feeling intense about seduction

[SteelbookCollector]

Senselessly mean




Senseless, what do you mean?

well i hardly ever hear of women having a mentor or mentors, its male dominated it seems

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

i need to express myself. i am feeling right now

one thing i noticed is that my anxiety is tied to seduction

in a day, if i dont take any steps to... get better in my marathon, then i feel anxious until i do. and when i do, i get IMMEDIATE relief. ahhhhhh. so comforting. its leading to some really intense obsession...which is not uncommon for me. but still. the passion i have right now is higher than usual

i value this because it helps my drive for mastery

one downside is it can lead to be being off-balanced, which is something i have typically struggled with in these phases and only hurts me

ahhhhhhh, felt good to let you guys know about this, the only people to talk to about it who would understand

This may be a schema,

a schema is a value system you hold that allows the subconscious to create certain kinds of thoughts that are directly oriented with the schema

An example of a schema is a statement like: “all people need to like me or else I am worthless”

a person with this schema will get really distressed when they are rejected or disliked and will likely get thoughts like: “I’m no good”

see how the thought and feeling caused in this situation are heavily predetermined by the underlying belief: “all people need to like me or else I am worthless”

but this belief can also be a positive belief

let’s say you get voted as class president while you have this schema, you will feel euphoric when everyone likes you and will think thoughts like “wow I really am awesome”, get feeling or confidence etc.

I get the sense your schema has to do with perfection

only you can figure out the exact statement it is, remember these schemas are hidden yet our evidence of them is how we interact with certain events which point towards our value system

In CBT, these beliefs are called “self defeating beliefs” because they can have negative effects when we don’t live up to them, but I don’t label them so negatively because they can also bring a lot of success or happiness.

Look how far your quest for perfection aka mastery has gotten you!

you obviously have benefited from this belief, but it can also cause a lot of distress

that’s why I suggest finding a way to modify the belief where you get all of the good but lose all of the bad

in CBT, this is called the semantic technique, you edit the semantics of your schema so you can be happy even when things don’t work out

I myself am suffering from perfectionism so that’s why I pointed it out, as your belief system looks similar to mine, but it is always open to interpretation I could be wrong I am just offering my perspective

once you have edited your belief, you now have to test it to see if it works for you

an example would be:

changing: “I must be perfect” to “I want to always get better and making mistakes along the journey is how I continue to get better”

you could test this belief by seeing if mistakes you make end up leading into wins in the long run because you learned from them and growth occurred

or comparing how you feel when you are doing something just for fun to when you are doing something to compete and seeing if there is any difference in pleasure between these different types of activities. You would rate enjoyment on a scale of 1-10.

these are experiment techniques where you test your beliefs and try to find the truth behind them

not every technique to change your schema is going to work, there are tons of techniques at

Cognitive tools here

changing beliefs is very hard, I am currently trying to change some of my own schemas

it takes time so have patience with yourself

or you may want to keep your schema, if you believe it serves you well then I see no problem in doing nothing to change it

 

[Spyce D]

@fog I am facing something similar .

I was anxious a lot since some time .

And everytime I would go out and game , I would not feel anxiety .

But when I would spend days without game , a weird anxiety would be there.

It seems like I am a game addict and this anxiety is withdrawals lol.

 

[DarkKnight]

It seems like I am a game addict and this anxiety is withdrawals lol.

Fear of missing out and also realizing the possibilities compared to average guy who doesnt understand that he can do cold approach and get away with it. I have exacyly the same

Honestly sometimes it is a bit burdensome. I am out way too much instead of chilling and doing the nerdy hobbies I love

 

[gameboy]

I'm feeling the same!

I've been pushing myself for 2 months now to approach every day. Whenever I take a day off or go out but don't manage to approach for whatever reason, I regret it in the evening.

 

[DarkKnight]

You know.. honestly pickup also TAKES a lot from you. It makes you life better, but it is deprimental for work and I want to lean more into work now as well. Chase had an article about this, that there is a tradeoff between work and pickup.

Or make pickup your job I guess. Best of both worlds.