What's new

Dropped a girl home and confused about ending!

ILoveElla

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 11, 2014
Messages
64
Well this ended up being quite a bit longer than expected, but should hopefully be a good read. All this happened quite a bit ago, but it's something that I've often thought about as I was left confused as to whether this girl might possibly like me or not. I had already met this girl a couple of times at open mics before the story here. We both perform usually, and I've put it out there in the past that I'd be in to her with the odd joke. She responded well, with the old playful smack at such remarks, and then we'd continue on talking. I've realised that she's actually a bit older than me, but lives the life of someone my age(23) if you know what I mean.

A few months later a friend of mine, who I didn't realise knew both of us, gave my number to her, and we texted a bit. We were therefore pretty much aware that we'd both be at the next open mic. My friend said that her words about me were "that guy, oh he's such a nice man, tell him I said hi"
At the open mic, I went over to say hello to her after her songs. She gestured for me to kiss her on the cheek, and later her friend cracked a joke about us getting married. Shortly after, she insisted we dance. But throughout all this she was a bit too energetic. In one way this energy is just what I need when I go out, but it's not ideal when I'm trying to make advances on her. She asked if I would bring her home, and I said 'I guess it wouldn't hurt'.

But later when I needed to leave, she was taking forever talking to people. I didn't want to look like an idiot waiting around for her, but then again I couldn't afford to just throw away opportunities like this?? I waited a bit as I could see she was no where near ready, and I just chatted to a few folks. I then said something to her like, "I'm leaving now, if you want a lift". She then said "hang on, I must say goodbye to....", giving the impression it would take a minute. I over-heard someone around making a few comments that I was going to get lucky. At this stage we were together slowly making our way outside of the bar. One girl asked her, "Oh is this your other half". For some reason I joked that she was my sister. She took a while to realise that this girl actually believed it, and then joked "oh, no we're not brother and sister". Someone then made a suggestion that the crowd go to another bar as that one was closing. She suggested that I should go too. I looked a bit undecided for a few seconds, and then said to myself that I had to draw the line there, as I originally gave the impression that I had to go. "I've got to head" I said. She looked a bit disappointed, and made a compromise that we could drive to the next bar as it was pretty far away, and was on route to her place anyway. I, of course agreed.

Anyway, when we were finished at the that bar and when I was dropping her home, I ironically didn't really feel like kissing her. I've seen her looking better and dressed better than on that night. But I knew in the greater scheme of things, that I should try and kiss her. The chemistry didn't seem quite good enough. Although the banter was good, and there was some flirting, there simply wasn't enough touching. I could see the fearful look in her eye as she knew that thought I might try for more than a kiss on the cheek. It was a bit mechanical, the way I went in. She then blocked her eyes with her palms and bent her head to her knees in shock, as if this was completely unexpected. This looked quite childish. I'd honestly prefer if she'd given out to me, as that might have at least given me something to work with! I felt like giving out to her for acting in like this. I just said "oh come on now.." She paused and said "I'm sorry, I'm just very shy". For some reason I then said "me too" as I had my hand on her back, hoping to go in again. She said "look, just let me think about it, okay? Maybe next time". As she was then getting out of the car, I tried to be sexy by saying "are you telling me that you haven't thought about it before!" She didn't look comfortable with this question, and didn't know how to react. She then said good night and to 'be sure to drive safely', I guess in case I was distracted at what had just happened.

What annoyed me about it was that she insisted that we go together, and should therefore have known what she was getting herself into. On hindsight, I suppose I should have waited to access the moment as soon as the car was stopped. I just had it in my head that I should try and kiss her. I don't think playing the "it's now or never card" would have worked. I guess you're never 100% sure of what someone thinks of you, and when she blocked her face like that, it was as if... well you know, like I was some sort of a freak. Neither of us contacted each other since, as I thought I'd only feel like a fool if I chased after her more and still got nothing. The next time we bumped into each other about a month later, she asked "are we fighting?" I just said "oh no no", as I had moved on since the moment I dropped her home that night, and we are on talking terms for the rare occasions we cross paths, and she's as extroverted as ever. But thinking about her now, the way she was dressed when I first met her, I could well try it again with her if an opportunity presented itself. I pretty sure she wasn't trying to tease me, and more so that she's just a fun person. And don't get me wrong, I'm not that mad about her or anything, just think I could learn something from it.

So thanks for reading, and if you've any tips about how to kiss a girl in a car, you with the seat belt being on and all that, should you turn off the engine, etc, then please let me know!
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
A few months later a friend of mine, who I didn't realise knew both of us, gave my number to her, and we texted a bit. We were therefore pretty much aware that we'd both be at the next open mic. My friend said that her words about me were "that guy, oh he's such a nice man, tell him I said hi"
>>>> She likes you

At the open mic, I went over to say hello to her after her songs. She gestured for me to kiss her on the cheek, and later her friend cracked a joke about us getting married. Shortly after, she insisted we dance. But throughout all this she was a bit too energetic.
>>>> She likes you and she is anxious. Which is good because she is excited, she just needs to get the energy out somehow

In one way this energy is just what I need when I go out, but it's not ideal when I'm trying to make advances on her. She asked if I would bring her home, and I said 'I guess it wouldn't hurt'.
>>>> Not bad, she is thinking about you and her being alone together, asking you what you think about "bringing her home". Which basically means she is thinking about being more intimate with you

But later when I needed to leave, she was taking forever talking to people.
>>>> Yes, she is very anxious, can't decide. She wants more but at the same time is afraid

I didn't want to look like an idiot waiting around for her, but then again I couldn't afford to just throw away opportunities like this??I waited a bit as I could see she was no where near ready, and I just chatted to a few folks. I then said something to her like, "I'm leaving now, if you want a lift".
>>>> Good job

She then said "hang on, I must say goodbye to....", giving the impression it would take a minute.
>>>> Good, she is still thinking about it, but is too anxious, needs more time

I over-heard someone around making a few comments that I was going to get lucky.
>>>> Hehe, some smart ass knows exactly what she wants

At this stage we were together slowly making our way outside of the bar. One girl asked her, "Oh is this your other half". For some reason I joked that she was my sister. She took a while to realise that this girl actually believed it, and then joked "oh, no we're not brother and sister".
>>>> Yes, she is making it clear that your are not her brother, and not a friend either

Someone then made a suggestion that the crowd go to another bar as that one was closing. She suggested that I should go too. I looked a bit undecided for a few seconds, and then said to myself that I had to draw the line there, as I originally gave the impression that I had to go. "I've got to head" I said. She looked a bit disappointed, and made a compromise that we could drive to the next bar as it was pretty far away, and was on route to her place anyway. I, of course agreed.
>>>> Yea, this was probably the moment when you should have insisted on going to the place instead of to the other bar. She is still thinking about it but is unsure, she is kind of expecting a stronger lead

Anyway, when we were finished at the that bar and when I was dropping her home, I ironically didn't really feel like kissing her.
>>>> You took too much time at that bar, you got tired, vibes are gone

I've seen her looking better and dressed better than on that night. But I knew in the greater scheme of things, that I should try and kiss her. The chemistry didn't seem quite good enough. Although the banter was good, and there was some flirting, there simply wasn't enough touching.
>>>> There you go, touching is the key

I could see the fearful look in her eye as she knew that thought I might try for more than a kiss on the cheek.
>>>> Yes, she wants more but at the same time is afraid of it

It was a bit mechanical, the way I went in. She then blocked her eyes with her palms and bent her head to her knees in shock, as if this was completely unexpected. This looked quite childish.
>>>> Not sure what to think, but she is IMO too anxious because she knows that it could happen

I'd honestly prefer if she'd given out to me, as that might have at least given me something to work with! I felt like giving out to her for acting in like this. I just said "oh come on now.." She paused and said "I'm sorry, I'm just very shy".
>>>> Yes, that would explain it, she is shy. She likes you, she is shy and that makes her too anxious. She wants to postpone things to decrease the anxiety

For some reason I then said "me too" as I had my hand on her back, hoping to go in again. She said "look, just let me think about it, okay? Maybe next time".
>>>> The same, she's looking for more time to decrease the anxiety

As she was then getting out of the car, I tried to be sexy by saying "are you telling me that you haven't thought about it before!" She didn't look comfortable with this question, and didn't know how to react. She then said good night and to 'be sure to drive safely', I guess in case I was distracted at what had just happened.
>>>> Yes, she is uncomfortable because of being shy/anxious. But she didn't get upset about your remark, wishing you to drive safely. She doesn't want to lose you and is hoping that you don't get upset either

What annoyed me about it was that she insisted that we go together, and should therefore have known what she was getting herself into.
>>>> Don't get upset and don't get annoyed. That is a big NO, remain positive, open, act as if nothing happen.

On hindsight, I suppose I should have waited to access the moment as soon as the car was stopped. I just had it in my head that I should try and kiss her.
>>>> IMO you could have touch more and try to kiss before you got her to the car

I don't think playing the "it's now or never card" would have worked.
>>>> I agree, most likely she would go to auto-rejetion. More patience is needed for this girl

I guess you're never 100% sure of what someone thinks of you, and when she blocked her face like that, it was as if... well you know, like I was some sort of a freak.
>>>> IMO it wasn't about you, it was about her anxiety. You did a great job, you went for it regardless what she thinks. That is what man does, and she respects that regardless whether she wanted more or not. You showed her balls, you showed her that you want her, and you should never be sorry for that. That itself might turn things around in the future, because now she can be sure about what you want. Great job!

Neither of us contacted each other since, as I thought I'd only feel like a fool if I chased after her more and still got nothing. The next time we bumped into each other about a month later, she asked "are we fighting?" I just said "oh no no", as I had moved on since the moment I dropped her home that night, and we are on talking terms for the rare occasions we cross paths, and she's as extroverted as ever.
>>>> Giving the situation as described above, I would invite her out at that moment. You are not chasing, you just happen to run into her, and she is still asking if there is anything negative between you too (are we fighting?). Most likely she perceives you as high value man since you were not chasing her, but if you don't try to move things forward with her she may think you are not interested

But thinking about her now, the way she was dressed when I first met her, I could well try it again with her if an opportunity presented itself. I pretty sure she wasn't trying to tease me, and more so that she's just a fun person. And don't get me wrong, I'm not that mad about her or anything, just think I could learn something from it.

>>>> IMO you did quite good, and I think she is still interested. You need more patience, try to be more calm and more leading. She (in general most girls) can't do it, they won't jump into your bed especially if they don't have much experience, they expect you to lead them. As far as kissing, I think it is just better and easier if you are not in the car...

Second thought: Maybe she was just surprised a little that you'd want more, and she didn't expect that as she wasn't sure about you. But IMO you set up a decent frame, she perceives you as a man who wants to move things forward but at the same time who is not needy/clingy. That is good. I would keep that frame, and try to get a date with her and then push forward. Keep it simple - You know that if she'll go for a date she is interested...
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

ILoveElla

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 11, 2014
Messages
64
Thanks drck,that was a far more informative answer than I could have asked for.

The time she asked me if we were fighting, I guess I had subconsciously put that issue to bed. And generally speaking, I am not quick at "changing tracks". I wouldn't have been afraid to ask her, or embarrassed if she said no, just might have thought there was a curse on me if she said no a 2nd time. Just a bit puzzled as to how she was so anxious if she's like 26(I think)!
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
Yea, thats the thing... She may say no once or twice, and the guy gives up... But sometimes, if he keeps asking and asking regardless her saying NO, she might change her mind just because he is persistant and he shows that he really likes her (while at the same time he is not chasing)....
 

PinotNoir

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
747
Spontaneous kiss FTW.

A long ago FR I had (many centuries ago... well last year), I was alone with this girl, and she put her hand in front her mouth. I kissed her on the hand. I kept trying to do the romantic kiss over and over with her, and she kept blocking it with her hand or turning her head.

Then I remembered the spontaneous kiss.

I started talking to her about some random subject. Just getting kind of close to her. Then while she was answering whatever question I was asking, I kissed her real quick on the lips before she could do anything. Then I pulled my head back and just stared into her eyes.

She said, "I can't believe you did that!"
Then I said, "I can't believe I didn't do it sooner."

Then I went in for the romantic kiss, and she didn't give me any resistance and enjoyed it. She told me a few days later that she was hoping that I'd kiss her, but was worried that it would lead to sex so that is why she kept resisting (we didn't have sex unfortunately :( ) and that she loved my lips.

Like Drck said, persisting is your friend, especially if she never says "no" directly -- which didn't happen in your summary here or in mine.

"I'm sorry, I'm just very shy"
"look, just let me think about it, okay? Maybe next time"

I don't read "no" here. Do you? Maybe I need to get my eyes examined.

Grab her and pull her in for the manhandle kiss, or when in doubt....
The spontaneous kiss FTW!
 
Top