Girl keeps investing in me, replies fast, calibrated and set the frame perfectly. But she keeps making things mysterious regarding dating. Soft closed she agreed very enthusiastic then hard close for the date she comes with: I’ll check my schedule, then asked her 2days again, I’m curious whether you will get a response to this. Called her out on it playfully and she says it’s just how she is as her personality. But the thing is she keeps texting or sending me snaps. I have her number though. I don’t know what to do with her at this point
If she was TRULY interested then she would have accepted right away. I don't know firsthand how to make her jealous enough to accept the date but all indications are that she is using you for attention. Remove the attention. Unfollow her but say nothing. Go on a date with another woman. Don't respond to her texts unless/until she complies and gives you a direct answer. Just know it is most likely a NO to the date.
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She is getting your attention and you are on the hook. Time for a good old parting shot. Also meet more girls, when you meet more girls you tend to get naturally annoyed by one single womans shenenigans and tend to want to next them when they act up too much.
But use the parting shot
But use the parting shot
I don’t meet many girls but I’m still annoyed with this. She put me in auto rejection tbh. I assume it’s because I’m participating too much in the lover role and maybe forgot to show her some provider sides of myself? As parting shot, you mean something like: I have lot of things to do and I already asked for your schedule, please only reach out when you have your schedule ready
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With women there's a piece of advice that I ALWAYS loved:
Ignore what they say and only pay attention to what they do
If they say yes but only have excuses then it's a no. Which means it's time to move on
Ignore what they say and only pay attention to what they do
If they say yes but only have excuses then it's a no. Which means it's time to move on
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Sometimes
When I was brand spanking new there was a girl like this that I knew of. Back then I literally understood nothing, never even kissed a girl yet kinda new
She'd self qualify, make jokes about sex and men's needs and even send me some nearly nude snaps randomly. But when I tried to make plans with her, poof, gone
Looking back, she was an extreme attention whore. I think that's why I hate them now because of how much time I sunk into chasing her
Guaranteed I wasn't the only one either
this is horrible I don’t get what they benefit from it.
She keeps sending me sexy pics of her. 1 pic only to me, but you can see she is making effort to appear sexy and then after that one pic she sent a chain snap of herself (casual selfie). Probably to make me jealous because I keep ignoring her now.
I’m bit scared to messed this up she is personality wise a good match and overall she is literally like me. She is displaying things I usually do often with women and I can understand know why they would resent me for it even though they like me. So I value this girl a lot just based on her personality because I get her. I didn’t send her any message so far and honestly don’t know what to do either rather then ignoring, but I also feel like ignoring won’t help either and she will go to auto rejection as well. This is a terrible situation, I have options but I don’t care much about them as much as I care about her but also reluctant about it because I find myself in autorejection
I’m bit scared to messed this up she is personality wise a good match and overall she is literally like me. She is displaying things I usually do often with women and I can understand know why they would resent me for it even though they like me. So I value this girl a lot just based on her personality because I get her. I didn’t send her any message so far and honestly don’t know what to do either rather then ignoring, but I also feel like ignoring won’t help either and she will go to auto rejection as well. This is a terrible situation, I have options but I don’t care much about them as much as I care about her but also reluctant about it because I find myself in autorejection
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I don't remember where I read this but it makes so much sense:
A man's first priority with women is to have sex
A woman's first priority with men is to get his attention
Attention for women is what sex is to a man, basically
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Here's what I suggest, not knowing just how much, if anything's happened between the two of you. Going off of personal experiences as well as what very little info you gave in the first post:
1) you said you asked her about plans a few days ago; so wait at minimum a week to talk to her at all (although obviously if you somehow see each other in public then you'll need a new plan which I'll talk about down below). Basically, she's on your ignore list for a week at the minimum, although two weeks could be a little long
2) After the week, you can contact her out of the blue randomly. You don't bring up any date plans and you keep the conversation short. Personally, I like sending memes and well wishes. After she responds, because if she's an attention whore she definitely will, talk about how you're going to go do something, anything later on (could be that day, could be a day or two later, whatever). Just talk about how much you're looking forward to it if she asks how you've been (and if she doesn't then you can prompt this with a text like the one below):
--> respond to whatever she says, ask her how she's been and then talk about this amazing thing you're going to be doing soon, example:
Hey Bianca! That sounds like a drag, tests aren't any fun. Hope other than that boring test you've been well! I've got this concert that I'm going to go to tomorrow night that I've been looking forward to for WEEKS! It's going to be amazeballs!
----> once she responds, tell her (DO NOT ASK) that she is welcome to come if she wants. Leave it at that. If she asks for more information then great, if not then it's time to let her go
If, through some unfortunate series of events (loved that book series) you see her in public and she sees you then be friendly, but brief. Try to say that it was great seeing her but unfortunately you have somewhere to be. Work, friends, your mothers ex father's dog needs babysitting it doesn't fucking matter. You got places to me
--> wait a day or two and then go with the text above but preface it with how sorry you were that you had to leave and then ask about how she's been plus talking about how excited you are for your event you're going to go to
This is your best shot based on my limited experiences and those of my friends. Hopefully someone else can chime in as well
Thank you so much don’t like the feeling to be stuck at something and not knowing what to do. Having at least some people going through the same and handling it successfully reassures me a bit and tell myself, well I tried my best and that would be true then! Unfortunately we never met or have seen each other in reallife, .. but I knew we would understand each other well so it wouldn’t matter in the end, I just need the opportunity to meet her and that’s where I would have the upperhand to lead her to bed. I feel confident at least about that. Does your advice still apply on girls I didn’t meet?
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She told me she values fear, I know it sounds weird but that’s what she told me about when I asked her why she likes horror movies. So fear what excites her a lot. You think instilling fear in her would help? But I wouldn’t know how to do that online lol. Maybe sending a comparison video with a jumpscare lol
no but making her jealous what was I thinking anout
I can’t! That’s the worst part because we chatted mostly over Snapchat and the messages vanishes there after 24hours. I only have the logistic text from WhatsApp. But I can tell for sure that she is showing signs of high interest
Wouldn’t it be smart to respond to her sexy vid with you don’t have to prove to me that you are sexy (chase framing + reinforcing sexual frame) + I’m pretty busy lately so just let me know about your schedule so I can pick a day where we both have time(implying scarcity + potential value loss).
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@Raprebell I'll be honest, if it's an online girl then your chances drop the longer you go without a date
To the point where if it's been a week, I don't even bother anymore. Just for the experience I would say go ahead and try, but please prepare for the worst and try to meet other women
Even the game plan that I laid out isn't any kind of guarantee; it's just making the best out of a bad situation. And I can't stress this enough, I'm running off of limited data/experience
As for the valuing fear thing .. sounds kinda weird. As for replying to her, that's just your hormones going a little crazy
Probably another awesome piece of advice I got from a friend: jerk off before texting women
Helps a lot when you're new lol
To the point where if it's been a week, I don't even bother anymore. Just for the experience I would say go ahead and try, but please prepare for the worst and try to meet other women
Even the game plan that I laid out isn't any kind of guarantee; it's just making the best out of a bad situation. And I can't stress this enough, I'm running off of limited data/experience
As for the valuing fear thing .. sounds kinda weird. As for replying to her, that's just your hormones going a little crazy
Probably another awesome piece of advice I got from a friend: jerk off before texting women
Helps a lot when you're new lol
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Dude she's got the entire frame and you're just her entertainment.
You have to re-establish your frame, by asserting the things you like and don't like, what you will accept and not accept. She might not accept it, but remember when they say you have to be willing to walk away, that means WILLING to walk away, not just pretending.
When a woman says 'that's just part of my personality' when it's something obviously unpleasant, that means it's a) a shit test b) she literally doesn't care or 3) she's a mess, none of which are good for you, and none of which can be solved by accepting the frame.
You have to re-establish your frame, by asserting the things you like and don't like, what you will accept and not accept. She might not accept it, but remember when they say you have to be willing to walk away, that means WILLING to walk away, not just pretending.
When a woman says 'that's just part of my personality' when it's something obviously unpleasant, that means it's a) a shit test b) she literally doesn't care or 3) she's a mess, none of which are good for you, and none of which can be solved by accepting the frame.
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This is your number 1 issue - move on man...
Respectfully you're sounding insane with shit like this:
I get it I've been there. You think if you *just* get the right angle it will happen but trust me it won't.
Like a mirage every time you get "closer" she'll disappear.
Girls like her want your attention not you.
Girls who *actually* like you are NOT hard to pin down.
Do yourself and the future girl you'll meet a favor and focus on bringing in new leads e.g. x4 dating apps, x4 cold approaches a day or hitting night game x2 a week every week or all the above.
You'll soon forget about her
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