Feminist advice? Or not? Who cares really.

[PalmaSailor]

Staff message: Parts of this thread (link) were moved here since it derailed from the original thread. Please stay on topic in the future.

Ignore the feminists in here telling you to “stop wasting her time”
You told her what’s up and she can take or leave it.
My guess, you’ve lost frame. That is you’ve complied with the things that “she says she likes / wants” as opposed to being your own man and that process turns her off.

 

[Vision]

Ignore the feminists in here telling you to “stop wasting her time”

You can just fuck right off with the "feminist" talk.

You should always leave someone better than you found them... man or woman.

And part of that is understanding people, in this case, women.

Is it her responsibility to make sure she believes what he says around what he wants? Sure...

Do guys tell women, all the time, that they don't want a relationship and then treat them like they're in a relationship, and then say, "but I told her I didn't want a relationship!"

Yes.

Is that misleading? Yes, it is.

Have I been guilty of it, yeah.

But if you know what a girl wants, you don't spend a bunch of time with her, treating her like a gf just because you told her one time that you're forever single.

If you don't also care about the girls you meet and making sure you're enhancing their lives, not destroying them. You shouldn't be dating at all... you should be working on yourself and making sure you're not such a giant pile of shit of a person.

 

[PalmaSailor]

You can just fuck right off with the "feminist" talk.

Truth hurts huh?

 

[PalmaSailor]

If you don't also care about the girls you meet and making sure you're enhancing their lives, not destroying them. You shouldn't be dating at all... you should be working on yourself and making sure you're not such a giant pile of shit of a person.

stick it. You have no right to tell others how to live their lives.

I have no obligation to anyone, and I have no obligation to “enhance” anyone’s life.

stop being a prick

 

[DarkKnight]

Truth hurts huh?

Dude you are instigating. Calm down or deserve your rightful ban. You attacked him by calling him a feminist and I had already reported you.

 

[PalmaSailor]

Dude you are instigating. Calm down or deserve your rightful ban. You attacked him by calling him a feminist and I had already reported you.

I’m pretty much past caring. Do what you want.

 

[Vision]

stick it. You have no right to tell others how to live their lives.

I have no obligation to anyone, and I have no obligation to “enhance” anyone’s life.

stop being a prick

I actually DO have the right to tell others how to live their lives... it's called freedom of speech... I literally have the right to say whatever I want to say.

There are consequences to everything said though, especially in a forum like this.

And if you want to call me names, don't be surprised when I confront you about it.

 

[PalmaSailor]

I actually DO have the right to tell others how to live their lives... it's called freedom of speech... I literally have the right to say whatever I want to say.

There are consequences to everything said though, especially in a forum like this.

And if you want to call me names, don't be surprised when I confront you about it.

You don’t. You have the right to say what you think.
But you don’t have the right to enforce your will on how others live.
But If you have freedom of speech to tell me how to live my life then I have that same freedom to tell you to poke it. So poke it.

 

[Vision]

Not sure what you're talking about with enforcing my will on how others live...?

But if you want me to enforce my will, all you need to do is ask.

 

[Baron]

"Wasting a girl's time" ... I think this comes down to two issues: your approach (direct vs indirect) and knowing what you want from a girl.

Your approach (direct vs indirect)
It's hard to discuss "wasting a girl's time" without getting into a direct vs indirect game debate. If you're looking for a fuck buddy then by using an indirect approach, you are more likely to mislead the girl. If you're lucky, her intentions will line up with yours and everything will work out, but if she sees you as a potential boyfriend and feels that you are "courting her", then they won't. If you're direct about your intentions from the get go, then you won't have this problem, although you might end up potentially "leaving some pussy on the table".

What it comes down to is personal ethics. If you feel the only way you can get in a particular girl's pants on a regular basis is by treating her like she's your exclusive girlfriend and you can sleep well at night and handle all the drama that might come with it, then go ahead and be an asshole. If misleading a girl makes you feel guilty, if lying to her makes you uncomfortable and you'd rather be authentic about your intentions, then you might be better off being straight with her from the start and accepting that you're just going to have to leave alone some women.

Knowing what you want
The other issue is knowing what you want. I might see a girl as a fuck buddy, only later to see her as a potential girlfriend and start treating her that way as a result, only to later decide that I just wanted her as a fuck buddy after all. This would cause me to end up "wasting her time", even if I was trying to be honest with her from the start. Unfortunately, this is something I'd have less control over.

 

[PalmaSailor]

Staff message: Parts of this thread (link) were moved here since it derailed from the original thread. Please stay on topic in the future.

Ignore the feminists in here telling you to “stop wasting her time”
You told her what’s up and she can take or leave it.
My guess, you’ve lost frame. That is you’ve complied with the things that “she says she likes / wants” as opposed to being your own man and that process turns her off.

I’ll tell you what - fuck off.
I’ll say what I’ve got to say

so stick it up your arse and delete my account.
You can all get on with it.

 

[DarkKnight]

I love this guy ^^^^

 

[Vision]

Knowing what you want
The other issue is knowing what you want. I might see a girl as a fuck buddy, only later to see her as a potential girlfriend and start treating her that way as a result, only to later decide that I just wanted her as a fuck buddy after all. This would cause me to end up "wasting her time", even if I was trying to be honest with her from the start. Unfortunately, this is something I'd have less control over.

I wouldn't say that's necessarily wasting her time though... unless her issues are obvious from the start, it takes time to figure out what's going on with a girl sometimes.

But if you know she wants something more... and she wants something more with YOU... and you're giving her breadcrumbs because you know you don't want anything more with her but that vag is so good that you don't want to stop banging it, it's really best to cut her loose and let her go find what she's looking for... and find another girl.

Obviously, everyone's morals are different.

Does she need to make sure she is taking care of herself and communicating with you so that there isn't any miscommunication? Absolutely.

But there are two parts to play with everything... your part and her part. There are fucked up women who will try to waste your time, if you let them. And there are guys who will waste a woman's time if she lets him.

I think having healthy morals is a good thing.

 

[Baron]

I wouldn't say that's necessarily wasting her time though

You're treating her like a girlfriend because you think you want her as a girlfriend and then you decide you don't. Assuming that she wanted to be your girlfriend, then she might feel in the end that you wasted her time. But yeah that's different to knowingly wasting her time as in the scenario you described.

There are fucked up women who will try to waste your time, if you let them. And there are guys who will waste a woman's time if she lets him.

True ... "if you let them" is the key phrase.

 

[Vision]

You're treating her like a girlfriend because you think you want her as a girlfriend and then you decide you don't. Assuming that she wanted to be your girlfriend, then she might feel in the end that you wasted her time. But yeah that's different to knowingly wasting her time as in the scenario you described.

Well and just because she feels like you wasted her time, doesn't mean you necessarily did.

There's a running joke out there that if you have a relationship with a woman and it ends, she'll tell everyone she wasted X amount of time with you (I wasted 3 years of my life with him).

Whereas a man will feel like it was X amount of time well spent.

That's obviously a broad generalization that often isn't true, especially in the modern day.

What is true is that women have biological clocks (assuming they're under 40) and they feel things differently than we do around relationships and whatnot because of how their body and biology works.

So her thinking you wasted her time isn't overly relevant. She can think whatever she wants to.

The point is to make sure you're aware of what you're doing so that you're not doing potentially fucked up things unknowingly.

If you're doing potentially fucked up things knowingly, well, that's between you and your ethics.

True ... "if you let them" is the key phrase.

Mode 1 is the answer!

 

[Baron]

There's a running joke out there that if you have a relationship with a woman and it ends, she'll tell everyone she wasted X amount of time with you (I wasted 3 years of my life with him).

Whereas a man will feel like it was X amount of time well spent.

Yep, and if a man spends X amount of time (and/or money) trying to get in a woman's pants and ends up with just his dick in his hand, he'll say he wasted X amount of time/money on her, whereas the woman will feel it was quality time (she was entertained, got fed, etc.)

Mode 1 is the answer!

You're god damn right it is!