Did I react incorrectly or not with these two messages


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Jun 13, 2016
Two separate people

This one is facebook conversation with a female friend only known for a few months but we've opened up a bit about stuff eg health issues.
Her: It's really good
Me: Is it two storys? Do they ID scan after xyzpm
Her: Yes
Her: Yes
Me: xyz pub doesnt id scan...theycheck but dont scan into a computer thats why i prefer it.unless i get there before xyzpm
Her: Why are you worried about that?
Me: Identity theft. Scanning licence including the licence number. Take outnloans in your name online stuff like that. If someone in the scanners was corrupt ya know
Me: If i getan xyz card that might be ok
Her: Lol It's a bar they scan thousands of ids
Her: It doesn't happen like that
Me: Youre an expert are you
Me: *face with monocle emoji*
Me: *thinking face emoji*
Her: No need to be rude
Me: Why doesnt it happen like that?
Me: You were rude to me by " 'lol' its a bar they scan thousands". Laughing at me for having a serious view.
Her: Whatever.
Her: Not up to deal with moody behavior
Me: Its not whatever. You cant give it and not expect it back. Im happy to move on and leave it but i wont take crap
Her: Don't perpetuate an argument that you won't win.
Me: Im not up for dealing with moody behaviour

Second one is online dating. Do not know her this was first contact.
Me: *Wrote a message, maybe it was a bit of a pickup line*
Her: I hate pick up lines....how many times has that line worked for you??
Me: Enough times that is usually starts a conversation with someone and leads somewhere. Saying"hey" doesn't work. In the real world yes, but not online
Me: Hows pof been treating you?
Her: Yeah well it hasn’t worked on me...I’m still using the app, so what does that tell you??
Me: This entire conversation tells me you're having a really bad day and decided to take it out on me. Is this how you treat people in the real world?
Her: Wow...you a woman or a man?? Cos you’re an emotional train wreck
Me: Go away
Her: Gladly *frinning fquinting face emoji*


Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Jun 9, 2019
Also calibrate after the fact if a girl responds poorly acknowledge her response like “oh sorry that was a joke I know they don’t go over well with texts sometimes.” In person if you make a distasteful joke “sorry my humor can be a little out there.” After you calibrate immediately change the subject.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Dec 17, 2018
Rain dude! Firstly the guide naturalmikey posted is good, definitely worth reading. There's good articles here that will help as well.

Text one, after you fucked up I liked your commitment. Throwing her line back about moody behaviour was good but not for seduction. Ya fuck up was trying to explain why ya worried about the scanners. It's a heavy topic an trying to convince over text is even heavier. Instead be playful:

I have fake ID because I'm a secret agent, it will blow my cover!
I dont want the door men knowing my address. They can buy me dinner first!

Don't qualify an explain just tease with it. Explain in person if you want.

Second situation was a total train wreck. The pick up line failed miserably. Again be light an playful.

Enough times... then change. Enough times, you look like the girl that would like it...
Enough times, that's my best line! (Let her respond) there's a million other ways to flip this an get her to qualify or to be fun and say other than my line what's the worst one you've heard?

Asking how pof has treated her is shit and she gave you a bored and disappointed answer. It's a predictable question. Again bouncing back on this you could have been... that bad huh? Guess ya ain't met any cool people. Today's ya lucky day!! ...I know a few cool people (if ya into self deprecation humour)
Oh really? Didn't think ya would have been on that long (yes this does validate her but it sounds like she has low self esteem)

If ya text before that was better ya wouldn't have to put out that fire dude! But if ya make the fuck up ya might as well learn to recover.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Jun 24, 2019
Yeah, not good texts unfortunately. You come across as really upset. She says one thing that "triggers" you and you basically lose it. girls don't want to text to be told that they're doing something wrong. They want to have fun, and both of these conversations didn't do that.

In both cases, you end up being very emotional, and the girl is right, this is stuff girls say. girls get upset over text.

So think of two things here. One would be if the conversation was flipped and you were the girl. Would you want to keep talking to this person?

Two is: how would a high value person react? The answer is they wouldn't. They'd keep it fun and playful or just go silent.

Hope that helps!


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Jun 13, 2016
Hey guys,
The first conversation, I'm not trying to get with her, I'm trying to be friends with her as its cool to hangout with her at the bar.

So now this conversation is with another new woman from online:

Me: Well the washing machine is on lol
Her: You better stay and do your washing
So it gets hung out before the rain comes
Me: it'll take 90mins or something, plus I have a dryer the idea there wwas to come and hangout now, then I cant stay too long becaus Id have to put it in the dryer
Her: Washing is most important
You could have done it earlier in the day
Me: Lol
I decide whats important, and I decide how I do my washing. If you don't want to meet this afternoon, even though I'm available, thats ok, but you gotta say that bluntly
Her: Ok I'll say it bluntly
Not today
Maybe not ever
Me: Rightio
So theres rain coming
Her:Hope so
Not much chance of it
Me: Then why did you say earlier to hang it out before the rain comes?
So no reason, just you being you?
Her: Yes
Me: Okay. Can you see how that is a lie? I'm sure if a guy lied to you you'd be calling all sorts of names lol
Her: Wait what
I honestly don't know what your going on about
Me: "hang washing out before the rain comes" when you later said "not expecting rain". so you said rain is coming when it wasn't. So its a lie?
Her: Holy moly are you ok
Me: Yes. Tell me how its not a lie then, so that I understand. I can't see how it isn't a lie, but I'm open to learning
Her: Omg
Men are getting sensitive these days
Don't think your my type soz
Me: Forget about you and I meeting or being a type, are you saying that was not a lie?
Her: Yeah just forget it I don't deserve to be made a liar I work to hard for that

So tell me guys, I don't care if I "played" it wrong. Was she lieing about the rain coming ,thats the definition of lieing, saying something thats not true. And why doesn't this bother anyone else? Doesn't this make you annoyed at the world where people just lie?
Oh... and how can I trust her if we did end up in a LTR if shes so willing to lie , she could just as easily lie about cheating


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Jun 24, 2019
Dude.....no. You're taking this way too literally. It's just a saying, kindof get the sarcastic vibe from when she said that as well. But based on this convo, again, I 100% agree with this girl, you are getting way too sensitive and taking things way too literally (no offence). And you get hung up on the smallest insignificant thing.

Here's the thing, you're taking small things she says and turning them into huge fights. Think about it from her perspective now: does she want to be in a relationship with you if you're going to pick fights about extremely small things?

Dr Feelgood

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 13, 2017
just had a quick view.

generally you are way too attached to the conversation meaning that you care way too much about how you are seen.
social interactions are meant to be fun. unless there is no reason to set a strong boundary stick to keeping a positive vibe.

the thing is with girls (at least in myexperience): once you start explaining yourself (=qualifying) they will further qualify you. And then you end up like you did.
in your texting you come across as super reactive, qualifying and not fun/carefree.