And do all men know this? Because it seems like really advanced knowledge and I wouldn’t know about it without the articles. I just wonder how do non-GC readers ever get laid. It’s so complicated and emotionally exhausting - especially facing the potential rejections!
Most of the advanced guys in here do not worry about rejection at all. It's not even at the back of their minds. Instead, they wonder if they even
should fuck that girl due to the emotional backlash it could create, personally - or worse - socially. Perhaps they're already seeing a few girls, and now they have to put the new girl through the usual steps to warm her up to the other four or five girls, without her freaking out.
Here's a concrete example of the problems guys like us are dealing with on a regular basis:
Made out with a few girls at the club, and then one of them noticed me making out with another girl. Man, she went
ballistic! She stormed up to me, put her hand on my right face and nose and violently shoved me away from her, while simultaneously grabbing my girl's arm and yanking her with her. I had to laugh. Man, women are
fierce! (And I have to learn to be more subtle... Legit sticking point there!)
Thankfully, once you've gotten that far, it's more of a chore than something you really worry about. Butcha know, that new Playstation title is also out, hmmmm, and you wonder if you should postpone seeing this one girl to play that game, cuz the graphics looks so sick. Also your back aches kinda, so maybe sex next week? Also, man, jerking off to porn is just so tempting sometimes. It's so dirty and way easier compared to all the hoops you have to go through to make that one girl cum. I mean, it's ofc rewarding and all but... So much freaking work, man! Can't a guy get a break? Like, where is
my emotional support group???
The really advanced ones have a plan for how to handle that (or they're psychopaths who don't really give a shit, but even they need to navigate social outcomes). Questions these guys deal with on a regular basis is, "Will my actions lead to the girl freaking out when she finds out I have ten others?" Or "If the ten+ others find out, will I have to leave the country?" Now that's the
real reason why gentlemen never talk.
But you wanna know the worst part? And this will really take your mind for a ride.
I almost never approach anymore. Not in the traditional sense, anyway. I never "muster courage and walk across the room in order to 'open' a girl" anymore. I just live my life, talk to some gi ...
Oh, she just told me her husband is coming home early, so I have to get my fucking clothes on FAST and leave through the window!
It all has to do with how you carry yourself before you go over, what (mental) state you're in, how you socialize in a way that gives you maximum social value, and how when you're in the interaction stay congruent to a guy that makes sex an easy outcome for her, regardless of her marital status. (Sigh, and that last part is really gonna fuck with your head after a while...)
Listen very carefully: If your mental state is already famished for female attention before you go over, and your entire life is hinging on her validating you, then you've already lost. Then you might as well not do it at all. These are the real fundamentals.
I wonder where to find that certainty that I will have other girls, which is needed for me to forget about this girl. As you said, 3000 is quite a lot and I got laid only 3 times from all that.
3000 is too much. If that's really true, then you've missed something incredibly basic stuff.
I'm just gonna make a few guesses here. You were in a terrible mental state before going over. You were nervous. Your entire feeling of value hinged on the girl validating you, but time and time you got your ego crushed, but instead of sitting down and trying to figure out how you could really change things, you chose to rationalize it and forget about it before hitting up the next girl, and the next, and the next. Am I close?
Probably you fucked yourself to begin with by doing it on a busy street corner, or some other place that just increases the difficulty ten-fold so you can prove to your buddies that "Hey guys, I'm a daygamer lol!" Sorry, bro, no. You're just destroying daygame for the rest of us... And worse for you, you're not even optimizing for what would give you the maximum chance of success.
Sure, for some daygame is the best and easiest way - peeps are different - but if you've done a few approaches without even hooking the set, let alone a few hundred, you should really sit down and think through a few things, and perhaps try something else. And by that I mean something radically different.
This is where I tell you that "I've been there" even though it's not true. I did like - idk - 50 approaches, and then I changed tac completely. Why? Because I wrote fail FR after fail FR, in detail, got feedback, and realized much quicker that "Omg what an idiot I'm being! I have to change tacs! NOW!"
And I actually know what I’m doing wrong in the approaches - I lack the entitlement, to feel like I deserve the girls. It’s a huge fight against my subconscious trying to maintain the “useless victim” mindset. I don’t know how to work on that, but I’ll keep putting in the effort, that’s for sure.
This is probably the number one reason you should give it a rest. For one, stop approaching girls with the goal of getting laid. Stop making it some achievement, cuz it's not. Find other goals for meeting people. Then - instead of being in the mindset that you need to somehow impress her, or "game" her, be in the mindset of finding out who she really is. Is she cool? Does she have interests that I also have?
Obviously she has to have a deep LEGO fetish here, MineCraft is second best hm... Why do I never get laid??? Ok, maybe expand that a little to... FOOTBALL! Omg I'm gonna die a virgin... Ok, but you do see my point, right? You don't need to be into makeup or menopausal pains, but perhaps expand your horizon a little.
Once you get to this stage, i.e the deep conversational stage - comfort, if you will - it's time to get intimate. Learn to seek compliance earlier and earlier. That's the "game" part of the game. Then learn to isolate, or get her alone for "food" or whatever it takes to get her out of the club. Then show her your ... I mean I often never even get to the sofa, so the floor's gotta do. I've got nice carpets, but please never shine a blacklight at those spots ok!
But yeah, the victim mindset needs to go, pal. It needs to burn. And from the ashes, the phoenix must rise. I think you can do it! And once it's down, also you will stop worrying about rejection. It will seize to be part of your reality. It will be more like "Oh, that girl must've had a really bad day... I hope she gets better." And then when you meet her later at the bar, you get into a really deep conversation with her about life, God, and how deep you can put it in her... Cuz at that point, it's just inevitable. You're no longer worried about rejection, so you're neurons don't even ping on those energy levels with her, and so laying her is not even your most important goal, although at this point, it too is inevitable.
