Hi, my name is Niall and I'm 25 years old. This is probably gonna be a pretty long post, just a heads up.
I'm having some troubles with a girl I'm seeing and was wondering if you guys could give me some help.
Me and this girl, who is really sweet, funny, good-looking, met like 4 months ago in a nightclub. She had a boyfriend at the time who she'd been with for two years. We talked a lot, danced and had fun. When it was time to go home she said out loud that she needed a place to sleep. Her friend, who she was gonna spend the night at, went home with her fling, and this girl she lives out of town and the busses didn't go at this hour, so I said that she could sleep at my place. That night I tried to escalate with her but nothing happend.
We exchanged numbers the day after and texted a lot and she ended up sleeping at my place again the day after. After a lot of resistance she gave in and we had sex. We continued seeing each other while she had a boyfriend. During this period, he was out of town.
The times we met she explained to me how her relationship with him was bad and that he was very controlling and was forcing her to show him her texts, facebook etc. She said that it should've ended but it just didn't happen.
A month after we first met her bf breaks up with her. She is pretty sad at first but still wants to see me and says that it was for the best since they just argued a lot and he was being a dick.
Now we've seen each other a lot since then, like everyday for one or two weeks at a time, and I just can't let go of the thought that she will cheat on me. I mean she did it with me and could probably do it against me.
We recently decided that we are a couple. She then also said "I think I love u", to which I didn't reply. The thing is after we had been dating for like 2 months, so probably one month after her old bf broke up with her, my curiosity got the better out of me so I went through her phone and personal blog, I know it's shameful and I feel really bad about it. I found however that she's been texting this guy who lives in another country a lot of stuff. She said she dreamed about them being naked and kissing, she said that he looked gorgeous and that one day she would kiss him. On her blog she wrote a lot about her missing her boyfriend but being angry at him for being such a dick. Her old bf btw is a really controlling guy, he texted her like 20 times in a row even though she didn't answer, calling five times in a row and she didn't answer. Basically she ignored him pretty much when she was with me, except for short texts.
I confronted her about what I found on her phone and she said this guy was just a friend. That was not true I can assure you since she asked him how long they've known each other to which he replied "I dunno a couple of months" when she told me before his answer they've been friends for years. Anyways when this happend we were kinda in the dating phase but had not said that we were a couple. She apologized a lot for hurting my feelings and I was really close to "breaking up" with her. She cried and said that she would do anything to make this work and that she wanted us to try, to give us a shot. I agreed after thinking- better to try now instead of wondering what could've been.
There are things that tell me that she really likes me for example:
She's almost always the one the text me first
When she sleeps over and I gotta go to work at 8 in the morning, she gets up out of bed just to make me breakfast..
She has that look in her eyes, can't explain it but you guys know the one.
She said "I think I love u". I believe she's just a bit afraid of saying it with the whole I think-part. She says that she's afraid to seem needy and she doesn't wanna scare me away
When she's planning to go out she invites me
She said recently that she wants to get to know me more and that we should go out on like a proper date, since we've just fucked a lot and taking it easy at my place.
She compliments me a lot and said "you're the kind of guy who could get any girl u want, why are u with me?"
I've given her so many chances to get out if she wasn't serious about this, but she hasn't taken them and instead wanted to keep seeing me.
She tells me I'm really hot, nice, supportive and that I make her feel good. She says I'm her best lay ever, she has only been with 5 guys though.
There's more like this, basically most things she does tells me that she's honest about her feelings for me. She told me that she thinks "we" are pretty secure but a small part of her is really scared that I will leave her on a whim and that she will get hurt.
She also says stuff like "If we're still seeing each other when it's christmas I'm gonna get you this or that". When she's talking about stuff we are gonna do in the future she always adds "if we're still seeing each other"
This other day though, I saw an old sweater, that was in her bag that she brought with her clothes and stuff, that her old bf been texting her about that she should pick up otherwise he would throw it away. I asked her if she'd seen him, she said yes and that she was planning to tell me before we went to bed because then we often have like little talks. She didn't want to make a bad mood, which she was right would've and did happen. Anyways I'm kinda over this since she actually did tell me she saw him and didn't lie about it. But how can I know nothing happend between them when they saw each other..?
Sorry for a huge wall of text that's pretty messy. But I just can't figure out if I should leave now or stay with her? Aside from the texting the guy in a different country thing, and that happend when it wasn't really that serious between us. She really hasn't done anything not to earn my trust. And almost everything tells me that she's really into me. She seems to have this great vision of me being heavily preselected and confident etc. Which is true but I've always been so bored with the girls I've been seeing except this girl. Things just feels really good with her except this whole trust issue I have. This girl however has a really lousy confidence and feels really bad about herself etc etc.
I'm just wondering what you guys would make of all this? I can't really figure out what I want to do. I think about this a lot and I worry that she's cheating on me, or texting that guy again or something. I also had a dream last night about her cheating on me with her old boyfriend. Thing is our relationship feels to good to walk away from because I suspect her cheating, without any real proof. What if she isn't cheating and I'm leaving just because I'm insecure. I'm not sure if I wanna stay though because this really isn't the guy I am. In the past I'd leave her for someone else, just because I usually gets really bored with girls pretty fast and want something new.
I've tried to reason with myself though, that I can never control her anyways even if I try and that all this suspecting and thinking really does nothing. If it happens it will happen, I should just try to enjoy the now. I'm just having a hard time getting these thoughts out.
Just random stuff here:
We have really great sex, she comes a lot.
We're really open about everything, she has told me stuff she hasn't even told her best friend. She's tried to kill herself in the past, she was raped by a guy when she was at a party etc, so I know she trusts me, otherwise, why would she tell me really personal stuff like that?
Almost at the same time I found out she texted that guy in another country, I kissed a girl who I was dating about a year ago. I told her this.
She's really supportive and always want's to cook me dinner and do the dishes etc.
To sum it up, she really acts like girls do when they're in love with someone.
If you got this far, thanks for reading, I appreciate it. What would you guys have done if you were in my position?
I'm having some troubles with a girl I'm seeing and was wondering if you guys could give me some help.
Me and this girl, who is really sweet, funny, good-looking, met like 4 months ago in a nightclub. She had a boyfriend at the time who she'd been with for two years. We talked a lot, danced and had fun. When it was time to go home she said out loud that she needed a place to sleep. Her friend, who she was gonna spend the night at, went home with her fling, and this girl she lives out of town and the busses didn't go at this hour, so I said that she could sleep at my place. That night I tried to escalate with her but nothing happend.
We exchanged numbers the day after and texted a lot and she ended up sleeping at my place again the day after. After a lot of resistance she gave in and we had sex. We continued seeing each other while she had a boyfriend. During this period, he was out of town.
The times we met she explained to me how her relationship with him was bad and that he was very controlling and was forcing her to show him her texts, facebook etc. She said that it should've ended but it just didn't happen.
A month after we first met her bf breaks up with her. She is pretty sad at first but still wants to see me and says that it was for the best since they just argued a lot and he was being a dick.
Now we've seen each other a lot since then, like everyday for one or two weeks at a time, and I just can't let go of the thought that she will cheat on me. I mean she did it with me and could probably do it against me.
We recently decided that we are a couple. She then also said "I think I love u", to which I didn't reply. The thing is after we had been dating for like 2 months, so probably one month after her old bf broke up with her, my curiosity got the better out of me so I went through her phone and personal blog, I know it's shameful and I feel really bad about it. I found however that she's been texting this guy who lives in another country a lot of stuff. She said she dreamed about them being naked and kissing, she said that he looked gorgeous and that one day she would kiss him. On her blog she wrote a lot about her missing her boyfriend but being angry at him for being such a dick. Her old bf btw is a really controlling guy, he texted her like 20 times in a row even though she didn't answer, calling five times in a row and she didn't answer. Basically she ignored him pretty much when she was with me, except for short texts.
I confronted her about what I found on her phone and she said this guy was just a friend. That was not true I can assure you since she asked him how long they've known each other to which he replied "I dunno a couple of months" when she told me before his answer they've been friends for years. Anyways when this happend we were kinda in the dating phase but had not said that we were a couple. She apologized a lot for hurting my feelings and I was really close to "breaking up" with her. She cried and said that she would do anything to make this work and that she wanted us to try, to give us a shot. I agreed after thinking- better to try now instead of wondering what could've been.
There are things that tell me that she really likes me for example:
She's almost always the one the text me first
When she sleeps over and I gotta go to work at 8 in the morning, she gets up out of bed just to make me breakfast..
She has that look in her eyes, can't explain it but you guys know the one.
She said "I think I love u". I believe she's just a bit afraid of saying it with the whole I think-part. She says that she's afraid to seem needy and she doesn't wanna scare me away
When she's planning to go out she invites me
She said recently that she wants to get to know me more and that we should go out on like a proper date, since we've just fucked a lot and taking it easy at my place.
She compliments me a lot and said "you're the kind of guy who could get any girl u want, why are u with me?"
I've given her so many chances to get out if she wasn't serious about this, but she hasn't taken them and instead wanted to keep seeing me.
She tells me I'm really hot, nice, supportive and that I make her feel good. She says I'm her best lay ever, she has only been with 5 guys though.
There's more like this, basically most things she does tells me that she's honest about her feelings for me. She told me that she thinks "we" are pretty secure but a small part of her is really scared that I will leave her on a whim and that she will get hurt.
She also says stuff like "If we're still seeing each other when it's christmas I'm gonna get you this or that". When she's talking about stuff we are gonna do in the future she always adds "if we're still seeing each other"
This other day though, I saw an old sweater, that was in her bag that she brought with her clothes and stuff, that her old bf been texting her about that she should pick up otherwise he would throw it away. I asked her if she'd seen him, she said yes and that she was planning to tell me before we went to bed because then we often have like little talks. She didn't want to make a bad mood, which she was right would've and did happen. Anyways I'm kinda over this since she actually did tell me she saw him and didn't lie about it. But how can I know nothing happend between them when they saw each other..?
Sorry for a huge wall of text that's pretty messy. But I just can't figure out if I should leave now or stay with her? Aside from the texting the guy in a different country thing, and that happend when it wasn't really that serious between us. She really hasn't done anything not to earn my trust. And almost everything tells me that she's really into me. She seems to have this great vision of me being heavily preselected and confident etc. Which is true but I've always been so bored with the girls I've been seeing except this girl. Things just feels really good with her except this whole trust issue I have. This girl however has a really lousy confidence and feels really bad about herself etc etc.
I'm just wondering what you guys would make of all this? I can't really figure out what I want to do. I think about this a lot and I worry that she's cheating on me, or texting that guy again or something. I also had a dream last night about her cheating on me with her old boyfriend. Thing is our relationship feels to good to walk away from because I suspect her cheating, without any real proof. What if she isn't cheating and I'm leaving just because I'm insecure. I'm not sure if I wanna stay though because this really isn't the guy I am. In the past I'd leave her for someone else, just because I usually gets really bored with girls pretty fast and want something new.
I've tried to reason with myself though, that I can never control her anyways even if I try and that all this suspecting and thinking really does nothing. If it happens it will happen, I should just try to enjoy the now. I'm just having a hard time getting these thoughts out.
Just random stuff here:
We have really great sex, she comes a lot.
We're really open about everything, she has told me stuff she hasn't even told her best friend. She's tried to kill herself in the past, she was raped by a guy when she was at a party etc, so I know she trusts me, otherwise, why would she tell me really personal stuff like that?
Almost at the same time I found out she texted that guy in another country, I kissed a girl who I was dating about a year ago. I told her this.
She's really supportive and always want's to cook me dinner and do the dishes etc.
To sum it up, she really acts like girls do when they're in love with someone.
If you got this far, thanks for reading, I appreciate it. What would you guys have done if you were in my position?