EXPRESSING ANGER

[Jan]

Here, I express opinion that it's beneficial for you to express anger, both from seduction point of view and most importantly from general wellbeing point of view.

WHY IS EXPRESSING ANGER GOOD?

Firstly, it's your inner emotional compass. In psychological circle, anger is described as an emotion which arises when someone (or yourself for that matter) crosses some of your inner border. In simple terms, when someone treats you bad.

ANGER AS A FEEDBACK MECHANISM

If you feel anger and you don't express it (suppress it and keep it for yourself), you are not communicating to the other person that he or she is crossing some of your important border. In other words, someone is hurting you and you are not telling him/him with sufficient emotional force/conviction what is really happenning.

If you don't express the reality of your inner life, you can't expect that this other person will know what is really happening. And you cant exprect that you will correct the course. He/she doesn't even know what is really happening.

Not expressing anger is also bad for your self confidence. Why? Because you cannot trust yourself if you doubt your emotions. Emotions are very important part of human beings. Probably, as or even more important than your rational part. Just look at women. They interpret and make decisions based on emotions. They survive and thrive in this world by trusting and expressing their emotions. They are physically and often intellectually inferior, and they still do great, just by trusting their emotions. Then, wtf are you not? Can you imagine what will happen to your life if you combine your physical, intellectual and emotional powers?

It's also possible that your INNER BORDERS are somehow unrealistic, wrong, or whatever. If you express your anger (and invite other people to honest discussion) and learn that you are really overreacting, and should rethink your borders. It's great. You've learned something important about yourself. HOWEVER, YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO LEARN THIS IF YOU DON'T ACTUALLY EXPRESS IT.

WHY DOES ANGER HAVE SUCH BAD REP?

I would argue its the same reason why majority of men believe being a nice guy is the prime strategy for mating. Current mainstream culture (combination of idiotic christian and leftist idealogies). Anger is usually depicted and ingrained in our minds through rage expressions, extreme form of anger when someone is crushing computer screens or beating people, supposedly for no reason.

Have you ever thought these rage attacks could be caused by NOT EXPRESSING milder forms of anger in the first place? Maybe, if the same person EXPRESSED AND RELEASED his frustration and anger in its milder form, maybe it wouldn't have been accumulated INSIDE. It can be accumulated and controlled to certain degree. After that it becomes uncontrollable TO ANYONE.

ANGER IN SEDUCTIONS

I have read several times that being angry will not win you anything in seduction. Don't argue with her they say. Don't try to convince. Just swallow her rejections, keep the poise and keep persevering.

I believe that the opposite is true. Even if getting angry with a particular woman may or may not win her over, this is not the point (I actually believe it can win her over, but let's keep it open for the sake of argument).

Not expressing anger is COMMUNICATING LOW SELF-TRUST. You are not trusting and expressing your emotions. And low self-trust means LOW SELF-CONFIDENCE.

Expressing anger is showing high self-trust, and high self-confidence. Therefore, its arousing for her. ITS EMOTIONALLY AND SEXUALLY AROUSING.

Also, you are being VULNERABLE. You are EMOTIONALLY STIMULATING. You are POLARIZING. So many attractive traits.

Please feel free to comment.

One Angry Man

 

[Will_V]

You've got some good points, but as always calibration is very important.

Anger in itself is not a negative emotion, as long as it is fuelling something actual. It is inherently unstable though and difficult to control, and can easily become something bitter and negative if it is left to become stale. But it is possible to be angry and have very high self-esteem, and even to be happy - what I like to call 'righteous anger' can definitely be powerful.

Emotions in general are very fluid, and turn from one thing into another according to which funnel you present to it to run out of. For example I read in a Scientific American one time how determination is 'repurposed fear' - that is, they both originate in exactly the same way, but along the path out into the physical expression, the primitive emotion (in some people) is repurposed into something more useful. You will experience that under pressure emotions can transform quite quickly.

The thing with anger, like other ostensibly negative emotions such as sadness, is that they are most powerful and most alluring when they are deeper within the psyche and express themselves as 'bass notes' that underpin everything else and give them a foundation. But anger that is front and center in a person's self expression is merely chaotic and unpleasant, and will not be possible to sustain unless it finds a quick and satisfying effect, which is not usually possible or desirable.

It is also easy to confuse anger with bitterness and anxiety, both of which are almost completely negative in a social sense, and which anger usually comes mixed with, and which anger can also quickly turn into. That's why it's risky to carry a lot of it with you.

The way I see it, anger is for when you are at the gym, or working on yourself in some way - those times when you need raw fuel and you don't need the world to love you, and then you will find that it morphs into something more subtle and with more longevity, but still powerful, as you enjoy the satisfaction of your effect upon yourself and your circumstances.