- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 5,484
Wrote this mainly to address the back-and-forth with a handful of inexperienced/unwilling members some of the more experienced guys are getting sucked into debating with over on the “blonde bombshells are special and unique” thread (see here), but I've seen this happen other places on the boards too.
If a guy doesn’t follow your advice, here’s how you address it:
Give him ONE (1) task to do, and see if he does it.
Various possible scenarios include:
If he does anything other than #1, just stop giving him advice or trying to help him.
There are two possible scenarios when a guy doesn’t take your advice:
For all intents and purposes, these two are effectively the same, and the verdict universally is “you cannot help this person.”
Whether it’s because your advice does not apply, or he erroneously believes it does not apply even if it actually does (see: the Dunning-Kruger effect), it doesn’t matter, because either way, he ain’t gonna listen to you.
So, for experienced, advice-giving, well-intentioned members dealing with inexperienced members who complain of difficulties but are resistant to the advice they receive, I suggest a hard rule:
Give him ONE (1) task to do, and see if he does it.
If he doesn’t, stop giving him advice or trying to help him unless/until he has a change of heart and starts using your advice (happens sometimes).
I know it feels like you’re leaving a guy high-and-dry, especially when you know he COULD get results if he just does XYZ, but unless you can physically go there and force him to do it you can’t make anyone do something he doesn’t want to do via long-distance communication and words on a screen.
Better to leave the guys who won’t listen to you alone and focus your efforts on helping the guys who are eager to learn from you and value your expertise, purely from a cost-effectiveness point of view.
Chase
P.S., any comments on this thread that say anything about a certain kind of yellow-haired woman being special and unique will be merged over to the bombshells thread for quarantine.
If a guy doesn’t follow your advice, here’s how you address it:
Give him ONE (1) task to do, and see if he does it.
Various possible scenarios include:
- 1. He accepts the task, does it, and reports back
2. He accepts the task, but doesn’t do it, or never reports doing it
3. He ignores the task and asks for more help / complains more
4. He tells you the task is impossible or does not apply to him
If he does anything other than #1, just stop giving him advice or trying to help him.
There are two possible scenarios when a guy doesn’t take your advice:
- Your advice legitimately does not apply to his situation
- Your advice does apply to his situation, but he’s blind to it
For all intents and purposes, these two are effectively the same, and the verdict universally is “you cannot help this person.”
Whether it’s because your advice does not apply, or he erroneously believes it does not apply even if it actually does (see: the Dunning-Kruger effect), it doesn’t matter, because either way, he ain’t gonna listen to you.
So, for experienced, advice-giving, well-intentioned members dealing with inexperienced members who complain of difficulties but are resistant to the advice they receive, I suggest a hard rule:
Give him ONE (1) task to do, and see if he does it.
If he doesn’t, stop giving him advice or trying to help him unless/until he has a change of heart and starts using your advice (happens sometimes).
I know it feels like you’re leaving a guy high-and-dry, especially when you know he COULD get results if he just does XYZ, but unless you can physically go there and force him to do it you can’t make anyone do something he doesn’t want to do via long-distance communication and words on a screen.
Better to leave the guys who won’t listen to you alone and focus your efforts on helping the guys who are eager to learn from you and value your expertise, purely from a cost-effectiveness point of view.
Chase
P.S., any comments on this thread that say anything about a certain kind of yellow-haired woman being special and unique will be merged over to the bombshells thread for quarantine.