Don't Argue with the Inexperienced. Instead Give Assignments

Chase

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Wrote this mainly to address the back-and-forth with a handful of inexperienced/unwilling members some of the more experienced guys are getting sucked into debating with over on the “blonde bombshells are special and unique” thread (see here), but I've seen this happen other places on the boards too.

If a guy doesn’t follow your advice, here’s how you address it:

Give him ONE (1) task to do, and see if he does it.

Various possible scenarios include:

  • 1. He accepts the task, does it, and reports back

    2. He accepts the task, but doesn’t do it, or never reports doing it

    3. He ignores the task and asks for more help / complains more

    4. He tells you the task is impossible or does not apply to him

If he does anything other than #1, just stop giving him advice or trying to help him.

There are two possible scenarios when a guy doesn’t take your advice:

  • Your advice legitimately does not apply to his situation
  • Your advice does apply to his situation, but he’s blind to it

For all intents and purposes, these two are effectively the same, and the verdict universally is “you cannot help this person.”

Whether it’s because your advice does not apply, or he erroneously believes it does not apply even if it actually does (see: the Dunning-Kruger effect), it doesn’t matter, because either way, he ain’t gonna listen to you.

So, for experienced, advice-giving, well-intentioned members dealing with inexperienced members who complain of difficulties but are resistant to the advice they receive, I suggest a hard rule:

Give him ONE (1) task to do, and see if he does it.

If he doesn’t, stop giving him advice or trying to help him unless/until he has a change of heart and starts using your advice (happens sometimes).

I know it feels like you’re leaving a guy high-and-dry, especially when you know he COULD get results if he just does XYZ, but unless you can physically go there and force him to do it you can’t make anyone do something he doesn’t want to do via long-distance communication and words on a screen.

Better to leave the guys who won’t listen to you alone and focus your efforts on helping the guys who are eager to learn from you and value your expertise, purely from a cost-effectiveness point of view.

Chase

P.S., any comments on this thread that say anything about a certain kind of yellow-haired woman being special and unique will be merged over to the bombshells thread for quarantine.
 

Indian Race Troll (IRT)

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I want to say that I am sorry for my posts on the thread. As you can see from my past 3 field reports Chase, I have been trying and will continue to try but unfortunately I have my share of frustrations with the game. It's been frustrating for me in the past years because I have always had brutal experiences with the kinds of women I mentioned.

It's like I crush on these girls, like them, and they always end up with the same kind of guy who is usually white and at times I have my moments of relapse. It can be frustrating to like a type of girl, run your game on her or just approach her at least, and then be rejected by her only to have some of your own beliefs confirmed.

Like with most things in life Chase, I hate losing and I hate giving up. You can look forward to more field reports by me this coming year and brother you can bet you will be reading a lot of field reports by me. Thank you everyone who has been supportive of me and offered advice, I want you to know that it is not falling on deaf ears.
 

Chase

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I've seen them, Altair! That's one of the most exciting things I've seen on the boards this year.

It's real cool when you see a guy who's been struggling with getting motivated decide to get out there and just start doing it.

I'll tell you, when I started approaching girls I was half sure it was going to be a waste of time and I'd get nothing from it too. Actually, my first attempts at 18 were disappointing, and I threw the towel in and got all depressed and didn't start approaching girls again until 22. So, I've been there. Only reason I gave it a shot again 4 years later was because I was out of other ideas (until that point, my goal was to become a music superstar, and then I'd be able to get girls) and my life philosophy is "You know what, screw it, if I've got nothing better to do and It think there's even a slim chance of something working, I might as well try it."

The reason most people don't learn most things, whether it's how to paint or how to build muscles or how to run their own business or how to pick up girls is because they just don't believe they can learn it, so they never put in the initial 20 or 30 or 40 hours necessary to try it enough and see that they actually can get at least a little better at it.

If you can get over that hump, and then look back and say, "Wow - I AM doing a little better than I was when I started out," you're past the hardest part, because now you know that if you're willing to work on it, you can get it.

That hump at the beginning is the part 99% of people never overcome, in pretty much everything (not just girls).

I don't know it's that most people lack discipline, because I think anyone can discipline himself enough to put in the time to get over that hump. I think it's more that most people have never willed themselves to learn anything before, and everything else they've learned has either been organic (like walking) or forced on them by others (like school). So they don't operate inside a paradigm where they really understand that they can take some random thing in life they don't know how to do and, totally on their own, simply by working on it, learn how to do it.

There's this "mystery element" around how other people do stuff they can't do for them because of it, and the simple explanation of, "Well, they just did those things a lot and got better," seems 'too easy' so they don't trust it and look for something more complicated ("They follow the ultra secret process of PUA Routine 47890.1.2") or something inherent ("That guy was born knowing how to talk to women" "That guy has great teeth, and everyone knows women lose their shit around guys with great teeth").

Chase
 
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