Dates, Girls, and Money - Who Pays?

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
1,310
Location
South Florida
I never pay for shit I split everything 50/50. If she don’t like it I say “do you have a job?” If she says no downgrade her and say are you a lazy persons without motivation? Makes her feel guilty

if yes then she can easily pay and it’s not a problem.

And how is this working for you to get laid???

guys btw is not like i do not get my $20 or whatever first dates investment back, as we date, women spend waaaaaayyyy more than that on me for the duration of the relationship.... I am also talking in the context pre fuck
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Well that was never an issue here. As a man in late career dating women 25 years younger, the girls I meet usually earn significantly less than I do. It wouldn't make sense at all to ask them to split. They would view me as cheap guy, and they would be right.

So I never even got there. I just paid every single bill.

It didn't prevent me from getting dozens of them in my bed afterwards.

The trick, I guess, is I didn't act like the lame needy provider kissing their ass (spiritually). Also. I quickly learned to avoid the dating provider cliches like the fine dining restaurant. My best date template has been a lounge bar, or a coffee shop.

Also, smoothly leading them to the bed on date 1 is a ballsy lover move which keeps you away from the boyfriend zone.
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
GP,

Taking a different track of you're going to these high end venues I say own the "boss" frame.

If a girl says something about splitting the bill then just say something obnoxious (yet true) and let her fuck or walk right then n there.

Something perhaps like: "you know what's rude? All these sissy men that buy girls extravagant dates all in hopes they can hang it over their heads in exchange for sex. If they had any self respect they just go buy a prostitute, what is this the 1920's? I take great care of my women once we're sleeping together but I'm a gentlemen I don't believe in prostitution. We'll split the bill tonight, if this turns into something I'll take you to the rainbow and back baby."

If she walks it wasn't a good fit. If she stays attraction spikes through the roof and you can likely lead her straight to sex.
 
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BigPapa

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 12, 2020
Messages
601
From my point of view @Mr.Rob what are you saying makes sense but is a double edge sword .
From experience good looking girls have a big ego and they might just auto reject thinking that you do not like them enough to buy a drink or think that you are cheap , especially if she is young ( under 28 )

this goes perfectly with the career women that are a little bit feminist and are somehow independent , the downside of this is that usually they are not as good looking as the good looking ones from above . Sure there might be exceptions , but usually this is the rule .

Rather than going to an extravagant place , I think it is just better to go to a cosy one that has a more intimate feeling and somehow feels like home ( plus is cheaper ) . It would be great if you would also display social value by knowing the people working there and just tell her that you just feel a family vibe when you go there and that is why you like so much .

I did this when I was younger and with limited budget and had better results due to the cosy feeling the place had and the girls would reflect the same feeling of familiarity and closeness :)
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
From my point of view @Mr.Rob what are you saying makes sense but is a double edge sword .
From experience good looking girls have a big ego and they might just auto reject thinking that you do not like them enough to buy a drink or think that you are cheap , especially if she is young ( under 28 )

It's kinda the point. Sure you'll alienate girls you might've slept with otherwise but the girls that accept a dominant frame like that become putty in your hands.

I had a multi million aire boot camp instructor who'd just say the most obnoxious anti feminist things, his strategy was alienate 9 out of 10 girls but that 1 girl that hooks will think I'm Jesus.

He had a lay count North of 400. Thing is you've got to have the "boss" frame from the get go. You can't be nice and polite and then pull out a show doing line like that and expect it to work.

Congruency is always key.
 

BigPapa

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 12, 2020
Messages
601
Makes sense what are you saying , but in the same time it depends a lot on what you want to achieve .

me personally I get bored if the girl looks up at me too much and does whatever I tell her to do . I like girls that have personality and tell me to fuck off when I cross the line too much .

in the same type I also think is good to add that I am quite arrogant by nature and the girl showing teeth when I do things led by my ego just gets me to the ground again , otherwise I will just be a Dickhead and just drain the life out of her . I would not care too much but I am also quite empathic and then just feel bad for what I did .

but yeah , if you want or need someone to lick your ego wounds and feel like the best man in the world , then for sure what @Mr.Rob seems like a good filter :)
 

Sub-Zero

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
GP,

Taking a different track of you're going to these high end venues I say own the "boss" frame.

If a girl says something about splitting the bill then just say something obnoxious (yet true) and let her fuck or walk right then n there.

Something perhaps like: "you know what's rude? All these sissy men that buy girls extravagant dates all in hopes they can hang it over their heads in exchange for sex. If they had any self respect they just go buy a prostitute, what is this the 1920's? I take great care of my women once we're sleeping together but I'm a gentlemen I don't believe in prostitution. We'll split the bill tonight, if this turns into something I'll take you to the rainbow and back baby."

If she walks it wasn't a good fit. If she stays attraction spikes through the roof and you can likely lead her straight to sex.
It's kinda the point. Sure you'll alienate girls you might've slept with otherwise but the girls that accept a dominant frame like that become putty in your hands.

I had a multi million aire boot camp instructor who'd just say the most obnoxious anti feminist things, his strategy was alienate 9 out of 10 girls but that 1 girl that hooks will think I'm Jesus.

He had a lay count North of 400. Thing is you've got to have the "boss" frame from the get go. You can't be nice and polite and then pull out a show doing line like that and expect it to work.

Congruency is always key.
I like all the shit you saying bro, that boss shit is for real.

I was starting to worry that everyone on here was against the original idea of going half on dates.

I mean a coffee and drink aren’t much to care about, but to actually not have to pay. Idk why but it excites me lol.

It’s like going against the grain.

Plus all that shit adds up, you go on enough dates during the week you could be spending like $80 a week.

Fuck that.

Going half or having her pay for you is some good shit that I like to hear.

Boss shit.
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
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Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
@BigPapa
Lol you don't have to be so patronizing.

I'm just giving OP an outside of the box perspective to consider.

When your stuck in a rut sometimes the best thing is to get extreme to break the mold.

Personally that style of game isn't my go to but it's good to have in your back pocket on occasion.

me personally I get bored if the girl looks up at me too much and does whatever I tell her to do . I like girls that have personality and tell me to fuck off when I cross the line too much

This type of game works best on these types of confident/dominant girls actually and is the best time to break it out.

Even the strongest women still want to submit to a dominant man, even if only for the moment.
 

BigPapa

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 12, 2020
Messages
601
@Mr.Rob i am not patronizing you haha , just making a discussion and trying to see smart things That I might be missing , just like you mentioned . I am quite straight to the point in how I talk usually and I guess is a difference of culture as Europeans are more direct than Americans :) .

i agreed and still agree with you that is an interesting move just that I was making comments to see if it would work on the type of girls that I like :)
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
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Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
Oh I see yes, the language barriers can get things lost in the cracks yeah.

All good. It's not a style a game that's gonna work for most people.

The cool thing about game is there are 100's of ways to seduce girls. But to find success you have to find the style or styles that are most congruent and work best for you.
 

BigPapa

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 12, 2020
Messages
601
@Mr.Rob if you ever travel to the Netherlands the bright side is that everyone pays for his things , hence the term of going Dutch .

the dark side is that Dutch girls have such a big mouth and say whatever pumps out of their mind that is a miracle if you do not get offended at some point during the interaction, even though they did not want to offend you just speaking their mind haha
 

FunGuy

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
54
I always expect to pay for everything, all of my dates are budget friendly. Id say at least 50% of girls offer to pay their part or at least for a round of drinks, but thats just a bonus. I prefer going out to a laid-back place for drinks, usually on happy hour or days where there are specials. I go to the same 2-3 places. I stay away from places where you have to sit across from each other, it makes kino awkward. Plan B for girls who don't drink is usually some variation of a coffee/smoothie date.

I have noticed that girls are a lot more flaky nowadays. I try to avoid having to text much but I feel like if there's more than a 2 day gap without communicating, they start to forget about you and find an excuse to cancel plans. Does anyone have a process for dealing with that lag time in between setting up the date and actually going on it? I am conflicted whether I should focus on getting more investment BEFORE asking them out or just focus on sustaining communication momentum til the day of the plans.
 

Michal

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 5, 2013
Messages
271
I was raised under "who invites, pays". Now I am glad I got out of that mindset before I would meet a chick who wants to pay and argue with her.
If she is a student, or seems like her budget is low or lives only with one parent, I will just pay.
Sometimes I mention I enjoyed her company to kind of indicate that is one of the reasons I paid. And not "just because". Or I wil say she can pay the next time. Or if we are heading somewhere, like quick bite, I say that I pay the drink and she can pay the food.
When she clearly has a job, and looks professional, I usually struggle. Some girls offered to pay. Some are hesitant and I cannot really read it. There was this one girl where I misread it and even the waitress said ".. and the coffee and the muffin?" after I paid my own. And when we got out, the girl seemed much more distant. I pay when it's too busy around the bar, I pay when I really enjoy the company, I pay when the waitress gives sort of a expectation that I will pay everything, not to create some awkward moment. If I invited a girl something like a concert, I would tell her upfront that I will pay for it because it was my idea and it is a bit more pricy than a coffee. Had a date like that only once and she just told me that it is not a problem, she will pay her ticket and that it is a cool idea to go to X.
The disposable income I have after paying everything I need for the month is enough for like 130 dates anyways. And I have savings for thousands more. I have like 3 - 8 dated a month nowadays on average, so I not view money as not much of an issue.
Sometimes I even talk about the topic with girls. The girls I go out with are usually very aware of things and smart. So get her view on this and also set some basis for how we could handle finances if it goes more serious direction.

Anyways, the view on the whole investment thing... I would say what Chase wrote in that article is not "she should pay", but "be so charming, interesting and cool so that she feels like paying for the date is her part."
 
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