FR++ "CurlyPhotographer"

[Higher]

Were there, cuddling under a warm cover on the sofa, kissing and touching each other. She is a stunning Latina: curly black hair, big brown eyes. Full, soft lips. Warm and sweet. Great energy and great body. Shes telling me "i dont like period sex, but if you keep doing what youre doing ill change my mind".

Yet, I couldnt get hard.

--

Back 9h ago or so. Im abroad, visiting a city ive never been to and keeping an eye out for cute girls. Ive been out in the morning, and barring a sweet young student girl and another Latina tourist that i didnt push things forward with, i got rejected from all 3 directions of space and 1 of time by all sorts of femmes. Worthy of note were:

- a chubby but really cute 20yo (i actually met her at the airport the day before). She was very flirty and enthusiastically suggesting a few times that we go for drinks that night, only to flip a switch after i told her my real age (i havent made this mistake enough times apparently);

- a tall, pretty Nepalese girl, who began an eye-roll motion when she had a hunch i was going to hit on her, only for me to see that coming and seamlessly switch informational before she could fully reject me (sorry, not gonna take this one);

- two 40-ish German women who were not really in the mood for a chat;

- one cute, tall, blonde girl who smoothly walked away with a smile as i was mid-sentence.

After finally deciding to retreat home at the 3h mark, i had to rub one out and sleep a bit. Upon waking up, i ordered myself to take a shower and fucking go out again, and thats what i did.

So now im out again, exploring an area i havent been to yet. Thats when i see her among other tourists. I take some pics of the river, trying to gauge the right moment to approach, then i open as she walks past me.

The interaction flows very naturally. We have similar energy levels and turns out she speaks my native language fluently and lives in a major city of my own country.

Long story short, we spend pretty much the whole afternoon together, with her being initially a bit distant but opening up gradually as the connection between us grows stronger. I wanna invite her home, but i dont think ill have the chance to, because she tells me hey, i think ill grab the next bus and go to X other part of the city. I suggest we visit one last building in the area were at and then ill let her go. I really mean it, and she probably senses that.

A few minutes go by and were at the building, and i think to myself, ok, ive been deep-diving pretty much the whole time here, and apart from a few touches and light flirting, i havent really raised the temperature. So now i refer back to something she said earlier to steer the convo towards her previous relationship, and she tells me about her ex-husband and the non-existant sex situation.

Unfortunately what she describes is pretty much whats been happening to me lately: dude couldnt get reliably hard and sometimes came in seconds. She tells me how that made her feel unwanted, unattractive and undesired, and I think to myself, oh shit, dudes older than me and had this problem? Ill for sure screw up with her too.

For a moment im thinking about bailing, but i realize were now much closer to each other. Shes looking at me more intensely now, probably because i showed some vulnerability while talking about my previous relationships that she found attractive. So im like, fuck it, shes too cute and sweet: if we get home and i cant get hard, ill go through it somehow.

So i suggest we grab a drink, and she proposes we go to the X area she mentioned earlier. This is not entirely good, because A) we get further away from my flat, and B) theres some walking to do and the vibe will for sure de-escalate. However i roll with it. We reach the X area, we grab a wine and we sit in a crowded area. Again, not the ideal place for escalation, but whatever.

We chit-chat a bit, then i steer the convo back to sex and relationships. She opens up more and cries a bit when talking about her ex. I comfort her and tell her that were both optimists and that lifes still good. Then i gaze in her eyes and she gazes back, smiling. I say "have you ever kissed a guy you randomly met on a street a few hours earlier?" She says no and i pull her in for the kiss.

Her soft, full lips really turn me on, and i pull back first. We spend the next hour or so kissing and drinking a bit, then i invite her home. Shes like, "we can go, but i cant make love, im on my period", and im like, no worries, we can just have a chat. So, off we go.

--

Fast-forward 1-2h and were back to where this story started. I kiss and touch her amazing body and she kisses and touches me, and im limp as fuck. Thats where i mismanage the situation a bit: when she stops for a second to ask me if i really wanna do it, my ego tells her "you know, im not really a fan of period sex, never liked it". Which is not true, i never had any problem with it before. She understands and pulls back a bit, but keeps tempting me. We ultimately give up and chat a bit. I take her to the bus stop and we kiss goodbye.

Now, a better way to handle it would have been to say, you know, i really find you attractive and period sex is not a problem if its not for you either. However ill need some time to get ready and ill need you to be patient. Problem is, i still wasnt sure i could get hard even with us taking things slower, so my brain decided to put sex off the table. Maybe i should even have mentioned it in the X area we were at before, when she said she couldnt make love tonight.

Anyway, thats that. Shes super sweet and needs love, both in the physical and emotional forms. Hope she finds it soon.

Btw, ill cut back on the masturbation (might explore semen retention), and im considering Cialis, at least for first-time sex. Just dont wanna depend on it.

 

[gameboy]

You mentioned rubbing one out before meeting her, so that's probably the reason you couldn't get hard. Same thing happens to me sometimes.

Otherwise well done, kudos for the almost-lay!

I'm wondering how you opened her, and how you got to the hook point? That's my main sticking point at the moment (just starting out with daygame).

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Congrats for going for it man! Ι've had some issues with sexual performance anxiety lately so I can feel your pain.

One thing I can say is that if you function well when by yourself, then it should be mostly psychological when with a woman. Depending on your masturbation habits it could help to cut down on it surely, that said I would propose that eventually being in the moment, completely focused on the woman is the best aphrodisiac/solution for situations like that. And not just for you to get an erection because of it, but also for the woman to feel appreciated and desired.

I feel that for me personally the worst sex when I prematurely ejaculated wasn't because I did it, but because of how it affected my approach to the rest of the experience. Of course keep working on other lifestyle things like changing masturbation habits to boost your confidence when the time comes. When it does come, I think it's helpful to have a mindset of "Screw it, I like her, I'm here to offer a good time, and I can do that no matter what happens with my dick". Changing to this from "Damn, what if I finish early again, I have to do my best to last", and taking her in with all my senses is something that has worked well for me.

 

[Higher]

@gameboy, @ChrisXKiss --

Thanks a lot for chiming in! Solid advices that ill keep in mind.

Ive never had big issues with ED until Sep/Oct this year -- in summer i was seeing a girl with whom i was constantly hard as a diamond in bed. It was like fucking Nature itself. Then i saw her again end of October and i couldnt do much. With another girl i could get hard but came in like 2 seconds.

Its for sure psychological -- maybe im a bit depressed. Probably due to the weather/season, probably something else too.

The only things i would do differently with the girl in this report tho, are first that i wouldnt lie about the period sex, and second that i would at least try. I quickly gave up and went hiding without really trying. Maybe it would have worked out well in the end. Or maybe not, but at least we would have been fully naked on top of each other, playing with each others bodies and connecting a bit deeper.

I'm wondering how you opened her, and how you got to the hook point? That's my main sticking point at the moment

I asked her to take a pic of me with my phone. She had a camera, so i said sth like, i trust youre a better photographer than i am. She was smiling and very receptive, and asked me where im from.

From then on pretty casual chat about my country. She was still smiling and very warm and asking questions. Then i was like, i wanted to visit X place. She was like, yeah im going there too. So we went together.

She was really open to be approached, and i happened to be the right guy at the right time.

Kudos to you for starting out with this thing! Best thing i ever did.

Cheers!
-en

 

[Beck Bass]

ill cut back on the masturbation

Deff can help but you also gotta look further into your psyche to see if there's something that can be done, before or in the moment.
In my experience it can be pretty random when I can get hard or not. I sure do masturbate a lot, but with some girls and situations I can get hard almost instantly, even after cumming, and in others I can't get hard at all. I do know alcohol can be a problem for me, mostly just because of being dehydrated (I do know I tend to be better, like more rational and less needy, at game, during post nut clarity though lol, but yeah, it tends to make getting harder much harder, like your body needs a bigger reason to get hard after you already came not long ago).

Even if you're not drinking, try to stay on top of your hydration and having a balanced diet, so you feel you can "perform" at any time, maybe even consider some aphrodisiac products or ways to excite yourself sexually throught your rotine, so it's not unexpected when you "need to get hard" for a girl. I think sexual arousal can be treated much like a skill, try paying attention to what type of things make you horny and when, and then try to use that to arouse yourself when you want.

 

[Higher]

@Beck Bass --

Great tips, especially about hydration and arousal.

I recently realized that I haven't been in much of a sexual state when interacting with a girl, and I've been visualizing sex too much as a "task" as opposed to as a shared experience. I'll follow your advice for sure!

-en