Friend-zoned by possibly the hottest woman I've ever been friends with. I wanna cry.

[batman12]

It's so easy to talk to her. We literally text for hours and I'm still intrigued. I don't really have to spend much effort or thought in my texts either. It just flows. We both write and are into photography. Oh and she's absolutely gorgeous and has an amazing personality. Honestly I'd marry her tomorrow...

The thing is, I'm in the friend zone. She said "I hope I'm not leading you on and hopefully we can be friends." Both times we've hung out, it's been with her friends. I asked her out again, she said she's gunna bring her friends again.

It's rare for me to meet a woman who I consider to be a 12. I'm just mad at the world right now. Why god why does the friend zone have to exist?

Regardless, I wanna stay friends with her anyway. Like I actually enjoy talking to her as a friend, even though I do wanna be with her. And also, I more or less enjoy having female friends... like I don't try to bang all of my female friends.

The question is this: Do you think the freindzone is worth it? And how long should I stay in it before I call it quits? Keep in mind that if I was to escape, I'd be dating a woman who I'm crazy about...

Also, the thing is, I'm a senior and she's a freshman. I'm like 6 years older than her and I feel like that matters a lot more when you're under 20 (she's either 18 or 19). I was listening to Ryan Reynolds give a talk about how he started dating Blake Lively who is 11 years younger than him and he basically said that we were friends for a while first. And I've seen friends escape the friend zone... but I'm wondering, is the friend zone worth it? Like how long should I stay in it before I move on? I feel like the more I talk to her, the less drive I have to talk to other woman because I'm kinda happy (but kinda sad cause I ain't getting laid).

 

[James D]

Not an ideal situation.

Friend zone is not worth it, I'll get to it in a bit.

First, you can get her. The possibility is there.

If you get her alone and "excite" her via escalation, you can get her excited enough to make a move on her and have her accept it.

But none of that will work if you walk on eggshells around her.

It certainly won't work if she is a girl you "can't stop thinking about" (a must read article on the main site)

In other words, if you treat her as this unattainable queen who is the fairest among all maidens, it'll appear in your vibe and this is a definitive killer of a sexy vibe.

Which is somewhat contradicting because the whole reason you want her is rooted in scarcity and her being a special one.

If you can change that mindset, it'll fix your vibe.

Now, there are some things you're doing wrong my friend.

Texting a girl for hours is a no-no. Meeting her with her friends is another big no, if you want to get together with her romantically.

I'd start with cutting that off and trying to get her one to one. If she doesn't want to go out at all with you one to one, then she is not interested in you.

Now, if that's confirmed and if you're wondering if it's still worth it hanging out in the friendzone, consider this:

Will you be fine and maintain your beautiful friendship with her when she starts getting banged and dicked by some other dude (who's probably gonna be a douchebag in your eyes), and potentially hear from her how he drives her crazy but she can't stop having sex with him?

Will you be fine when she bangs some other dude and, no matter what she tells you, you can TELL she respects this man above all others and views him as the manliest man in her life whom she takes dick from and swallows his seed every morning?

If you can be fine with that, then the friendzone is worth it.

If you're not fine with that, then you should probably re evaluate how much you really want her as a friend.

Because get that, if she's hot, she will attract males and she will submit to a dominant one.

To recap:

You won't get her by hanging in the friendzone. That never happens.

You get her by making moves on her and escalating further.

This unfortunately might backfire with your current mindset so I'd suggest fixing that first and moving out of scarcity.

Now, there's an alternate option but most guys don't want to take it so it's up to you.

And that's pre-selection and scarcity.

Go bang a few other chicks and subtly let her find out. Seriously, do that. If it's a college campus, people find out anyway.

Take one as a FWB and keep banging her. It'll strip you away from the scarcity you're feeling, which will have ripple effects on your vibe.

At the same time, withdraw the attention you give to her. Reducing or cut out texting and any other forms of attention giving.

She'll have to feel at least a bit more attracted to you because that's how women work.

Then you can make a move from there.

 

[Chase]

@batman12,

My sympathies... however, please read these two articles immediately:

The Sad Tale of "Shopping Guy"

In this post, I'd like to share with you a cautionary tale. I'd like to tell you the story of a man named Shopping Guy. Shopping Guy isn't really his name. His family and his friends call him something else, no doubt; something closer to an actual name and less of a label. But I know him only as...

www.girlschase.com

Can't Stop Thinking About Her? Here's Why You Need to Meet More Girls

You know that feeling. There's this girl you've been chasing forever. You positively, absolutely, can't stop thinking about her. She's the most amazing woman in the world -- you're certain of it. There's never been another one like her. Her laughter sounds like the delicate tinkling of the...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

 

[mist]

Sorry man it's most likely over.

It won't be like this forever, but by that time she'll most likely not be in your mind anymore. You'll have found another lady and or ladies to obsess about haha.

IMO You have things you need to develop before escaping the friend zone should even be a thought.

I've been there. Trying to figure out one girl. Don't waste your time. Anything you do will come from a place of weakness and won't be effective like it'd be from a more experienced and abundant man...then again an experienced/abundant man wouldn't be in this position.

But hey let's give your questions a look huh

Do you think the freindzone is worth it?

Depends.

1. It can be valuable for getting more exposure to women if you just haven't had that(If you're a late blooming guy).
2. Can get you accustomed and comfortable with a certain demographic of women (Blondes,Fitness,Ethnic girls etc).
3. Can be used for preselection, social proof, and tapping extended circles outside of yours for opportunities and more pussy.
4. Can hook her up with someone cool and be seen as a cool dude who has access to hot girls which is nice for your reputation.

It depends man. How can you make this worth it?

And how long should I stay in it before I call it quits?

For as long as you are getting some utility from it. As soon as it is no longer pleasurable for you and her best to cordially end it.

Keep in mind that if I was to escape, I'd be dating a woman who I'm crazy about...

I gotcha...will you though?

From reading your other posts and comments you are very clearly low intermediate (You get dates) if not outright a beginner (scarcity mindset and poor frame management). I doubt you are equipped to handle and turn this around.

You might be thinking "DUH BITCH THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING."

Which fair... also props for being open to learn and ask about a sore spot. That's not easy...Believe me.

Hear me out though.

Precedent is not an easy beast to reverse. It is not impossible, but you have other things more productive to be focusing on as a beginner.

You'll get 10x better spending a majority of your time with many other women and social dynamics than focusing all your energy on reversing this set or sets like it.

Would you rather keep making the same damn mistakes and getting learn to fix them retroactively....or be the man skilled at proactively making things of high quality?

This proactive man of course still makes mistakes, but he's made so many things he can pinpoint where the issues are, avoid making making critical mistakes in the first place, and have the experience to comeback and manage errors when they arise.

You becoming that man will also give you more options. Currently as the retroactive man you probably haven't thought of walking away. Truly moving on. Maybe with this girl or maybe not.

You'll meet another woman who pushes your buttons. Maybe one who does it even more. Develop into the man who pushes hers and moves the interaction forward. Then you'll be ready to pursue feats like this and have it be worthwhile.

Truly take a moment to consider your options. To step outside of your scarcity mindset and recognize your freedom...

Sorry man it's most likely over with her.

Next time you write hopefully you pull up with 10 different women or even more leads to work with. That'll really give you a shot

Peace.

 

[D. Gately]

If you can't use her to get hot girls then I'd forget about her. Also, if you don't see her for a long time she might change her mind about you later, hopefully you've leveled up by then.

 

[Fuck This]

Let her be your wingman......

 

[DarkKnight]

You are gambling with your time and also way too invested to use her as a wingwoman or anything like that. Abort ship. I would try to escalate and put the ball in her court but I think in your case that will be a bit weird if you were way too deep into the friendzone.

Also she is not a 12. You lack abundance and especially absolute abundance.

 

[Warped Mindless]

She’s not special, you lack perspective because you aren’t meeting enough women.

Forget her and go meet some more women.

 

[D. Gately]

She’s not special, you lack perspective because you aren’t meeting enough women.

Forget her and go meet some more women.

For sure. I've been to the VS Fashion Show and none of them were 12s either.

 

[batman12]

Not an ideal situation.

Friend zone is not worth it, I'll get to it in a bit.

First, you can get her. The possibility is there.

If you get her alone and "excite" her via escalation, you can get her excited enough to make a move on her and have her accept it.

But none of that will work if you walk on eggshells around her.

It certainly won't work if she is a girl you "can't stop thinking about" (a must read article on the main site)

In other words, if you treat her as this unattainable queen who is the fairest among all maidens, it'll appear in your vibe and this is a definitive killer of a sexy vibe.

Which is somewhat contradicting because the whole reason you want her is rooted in scarcity and her being a special one.

If you can change that mindset, it'll fix your vibe.

Now, there are some things you're doing wrong my friend.

Texting a girl for hours is a no-no. Meeting her with her friends is another big no, if you want to get together with her romantically.

I'd start with cutting that off and trying to get her one to one. If she doesn't want to go out at all with you one to one, then she is not interested in you.

Now, if that's confirmed and if you're wondering if it's still worth it hanging out in the friendzone, consider this:

Will you be fine and maintain your beautiful friendship with her when she starts getting banged and dicked by some other dude (who's probably gonna be a douchebag in your eyes), and potentially hear from her how he drives her crazy but she can't stop having sex with him?

Will you be fine when she bangs some other dude and, no matter what she tells you, you can TELL she respects this man above all others and views him as the manliest man in her life whom she takes dick from and swallows his seed every morning?

If you can be fine with that, then the friendzone is worth it.

If you're not fine with that, then you should probably re evaluate how much you really want her as a friend.

Because get that, if she's hot, she will attract males and she will submit to a dominant one.

To recap:

You won't get her by hanging in the friendzone. That never happens.

You get her by making moves on her and escalating further.

This unfortunately might backfire with your current mindset so I'd suggest fixing that first and moving out of scarcity.

Now, there's an alternate option but most guys don't want to take it so it's up to you.

And that's pre-selection and scarcity.

Go bang a few other chicks and subtly let her find out. Seriously, do that. If it's a college campus, people find out anyway.

Take one as a FWB and keep banging her. It'll strip you away from the scarcity you're feeling, which will have ripple effects on your vibe.

At the same time, withdraw the attention you give to her. Reducing or cut out texting and any other forms of attention giving.

She'll have to feel at least a bit more attracted to you because that's how women work.

Then you can make a move from there.

You're right dude. This is what I needed to hear. I got over her. I read Hector's article on "Stop Auto Rejecting Yourself" and he mentioned how sometimes girls who have rejected him, came back around later. I'll stay friendly with her, but I'm going to stop wasting my time pursuing her. If she comes around, then hooray, but if not, it's whatever.

 

[batman12]

@batman12,

My sympathies... however, please read these two articles immediately:

The Sad Tale of "Shopping Guy"

In this post, I'd like to share with you a cautionary tale. I'd like to tell you the story of a man named Shopping Guy. Shopping Guy isn't really his name. His family and his friends call him something else, no doubt; something closer to an actual name and less of a label. But I know him only as...

www.girlschase.com

Can't Stop Thinking About Her? Here's Why You Need to Meet More Girls

You know that feeling. There's this girl you've been chasing forever. You positively, absolutely, can't stop thinking about her. She's the most amazing woman in the world -- you're certain of it. There's never been another one like her. Her laughter sounds like the delicate tinkling of the...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

I've only been thinking about her for like a week, it was never really that bad. It didn't work out, but I've read enough of your articles to know when to call it quits.

I decided to stay friends with her, because she's still a good friend (helps me out with school and gives me advice here and there), but I'm not wasting my time with the long texting conversations back and forth. I just saw my neighbor pursue this one girl and get friend zoned. He escaped and it kinda inspired me. But I realized that this is literally the only guy that I know that has escaped the friend zoned. Most people end up like the sad shopping guy.