first date, what should i do?

[gonzy]

hey guys i'm Tom, i recently gathered the strength to ask a girl i know for 3 years out and i have some problems..

well first of all i want to take her to somewhere that we can talk about her feelings towards me because she knows how i feel about her, i'm sure about it because our friends always throw hints in the air about us and talk about how we match together and it always creates this sort of a weird situation where we barely talk.. but she doesn't really take it seriously cus that's her personality shes not a very serious person. plus when i talked to her girlfriend which is a good friend of mine too she told me that when they talked about us she always said that she is afraid that it wont work because we are already good friends.
so i'm just gonna talk to her and find out how she feels and where we can go from here although i have no idea how to do it.

second problems i have is that i recently passed my driving test and i don't know how its done in other countries but in mine i have to wait 3 months until i can drive alone, and she passed a long time before me and can drive alone but it feels awkward to let her drive and pay for gas while i'm sitting next to her even though its a short drive to where i want to take her.. i thought about taking a cab together but it still feels weird with the driver and all and because we're both grown and not kids... so should i make that sacrifice and let her drive instead so we can be alone?

thanks a lot guys i hope it will work out..

 

[Mr. oblivious]

Gonzy/Tom you need to take a step back and relax

i recently gathered the strength to ask a girl i know for 3 years

I can tell probably a big thing 3 years worth of connections you don't want to fk up.

Just saying if you over think everything your probably more likely to fk up and get locked permanently in the friend zone.

well first of all i want to take her to somewhere that we can talk about her feelings towards me because she knows how i feel about her

What you talking about have your read the material on the website?

Take her somewhere simple and start deep diving talk about her child hood her aspirations etc.

From experience you don't want to sit her down and try force her to tell you her how she feels about you.

he always said that she is afraid that it wont work because we are already good friends.

This is why you need to show her a side of you see has not experience yet instead of probably the shy emotional guys she probably used to seeing (the guy who was planning on taking her to a special location so he could talk about her feeling) and show her the sexual confident dominant man which won't get shoved in the friend zone.

i'm just gonna talk to her and find out how she feels and where we can go from here although i have no idea how to do it

if i haven't stressed this enough in my previous comments don't do this you want to bed her at least once (minimum) probably more than once before you talk about emotions and stuff like that. Once you are in a sexual relationship with someone you will eventually reach a point where you will discuss where the relationship is going often the girl will bring it up herself (just let her do it, you said yourself you have no idea so don't worry about it)

second problems i have is that i recently passed my driving test and i don't know how its done in other countries but in mine i have to wait 3 months until i can drive alone, and she passed a long time before me and can drive alone but it feels awkward to let her drive and pay for gas while i'm sitting next to her even though its a short drive to where i want to take her.. i thought about taking a cab together but it still feels weird with the driver and all and because we're both grown and not kids... so should i make that sacrifice and let her drive instead so we can be alone?

As long as you still present yourself as dominant man should be fine probably split the petrol bill with her or something



Anyways the only reason i went to town on this reply is cause this sounds like me in a couple of situations before really reading up on GC content. And the your approach seem exactly like me who had the mental mind set of women are pure being and they want you to be all romantic etc blah blah blah

If you haven't told her where you going yet i say you revise your date plan and make it not anything exciting and make sure YOU HAVE YOUR LOGISTICS SET UP RIGHT" cause you definitely want to try get sexual with her.

Just an example have dinner at a place close to your or go to a park near your and have a few beverages and relax (just so you can make the quick move to your place for a move etc.) you want to build sexual tension on the date as well do make sure you start touching early get her comfortable with your feel. The best way to do this is when you initially pick her up grab her hand and guide her to the car give her a big warm hug something.

Anyways the key Point im trying to give you is

1. Relax

2. DON'T BOTHER DISCUSSING HOW SHE FEEL ABOUT YOU UNLESS SHE BRINGS IT UP '

3. Instead of discussing how she feels about you deep dive find out about her etc.

4.Show her a different side of you which is confident sexual and no the same person she see's when she always see you the person she thinks it

wont work out because we are already good friends

5. Get your logistics sorted

6. Get sexual (girls want it just as much as male)


Hope this is useful if you have any questions of i haven't explained anything well just comment below

Good luck and keep us updated

 

[gonzy]

Gonzy/Tom you need to take a step back and relax

i recently gathered the strength to ask a girl i know for 3 years

I can tell probably a big thing 3 years worth of connections you don't want to fk up.

Just saying if you over think everything your probably more likely to fk up and get locked permanently in the friend zone.

well first of all i want to take her to somewhere that we can talk about her feelings towards me because she knows how i feel about her

What you talking about have your read the material on the website?

Take her somewhere simple and start deep diving talk about her child hood her aspirations etc.

From experience you don't want to sit her down and try force her to tell you her how she feels about you.

he always said that she is afraid that it wont work because we are already good friends.

This is why you need to show her a side of you see has not experience yet instead of probably the shy emotional guys she probably used to seeing (the guy who was planning on taking her to a special location so he could talk about her feeling) and show her the sexual confident dominant man which won't get shoved in the friend zone.

i'm just gonna talk to her and find out how she feels and where we can go from here although i have no idea how to do it

if i haven't stressed this enough in my previous comments don't do this you want to bed her at least once (minimum) probably more than once before you talk about emotions and stuff like that. Once you are in a sexual relationship with someone you will eventually reach a point where you will discuss where the relationship is going often the girl will bring it up herself (just let her do it, you said yourself you have no idea so don't worry about it)

second problems i have is that i recently passed my driving test and i don't know how its done in other countries but in mine i have to wait 3 months until i can drive alone, and she passed a long time before me and can drive alone but it feels awkward to let her drive and pay for gas while i'm sitting next to her even though its a short drive to where i want to take her.. i thought about taking a cab together but it still feels weird with the driver and all and because we're both grown and not kids... so should i make that sacrifice and let her drive instead so we can be alone?

As long as you still present yourself as dominant man should be fine probably split the petrol bill with her or something



Anyways the only reason i went to town on this reply is cause this sounds like me in a couple of situations before really reading up on GC content. And the your approach seem exactly like me who had the mental mind set of women are pure being and they want you to be all romantic etc blah blah blah

If you haven't told her where you going yet i say you revise your date plan and make it not anything exciting and make sure YOU HAVE YOUR LOGISTICS SET UP RIGHT" cause you definitely want to try get sexual with her.

Just an example have dinner at a place close to your or go to a park near your and have a few beverages and relax (just so you can make the quick move to your place for a move etc.) you want to build sexual tension on the date as well do make sure you start touching early get her comfortable with your feel. The best way to do this is when you initially pick her up grab her hand and guide her to the car give her a big warm hug something.

Anyways the key Point im trying to give you is

1. Relax

2. DON'T BOTHER DISCUSSING HOW SHE FEEL ABOUT YOU UNLESS SHE BRINGS IT UP '

3. Instead of discussing how she feels about you deep dive find out about her etc.

4.Show her a different side of you which is confident sexual and no the same person she see's when she always see you the person she thinks it

wont work out because we are already good friends

5. Get your logistics sorted

6. Get sexual (girls want it just as much as male)


Hope this is useful if you have any questions of i haven't explained anything well just comment below

Good luck and keep us updated

thanks a lot mr. oblivious, but the unexpected happened and she texted me to go outside the neighborhood and talk.. we talked and she started with the thing that everyone are bothering her about us and are talking about us with her and that she knows everything, she tried not to hurt me but it didnt work i understood that she is not interested in me because she just wants us to remain friends and i just wrecked a 3 years friendship with her, i dont know what im gonna do next after we talked and i just cried to her..

 

[Mr. oblivious]

Ouch thats unfortunate.

Chin Up

I know it may be rough and hurt a little but with something like this its best to let it blow over or the method i use is just act as if nothing happened (kinda move on and act indifferent e.g. if i see her act like you would normally)


Use this as motivation to go out a meet more women so that you do not get stuck with going to girls in your social circle as well

 

[gonzy]

Ouch thats unfortunate.

Chin Up

I know it may be rough and hurt a little but with something like this its best to let it blow over or the method i use is just act as if nothing happened (kinda move on and act indifferent e.g. if i see her act like you would normally)


Use this as motivation to go out a meet more women so that you do not get stuck with going to girls in your social circle as well

it hurts a lot especially when everyone and i mean everyone even our families expected us to be together, but she said im her best friend and she doesnt want to lose me after what shes going to say and honestly i really dont know what to do with all my love to her because the worst thing for me is to see her with someone else and not talk like before.. cus im sure things are going to be different and we wont look at each other the same.

 

[Big Daddy]

Even though I really advise you not to do this, I think everyone need to fail (or not) or go through a harsh situation in order to understand something. I've been there - not as dramatic as this situation, but I've been hopelessly wanting to talk to a girl I liked and she's like "no fucking way, we're 'just friends'!" and managed to get out of this with due time.

If you REALLY want to have a shot with this girl, you HAVE TO CUT CONTACT WITH HER. You have to cut contact with her for at least a couple of months, and revamp yourself during that time. I swear to god that you have better chances of her going after you if you stop talking to her for 2 months and reinvent your style and starting talking to other girls (and let that fact become evident). Maybe pack some muscle to give you an edgier look (you probably won't notice any difference in 2 months, but may experience a confident boost of knowing that you'll be strong as motherfucker in the future).

You will NOT have this girl as your lover if you cry in front of her because you wanted something that you don't have - especially if that means her. You'll have her as your lover if you become what she values in a lover. If you cut contact, suddenly she'll miss you and wonder why you stopped talking to her. Two months later you reemerge from earth dressing completely different, talking to girls and she'll wonder how she didn't see this mysterious, womanizer you... and soon after she'll be chasing you.

You have to think of your rejection exactly like this: "meh, I've got tons of dates scheduled with hot models, I don't mind being rejected by her at all" and you've got to ACT like this was entirely true.

 

[Mr. oblivious]

\

it hurts a lot especially when everyone and i mean everyone even our families expected us to be together.

Thats a lot of social pressure everyone is putting on her

If you REALLY want to have a shot with this girl, you HAVE TO CUT CONTACT WITH HER. You have to cut contact with her for at least a couple of months, and revamp yourself during that time. I swear to god that you have better chances of her going after you if you stop talking to her for 2 months and reinvent your style and starting talking to other girls (and let that fact become evident). Maybe pack some muscle to give you an edgier look (you probably won't notice any difference in 2 months, but may experience a confident boost of knowing that you'll be strong as motherfucker in the future).

You will NOT have this girl as your lover if you cry in front of her because you wanted something that you don't have - especially if that means her. You'll have her as your lover if you become what she values in a lover. If you cut contact, suddenly she'll miss you and wonder why you stopped talking to her. Two months later you reemerge from earth dressing completely different, talking to girls and she'll wonder how she didn't see this mysterious, womanizer you... and soon after she'll be chasing you.

You have to think of your rejection exactly like this: "meh, I've got tons of dates scheduled with hot models, I don't mind being rejected by her at all" and you've got to ACT like this was entirely true.

I Agree with what big Daddy has said if you what to another chance with her and to put your relationship to a whole new level
1.stop all contact
2.Go an meet new random girls (not girls you already known and are in your social circle)
3.Cause after a month or two she will most likely try contact you (And hopefully by then you would of made some progress and become more manly and confident)

 

[gonzy]

Even though I really advise you not to do this, I think everyone need to fail (or not) or go through a harsh situation in order to understand something. I've been there - not as dramatic as this situation, but I've been hopelessly wanting to talk to a girl I liked and she's like "no fucking way, we're 'just friends'!" and managed to get out of this with due time.

If you REALLY want to have a shot with this girl, you HAVE TO CUT CONTACT WITH HER. You have to cut contact with her for at least a couple of months, and revamp yourself during that time. I swear to god that you have better chances of her going after you if you stop talking to her for 2 months and reinvent your style and starting talking to other girls (and let that fact become evident). Maybe pack some muscle to give you an edgier look (you probably won't notice any difference in 2 months, but may experience a confident boost of knowing that you'll be strong as motherfucker in the future).

You will NOT have this girl as your lover if you cry in front of her because you wanted something that you don't have - especially if that means her. You'll have her as your lover if you become what she values in a lover. If you cut contact, suddenly she'll miss you and wonder why you stopped talking to her. Two months later you reemerge from earth dressing completely different, talking to girls and she'll wonder how she didn't see this mysterious, womanizer you... and soon after she'll be chasing you.

You have to think of your rejection exactly like this: "meh, I've got tons of dates scheduled with hot models, I don't mind being rejected by her at all" and you've got to ACT like this was entirely true.

\

it hurts a lot especially when everyone and i mean everyone even our families expected us to be together.

Thats a lot of social pressure everyone is putting on her

I Agree with what big Daddy has said if you what to another chance with her and to put your relationship to a whole new level
1.stop all contact
2.Go an meet new random girls (not girls you already known and are in your social circle)
3.Cause after a month or two she will most likely try contact you (And hopefully by then you would of made some progress and become more manly and confident)

it will be hard for me especially because my friends are her friends as well and we both dont really have other friends than ours, boys or girls. maybe that social pressure made things worse and affected her thinking negatively, i dont know but i know it will be very hard for us to cut contact completely because after all she said im afraid to lose you my best friend and i dont want that to happen..

ill try my best to become a better man and keep away for a while i also hope she wont meet anyone new, but you can never really control peoples feelings.

thanks alot big daddy and mr. oblivious for helping and cheering me up i hope it'll end up good for us and who knows maybe she will change her mind..

 

[Big Daddy]

Yep, go for it. Stop giving her that much attention, which is a position she wants you to be in, and is a position you DON'T want to be in, because you're a fucking dominant alpha male and she's supposed to go after you, not the other way around.

That's why you also need to start talking to random girls. Suddenly, you're talking to girls? And getting her numbers? And going on dates? And what about this new, edgy haircut and outfit? This will drive her nuts and soon you're going to have her chasing you. If she's close to your and your friends, family, etc it will be easier for her to notice all of this without any extra effort on your part (and that's something your ultimately want).

You don't even have to spend much money on changing your style. I'd say getting a few accessories, a new edgy haircut (look for haircuts of soccer players, they tend to be modern and edgy. Then show your hairdresser a pic of a haircut you want to replicate) would go a long way in helping you with this.