For guys who can't get off from blow jobs...

Chase

Chieftan
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I've seen guys talk about this on here, so I know I'm not the only one that's suffered from this.

I used to take pride in my inability to get off from blow jobs, as if it made me special somehow: "I am only satisfied by a woman's cooch. Nothing less will suffice!"

But sometime back I decided it might actually be cool to be able to get off in different ways. A few remarks on learning to get off from blow jobs:

  • The easiest way to gain experience cumming from blow jobs is to have sex with a girl until you are about to cum, then pull out and have her finish you with her mouth. There's a bit of a disconnect here, and possibly some disappointment if you're going from vagina (more exciting) to mouth (less exciting), but you're already primed enough that it'll be a much quicker route to orgasm than if she blows you from scratch. This can be a nice way to do the pull-out method if you want to go bareback on a chick and not make her pregnant but still put your seed in her (just make sure she swallows)

  • If you're doing it from scratch and you are not naturally excited by blow jobs, prepare for a long initial session. The first time I came from a blow job wasn't until I resolved I wanted to cum from a blow job, and the girl had to blow me for 45 minutes. She took it like a champ (though she needed a few breaks... and her jaw was sore for days afterwards). I ended up fantasizing about being in a vagina rather than a mouth to help things along

  • It does get faster than this. As you train yourself to enjoy blow jobs more, you start being able to cum from them in 25 minutes, 20 minutes, 15 minutes, etc.

  • You can achieve some very intense orgasms from blow jobs. I've never gotten one as intense as the most intense penis-in-vagina orgasms I've had, but I've definitely had some outlier blow job orgasms that are more intense than the average penis-in-vagina orgasm is. The secret to these, at least for me, is to do absolutely no fantasizing about being in her vagina or anything else, and to stay completely in the moment, and let her get you there purely with the stimulation her mouth is giving to your member. It's slower, but the buildup is stronger, and when you finally get to orgasm, it can be very intense

  • The easiest way to cum from a blowjob, at least in my experience, is 69 with the girl on top. Give her a few vaginal orgasms, then just dig around in her pussy with your tongue so she can focus on servicing you (if you find a woman who can continue to suck you off well while she is orgasming, you've got a great find; most girls go into an 'orgasm trance state' and can only just moan and cum with your cock in their mouth, but them not actually sucking much/at all while they're in the throes of it). The combination of your tongue penetrating her and her gobbling your cock sort of confuses your mind, feels quite a bit like bareback sex, and is just generally an enjoyable experience

  • You can play with a woman's body to enhance the experience for her and for you. There are some blow job positions you can get into where you're able to reach the girl's vagina with her hand and get her off while she's blowing you. This is fun to do. If you're seated in a chair while she kneels in front of you, it is easy to play with her breasts, which you will enjoy and if she's like most girls she will too. Making the experience more erogenous for her turns her on, gets her enjoying sucking your dick more, and prompts her to do so more passionately, which enhances the experience for you

I will say that cumming from a blow job does not have the same kind of satisfaction you get after cumming in a woman's vagina.

That is doubly so for cumming in her vagina after you have made her cum from sex (or, better still, simultaneous orgasm).

However, it is a nice alternative way to get off that is worth keeping in your repertoire.

Even if you are "not a blow job guy", you can learn to enjoy these, and once you learn to enjoy them, they are nice.

Some girls really love to suck dick, so it is also nice being able to satisfy that urge for girls who like to do that.

Some girls do not like to suck dick at all, and it is somewhat a fun challenge to see if you can train them to love sucking your dick, by doing things like associating it with orgasm (making her cum via 69 or fingering while she is also sucking you off, for instance) and groping/rubbing/caressing her during the act. Doing the "have sex with her until she orgasms a bunch, then pull out and have her finish you with her mouth" routine is another way to tie sucking her man off to pleasurable sensations in her mind.

Also remember that there is technique involved in blow jobs, like anything. If a girl is not very good at it, you can train her. You'll get more sensitive to which girls use good technique vs. which need training as you enjoy blow jobs more and get more sensitive to women's performance during them.

I'll add in closing that learning to cum from blow jobs does not change your personality or desires or anything.

My first time with a woman I will never settle for cumming any other way than in her vagina. Because that is the thing I want more than anything, and the only thing that satisfies me that time.

But if it is not the first time or the second time, and we are just enjoying one another in various different ways, being able to enjoy other parts of her body is a very nice addition to your sexual repertoire, and it is nice to have that ability.

Chase
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Isn't this over rationalizing, could it come down to women oral skills? The only people in the manosphere that had this issue were heavily mra dudes, that were scared of giving women the control over the penis, there was a nextasf poster named nwp, that avoided bjs for this reason
 

Protean

Space Monkey
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The easiest way to gain experience cumming from blow jobs is to have sex with a girl until you are about to cum, then pull out and have her finish you with her mouth. There's a bit of a disconnect here, and possibly some disappointment if you're going from vagina (more exciting) to mouth (less exciting), but you're already primed enough that it'll be a much quicker route to orgasm than if she blows you from scratch. This can be a nice way to do the pull-out method if you want to go bareback on a chick and not make her pregnant but still put your seed in her (just make sure she swallows)
As a guy who loves oral almost as much as sex, this is pretty much what I was doing with an orally-fixated fwb until the quarantine hit and I think it’s the best compromise.

Because as much as I love having my dick sucked, cumming before I get to fuck a girl isn’t fun for me. It’s like going to a huge title fight only to see a first round knockout: exciting, but you can’t help but feel you didn’t get your money’s worth.

I do agree however that you can have power orgasms from fellatio alone. In fact, one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had came from getting blown by a lover who had mean oral skills after about two weeks of celibacy (no masturbating either).

So that’s what I’d suggest. Refrain from getting off for 2-3 weeks then find yourself a gal with docterate in downing dick.

Protean
 

Chase

Chieftan
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@Skills,

Isn't this over rationalizing, could it come down to women oral skills? The only people in the manosphere that had this issue were heavily mra dudes, that were scared of giving women the control over the penis, there was a nextasf poster named nwp, that avoided bjs for this reason
I don't know about those guys, but I agree that sounds weird.

I have had a lot of blow jobs from a lot of girls over the years. Including from some highly skilled girls... one told me when we hooked up she was "known as the blow job queen" (I did not ask in what circles) and that she'd been perfecting her technique for years.

Never had any thoughts about "giving up control of the penis" (lol). However, none of this did anything for me for the longest time. Didn't matter what a girl's skills were. I'd be lying there, getting a blow job, sometimes from a girl who was obviously talented, sometimes from a girl who was obviously not, either way sort of thinking, "This is kind of nice, I guess, that this nice girl has me in her mouth," but mostly thinking, "All right, getting really bored now. Time for that PUSSY!"

I don't know if it's a physical thing due to something (e.g., American/circumcised). Or if it is some mental configuration. I can tell you I personally was always super fascinated with pussy and totally uninterested with everything else. Used to be that when girls asked me to give them anal, I'd try to put penis in anus, but I'd feel so disappointed my dick would go limp (I eventually got over that, but for a long time there was this disappointing feeling of "Oh man, why am I sticking it in her butt/mouth? Why am I not getting it in her pussy?").

I used to explain it to girls as, "I have this weird fetish. It is called 'fuckin' the pussy'."

Anyway. I don't know how many guys are actually like that. It's probably a minority. But I have talked to other guys who are like this, where it is not some weird thing about control, they are perfectly happy to let girls suck them off, it just does not do anything for them and they cannot get off from it.

The tips in the OP are what worked for me though.

Chase
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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@Skills,



I don't know about those guys, but I agree that sounds weird.

I have had a lot of blow jobs from a lot of girls over the years. Including from some highly skilled girls... one told me when we hooked up she was "known as the blow job queen" (I did not ask in what circles) and that she'd been perfecting her technique for years.

Never had any thoughts about "giving up control of the penis" (lol). However, none of this did anything for me for the longest time. Didn't matter what a girl's skills were. I'd be lying there, getting a blow job, sometimes from a girl who was obviously talented, sometimes from a girl who was obviously not, either way sort of thinking, "This is kind of nice, I guess, that this nice girl has me in her mouth," but mostly thinking, "All right, getting really bored now. Time for that PUSSY!"

I don't know if it's a physical thing due to something (e.g., American/circumcised). Or if it is some mental configuration. I can tell you I personally was always super fascinated with pussy and totally uninterested with everything else. Used to be that when girls asked me to give them anal, I'd try to put penis in anus, but I'd feel so disappointed my dick would go limp (I eventually got over that, but for a long time there was this disappointing feeling of "Oh man, why am I sticking it in her butt/mouth? Why am I not getting it in her pussy?").

I used to explain it to girls as, "I have this weird fetish. It is called 'fuckin' the pussy'."

Anyway. I don't know how many guys are actually like that. It's probably a minority. But I have talked to other guys who are like this, where it is not some weird thing about control, they are perfectly happy to let girls suck them off, it just does not do anything for them and they cannot get off from it.

The tips in the OP are what worked for me though.

Chase
I guess it has to do with being circumcised, totally makes sense, I rather be with a girl that is good at bjs vs a hotter girl that doesn't give bjs... that is how much I value bjs for me is higher than sex... when I read this post I was thinking total mental masturbation, no pun intended, now that you clarified about being with a bj queen and being meh, the circumcision totally makes sense, it has to be that, curious for guys to chime in and explain why they don't enjoy it. This is my first time hearing other than nwp this and I have been an active regular in multiple forums.
 

FunGuy

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I don't really care for bjs, but if she insists on doing it then I just rock with it. For me a bj is like a foreplay thing, I dont finish unless shes like on her period and I can't penetrate.

What I find weird is when guys tell me they got a bj from such and such girl who they don't find attractive. To me it makes no sense having my penis anywhere near a chick im not personally attracted to, even if shes objectively attractive.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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I don't really care for bjs, but if she insists on doing it then I just rock with it. For me a bj is like a foreplay thing, I dont finish unless shes like on her period and I can't penetrate.

What I find weird is when guys tell me they got a bj from such and such girl who they don't find attractive. To me it makes no sense having my penis anywhere near a chick im not personally attracted to, even if shes objectively attractive.

wowow! you guys are from another galaxy lol..
 

Chase

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I guess it has to do with being circumcised, totally makes sense
It might be. I'm still not sure. That was my main theory for a number of years.

I used to ask buddies, "Do you like BJs? And anal? Are you circumcised?" About 80% of the time the answer would be what I expected. But it wasn't a perfect overlap. So I sort of wrote that off as a total smoking gun answer.

The studies on it seem to be conflicting.

So I have sort of slid into thinking maybe it is some kind of mental thing.

Or maybe I just jerked it way too much as a teen. I almost never jack off anymore but I used to have these marathon multi-hour jerk sessions as a teenager. Probably damaged a nerve or something.

You still end up loving sex. But at least for me a lot of it is mental. I grew up hearing about girls who'd suck every guy at a party off but not spread their legs. So to me the BJ has no value as a conquest, but if you're getting that pussy, you've conquered the girl. And the conquest is the most exciting part.

Get the pussy = conquest. Go raw on her = bigger conquest. Dump your seed into her naked pussy = bigger conquest still. Impregnate her = ultimate conquest (but be careful with that one, lol). You're the master of her uterus.

You can shoot as many loads as you want down her throat but if some other guy comes along and fucks that pussy, he's the one who's potentially taking over her uterus with his seed while you are just shooting futile loads. No conquest.

I didn't get into anal until I read about the psychological effects on the recipient of anal and how people's psychology shifts noticeably after they've been a recipient of anal sex. As soon as I read about that my dick was always hard to put it in a girl's pooper (and the effect is definitely real. Give her a bunch of anal orgasms and you've completely conquered the shit out of her -- no pun intended).

If I'm getting too excited during sex and need to rein it back in, one trick I have is to pay attention to the physical sensation and forget all the mental stuff. Then it is just "Actually, it is warm, and it is wet, and there is friction, but there is not really a lot of real sensation here, really", regardless the tightness/etc. of the pussy. I don't know if that works the same for other guys (maybe this is not so unique)... haven't really talked about it.

You can still get physical enjoyment out of it. Close to orgasm the physical sensation is still super intense.

But earlier / midway through if you quit focusing on the mental and zero in on the physical, there is not really that much physical sensation.

A BJ for me was always "lack of much physical sensation + lack of much mental sensation."

Very different than for you, it sounds like.

wowow! you guys are from another galaxy lol..
Haha.

Like @FunGuy, I have had weird experiences with guys telling me about BJs.

Conversations will go like this:

Guy: Man, I got this amazing blow job from this blah blah chick!​
Me: That's great man. You fuck her?​
Guy: No, after that blow job I was done. She got dressed and went home.​
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, bro. Might be hard to get her back out again if she didn't get the D the first round.​
Guy: Maybe, but I don't even care! That BJ was enough for me.​
Me:



You definitely get that "are we speaking the same language here?" sort of feeling.

Chase
 

Velasco

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Yeah I agree with everything chase said except the part about his dick going soft for anal sex (and only getting into it after reading about the psychological effects) Maybe has to do with the times. Where anal is looked as more forbidden than consolation prize "nah you ain't fucking this pussy. Ass only")

But yeah back with bjs, I hate them so much that when I'm watching porn, I'll even skip through the part where shes going down on the guy. The exception is me throat fucking the girl. To the point where shes gagging/chocking and her face is red tearing up a bit.
 

Skills

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.
Yeah I agree with everything chase said except the part about his dick going soft for anal sex (and only getting into it after reading about the psychological effects) Maybe has to do with the times. Where anal is looked as more forbidden than consolation prize "nah you ain't fucking this pussy. Ass only")

But yeah back with bjs, I hate them so much that when I'm watching porn, I'll even skip through the part where shes going down on the guy. The exception is me throat fucking the girl. To the point where shes gagging/chocking and her face is red tearing up a bit.
Wow this is just really eye opening, even in the book the game when neal Strauss claimed td did not enjoy bjs I found that super strange, my favorite porn is gloryhole
 

FunGuy

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But yeah back with bjs, I hate them so much that when I'm watching porn, I'll even skip through the part where shes going down on the guy. The exception is me throat fucking the girl. To the point where shes gagging/chocking and her face is red tearing up a bit.
Lmao that has me wondering if any straight guy bothers to watch those parts. Its kinda gay watching a guy getting his dick sucked.
 
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