First Post, First Approach! Tell me what you think

[onlyshallow]

Yea, I've been reading the articles fairly religiously for about 7 months, but did my first real approach today! I focused mainly on solving other problems of mine (addiction to meds, depression,etc) because the only thing positive in my life was the fact that I had really good grades in school. Now, that I feel clean and healthy I'm ready to start this journey for real! I worked my fundamentals a lot too, from my body language to my walk, to the facial expressions and my style,etc. I also improved my social skills a bit. I turned 18 2 months ago btw!

What I have going for me naturally are the byronic traits and the sense of humor. I also notice now that hot girls look at me and play with their hair, brush up against me,etc. My problem is more about adding the light and sexy je-ne-sais-quoi to conversations.

I noticed that, before, when I was talking to girls, I had lame fundamentals and was always being the entertainer guy or the super-boring-not-even-friendzone-material guy. And that's when I wasn't super high like a loser! So, right now, my main focus regarding approaches is really the conversation itself. I wanna be more of a challenge to girls (flirty, chase frames, compliance,etc) like a sexy guy is, while also being relatable (effective deep dive, humble)! If I achieve this, I think I'll have the hardest part done. Anyway, I had super approach anxiety today, but eventually said fuck it and went to approach a girl:

-Me: (nudging her arm, looking elsewhere)
-Her: (looking at me with a hint of curiosity in her eyes, seemed a bit shy) Helloo
-Me: (look back into her eyes with sexy smile) Shy?
-Her: Shy about what?
-Me: nevermind haha, i'm OnlyShallow, what's your name (didn't extend for hand)
-Her: I'm Hailey, how are you? (not too friendly, but definitely not rude or creeped out)
-Me: As fine as one can be soaking wet from heavy rain , you?
-Her: I burnt my fingers
-Me: Wtf haha show me (didn't think of something witty to say, so tried to build compliance)
-HerTakes her gloves off, and show me the burns, which were almost nonexistent. Unfortunately, I didn't use this as a pretext to touch her hands)
-Me: I'm supposed to see something ? so, what do you do when you dont talk to strangers?
-Her: I play with hot wax
-Me: Ohhh, you like it hot ;p (didn't really wink, but the feel was the same haha)
-Her: (laughs genuinely, not at me too, doesn't seem to dislike it from my perspective)
-Me: Seriously though
-Her: How old are you?
-Me: What do you give me?
-Her: (Doesn't reply, suddenly seems less excited and leaves)


So yeah, that's basically it. I'm happy to know that my voice and body language was good. I spoke slowly too and made an effort to use more interesting words and phrasing. However, I'm happy that I made some sexual comment (like it hot ;p) and was less of a boring, nice guy without being too much of an entertainer, but I'm wondering if I was too much on the teasing-cocky replies (wanted to be a challenge) or if I wasn't clear on my intentions (didn't compliment her,etc). Tell me what you think, about the strenghts and weaknesses I displayed here and I'll try to work on em tomorrow!

 

[ray_zorse]

You did fine. You spotted some missed opportunities which is good (a purpose of writing FRs like this one) but no biggie I'd say.

Approaches are a bit like pulling the handle on a slot machine, you never know what you'll get. In this case I'd say when you didn't comply with her demand to know your age, she lost interest and left. Normally, non compliance spikes attraction, but sometimes they want things on their terms, and those ones should be left alone. Post some longer conversations, also put them in FRs board with FR: before the topic.

Good job brother. Keep it up

Ray

 

[onlyshallow]

Ok thanks Ray! Basically, it was a good introduction but I should've been more serious when she asked about my age and try to build a connection or deep dive her from there?

 

[ray_zorse]

No I don't think you needed to do anything differently, in hindsight possibly, but you could not have known she would react that way. I mean basically she wasn't super interested, if she was interested at all she was on the fence, and the smallest thing could mess you up in that case. Just keep approaching and doing what you're doing, cos you'll soon find one who *is* interested and doesn't just fuck off cos you looked at her sideways, if you take my point. That's what I was trying to get at with my slot machine analogy.
Ray

 

[Mr.Rob]

Dude you have a solid head start you'll do just fine.

Yeah kicking addictions is one of the hardest things in the world. Keep on the straight and narrow and use it to your advantage as you noted (Byronic traits).

Glad to have you on the boards man! Keep approaching. Post some field reports so we can help point out where you're going wrong and how to improve. Conversation examples like you posted here are great so keep them coming.

Hope to see you more on here in the future.

Keep it pimpin

-Rob

 

[Slippin' Jimmy]

Welcome to the boards OnlyShallow (named after the MBV song i take it?). You're lucky to have found GC at such a young age. You're first approach was good, but i think you're right you went a bit overboard on the "teasing-cocky replies". It comes across as a bit entertainerish. I know I used to try to be the entertainer a bit more when i was more nervous and inexperienced, and I think women pick up on this. These i just sprinkle the light/funny/playful stuff more sparsely throughout the interaction.

 

[onlyshallow]

Yo guys, I put up a Field Report in the Field Report section, I'd like to know what you think there as well