Do you LOVE cold approach?

[AspiringStoic]

Hi guys!

Please answer honestly, how many of you guys actually LOVE cold approaching?

What I mean is this:

You like it so much, that any free time you find, you are looking to go out and cold approach.

Its like videogames or the gym, you can spend hours doing it and ENJOY it, and it energizes you rather than have it tire you.

You would do it even if you were forbidden from ever getting a date or getting laid. Meaning you would do it just for itself not as a means to an end.

So the reason I ask is because I just hung out with a guy yesterday for a few hours that absolutely amazed me. I was not amazed by his Game, although he did have good Game, I was amazed by how much he seemed to enjoy and love cold approaching.

He could see that I was kind of shocked and so he asked me "Do you love or atleast like cold approach?"

And that question kind of threw me off because I have never thought about it. I started cold approach as a means to an end, I wanted to meet girls that I see around me on an everyday basis.

I also was motivated by all the other benefits in terms of confidence, ability to handle rejection, decisiveness and other good qaulities it would develop in me.

But what cold approach was for this guy was a favorite hobby that he absolutely loved doing.

I hung out with him for 3 hours in which he approached 25+ girls including 2 sets, 3 sets and even one 5 set. He got a bunch of numbers and one instant date, and he had another shot at instant date that he turned down because he wanted to hang out with me more.

At one point we were standing around and we saw a couple of hot milfs walk past and both them had rings on their fingers, which we saw but he still went in and approached them, flirted with them for 5 minutes and came back grinning. I asked him why he approached though we saw that they were married, and he was just like "why not, it was fun anyways!"

I went home after 3 hours of hanging out with him and 10 approaches of my own. He continued for another hour and went on another instant date.

It was a really one of a kind experience because I never met anyone like this. He told me he was a former gamer, who used to play videogames for hours in his free time and then once he found out about PUA, he started approaching and slowly it became his favorite hobby.

That seems like a great place to be. I mean if you love approaching its the perfect recipe for non neediness. I could see that rather than him having some amazing Game what oozed out of him in every interaction was his non neediness.

He seemed like he was already where he wanted to be, doing what he really enjoyed when he was approaching so there was no neediness to "get somewhere" i.e. get the number, date etc.

I am wondering if any of you are like this. I would love to get to this position if its possible.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I would say that I enjoy cold approaching, so I will go out and do it if I have free time, and I also approach girls in groups, girls sitting at cafes or any other weird scenario.

Now, do I go to cold approach whenever I have free time? No. And neither I approach groups or girls inside cafes all the time. I was outside earlier for example and I had a very low energy vibe, so in this situation, I mostly go and talk to girls alone that are not in an extreme hurry.

But I feel that this is normal, it's not the only thing I do in my life. I've got to say though that in periods that I don't have much going on everyday, I do tend to cold approach more, because I generally do like a lot just going out for a walk and approaching at the meantime.

Would I still do it if I had a full roster of attractive women hitting me up to sleep with me? I think yes, but by definition I would have less time for it, if I was meeting multiple women too.

That said I do feel I enjoy much more meeting someone new and discovering how the interaction can go, compared to sleeping with the same person again and again, so for sure I like the fact that cold approaching gives me that.

For the other question, would I be approaching if I knew I would never get laid? It's a difficult one, because we know there is always the possibility of getting laid, I'd have to cut off my penis to really be able to answer this.

I do think though, I personally approach because I feel that I want to experience the energy of a certain woman. And for me the ultimate experience is getting sexual, so if we just flirt for a bit it's not bad, but if we don't go all the way I do feel that something is missing.

You could argue that a guy like the one you met loves just interacting and flirting, so he enjoys cold approaching just for the experience of the approach, but I'd say it's not that different from what I described.

Because it could be that the flirting and exchange of playful vibes is what fulfils him, but then the question would be, would he keep approaching if he knew that all girls were to reject him right at the open and wouldn't let him even have a short chat with them?

If we go that route of what would be the guy that would love cold approaching unconditionally, for me he would have to enjoy opening people even if he knew that none of them will ever stay and talk to him. And of course you can say that for sure some will, but in the same sense for sure some will also go to a date and sleep with you eventually.

So the way I see it is that what you should truly enjoy are the opportunities that open in front of you with a cold approach. You see a woman that pulls you towards her for some reason, and you feel the excitement because you know she may be sweet and open, she may also flirt back with you, then she may even be willing to get isolated with you and build the vibe even more, and eventually she may want to have sex with you.

All these are things that can make you excited about approaching and love it no matter how it goes, because you know that sooner or later you will meet someone that will share with you at least some of these and make it worth it.

Completely saying that I just enjoy it for the approach and not the result is a bit problematic I feel, because to the extreme you could even be flirting and not sleeping with women out of your own choice, basically teasing them hard and leading them to nowhere.

I don't think that the neediness comes from the desire to be sexual with a woman you have just met anyway, to me this is a vital part and an energy that I want communicated between us. The important part that keeps you non-needy is knowing that whether and how far the woman accepts this energy exchange is fine in any case. More is always better of course, but even if she instantly rejects you, or she flirts with you only for a bit because of being married, you should be satisfied of expressing this energy of yours, and meeting the woman where she was willing to be met.

And that is my love of cold approach in conclusion. The ability to self-express and have the possibility of sharing all this sexual energy with a woman that awakes it inside me, giving her the ultimate pleasure of being desired at the level that she is open to experience it.

 

[OldGuy]

Pretty much there. Only difference is I am old enough that spending hours on my feet gets painful, so an hour or two is maximum, but I always enjoy approaching.

 

[gameboy]

I can definitely say I love cold approaching, even though I'm not currently getting laid from it.

Of course there are good days and bad days. But even if I knew I would never get laid from it, I'd probably still talk to girls just because it's fun.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

TL/DR - in order to win, you have to enjoy playing. In order to enjoy playing, you have to enjoy practicing.

Yes, I do love cold approach.

If you don't enjoy the process you can't ever get good at it, imo. Though I can think of a few day game gurus that clearly hate the process but persist and get results.

Among rookies that I see succeed with enjoying pickup. (And then succeed with pickup itself).

1) Take massive action and the action changes their mind. Going out and interacting - the journey- changes the mind.

2) Change their mind, and that leads to massive action. These are guys that say to themselves," I'm the type of guy that does X and not Y".

Both approaches are subtle, but on balance I think they're just as hard as each other.

Many guys fail because they don't/can't do one, or can't/won't try the other.

It's the consistent action with lows and highs that end up building the love for socializing.

It's enjoying the activity that has a two effects.

1) external/3rd party -:Visible enjoyment affects the girls being approached. Happy salesmen sells more cars.

2) internal - Good internal feelings makes the skills better and makes the experience enjoyable. It's why people drink/do drugs and socialize. I'm not surprised that famously closed off cultures only hookup when alcohol is involved.

 

[average_daygamer]

In theory-yes, I love cold approach due to the posibilities and learning curve. In practice, I find, outside of major cities, the skillset is very limited and will lead to a slow trickle of phone numbers, most of which will not reply to the opening message.

 

[JollyRoger]

I really enjoy interacting with attractive women when the vibing and banter is flowing, regardless of the end results.

What I dislike is the 99% downtime between those interactions, trying to find attractive women or getting blown out.

It's not the rejection in itself that I dislike... it's the hours and hours of 'wasted' time.

 

[average_daygamer]

I really enjoy interacting with attractive women when the vibing and banter is flowing, regardless of the end results.

What I dislike is the 99% downtime between those interactions, trying to find attractive women or getting blown out.

It's not the rejection in itself that I dislike... it's the hours and hours of 'wasted' time.

I definitely relate to this.

And this is the inherit flaw in daygame outside of major cities, as your main source of getting laid (or not, in my case).

Today I walked around for 4 hours and barely saw a viable set. I was describing to the lads in another thread about a possible "opportunity" I had today and it was over in less than 1 second.

Another "possible" opportunity today was a girl on a deserted campus sat reading a book on a bench.

As I was walking towards her direction, she turned and looked to see who it was, I guess subconsciously that made me think she was slightly on edge and it was deserted, so I didn't dare talk to her.

But some people may have considered these missed opportunities. For me, I would rather avoid a cringe encounter. I would rather approach a girl on a packed high street with people watching than a deserted campus when she was chilling with a book. Your fundamentals need to be so on point to do that in a non creepy manner.

The high street was indeed packed, but with families, huge groups of foreign exchange students with their teachers and the odd couple here and there and the rest old tourists from other countries. But no approachable girls.

So I walked around for 4 hours doing laps of the city and I trip up to the campus and back instead.

But these hours could have been better spent doing my hobbies that I have all but abandoned in favour of daygame.

When I go up to London is when I can really let loose, it's so nice to be able to go for it after being restricted in a small city.

 

[JollyRoger]

But these hours could have been better spent doing my hobbies that I have all but abandoned in favour of daygame.

Yes, I went through a period of day-gaming in order to learn the basic skill set. I achieved an SDL plus dates that led to LRs. So I believe I achieve a basic component level.

But after that I felt my time was better spent on other pursuits and that day time approaches are best done as I go about my daily life. I spent time on my hobbies and building up my social circle.

I've recently come back to it but I've figured out a way to combine it with a hobby of mine so that I'm getting something else out of it besides exercise. I live in a big capital city and even then I can go hours without seeing anyone I find truly attractive.