- Joined
- Jan 28, 2019
- Messages
- 12
Hey everyone,
Have a situation with a girl I've been dating for about a year and a half. So we basically started out as friends with benefits and all was going well. I was doing my thing but as feeling grew I tried to screen her past. I have been very hurt in the past and have insecurities about girls' pasts now so I try to be careful with it. Long story short this girl portrayed herself as not having being promiscuous in the past and being so innocent and all; was convinced about that because she really wasn't very good at sex at first and seemed so inexperienced; so I thought she's a good catch for me. As soon as she pushed for a relationship which I accepted, she told me about her past and it's nowhere near what she portrayed (gave me a number twice as high as originally) and can't help feeling having being played. I've always been 100% honest with her which is my philosophy. In her past she admitted doing something that strongly contradicts my views on relationships and the values around it (ie having knowingly dated and slept with a married person) This event was quite some time ago (reads years) and she says she has changed...I cannot get this out of my head as it just feels like i've been trapped and I'm strongly reconsidering the relationship. Like had she told me nothing I would have been better off than just saying something that has misled me. I also feel like a idiot because we had a heated conversation and now we both feel like crap...i had put so much hope in this girl and when I managed expectations all the way she basically was just self-serving ("by fear of losing me").
Now, I bear some responsibility in this as my screening probably wasn't on point. But i'm truly lost in this situation. I do have strong feelings to which I have admitted. But for me there is a strong distinction vs girls I want a relationship with (which she APPEARED to be) and girls I would never think about making a girlfriend (how she REALLY is).
Please, I need advice on how I can make my decision right. Thank you very much for your help.
All the best
Have a situation with a girl I've been dating for about a year and a half. So we basically started out as friends with benefits and all was going well. I was doing my thing but as feeling grew I tried to screen her past. I have been very hurt in the past and have insecurities about girls' pasts now so I try to be careful with it. Long story short this girl portrayed herself as not having being promiscuous in the past and being so innocent and all; was convinced about that because she really wasn't very good at sex at first and seemed so inexperienced; so I thought she's a good catch for me. As soon as she pushed for a relationship which I accepted, she told me about her past and it's nowhere near what she portrayed (gave me a number twice as high as originally) and can't help feeling having being played. I've always been 100% honest with her which is my philosophy. In her past she admitted doing something that strongly contradicts my views on relationships and the values around it (ie having knowingly dated and slept with a married person) This event was quite some time ago (reads years) and she says she has changed...I cannot get this out of my head as it just feels like i've been trapped and I'm strongly reconsidering the relationship. Like had she told me nothing I would have been better off than just saying something that has misled me. I also feel like a idiot because we had a heated conversation and now we both feel like crap...i had put so much hope in this girl and when I managed expectations all the way she basically was just self-serving ("by fear of losing me").
Now, I bear some responsibility in this as my screening probably wasn't on point. But i'm truly lost in this situation. I do have strong feelings to which I have admitted. But for me there is a strong distinction vs girls I want a relationship with (which she APPEARED to be) and girls I would never think about making a girlfriend (how she REALLY is).
Please, I need advice on how I can make my decision right. Thank you very much for your help.
All the best
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