Daygame Reminder: Slow the F down

[Atlas IV]

Here's a small tweak that I guarantee will make your daygame approaches go more smoothly, especially for guys (like me) who have an ingrained habit of talking too quickly.

When you go up to a girl, instead of just belting out your opener:

You: Excusemeijusthadtocomeandtellyouithinkyourereallybeautiful
HB: *Shocked* Oh, thank you. But I'm in a hurry. I have to go now. Bye.

Try this:

You: (Walking slightly past her to get her noticing you peripherally, then with a wave and a friendly smile) Hi!
HB: *Surprised Pikachu face* Hi
You: (Strong eye contact and smile as if you're greeting an old friend) How are you?
HB: *Puzzled* I'm good, thanks. Um...
You: Listen, I saw you over there (points just behind, making her turn to look back), and I just had to come and tell you...
2 second pause
You: That you...
Anticipation builds
You: *Cheeky sly half-grin* Are...
Pause again, milking the tension
You: (Spoken slowly with a warm, soft smile) Really beautiful
HB: *Relieved, blushing* Oh (laughs) Thank you
You: I noticed you have a really well put together outfit and it grabbed my attention. So I just wanted to come and say hello. Hi, I'm Atlas (extends hand)
HB: I'm Jane

Warm hand clasp, strong eye contact, pause another couple of seconds, then go into assumption stacking until she hooks.

What I've found is that the opener is overwhelmingly the most important part of the approach. It sets the vibe and determines how well the rest of the interaction goes.

Most girls will decide within a few seconds whether she likes you or not, and generally if you delivered the opener well (and fundamentals are solid), the rest of it will go smoothly. If you didn't deliver it well, and the opener was rushed/awkward, then she will feel an urge to leave, and the rest of the interaction will go to shit.

And I have also found that the way in which I deliver the opener matters far more than the opener itself.

For example, whether I compliment her about her fashion, her style of walk, ask her if she's single, tell her she looks like my ex, or simply tell her that I think she looks great - I honestly can't say from experience that any one of these is any more effective than the others (so when I approach girls now I don't even think about what I'm going to say).

What really matters is the emotional impact of it, and that is determined fully by your fundamentals and your control of tension and release.

Most of the time she won't even remember what you said. But she will remember the excitement she felt in that moment.

So if you're finding it difficult to get hooks in daygame, try slooowing it down. Even to the point that it feels weird and unnatural for you. Then, as you get used to that speed, you can calibrate to find your natural pace.

 

[James D]

Amazing tip!

HB: *Surprised Pikachu face* Hi

The surprised Pikachu face is hands down one of the cutest surprised faces ever, period.

 

[James D]

your control of tension and release.

Love how you phrased that.

The control of tension and release is a big part of exuding that sexually compelling energy.

 

[Atlas IV]

Love how you phrased that.

The control of tension and release is a big part of exuding that sexually compelling energy.

Yep, tension a fun lever to play with.

The more I daygame, the less I care about the outcome and just focus on trying to get the girl hot and excited, see how far I can get by pushing her buttons.

Makes it more entertaining for me, and does actually increase the odds of success (despite triggering the occasional FSC reaction).

 

[POB]

Boomarked for sure.
You are becoming a beast man!

 

[Atlas IV]

Boomarked for sure.
You are becoming a beast man!

Thanks brother. Glad you liked it!

 

[Will_V]

Here's a small tweak that I guarantee will make your daygame approaches go more smoothly, especially for guys (like me) who have an ingrained habit of talking too quickly.

When you go up to a girl, instead of just belting out your opener:

You: Excusemeijusthadtocomeandtellyouithinkyourereallybeautiful
HB: *Shocked* Oh, thank you. But I'm in a hurry. I have to go now. Bye.

Try this:

You: (Walking slightly past her to get her noticing you peripherally, then with a wave and a friendly smile) Hi!
HB: *Surprised Pikachu face* Hi
You: (Strong eye contact and smile as if you're greeting an old friend) How are you?
HB: *Puzzled* I'm good, thanks. Um...
You: Listen, I saw you over there (points just behind, making her turn to look back), and I just had to come and tell you...
2 second pause
You: That you...
Anticipation builds
You: *Cheeky sly half-grin* Are...
Pause again, milking the tension
You: (Spoken slowly with a warm, soft smile) Really beautiful
HB: *Relieved, blushing* Oh (laughs) Thank you
You: I noticed you have a really well put together outfit and it grabbed my attention. So I just wanted to come and say hello. Hi, I'm Atlas (extends hand)
HB: I'm Jane

Warm hand clasp, strong eye contact, pause another couple of seconds, then go into assumption stacking until she hooks.

What I've found is that the opener is overwhelmingly the most important part of the approach. It sets the vibe and determines how well the rest of the interaction goes.

Most girls will decide within a few seconds whether she likes you or not, and generally if you delivered the opener well (and fundamentals are solid), the rest of it will go smoothly. If you didn't deliver it well, and the opener was rushed/awkward, then she will feel an urge to leave, and the rest of the interaction will go to shit.

And I have also found that the way in which I deliver the opener matters far more than the opener itself.

For example, whether I compliment her about her fashion, her style of walk, ask her if she's single, tell her she looks like my ex, or simply tell her that I think she looks great - I honestly can't say from experience that any one of these is any more effective than the others (so when I approach girls now I don't even think about what I'm going to say).

What really matters is the emotional impact of it, and that is determined fully by your fundamentals and your control of tension and release.

Most of the time she won't even remember what you said. But she will remember the excitement she felt in that moment.

So if you're finding it difficult to get hooks in daygame, try slooowing it down. Even to the point that it feels weird and unnatural for you. Then, as you get used to that speed, you can calibrate to find your natural pace.

Good stuff, and well exemplified.

Lot of guys say it's best when they don't compliment a girl, or if they don't make eye contact before approaching, because it puts her guard up. But it's not the interest/attention itself that is the issue, it's the pressure it comes with.

Gazing at her with a soft semi-neutral expression, slowing down during the approach, keeps the pressure low and enables her curiosity to flourish.

 

[Chase]

Splendid post, @Atlas IV!

Adding some delays into the opener really helps give her a little time to check you out and make it more of a dance.

Works even with a shorter opener:

HER: [waiting for a train]​

​

YOU: [look at her out of the side of your eyes, smile, cock your head toward her, wait for eye contact, smile broader when she returns eye contact, open 2 seconds after eye contact established] Going anywhere exciting?​

Longer openers, like the kind you will often use in day game, really benefit from more empty space in the middle of the opener as you deliver it (like your example).

I'm partial to a furrowed brow, intrigued smile (says "I'm curious about you") mixed with a few pauses where it seems like you are considering what to say, as if the idea to talk to her just struck you out of the blue and you're still assembling your thoughts.

There's a pacing and leading element to it. The less she is in "social mode" the more she needs you to gradually lead her into that (rather than just show up and blast her with some rapid-fire opener that leaves her going, "Gahhh! What is happening! Must escape!").

You will see a lot of beginner day gamers get this wrong: they run up, rapid-fire open, the girl runs off; they think "well, she quickly excused herself; I guess she wasn't interested", but the truth is they startled her with a blurted out opener and didn't leave her any time to adjust to their presence.

Thus, the pausing; thus, stretching it out a bit; you are giving her time to take in your presence before asking her to make a decision about how she would like to respond to you.

Chase

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

I used to have a post 15 years ago called "He who doesn't hesitate is lost"... if it's TOO polished and slick, and your opening will bomb.

 

[MrVariety]

The girl I'm dating now tells everyone her first impression of me was that I was socially retarded lol. When people ask how we met she says "He was talking so slowly I got the impression he was not used to talking to people."

I was practicing basically this. + spending time considering what she said before speaking.

Probably not a bad idea to actually exaggerate this to just see how slow you can get away with - and then you sort of automatically find a more natural pace. What opened my eyes to this was how comfortable it was to pick up chicks writing things on google translate in a country I didn't speak the language. It made me realize I didn't need to actually say so many things - at any particular rate - anyway. You don't actually have to say a lot of words.

Mr Variety