From lame ass to badass. My transformation

[kristian]

So failure and rejection don't bother me anymore. I push forward anyways with every girl.

*If we talk I push to deep dive and flirt.
*If we flirt I touch.
*When we touch I ask out.
*When we are out I escalate.

And so on, until I get in bed with the woman. The last two weeks have been very eye opening because girls get very flustered when I act and move THAT fast. But they usually accept my advances because when they push me away, I seem to not care as much or at all. It's all about getting new experiences, remember?

Of course, getting them consistently in my bedroom is another story. Part might have to do with screening and another has to do with me being even more sexual. But either way, I am not getting friend-zoned anymore. Girls KNOW what I am about - and that's totally fine and a big leap forward.

Another thing, since I've been trying to run some social circle game a little as a side-thing to cold approach I now understand why girls have been deflecting my advances. It usually has to do with sexual availability (find out there a boyfriend or a good boyfriend candidate involved).

New teachings and worldviews

Tuesday night was a little sad night. For the first time in my dating life, I cried for a girl I barely know. She was into me but did not want to "complicate" things because she was a lover of a friend and a music-partner of mine. And as I was taking the bus back home I was sad because she was missing on something great. I know I change girls life for the better (at least from the past relationships I had), and she said "I can't" and that crushed me. I do not think about her anymore because I move on fast now, but still. She missed the opportunity of her lifetime.

I also went out with another girl yesterday and pushed it hard. Trying to manhandle kiss her, amongst other things. She fought back but loved it. I asked her out again and she might reply wanting to see me again.

But I really don't care about any particular girl and that's something new as well because she is just a process. Now that I get so many approach invitations and escalation windows, I realize that if not her, then another girl will have the chance with me. I am writing "with me" and not the other way around. I guess I am starting to see myself as the price. Thanks to improved fundamentals.

And I have a new date tomorrow that will make me continue doing new things with girls. That's fun.

My fundamentals are improving


So much that women (and some men) stop and stare. I get smiles, warm receptions, compliments, stuff for free, people going out of their way to help me with things, job offers....

I see that being hot moves beyond sexual opportunities. People make my life easier and that's totally new for me. It also helps my music career as I have better stage presence and being hot makes girls want to know me, and other male musicians want to work with me. Fundamentals open doors I never knew existed.

And that's awesome!!!!

 

[kristian]

One thing about this game that really irritates me are girls that misunderstand me and think I am talking to them to make friends. Even the ones I cold approach, I guess its just a part of the game; to sometimes, even when it's getting less common, meet girls who misunderstand your intentions.

A couple of signs the date I went on was a friend zone-date.

*She kept her distance.
*When I tried to escalate, she backed off.
*She was constantly saying she was "glad" I talked to her. (Referring to my indirect cold approach).
*But also saying she wasn't looking for any romance. I then tried to touch more and be sensual, only for her to back off (and that was another warning sign).

But I invited her home anyways and she agreed, only to make things weird by saying she was "looking forward to see my cats" and that she had to go fast. I wondered if she said that because she really just wanted to hook up or because she wanted to "make sure this was only a friend thing". And since I really don't like wasting my time, I went for the kiss to find out. She backed off harshly so I ended it then and there.

Me: Kristina. I really like you, but it feels like it's not mutual, and that's okay. I am really not looking for friends right not.
Her: I like you too. But I thought you were a cool friend to hang out with.
Me: So that means you don't see me the same way as I do? I am attracted to you and want to spend the night with you.
Her: I am sorry...
Me: no worries. Let's call it a day here. I can follow you to a cab and make sure you get home safe.

So I did that.

The thing I saw as well was that while I was spending time trying to find out if she liked me, other girls at the same bar we took drinks at were checking me out. "I could be spending my time with one of them", I thought to myself. And looking back, the girls I've been flirting that has been into me show it very early on, either by responding well to my physicality or by looking back with the same intensity and being more okay with tension. Sexual tension was outright impossible to create with Kristina, something that even Chase wrote about:

"A lot in seduction discusses "creating attraction" or "creating desire" within a woman. And often, as you build attraction up in a girl, or you build up sexual tension within her, you do seem to be creating it, nearly from thin air.

But this overlooks the fact that most of the time this happens it's with women who were already interested in you. Women who from the start had some desire to get to know you further, to find out if you were who they thought you were." https://www.girlschase.com/content/sexual-tension-7-ways-make-women-excited-and-randy

So I guess it was a perfect example of a girl looking for a friend and misunderstanding my intentions. An eye opener and something I will try to avoid at all costs. On the positive side, I know what to look up for and I am glad I ended it before she got home and things got weird at my place.

aha-moments. I guess this game is full of it!

 

[kristian]

So it has been some cool days now, with many interactions with women lately. I've been all over the place the last couple of days trying to understand the Matrix, and realize that the more I see of it, the more attractive I become.

*As I am improving, I am also seeing that several girls can become attracted to me at the same night venue. Making me feel a little uncomfortable because I don't want to hurt or reject somebody.

*I lose girls because my text game is not as tight as I thought.

*I could be even more sexual in my interactions (with vibing) and smooth the edges with getting to know her more with deep dive.

*However, I am getting a lot better at seeing opportunities and going for them then and there (kiss close, number close, trying to go for instant dates and so on).

Happiness and women

So I went home after work feeling crappy. Yes, I manage to number close one or two girls doing my lunch brakes and dates seem not as far and few between. But as I was on my way back home, thinking about all the women I've met so far in my seduction journey I realized one thing:

Women make me happy but that never last. I can play this game forever, knowing that I'll never win this game as long as I am getting happiness from them. So when I got home, I had to confront that feeling. The emptiness inside. The little voice telling me that I am not good enough.

The good thing is that the more I do this, the less important girls become for me, but that means I need to deal with the negative emotions as they arrive. No more hiding from myself, or using women to feel better. I want to let this be a part of my life, but not make my sense of well being dependent on any particular girl or girls attention in general. No amount of meeting, dating or even sleeping with new women will truly make me happy.

That means I will confront my inner feelings as I improve with women the upcoming months. Because I feel things will change women-wise dramatically. Theres no other way around it, if I want to live a good, down to earth life.

So thank you women for all the heartbreaks, love and lessons so far. I can't fucking wait to see what's coming next.

Yours

- Kristian

 

[foggy]

*I lose girls because my text game is not as tight as I thought.

Explain please?

 

[kristian]

*I lose girls because my text game is not as tight as I thought.

Explain please?

Good question.

I usually, after meeting a girl, ask her how her day has been: "Hi, Krissy. Nice to meet you at xyz park. How was your exam?" Referring to something she said in our conversation this question usually get replies so I manage to make her invest a little.

Her: "It went ok. I think I will pass it this time . Nice to see you too, how was your day at work?
Me: "A little stresssful because of deadlines. But now I have free a couple of days . Hows your schedule this week, Krissy? Lets try to grab a bite soon".

But I lose girls here, maybe because I need to deep dive a little more, or maybe I ask to soon. So I need ways to make girls invest even more in conjunction with longer conversations during daygame.

Any ideas?

 

[kristian]

Girls appearing from left and right, me taking any opportunities available and approaching girls every day. I see that I have the skills required to get one date from cold approach a week and for me, that's a HUGE improvement from last year where I barely got girls engaged. Now I get half of the girls hooked in conversations.

But the escalation windows are short:

*Like the aviation student that was on a conversation with me, but since I was about to leave for a meeting I couldn't manage to ask her number. Instead, I came back, but by then she was on her phone and did not have the time to talk...

*Or the extremely cute Croatian girl who was on a trip for a few days in Oslo. She was about to go to the bathroom but got engaged in conversation with me. I couldn't close her and she remembered she was late.

In both instances, time was really a constraint. Next time, I have to be quicker.

And texting is also another story. I havent worked on my text game since I started this almost two years ago. Time to start working on that thing.

At least I touch earlier on
*But sometimes forget to have some tension in my openers. I am good enough on dates, but see that I could make thing even more clear on my approaches in order to avoid meeting girls like Kristina again.

And I am also doing some "slow game" on a couple of girls, people here say its not always the best idea and I agree - however, I want to have that skill on my arsenal. It will always be a distant second to cold approach, but I love to "work on" a girl or two and push it there.

Other than that, I just need a lot more experience in the latter stages of seduction. Opening is good, texting could be better, dates are okay, closing could be better. Fundamentals are great at this stage and my mental game is very good as well.

Let's see what the upcoming dates will bring.

 

[kristian]

Timing has a lot to say in seduction, it's an under-discussed topic but a woman's sexual availability has a lot to do with the amount of success you get.

I met AK a girl ive been "workin on" a little on the side and she tells me she is seriuously dating someone now. She gave me a clear window back in may which I did not take because I was still out of it;

From my fuck up back in may:

"Or one of Miss Js friends, who came to my moving in to a new place party, and asked me if she could come back later and sleep over, only for me to counter with "I guess my couch could work". My answer startled her, we were flirting a lot by then. And then I realized this was plausible deniability to make me seduce her. Yikes!"

And she found another guy she connected better with. Good for her. A learning lesson for me.

But it doesnt really matter, AK is a cool girl and we still flirt a lot. I even touch her body when we meet so I know I can escalate if her guy fuck up or something. And I always remember why I am playing this game; To find new girls. There are so many I really dont care for any particular woman. I really wish they become a couple.

Other than that my interactions have been "not so great" today. Its not about me, but the girls (in a rush, on another head space and so on), but it doesnt matter, I forget rejections very fast. And thats nice!

And I will have a new day game date tommorrow. And this girl seems quite cool and is very beautiful.

So wish me luck, guys!

 

[kristian]

A few things I noticed about sexual tension:
*Like the article I am referring to (with Chase) you can only create it with a certain type of girls - and that are the ones that already are looking for the same.

Now my question about it is; does that mean that seduction is about finding those girls and just moving forward?
And I can also see that those girls have various degrees of sexual lust. Does that mean I have to cater my tension to how horny she is?

I was very turned on back in may and I remember scaring some girls because my sexual tension was too high, not only do I need to find the girls that are looking for the same as me - I also need to find the right amount of tension. Too much and I scare them away, too little and they end up friend-zoning me.

So the girl I met now - Maria, needed enough tension to make her see me as a sexual option. However, I can also see that I get even more horny from certain other girls (and Maria is one of the hottest girls I've been out with). Why is that? Could it be that she was just looking for some physicality in order for me to escalate, but not too much, making me just horny enough to do that? Or is a lot of tension in my hands?

On next date, I need to just skyrocket my tension a lot more and see how girls respond.

My attainability is good now


But I think I might lose some edge as well. I feel like a very nice guy and make girls comfortable in my precense. I will have enough samples by the end of the week to really find out if I am being too much of a nice guy and see if I need a little more sexuality again.

At least I am moving forward with every girl. No matter what.

 

[kristian]

It feels in a way that it's much more easy to escalate on a girl I cold approach vs someone I already know from social circle. Maybe because she as well is being conservative with how much I can touch and do things.

It is also better when you are attracted to the girl. Today was one of those days, I've managed to ask out someone I haven't seen for two years, only to get disappointed when I saw her: She gained 35 pounds. I couldn't even see myself having sex with her, so I friend zoned her pretty fast. Not only was she a little too curvy, she had also lost a lot of her social skills and that made me loose all attraction I had for her. At least we got some nice conversations at the end of it and I hugged her goodbye even when she was expecting me to get her home. I just couldn't do that.

And of course, Miss J is appearing now and then, last time on Pride. We ended going the whole thing together and this time sexual tension was through the roof. We also text flirted a lot later on and I invited her home, but she said she was too tired to come. Anyways, I made the idea of seducing her and only being a fling realistic for her. But of course, I do not care as much if we end back together or not. It's just something I am experimenting a lot on.

Ayla is back as my main lover now. She scares me sometimes, by being a little too romantic. I know I made it clear that I am not looking for anything more than a fwbs-arrangement because I really don't have the desire to lead someone on. It's weird how much I changed from my bad boy days. I don't get as many lays, because I am still figuring out how to be a genuine man with integrity - but sooner or later I will figure it out and it will be a lot more rewarding than being an asshole.

And Maria - the girl I dated last friday- is very different from the girls I usually date. She is honest, not so "lost in feelings" and knows what she wants. I made it very hard for her to say no when I got her home and tried to escalate, but she resisted and told me she wanted to see me again. I think we both boyfriend/girlfriend-zoned each other and I got her really excited but a little scared when I told her about my bad-boy-past (something I almost never say to girls nowadays).

We both got surprised at each other- she hasn't met someone like me, with my past, interests, and behavior and I haven't met someone like her; An educated woman (engineer), that also is more of the reasonable kind. And unlike the emotional girls I usually seduce, she was a lot more conservative in her affections than I am used to. I guess this is a market I need to explore a lot more.

Thursday is date day. A social circle-girl named Mona and she is CRAZY. But gets me really horny. I invited her straight to my place and said I would give her wine, lets see what happens.

 

[kristian]

My date with Mona

As she was sitting there, by my side in my bedroom, drinking wine and talking about guys she is dating, I was asking myself:

Do I like her conversations? No. Is she smart or good for my career? No. Does she give me any value besides looking good? Not at all.
So why am I wasting my time pretending to be friends? I invited her straight to my place, is she just playing dumb?

I went for the kiss, only for her to back off and giving me the "let's just be friends" speech. I really don't have any time for that. So after talking a bit - and trying to figure out when I can hang out with my friend Kristoffer - I go for the kiss again. She goes out of the room and disappears from the apartment.

Nice, at least I can hang out with my friend now!

How long did it take to get over this girl?

25 minutes to be honest. I sent her a message saying we wanted different things and no worries, see you around (because we share social circles).

But the whole thing got me thinking:

Every single time I managed to sleep with a girl, the attraction - and the sexual tension - was there from the very beginning. Chase is teaching us to move forward with the girls that are looking for the same thing and avoiding time wasters.

I used to be so naive back in the days; believing the hype, that it was possible to get any girl.

No matter how good he was, Michael Jordan couldn't score on more that 50 % of his opportunities. I can only get a fraction of every girl I set my eyes on, and even then, a lot of moving parts has to work for me.

Game and seduction is about finding my market and seducing those who want me too. Not every guy can sleep with every girl on his market, not even the hottest girl can get every guy she sets her eyes on commit.

So that's that.

But I can get one date a week from cold approach now. That's awesome, and I am not even trying hard anymore.

I believe I can get one lay a week in a year or so.

But until then I need to work on these two babies:

Sexual tension and finding girls that are DTF.

I think night-game can help.

 

[kristian]

I am done with social circle game.

No more "working" on girls I know, no more thinking about someone and scheming how to attract, seduce or re-attract someone I know well. My ego gets in the way and I spend energy on girls that are only maybes at best - especially when I could spend a couple of minutes figuring out how attracted or how fast I can move forward with cold approach girls instead of months pining over a social circle girl.

Remember AK, the girl that I was working on for a couple of months? The one I fucked up with back in may?

The guy she has been involved with after me is one of my close friends - I found out - he is a little more talented than me with girls - especially in social circles. Many of Miss Js friends have been fascinated by him and because he moved fast when AK gave him a window, she is exploring him. I met her last Saturday- and ditched a cold approach girl for her. I tried hard to escalate on the dance floor and were very close to kissing, but she declined because she did not want to complicate things by being intimate with two guys from the same circle (which is understandable).

So my friend won this time. My ego got hurt and I was mad at myself for- again - spending energy on social circle girls. I am taking a break from that and vowed myself on becoming even more attractive and talented than my friend.

Losing a girl hurts. But when a friend takes her from me and "wins" wakes the competitive part of me, I want to show them and become even more talented.

And Miss J sends me a message telling me she "only wants to be friends". No problem with that. I am cutting her off altogether.

--------

I also had a cold- approach marathon this weekend, talking to every attractive girl in sight. It was extremely educational because I know what genuine compliments really means.

*When you deliver them, she knows you're there to give value, so she rarely rejects you harshly. You aren't there to get something from her.
*That makes her hook even harder if she is single and ready for you. Being genuine and honest is also refreshing for a woman, as genuine men don't grow on trees.

And that takes away the pressure to perform, you are enough as you are and more centered in yourself and willing to walk away making you pass test more easily.

Many approaches and those where quality approaches too- combined with two cold approach dates (one was even instant date) was awesome for me to explore.

The first date was with one I met at the bar earlier last week, she agreed to meet me, after being extremely honest on text:

"Benedicte. Kubb-making or ice in the park. I like you (and that's not easy to hide) and want to see her again.

If you still want to see me, then contact me. If not; no worries, I will go to the bar again and say hello if I see you. I want to explore you, colorful woman with a lot of life inside and on the outside."

Honesty works wonders. Genuine conversations make girls hook. She went from maybe to eager.

The date went very well. But she had an excuse to leave early (had to work an hour after our meeting). I tried to invite myself to her house, only for her to counter with time constraint. She loved my vibe and even told me:

Her: I know what kind of guy you are. You're a fuck boy!
Me: (Smiling and looking a little embarrassed). Me? No, I am a nice guy.
Her: Yeah, right. Haha. I like you, but I haven't decided how I want you yet. (Looking at me with lust.

We agreed to meet again. Let's see what happens.

The one I ditched for AK


So on my way to AK I spot a cute girl waiting outside a bar. I stop her, give her a genuine compliment and after finding out her logistics (she was on her way back home) she agreed to go inside again with me.

She even followed me to the bar, bought me a beer and was ready for me to escalate. Then, AK calls me, and says she is outside the other club (which I invited her to) waiting for me.

Me: Karina. I have to go now, but I want to see you again.
Her: Already? We haven't been with each other for more than 15 minutes!
Me: I know. And I am sorry (and then I tried to kiss her, she backs off).
Her: You know this is your only chance to be with me. I buy you a drink, want to spend the night with you, and you ditch me like that. This is unacceptable.

And totally understandable. I felt bad for her as I left the place in order to seduce AK (which eventually did not work out).

Life lessons I guess.

But I pushed myself harder than ever. And met many girls. Thats awesome. I rested yesterday and I am resting today, but tommorrow will be another day where I will push myself harder than ever.

And I am travelling to Berlin in a week. That will be extremelly awesome.

Wish me luck!

 

[Ergon]

Good luck Kris!

Short pick trips are refreshing.

Keeps us posted.

 

[kristian]

Ergon!

Yeah, a trip by myself will give me new energy.

 

[kristian]

When I wake up. That feeling of loneliness every morning.

I tried to date some girls back in april and may, only for that hole to get bigger. After understanding this, I let the girls go and find somebody else. One is kind of back (Ayla) while the other (Natasha) found a good boyfriend to build a home with.

Me, on the other hand, feel that pain when I wake up. No amount of meeting new girls will give me that long term satisfaction needed to feel whole again.
Its weird because I used to never commit fully because I wanted a way out "in case they hurt me", making me hurt others for that.

And then, after understanding this, I met Miss J, being a female version of my former self.

Now, my journey calls me to have a great relationship with myself. And that's a whole different game than before.

Women give us lessons to learn that sticks forever, I guess.
---------

Approaches and lessons

New crazy girl

Me: Hi, do you speak Norwegian, or do you prefer English?
Her: I speak both.
Me: Nice let's talk then (smiles and speaks my native language).
Me: I saw you a couple of blocks ago and liked your style and look. And then you appear right, here again, so I had to speak to you.
(A little pause in order to build tension, she laughs, give me THAT look, it's ON).
Me: So what are you listening to?

We talk about music, our sense of style, amongst other things. I see scars on her arms (a crazy girl again?). But use that as bait.

Me: You know, us crazy people need arts and music to get out some fumes. (referring to her artistic endeavors, yeah, a lot of artists in my life).
Her: Yes. It's so cool that you have a good sense of people.
Me: (Smile, building tension, she starts looking at my lips).
Me: So what are you up for now (trying to find logistics and go for instant date)

It turns out she has a boyfriend, but we traded info and I gave her a hug. At least I felt this approach was great.

And writing this reminds me of what the experienced seducers say: Write as soon as you can!

Yesterday outing and a new mentor

So I went out, again. Pushed myself really hard this time, nice, because I learned some new things.

Message to random, cute girl on Facebook:

Me: Hi Maya. I saw you liked my post on Nidra Yoga-group. I got curious and went to your profile and wow: you amaze me!
Loved your pictures and that you seem so close to nature. I have to admit I would love to get to know you.
Her: Thank you for kind words and for noticing that, Kristian I would also love to get to know you.

And then instead of inviting her out then and there I started talking about her and what she up to and so on. Of course, it ended her not responding. A nice case of a window closing. Really fast!

Indra
I and Kristoffer stopped her after her looking and smiling at me (we met a couple of times earlier, through extended social circle).
I was too tired to react, but he invited her out with us (and told me she kind of like me).

She ended at our house. They smoked weed (I can't smoke that anymore) and she had to get out after crying...

I again realized she invited me out with her. But I didn't want to ditch Kristoffer. And this was another escalation window.

Damn those are fast!!
And now Kristoffer is trying to get her. Another reason for just going out alone.

Northern Norwegian beauty

Me: (After looking at her from the other side of the room, she was sitting with her sister). Hi, we saw you sitting over here and find you cute and I have to say I want to know you better.
Kristoffer: Is it alright if we sit here with you?
Both: Yes, of course!

I spend a couple of hours working on intense eye contact, on touching in high points, on deep diving and flirting. She responded well, but couldn't join us for the rest of the night. But gave me her number.

The thing is, I am sometimes lazy to follow up on leads.

New mentor

Other than that, I met this guy, Thomas. A retired player who showed some of his former skills as we were out. Girls were just throwing themselves at him, and some cool guys were talking to him randomly. Thomas had this charisma I rarely see and even retired he told us some cool stuff.

*A player will always miss the days when he used to play. The feeling of getting a new girl will never be replaced.
*But every guy gets tired of railing girls and the night life. He wanted connection. That jazz.

Thomas: The thing is, I will always flirt with girls and love to get in "what could have happened if"-situations. I escalate to the point of kissing and just knowing I could have had her is enough for me where I am now. When I get home and make love to my woman. She knows why, and loves that I choose her after a night with girls all over me.

And that, gentlemen, is where I want to be when I get into a relationship. His woman knows her man is the shit and that makes the relationship passionate, still after 7 years and two kids.

But in order to get there, I need to refine my skill set. Thomas admitted that it would take him a couple of outings to get rid of the rust, but was also satisfied he knew how to seduce if needed to.

That's true abundance. Let's see how long it would take me to get there.

 

[kristian]

First things first:

I have to be a little careful and not write so many details about the girls I meet. What if they start reading this journal? From now on I will only refer to a letter, their profession or nationality. Other than that, I will be as detailed as I can when it comes to the whole interaction and technicalities about them.

So back to my journey. As Ergon pointed out here, short trips are very refreshing. I had a couple of limiting beliefs when it came to talking to girls at foreign countries (language barrier, that it was more difficult). In fact, I found out quite the opposite:

*Girls in Denmark and Germany are a lot more open to my advances and really dig my vibe. Norwegian women are more on guard and some of them even take offense at me talking to them.

*It could be the foreigner-vibe I give them, but it is also that girls not seem to auto-reject as fast or think that I am a sort of a player. Maybe girls in Oslo have much bigger egos?

*Guys have better fundamentals in Oslo than in Berlin (city center) and Copenhagen. It seems like competition might be fiercer in my country. But who knows? I can't conclude yet, but it seems that way.

So these are my stats in Berlin so far:
1. Scheduled date from cold approach (had around 8 yesterday).
2. One instant date that ended in kissing. That was my 2nd approach in Berlin in all.
3. 2 awesome approaches with touches and flirting. Nothing happened (first had bf and was at work 2nd I fucked up, by not making her invest enough. Will write more about it in this post).

Kind of the same in Copenhagen, but no dates because I did not have time enough to do anything, and girls in both cities are as beautiful as the ones I find in Oslo.

So Oslo is the place to become good with women at, while the other two cities are for enjoying myself. I don't need to work as hard here and that gives me another incentive to spend some months at both places

New lessons

*The more honest you are, the better the interactions. So no game playing or pretending here. When you approach her, make your intentions clear, why should you do otherwise.

*Deep diving is all about feelings and exchange emotions. She must feel like you get her and understand her inner emotions.

*Move forward. All the time, until you get to the bedroom.

I am also getting a much better handle on girls signals. Some of them will do it loud and clear, while others will be a little more subtle about it. As I've read on one of Chase's article, the real stunners will be a little more subtle about it.

I feel like Berlin will be a really good training ground to cold approach girls. I have no other option tbh because I am here all by myself (I am getting to know some folks already) and as a solo traveler, living here opens up many opportunities.

Memorable approaches

Me: (after pre-opening her). Hi, I saw you pass me by. I really liked your smile, style, and energy so I had to turn around, run after you and introduce myself.
You are really cute, Kristian is my name.

Of course, I am laughing and smiling as I say this. In order to not be seen as a crazy or creep. This is a Russian girl who works as a designer in Berlin. Brown hair with pink stripes (these are the freaky ones), red jacket and piercing on her bottom lip.

We start talking, flirting and I touch a little. (I now realize I could have ramped up sexual tension a bit more), but no worries, girls usually know that I am there romantically. She tells me about her work, about Berlin in general and her life.

Her: What about you? Do you have some tattoos?
Me: Not yet. I haven't decided. What about you?
Her: I have a couple.
Me: Nice. I bet I have to find out where they are (smiling).
Her: (Smiling). Hehe, yes.

I tell her I want to see her again (she was on her way home) and she says she can meet me tomorrow (later today). I later text her with this: "So cool meeting you. I'll text you tomorrow and we'll find out what to do. Have a wonderful evening." Which she replies with; "It was nice meeting you too! "

Let's see if the date happens. And let's find out what will happen;P

Why fundamentals open doors

Other than that I had an instant date with a musician. I found early on she was more a friend than a lover, so we talked for four hours. Got drunk, and even kissed a little on our way to her home (her soon to be boyfriend was waiting for her and a little pissed she met a random guy to get drunk with, haha). Turns our she is from New York and a professional singer/songwriter who makes hits for big artists in Germany. She liked my music and said she could introduce me some awesome folks here.

This girl works for fucking Sony music and wants to see me again.

Like I said earlier; fundamentals open doors I did not know existed. And of course, when you know how to flirt and create some "what-if-scenarios", you make an impact like few others will.

Fundamentals open doors. Deep diving make people trust you and sex appeal make the interaction memorable.

Put non-neediness in it and she will never forget you.

Wow!!

Other lessons

And of course, I had a couple of go-nowhere approaches. The first one was with another American woman that seemed keen but auto-rejected when I asked her out then and there before asking for investment. And then we got those who did not send me any signs of interest. Thats okay.

And then I am horny as fuck, haha.

I also met another mentor and this guy is in the game and has time to teach me. He is also Latino, the same height as me (170 cm) and has a game that in some ways resembles my style. He knows this better than me and has recently gotten to the point of abundance which means he is only a couple of steps ahead. Can't wait to meet him when I am back from Berlin. And this time I have some new experiences to share as well.

Lets call him Mr. G. Mr. G has great fundamentals, a value-giving vibe and has specialized in night-game. So we will go out and he will give me some pointers to work on.

Yes, man. That was all for now. No wonder I am learning fast when I push myself harder than ever. <3

 

[kristian]

You know that voice, triggered by others outside of your realm? The voice telling you you suck and never amount to anything? Well, that voice was louder than ever yesterday. Even thinking of it makes me afraid.

I felt like the worst person on earth after making a couple of approaches that ended with light rejections. I usually don't mind these but this time - and because my ego got attached to an identity as good with women - it put me off for the rest of the day and night.

--------

They don't talk about it here but the subtractive process (getting rid of ego) in our seduction journey is also a very painful one. Two dates in two days in a whole new country and city; That means I am closer to my goal than ever before, but the downward spiral yesterday started getting stronger.

And then it became worse after my second date. That's when I realized women would never make me happy - no matter how many I meet and seduce.

*I could have a harem with 10 of the most beautiful girls. It wouldn't make me any happier.
*I could be the most sexy guy out there. It won't make me more satisfied on the long run.

Being with women is an illusion. A very pretty one, that is. And it gives me a lot of good moments and unforgettable experiences.

But making my happiness depend on them. Well, that's a totally different thing. I have to fill my own cup first because I know that girls appear and disappear all the time. They are only a reflection, right?

So first I need to work on my own happiness and value as a man. And then I can work on attracting women. Not the other way.

 

[kristian]

So most of my interactions here have been day-game approaches (40 - 50). I haven't made out as much or had sex with any girls so far because I haven't been keen on going out at night-time and I am still not comfortable enough to do it all by myself.

A couple of dates, a make-out and some cool flirting, not bad for a guy that wasn't intending on doing that much. I also realize I had some escalation windows lately:

*Like the German girl that wanted me to join her to the lake. I was more keen on seeing museums.
*Or the Italian girls inviting me out. I was not in that mood.
*Or the Norwegian crazy girl that wanted me to join her to a party. She later tells me she ended having group sex. I was glad for her, but know I could have joined if I went with them, we had made out a lot by then.

Girls seem also to hook a lot easier here than in Norway too. Especially the very attractive ones. I've tried to talk to the artsy girls and the more alternative or spiritual ones, but they seem a little more aloof and non-responding. The attractive, feminine women, on the other hand, love my advances and seem also more eager to respond me. I think they like the fact that:

*I am genuine when I approach.
*They know they're attractive so me giving them value makes me interesting.
*They hook and let me touch them a lot more.

And people around us stop and stare as I make my intentions clear. That's a sign that this doesn't happen a lot. "This has never happened to me. Thank you very much. So how long are you staying here?"

I get this last line a lot. But something happens when I say "only for a few more days". They're either keen to make me move then and there or discard me. That's okay because I see that some girls want me to seduce while others would like to know me better and for a longer time.

*Some attractive girls turn around.
*Others stop and stare.

But I've also had some rejections out there. And although I am having fun on my own in a big city completely alone, I also battle with own emotions. Like I said earlier, I had some of the worst days game-wise here as well as some of the best ones. I realize it has mostly to do with my vibe and my vibe is dependant on how I feel at that moment, nothing more than that.

So when I am feeling needy and approach, girls seem not to hook or reject me. When I feel great, girls send me strong signals - especially the most attractive ones.

That means being good with girls has all to do with my own state. Being in a good state all the time is not easy so I am spending a lot of time going inwards when I am out or socializing. "How do I feel?", "How can I center myself after a rejection?" - those are questions I often ask myself.

Other than that, I love this city! More than 3 million people, many girls from all Europe (and some Americans) makes this city perfect for a guy like me. If it continues like that, and I manage to work on my inner feelings and center myself, I might move here for a time. I just need to figure out how things are work-wise with the Norwegian companies I am freelancing for. I can manage to work from Berlin and things are cheaper here, but I need a year to make enough and have enough clients in order to move.

So all in all:

*Attractive girls hook harder and want to meet me. The normal, "artsy" ones reject me more, I might be out of their league.
*I also get more windows than back home, that means I can get a lot more reference points (and some more lays).
*Berlin is a big city with girls from all over Europe.
*Wages here are lower, meaning I can live good working from here with Norwegian clients.

Things to improve:

*Sexual tension. Touching.

 

[kristian]

After pushing myself for a couple of weeks I've decided to rest until the weekend this time. Going out and flirting makes me a little exhausted and I see the importance of taking a little break before I burn out.

But that doesn't mean I don't work on anything; after the big approach-spree this week I decided to focus on two things on my off days:
*Signals from girls.
*Fundamentals.

I haven't worked on the last thing for a while now and see the need to improve this aspect. So after giving it a little thought, I decided to start working out again, amongst other things like voice tonality and face expressions.

When it comes to girls signaling me, well, that's a totally different story. After talking to my Mr. G last time he told me one thing that made me realize what I've been doing wrong: "You see, Kristian. Many guys have balls to approach, but the thing they do wrong is going up to girls that haven't signaled them at all. That what beginners do. As for me, I only approach girls that send me signs of interest".

And how does he do this? Well, he looks at their eyes and how they look at him. So I've been trying to depict women's eye signals.

*Stare and smile, often looking down.
*Looking down when they make eye contact.
*Holding eye contact for a long time.
*Smiling and looking at you for a couple of extra seconds.
*The flirty look.

The cool thing here is that I don't need to do anything to get girls interest. All I need is great fundamentals and approach (which I already am good enough at).

Another thing I am doing more of in the future; dating apps and online dating. To be continued.

 

[foggy]

So I've been trying to depict women's eye signals.

*Stare and smile, often looking down.
*Looking down when they make eye contact.
*Holding eye contact for a long time.
*Smiling and looking at you for a couple of extra seconds.
*The flirty look.

These are all great eye signals. My favourite is the girls who look down when they make eye contact. They are so easy to get into conversation with.

Another eye signal you gotta keep a look out for is a subtle one: girls who are looking at you using their peripheral vision. This one can be hard to notice for sure...but the fact of the matter is that not every girl is going to make her interest in you super clear. Some chicks refuse to be caught dead looking straight at you... or they are too shy to.

One issue is that some girls will have given you an eye signal but you were too preoccupied to notice it. What then? Some girls will only put themselves out on a branch for you once.

Here's a situation that happened to me from the other day. I was walking down an aisle at the grocery store. I was looking at food on the shelf. Then as I was walking further down the aisle, I passed a girl. I looked at her - she did not make eye contact with me and seemed to be preoccupied with her shopping...BUT... she was twirling her hair. Hm, had she maybe given me a peak when I wasn't looking and was now showing another sign? I can remember plenty of times a girl was twirling her hair around me, but I felt it didn't mean anything because I thought she hadn't seen me. Little did I know these girls had probably given me looks long before I noticed them. Anyways, later I was passing by the check out lanes. She was in one of the check out lanes, and gave me a brief look.

Eye signals are huge but a lot of girls aren't obvious about it and they're easy to miss, especially when you're just going about your day and not focussing on gaming at that moment. So keep a look out for other signs like, preening...I'm sure you know that though kristian.

Right now I am starting to pay attention to certain micro-expressions girls have on their faces when they are interested in me but I haven't engaged them in conversation yet.

 

[kristian]

As Backstory writes (thank you man), I've been also seeking for the girls that have checked me out without me noticing. I guess he refers to the gut-feeling telling me a girl has been looking at me and rightfully so, I often pass by women twirling their hair, or looking down and smiling as if they saw me and saw away before I could "catch" them.

So I did it once with a girl that looked my way as I turn around. Opened her (indirectly) and had a nice conversation. Logistics weren't there as I couldn't get her to invest enough before I had to get off the bus.

Or the Russian girl I caught looking at me at the next bus. I give her a genuine compliment as we both get off, only to find out she was married and her husband was on the phone (handsfree). That was fun.

Other than that I've been enjoying my rest days, reflecting on my past relationships, dates I've had and where I want to be date-wise in the future. I had a couple of bad days because I had a lot of alcohol on Friday and smoked green Saturday. Not good, it fucks me up so I realized and implemented the following:

*Workouts. Three times a week, compound movements, mostly.
*Eating habits. Vegetables, brown rice, not that much sugar. Nuts for increased testosterone.
*Cut down alcohol a lot. No more green.
*Sleeping 8 - 9 hours.
*Visualization and meditation every day.

And I felt very grounded today, thanks to all the above. That makes my confidence rise and approaches better.