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- Jun 10, 2025
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That's is a valid excuse if you ask me. I mean the odds just ain't be as good.
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- Jan 24, 2021
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- 2,165
I think topcat nailed it, confidence is always the issue.
I remember one time when it really struck me, I'd just gotten a haircut and some new clothes (nothing crazy) and I felt like a million dollars, walking around getting IOIs and whatnot. Fastforward a few days, same haircut, same clothes, confidence back to normal, reactions back to normal, the magic had rubbed off entirely.
There have also been days where I dressed exceptionally well and reactions were shit, because I felt shit.
It's one of the quirks of the human mind that we have a tendency to rationalize everything in terms of what we want to believe, what's easier to handle mentally.
But people tend to judge others very fast, usually not on the basis of anything superficial. And the rationalization for a negative judgement is usually a backward one as well.
I remember one time when it really struck me, I'd just gotten a haircut and some new clothes (nothing crazy) and I felt like a million dollars, walking around getting IOIs and whatnot. Fastforward a few days, same haircut, same clothes, confidence back to normal, reactions back to normal, the magic had rubbed off entirely.
There have also been days where I dressed exceptionally well and reactions were shit, because I felt shit.
It's one of the quirks of the human mind that we have a tendency to rationalize everything in terms of what we want to believe, what's easier to handle mentally.
But people tend to judge others very fast, usually not on the basis of anything superficial. And the rationalization for a negative judgement is usually a backward one as well.
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- Jan 30, 2025
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- 288
I ALWAYS feel confident whenever I go out. Because the outfit I picked was the one I felt was optimal to go out in (I refuse to go out if this is not the case because then it’s a waste of time). If it doesn’t get me the reactions I am looking for then that means I have to tweak my fit (jeans, haircut, cologne, shirt, jewelry etc). Not become even more confident. I tweak my outfit then assess reactions. Lately I have found the right outfit. And results have followed. So back to the point of the OP. If you notice more often than not, that you get better reactions when you don’t wear glasses than when you do, then obviously not wearing glasses is optimal. And vice versa.
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- Jan 24, 2021
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This just proves my point, your confidence isn't there without the outfit. Which is fair enough if it works for you, but I don't let anything have that much leverage over my confidence.
There's nothing wrong with having your style and enjoying yourself wearing it, whether it's clothes or glasses or whatever. But the reality is that if you think something makes you look crap, then it does, because you'll be walking around feeling like crap. She's not gonna know from the sullen look whether it's the glasses or your whole life that you'd like to toss in the trash. She just won't be 'feeling it' that day, and that's that.
I don't like the idea of something mucking with my mood like that, so I don't let it. And I've found that as long as I dress fairly well and my confidence is solid, my results don't show a clear difference based on what clothes I wear. Whereas if my confidence is crap, the results will always be terrible.
Anyway, I guess my point is, everyone should wear what makes them feel good. But the more you rely on something external, the more unreliable your confidence will be, perhaps right when you need it the most. I like to think that all my physical and psychological force is always with me, no matter what I have on.
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- Jun 8, 2025
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- 3
I found a combo that works great for me, RisingCane: contact lenses + stylish glasses (slender frame, short lenses) that don't correct eyesight but work as an accessory (and blue light screen protection). I can put them on or take them off to suit my mood and the place. To me it boosts rather than saps my confidence since I'm not signaling a weakness (poor eyesight) but a strength (good style) with this combo. It feels good to me to know that if a girl asks about my glasses, I can just hand them to her to try out, and she'll see they're clear glass.
A side benefit is that wearing blue light protective glasses when working at the computer made quite a difference to my ability to stay focused for long hours; quite a bit lower eyestrain now.
I enjoyed reading Topcat's and Will_V's answers to this thread. "It's always the confidence" - amazing realization, as is the recognition that looking for external boosters to that confidence may well not increase its baseline in the long term.
This sparks a question for me: What sources of deep, lasting confidence would you recommend for a beginner like me to focus on cultivating first? What are your own sources of internal, enduring confidence (if you're comfortable sharing)?
I hope this may help fix the discomfort with contact lenses:
1) How to: For me too, it was a hassle learning to put them on and off in the beginning, and I wanted to give up several times. But I'm glad I didn't! I just kept at it and now it's effortless, a couple seconds each and they're on or off, since I know the angle, the pressure, and the motion to apply to do so. (I slide them from the outside to the inside of the eye, keeping the eye in a fixed position as I do.) One thing I look out for is to make sure they're the right side to wear: When you keep them on your finger what shape do they most resemble? a) A cut sphere? Good to put on! Or b) A subtly outward-curved funnel? They're backwards then!
2) What to: I use Acuvue Oasis (Hydraclear plus) contact lenses - they are available in the U.S. as well. Softer than most, with a visible blue tint that makes it easier to see if they're the right side up and helps block some UV light; so comfortable I can even sleep with them. It says a pair is good for one week, but I found I can wear them for two weeks to a month with no issue, have done so for years. They may fall off if you shower with them, though. It's possible you need a different size for your eyes too - 8.4 is best for 98%+ of people, but my former wife wears 8.8 (wide artist's eyes). An optometrist could check which size you need, but you can save that cost by just trying the 8.4 first to see if they're comfy for you (as is likely), if not try the 8.8 as well.
A side benefit is that wearing blue light protective glasses when working at the computer made quite a difference to my ability to stay focused for long hours; quite a bit lower eyestrain now.
I enjoyed reading Topcat's and Will_V's answers to this thread. "It's always the confidence" - amazing realization, as is the recognition that looking for external boosters to that confidence may well not increase its baseline in the long term.
This sparks a question for me: What sources of deep, lasting confidence would you recommend for a beginner like me to focus on cultivating first? What are your own sources of internal, enduring confidence (if you're comfortable sharing)?
I hope this may help fix the discomfort with contact lenses:
1) How to: For me too, it was a hassle learning to put them on and off in the beginning, and I wanted to give up several times. But I'm glad I didn't! I just kept at it and now it's effortless, a couple seconds each and they're on or off, since I know the angle, the pressure, and the motion to apply to do so. (I slide them from the outside to the inside of the eye, keeping the eye in a fixed position as I do.) One thing I look out for is to make sure they're the right side to wear: When you keep them on your finger what shape do they most resemble? a) A cut sphere? Good to put on! Or b) A subtly outward-curved funnel? They're backwards then!
2) What to: I use Acuvue Oasis (Hydraclear plus) contact lenses - they are available in the U.S. as well. Softer than most, with a visible blue tint that makes it easier to see if they're the right side up and helps block some UV light; so comfortable I can even sleep with them. It says a pair is good for one week, but I found I can wear them for two weeks to a month with no issue, have done so for years. They may fall off if you shower with them, though. It's possible you need a different size for your eyes too - 8.4 is best for 98%+ of people, but my former wife wears 8.8 (wide artist's eyes). An optometrist could check which size you need, but you can save that cost by just trying the 8.4 first to see if they're comfy for you (as is likely), if not try the 8.8 as well.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2025
- Messages
- 288
It’s not that I think. It’s a real time thing I can notice. They are either there or they are not (good reactions). Which are a good indicator that you can approach any girl that strikes your fancy and have a very strong % of laying that girl. Lack of good reactions are not something that are imagined. You notice it.
For certain reasons ... which thanks to certain articles by Chase it's dawning upon me why I am how I am ... I've been living my life mostly on the "reactions" than the "results" plane of the following article.
www.girlschase.com
Due to overmuch experience with the "reactions" part I can say the following:
What I wear and whether I hide my bald(ing) head and whether I'm wearing glasses or contact lenses doesn't influence the reactions I get from women.
How I walk and how I stand and my confidence wearing whichever outfit does influence the reactions I get.
A large part of the aforementioned I only recently realized: I walk (and stand) differently depending on what I'm wearing for physiological reasons!
My body language and walk is looser when I'm wearing light jackets and t-shirts than when I'm wearing leather coats/jackets and shirts. The same goes for boots vs sneakers.
I feel MUCH more confident wearing looser jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt. I thought it was the look. Then I wore my stiffer outfit and felt worse. Then I saw my reflection in some windows and thought..."my stiff outfit looks great". My confidence was actually the same...
BUT! I didn't feel as good in my body.
I can say for certain that irrespective of my outfit, when I feel good in my body and have an open expression in my face, I get similar reactions. Always. Even when I wear sweatpants, lousy sneakers, a monochromatic t-shirt and a non-fancy jacket (+having a beard too long and my balding head untrimmed).
Maybe this is because I "DGAF" and feel great in my body and am confident and happy and open in my body language?
Don't get me wrong, I know that social frame is influenced by one's outfit by the token Chase talks about here:
www.girlschase.com
Maybe a girl wouldn't want to be seen with me when I'm wearing the wrong things and/or look too unkempt.
But her body language doesn't lie.
Same for the height situation.
MAYBE a girl's social frame wouldn't allow for her boyfriend to be shorter than her (even though I don't really believe in this height thing being more than a so-called "limiting belief").
But if she is nonetheless attracted to him and he professionally ups her compliance he can be her secret lover.
Anyway I'm digressing.
Glasses: I'm 100% convinced of
the fact that while glasses might not make a guy more attractive, if he's taken care of all the relevant fundamentals to be within the social frame of the girls he likes, his wearing glasses will simply up his attainability.
Anyway, my KJ/reactions-but-not-results session is over.
Much love!
Reactions from Women, or Results with Women?
I intended for this to be a shorter post, since I’ve put up a few long ones in a row and I didn’t get much sleep last night as I’m still rocking a jet lag (so much for my claims to not be affected by that… it’s good though, I’m waking up early in the morning and cranking on stuff I want to work...
www.girlschase.com
Due to overmuch experience with the "reactions" part I can say the following:
What I wear and whether I hide my bald(ing) head and whether I'm wearing glasses or contact lenses doesn't influence the reactions I get from women.
How I walk and how I stand and my confidence wearing whichever outfit does influence the reactions I get.
A large part of the aforementioned I only recently realized: I walk (and stand) differently depending on what I'm wearing for physiological reasons!
My body language and walk is looser when I'm wearing light jackets and t-shirts than when I'm wearing leather coats/jackets and shirts. The same goes for boots vs sneakers.
I feel MUCH more confident wearing looser jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt. I thought it was the look. Then I wore my stiffer outfit and felt worse. Then I saw my reflection in some windows and thought..."my stiff outfit looks great". My confidence was actually the same...
BUT! I didn't feel as good in my body.
I can say for certain that irrespective of my outfit, when I feel good in my body and have an open expression in my face, I get similar reactions. Always. Even when I wear sweatpants, lousy sneakers, a monochromatic t-shirt and a non-fancy jacket (+having a beard too long and my balding head untrimmed).
Maybe this is because I "DGAF" and feel great in my body and am confident and happy and open in my body language?
Don't get me wrong, I know that social frame is influenced by one's outfit by the token Chase talks about here:
How to Take Care of a Girl's Appearance on Approaches & Dates
Women care about their appearances more than most men realize. Yet once you know it, you can run better dates and approaches. Contents 1. Male vs. Female Concerns Women: Appearance is Sticky 2. Look Good vs. Don’t Look Bad Make Her Look Good Don’t Make Her Look Bad Do Things in Private 3. Girls...
www.girlschase.com
Maybe a girl wouldn't want to be seen with me when I'm wearing the wrong things and/or look too unkempt.
But her body language doesn't lie.
Same for the height situation.
MAYBE a girl's social frame wouldn't allow for her boyfriend to be shorter than her (even though I don't really believe in this height thing being more than a so-called "limiting belief").
But if she is nonetheless attracted to him and he professionally ups her compliance he can be her secret lover.
Anyway I'm digressing.
Glasses: I'm 100% convinced of
the fact that while glasses might not make a guy more attractive, if he's taken care of all the relevant fundamentals to be within the social frame of the girls he likes, his wearing glasses will simply up his attainability.
Anyway, my KJ/reactions-but-not-results session is over.
Much love!
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2019
- Messages
- 5,561
oh boy! people talking pass each other and all over the place, again:
pick up is a numbers game and skill set (attractive behaviors vs cringy ones)
-in the numbers game part a bigger portion of the women will not be polarized with glasses.
- i know guys with glasses that get laid and there are many guys in the forum that get laid.... For greater pool maybe no glasses on the numbers part.
- the op is talking maybe about the hipster glasses in style, i saw the best dress guy i ever seen in baggy yesterday had the gen z popular glasses (i don't even know if he actually need glasses or it was to use for the style), but the dude is the best dress baggy dude i seen in person, actually had also the spike jean chain he was recommending...
- i went up to him like a fag to ask where he got the jeans, but he had cropped tshirt, right hair style, jewelry, jean y2k chain (in style), perfect fit, patch work tats etc...
^ i also saw a girl coming up to him, yesterday all this happen....
^ that does not make me change my take, but the most important is FIELD TESTING...
if a dude has glasses and is doing great with women, then there is nothing to change why get uncomfortable getting lazik and doing contacts...
If i have in the forum a guy or a guy i am coaching and he ask me glasses or not glasses, i will say you probably get higher odds with no glasses, when playing the numbers game part of the game, i don't care online or offline or day game or whatever....
Again, just go field test maybe you will do good with glasses, maybe you will do better without but go field test, if i have to coach or recommend a newer guy i probably make a bet he will do better no glasses cause higher numbers of women will not be polirized (the minority that does not like glasses, but again with gen z glasses trending, is ones that look a bit retro)...
the theoretical pua nerd reason is glasses are sign of aging biologically, but again glasses could be specially with gen z a style accessories, but guys in the industry can't get even jeans or shirt, or hair cut or _________________right what are the odds they will pick the right style of glasses....
jesus is just water is wet shit, and here we go again in circles (what is going on lately??)
please listen to 0:30 - 1;18
p.s. @topcat dude i told you years ago, you are good, and when you tried cold approach for 2 second you killed it, again, as i told you, do not do shit, for other guys in the internet do you, trust me on this....
pick up is a numbers game and skill set (attractive behaviors vs cringy ones)
-in the numbers game part a bigger portion of the women will not be polarized with glasses.
- i know guys with glasses that get laid and there are many guys in the forum that get laid.... For greater pool maybe no glasses on the numbers part.
- the op is talking maybe about the hipster glasses in style, i saw the best dress guy i ever seen in baggy yesterday had the gen z popular glasses (i don't even know if he actually need glasses or it was to use for the style), but the dude is the best dress baggy dude i seen in person, actually had also the spike jean chain he was recommending...
- i went up to him like a fag to ask where he got the jeans, but he had cropped tshirt, right hair style, jewelry, jean y2k chain (in style), perfect fit, patch work tats etc...
^ i also saw a girl coming up to him, yesterday all this happen....
^ that does not make me change my take, but the most important is FIELD TESTING...
if a dude has glasses and is doing great with women, then there is nothing to change why get uncomfortable getting lazik and doing contacts...
If i have in the forum a guy or a guy i am coaching and he ask me glasses or not glasses, i will say you probably get higher odds with no glasses, when playing the numbers game part of the game, i don't care online or offline or day game or whatever....
Again, just go field test maybe you will do good with glasses, maybe you will do better without but go field test, if i have to coach or recommend a newer guy i probably make a bet he will do better no glasses cause higher numbers of women will not be polirized (the minority that does not like glasses, but again with gen z glasses trending, is ones that look a bit retro)...
the theoretical pua nerd reason is glasses are sign of aging biologically, but again glasses could be specially with gen z a style accessories, but guys in the industry can't get even jeans or shirt, or hair cut or _________________right what are the odds they will pick the right style of glasses....
jesus is just water is wet shit, and here we go again in circles (what is going on lately??)
please listen to 0:30 - 1;18
p.s. @topcat dude i told you years ago, you are good, and when you tried cold approach for 2 second you killed it, again, as i told you, do not do shit, for other guys in the internet do you, trust me on this....
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2019
- Messages
- 5,561
I have this issue with my style of getting numbers when I get their phone trying to text myself can't see..