I've noticed quite a few girls actually push it off - sometimes even playfully or will play hard to get.

I get it - it's a test. Didn't lay on the first date so I get it.

But sometimes I want to just smack a girl n say "youre into me but youre making things worse for yourself ya dummy!"

Like jeez. Anyways, I usually text them to follow up and girls lately have been taking it like Im chasing them "oh why do you want to see me again so soon?" a girl I recently went on a date with told me.

Like Im seriously not that desperate. I really don't care to get a date again but I would like to if Im able.

And yes, sometimes I do project onto a girl (especially if I do want her as a girlfriend - since I seem to struggle in my town to find girls i want to make into girlfriends) - but I usually am self-aware and can catch this in myself.

I even start to lose attraction once a women starts making too much of a game of it and is a pain in the ass to get out a second time.

So I don't want to come across like Im chasing, but I do want to be conscious of attraction expiring and getting the girl out again quickly.

What's the best way to strike this balance?

NBW

 

[ulrich]

“Oh, so why you el want to see me again so soon?”

“Soon?? I don’t know, it just feels right.”

 

[NewBeeWinner]

“Oh, so why you el want to see me again so soon?”

“Soon?? I don’t know, it just feels right.”

"oh I thought about waiting for a month"
"but you seem happy I asked so why not"

was my response to that lol

 

[TomInHo]

Hey guys,

Something I've noticed and want to tweak in myself.

When I go on a date with a girl and we dont have sex on the first date for whatever reason, Im very conscious of their attraction expiring so Im always aiming to get them out on the next date quickly (the next day if possible, assuming the first date went well).

But I've noticed quite a few girls actually push it off - sometimes even playfully or will play hard to get.

I get it - it's a test. Didn't lay on the first date so I get it.

But sometimes I want to just smack a girl n say "youre into me but youre making things worse for yourself ya dummy!"

Like jeez. Anyways, I usually text them to follow up and girls lately have been taking it like Im chasing them "oh why do you want to see me again so soon?" a girl I recently went on a date with told me.

Like Im seriously not that desperate. I really don't care to get a date again but I would like to if Im able.

And yes, sometimes I do project onto a girl (especially if I do want her as a girlfriend - since I seem to struggle in my town to find girls i want to make into girlfriends) - but I usually am self-aware and can catch this in myself.

I even start to lose attraction once a women starts making too much of a game of it and is a pain in the ass to get out a second time.

So I don't want to come across like Im chasing, but I do want to be conscious of attraction expiring and getting the girl out again quickly.

What's the best way to strike this balance?

NBW

This means you are not coming across as intriguing on your first dates. If you are knocking it out the park, a lot of girls will try and schedule a second date with you or will be very compliant to your advances

Pay attention to feedback because if one girl told you this....

Like jeez. Anyways, I usually text them to follow up and girls lately have been taking it like Im chasing them "oh why do you want to see me again so soon?" a girl I recently went on a date with told me.

Then it means many other girls think you are coming across as overeager and are not telling you.

But while you're working on improving your presence on your first dates, you need to change your texting strategy between dates. You can try pinging them between dates to keep momentum, but then not actually set a date. Just tease them with future projections and see if they bite on scheduling another date

So do this

Date 1
.
.
.
Ping - Banter - Soft Close - Hard Close (credit @Skills)
You can ping every 1-3 days and banter. If she bites on your soft close then you setup the date. If she doesn't you rinse wash and repeat
.
.
.
Date 2


So don't stress about attraction expiring. You can only fuck a girl as fast as she will let you. So you can either learn how to ride her state changes, or you can improve your game to speed up the process

 

[Rakehell]

60yoc :

It's not the sex that has to happen fast - it's the making attraction official part. You can and should make attraction mutual very quickly because she has most likely already made her decision about you.
Now you can relax and take your time because sex is a mood based decision.
But instead people wait so long before trying to make attraction official - that is the real area where time is wasted - not the waiting for sex. If attraction is mutual who cares if you go on a few dates.
It's never too early to make attraction official - you can do it in 1 second. It may take three dates before you get physical but you can make attraction mutual in 1 second.
You will never be confident enough to do the risky verbal and physical things you need to do to arouse her if you don't know if it's mutual. You will half-ass it. Sure, it's one thing to make an overt move that lets her know you like her (caressing her leg) but it's quite another to make an overt move where you are testing to see if she touches you back (hand caressing). You might not be scared to let her know you like her - but you still fear the move that will tell you if she likes you back. There are girls who like you but won't participate much in the seduction - the arousal phase will be difficult.
When attraction is mutual you will only need to be persistent about getting her alone with you - not as much with arousal. That's because she wants to be aroused - but might be a bit of resistance getting her alone.
from stranger to friend (the introduction) from flirting to attraction official (iom)

Even though there’s some truth to women moving on when you take too long, I think the mantra was meant for guy’s who will dawdle when a girl is ready. Guys who are scared to escalate.

If you’re hitting her windows, and actively trying to have sex, then I don’t think attraction expiring is a problem you have to stress about.

You’ve made yourself a sexual option.

 

[D. Gately]

If you have a dominant sexual frame when you pick up or talk to a girl, she will not ask why you want to meet again, unless you're very overeager and pushing for like the following day.

It's literally never happened to me. Once you're forward with your intent - build comfort first of course - she'll either decide then if she hasn't already if she's willing to meet you for sex.

If you exchange numbers and she is nonresponsive or mono-syllable, then yeah she's not interested. Roll off. Meet more girls and practice your comfort and charisma.

When you've intrigued her and she sees you as a sexual prize/partner, she will agree to your time and place for a meet when she's free. Whether she's 19 or 24 or 29 or 36.