No, sorry to break this to you, but you didn't. You pussied out. Because you're afraid of rejection. Deep down you know that you're going to get rejected, so you're procrastinating and finding excuses. And we don't like excuses. Especially not after giving you so much advice.
About which, what advice have we given? Besides what you took to heart yourself, what do you think is the most important advice we've given to you so far? That you can see that we mostly agree on in here?
you think I should have told her “yeah I would like to have sex too” - to reward her proportionally? I felt like that would be needy!
You're overthinking.
By and large, what you say matters little if at all. What matters is that you have the balls to take action. But so far we're pretty disappointed with you. All you've done is deliver excuses... And we've already told you - multiple times - that we don't like excuses... Also... We don't like people who don't make FR-s showing us that the bravely went in there and actually failed.
Bro, you haven't even failed. If you had failed, we would be applauding your courage by now, but you haven't shown any. Beyond disappointing us, you have failed yourself. You have essentially rejected yourself by not acting when you should have.
Worrying about what you should retort to some bs girly thing she said is not acting. It's stooping to her level. It's unmanly.
I don’t know what’s going on here.
You don't know what's going on here?
If you had to answer your own question, as if we answered you - what do you think our answer would be? Would it be a meta-analysis of everything she said, and how you could retort verbally to it? Or would we tell you to stop fidgeting and just grab her shoulders, and YOLO go for the kiss? Cuz at this point, the latter is far better than a psychoanalysis - even if it fails. Man, if it failed, it would actually help you!
You largely never have to listen to what a woman says. I mean, by all means, be somewhat polite. (Like, don't do stupid shit that will obviously piss her off.) But you almost never have to actually listen to (as in care too much about) what a woman says. And thank God for that! Instead, you should engage, and lead. You should suggest, toy with her, and lead her. And when she is in your frame - when you've got her compliance (and she is alone with you a.k.a. the tribal word "in isolation" with you), then you should escalate. Escalate usually means escalating sexual tension, initiating more intimate or sexual touching (as opposed to touching her arm platonically), and going for the kiss.
You have done many of these things, but you have failed to get to the last point. And up up up! Before you say annnnything at all, hush! No! noooo! we're not interested in your excuses. Suck it up. You have failed yourself, and us, and her. And that's why we're all pissed off at you. And even you are pissed off at yourself at this point.
So, what is the right thing to do next?
That's right. It's getting that rejection like a hero!
Don’t they say that great seducers simply failed a lot more than the average ones?
But... You've barely dared to
touch her! You had your window, and it closed. It may open again. But then you have to
act. Most likely your act will be a failure too (while it's actually just a shit test if you play it right). Despite that she will respect that you have the balls, but when you've stalled and pussied out for so long, it doesn't really help your situation.
But most of all, the worst and most infuriating part about all this, is that we're seeing you reject yourself, by making up excuses and trying to convince us that you couldn't escalate because you had some emotional emergency. You felt things, and thought things, and assumed things. So you decided it was in your best interest to not do anything.
Here's the result of that: She's not only lost interest in you for it. She's also lost respect for you. In here, we've grown tired of you, because it would seem that we're wasting our time with you. Especially if instead of carrying out our advice, you make excuses instead. That's why people are frustrated with you.
So, will you make more excuses, or will you act more? How can you show us that you've acted? And acted right? And in this instance, a failure is a win, but something tells me you're too afraid of failure or rejection to do what is needed. So let me be really frank with you, and show you a little reframe of this situation. If you don't go and get a rejection from her, you will of course disappoint us, but deep down, you will most of all disappoint yourself. We don't have a quarrel with you. We're just trying to give you advice. But... When you seem to disregard, we grow impatient and frustrated, and eventually we give up on you.
But she still had that deniability no? She could have said “I didn’t mean have sex with you” if I somehow messed up the escalation. So she didn’t make it that easy for me did she, I still had to take a huge risk.
Bro, you didn't do anything. You took zero risk. If you actually took a risk, we'd be cheering for you. If you get a rejection, we'll be popping champagne for you! We'll get up on our feet, play the national anthem, put our right hand on our heart, and think of you and how proud we are of you for marking off your first PUA rejection like a champion of love.
